


Haircuts

by Bubbly_Kandy



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: ADHD Christine!, Angst, Brooke and Chloe and Jenna are going to be in a poly relationship soon!!, Christine and Jeremy are dating for a few chapters, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Gen, Haircuts, Intentional Misgendering, M/M, Michael has two moms, Multi, Non-binary Jake Dillinger, Pillow & Blanket Forts, Pride Parades, Spooning, The SQUIP is very transphobic, Trans Character, Trans Jeremy Heere, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Jeremy Heere, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-11-13 04:35:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 107
Words: 80,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11177148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubbly_Kandy/pseuds/Bubbly_Kandy
Summary: Just a bunch of Trans!Jeremy fics. I DO take requests, so come and drop one off!!(I changed the summary because A this ain't a short piece anymore and B people on Tumblr were threatening to throw something if I called Jeremy a soft trans boy so. Please don't throw things I have anxiety about that)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I wanna write  
> My stories: hey  
> Me: No not you
> 
> It is currently 1:07 and I've been reading Be More Chill boyf riends fics for the last three hours

Michael was scribbling in a coloring book while humming. The 9 year old was lying on his stomach, which was not the best plan, now that he thought about it. Especially after he had just eaten.

He had his headphones on, which would explain why he didn't see his best friend, Joanna, right away. Only when she tapped on his headphones did he look up. But when he did, his face split into a wide smile.

“Joanna! When'd you get here?” 

“I got here about two minutes ago,” she said, her face strangely serious. Michael pulled his headphones off, his smile dropping a bit.

“Joanie, what's wrong?” She bit her lip, then turned to close the door. Afterwards, she clambered up on his bed, her skirt landing in a wide circle. Only then did Michael notice the scissors she was clutching in her hand. “Joanie?” 

She took a deep breath. “Mikey, you know how I'm not… like other girls, right?” Michael scoffed. 

“Uh, no duh? You're the biggest tomboy I know! That's why we became friends!” She giggled, but then became serious again. She tugged on one of her long pigtails, a nervous habit she had always had.

“Well, I, uh, I've been thinking, and doing research, and… I think I'm a boy?” Joanie looked down at the bedspread, tracing the pattern with a finger. Michael reeled back.

“Huh? How's that- how's that possible?” He squeaked, making the other child look up with fiery eyes. 

“I don't know! It's just- I-” Joanie- Joanna? Jo- broke down in tears, covering her- his? Their face with their hands. Michael crawled forward, hugging his friend tightly. The other squeaked but slowly hugged him back, burying their face into his neck. 

“So, if you're a boy, shouldn't we come up with names?” Michael said, still tightly holding onto the other. Jo lifted their face up, eyes glistening with tears.

“You're- you're not mad?” Michael scoffed. 

“Why would I be mad? If you're a boy, you're a boy! No big dealio!” Jo giggled again, rubbing his face with his hands.

“Names? Maybe… Alex?” Michael consulted his thoughts, but then shook his head critically. 

“No. None of the ‘Alexander’ names fit you. Maybe John?” Jo gagged.

“Nuh-uh. Too white boy.”

“But you are a white boy.” Michael said, his voice a complete deadpan. Jo’s eyes lit up at the sentence. “Joseph?” Jo hummed.

“Maybe… Jeremiah?” Michael nodded, a smile splitting his face. 

“Mmm, but it's too long. Jerry? Jeremy?” Jo nodded enthusiastically. 

“Jeremy!” Michael giggled. 

“Jeremy Heere... it sounds nice!” The two children giggled together, both of their noses scrunching. The newly named Jeremy took in a deep breath through the nose, calming himself down. He picked up the scissors, inspected them for a minute, then made eye contact with Michael. He held the scissors out, letting Michael take them.

They weren't the normal plastic scissors, either. These were for cutting… oh. Oh no.

“J-Jeremy, you aren't gonna-” Jeremy nodded, pulling the ribbons off of his carmel colored hair.

“You're gonna cut my hair, Mikey. I'll get my dad to bring me somewhere special to get it all the way done.”

“But why?” Jeremy rolled his eyes, then looking intently at Michael. 

“See, we can say that we were playing with these, and cut my hair. Then, my family can take me to the barbers, and I'll have a boyish haircut. It's a foolproof plan!” About halfway through, Michael shook his head. He put down the scissors, saying,

“Nope, no sir. I'm not gettin’ in trouble for this.” Jeremy scoffed, running his fingers through his hair. 

“If you're not gonna do it, then- then I will.” Jeremy grabbed the scissors, grabbed a fistful of hair, and placed the metal against it. Michael let out a small noise of distress.

“Wait! If you're actually going to do this, at least let me.” He tried to take the scissors back, accidently closing the contraption a bit, cutting off some of Jeremy's hair. “Sorry!” 

“It's okay, really! I'm the one that wants to do this, anyways.” He handed the scissors to Michael, letting the few strands of hair fall into the trashcan. 

The two got up and went to the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror. Michael was nervously clacking the scissor blades together, waiting for Jeremy to finish straightening out his hair out by running his fingers through it. 

After thirty seconds, Jeremy nodded his affirmative. Michael started cutting his hair to something that would look like a grown up would have. 

After ten minutes, he was done. Jeremy played with the newly cut strands, letting them flop over his forehead when he pushed them back. He chuckled, then turned to face Michael.

“Does it look good?” 

“Well, seeing as it is my work, yes. It looks fantastic!” Jeremy swatted his arm. 

“Thanks, Mikey.” 

“You're welcome… Jer-Bear.”

“Jer-Bear?” 

“Yep! It's your new nickname! I came up with it just now.” Jeremy smiled, looking down at the floor. Michael held his arms open for a hug, which Jeremy readily walked into. 

They hugged in the bathroom until Jeremy's parents called for him to leave. When the two walked downstairs, the adults initially balked at Jeremy's new haircut, but admitted that it did look quite nice on him.

It didn't stop them from giving the two two weeks of no TV, though.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes!! People like my story!! Im doing good!!
> 
> Im adding more chapters, since you guys seem to like my first one! 
> 
> Thanks for all of your sweet comments!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: //listening to ‘Two Player Game’// //gasps// i have a Idea
> 
> Thats how this came into fruition. I now have cavities.

Michael had completely destroyed Jeremy at Mario Kart for what seemed the fiftieth time when he heard it. He stopped his victory dance, which was more of a seizure-like wiggle on the couch.

“You are my favorite person, you know that, right?” Michael turned to face him, seeing Jeremy blush as he looked away. Michael smiled, crawling closer to the other boy. 

“Is that true? I'm your favorite person?” He teased, replacing his ‘R’s with ‘W’s. He flopped himself over the other boy, leaving his whole weight to lean on Jeremy. 

Jeremy rolled his eyes, half-heartedly pushing the other off. The two then got into a small tussle, their giggles growing louder when they fell off of the couch. 

“Yeah, you are- get off of me, you jerk!” Jeremy shrieked, batting Michael's hands away as he tried to tickle Jeremy. 

The 11 year old giggled as he tussled with Jeremy. 

“Say it again!”

“Say what again?” Michael poked Jeremy's stomach with mock anger. Jeremy squeaked.

“The ‘Favourite Person’ thing.” His hands started snaking up his shirt, to his tummy.

“Why- aah!” Jeremy rolled in on himself as Michael started tickling his tummy. Through his giggles, he said, 

“You’re my- Michael! Favourite person!” Michael laughed, moving to Jeremy's sides.

“Say it again!” 

“Why- Okay, okay! Favourite person!” Michael finally stopped, removing his hands from underneath Jeremy's shirt. He laid on top of the other boy, feeling Jeremy's binder from under his shirt. 

Jeremy was still letting out breathy fits of giggles, especially when his gaze landed on Michaels hands. Michael cuddled with him, leaning close to his ear.

“You're my favourite person, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got any writing suggestions, or any stories you want to see? Comment and let me know! Thank you for reading!


	3. Telling Christine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Jeremys gonna tell the squad!

Jeremy took a deep breath as he stared at the phone in his hand. He was texting his girlfriend, Christine, and had decided to tell her his secret.

_JerryHeere: Chrissy, can i tell you something?_

_Dramaticgirl: sure babe, whats up?_

Jeremy's thoughts were running wild. Even now, he expected the SQUIP to start telling him what to do. The phone screen dimmed, so he quickly tapped it. Christine sent a text.

_Dramaticgirl: Jerry?_

_Dramaticgirl: are you okay?_

_JerryHeere: yeah yeah im fine_

_JerryHeere: how do i say this_

_JerryHeere: im FtM_

_Dramaticgirl: whats that?_

Jeremy's hands shook a bit.

_JerryHeere: im transgender_

_JerryHeere: FtM means female to male_

_JerryHeere: please dont be mad_

_Dramaticgirl: !!! No!!!_

_Dramaticgirl: im not mad, babe!_

_Dramaticgirl: im really happy that you trust me that much so that you can tell me this!_

_Dramaticgirl: youre really brave for coming out! I know how hard it is to come out!_

_JerryHeere: are you sure?_

_Dramaticgirl: yes!!_

Suddenly, Christine's number started to call him. He answered the call. Christine's melodic voice drifted through the speaker.

“Babe?” She said. Jeremy hummed.

“Yeah?”

"Thanks for telling me. I'm really proud of you, okay?” Jeremy's eyes filled with tears.

“Y-yeah. Thanks for being so understanding.”

"Of course! Are you gonna tell the others?” Panic seized Jeremy's limbs.

“U-uh, soon, I guess? I’ve already told Michael, and now, you.” He could practically hear Christine nod.

“Well, if you need help, just tell me, okay? Ill tell the others, if you want.”

"No, I want to tell them.”

“Alright. Well, I better go. Play practice tomorrow?” Jeremy nodded.

“Yeah, see you then.”

"Okay. Love you, babe.”

"Love you too.” The words still sent tingles down his spine when he said them. Christine hung up. He flopped backwards onto his bed.

One down, four to go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Texting chapter sorry

_ Dramaticgirl has added RichyBitch, JaketheCake, Michaelinthebedroon, JerryHeere, and Valentino to a group chat _

 

_ Dramaticgirl has named the chat ‘trashcans’ _

  
  


_ JaketheCake: how do you know where i live _

 

_ RichyBitch: Lol _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: guys!! Jeremy and i have news! _

 

_ Valentino: youre pregnant?? _

 

_ JerryHeere: no, oh god no _

 

_ JaketheCake: is jeremy preggo?? _

 

_ JerryHeere: funny how you say that _

 

_ Valentino: zOH MY GOD _

 

_ Valentino: JEREMYS PREGGO JEREMY IS PREGGO EVERYONE _

 

_ JerryHeere: well, no _

 

_ JerryHeere: im FtM  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: which means hes trans _

 

_ JaketheCake: whoa dude  _

 

_ RichyBitch: ok _

 

_ Valentino: no ones preggo?? _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: no chole, youre not gonna be an aunt today _

 

_ Valentino: aww darn _

 

_ Valentino: but thanks for telling us Jeremy! _

 

_ JerryHeere: no ones mad?? _

 

_ RichyBitch: why would we be mad??  _

 

_ JerryHeere: idk  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: also, we broke up _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: WHAT _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: JEREMY _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME AFTER ALL THIS PINING, YOU BROKE UP???  _

 

_ JaketheCake: theres michael _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: HELL YEAH THERES MICHAEL _

 

_ RichyBitch: nows your chance to get your man, Mikey _

 

_ JerryHeere: pardon _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: ASDFGHJKL _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: sent a video:mescreeching.jpg  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: boys, be nice _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: nice falsetto Michael _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: //fingerguns//  _

 

_ Valentino: i ship it _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: me and michael?? _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: ew no _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: sorry girl but _

 

_Dramaticgirl: no its okay i get it_

 

_Valentino: nO_

 

_Valentino: jeremy and michael_

 

_JerryHeere: yikes_

 

_JerryHeere has left the chat_

 

_RichyBitch: there he goes_

 

_JaketheCake: goodbye friend_

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine platonically calls Jeremy babe and i am weak
> 
> Hey you should go talk to me on Tumblr my account is @modern-lamsheadcanons

Jeremy groaned as another sharp pang ran through his body. He was lying on his stomach, a heating pad underneath his belly. All he had on were yoga pants, (a suggestion by Christine,) and his sports bra on, (a suggestion by Chloe.) He was watching the TV, but all there was were stupid reality shows and infomercials. It was the worst Sunday he had ever experienced. And that was saying a lot.

 

The door suddenly opened and slammed shut. He could hear Michael humming the Tetris theme, even all the way in his room. 

 

“Jeremy?” Michael called, his footsteps echoing through the halls. Jeremy thought back to  _ SCP Containment Breach,  _ for some odd reason. He made a non-committal grunt, to, which a few seconds later, Michael opened the door to his room.

 

“Hey, Mikey.” Jeremy said, pulling his face out from his pillow. Michael waved, then noticed the cord to the heating pad. 

 

“How long have you had that on?” Jeremy shrugged.

 

“I dunno. Since I woke up?” 

 

“When was that?” Michael asked, raising an eyebrow. Jeremy planted his face back into his pillow.

 

“Six AM…?” Michael's eyes widened.

 

“Dude!” He walked over to his bed, sitting down hard. He then started to try and take the heating pad away from Jeremy. “I will  _ not  _ let my best friend be cooked to death!” Jeremy groaned, batting Michael's hands away. 

 

“But it feels nice.” He whined. 

 

“I don’t give a shit if it feels nice, you’ll be cooked through and I’ll have no choice but to feed you to cannibals.” 

 

“There's holes in your logic.” Jeremy muttered, still fighting off Michael from grabbing the heating pad.

 

“I will do it!” 

 

“Why, do you have a vore kink?” Michael stopped and gagged. He then waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

 

“Mmm, you know how I just  _ love  _ biting and eating people~” Jeremy giggled.

 

“Dude, stop. That's gross.” Michael smiled.

 

“You’re grosser.”

 

“You’re the grossest.” Michael pouted.

 

“Dammit.” The two boys giggled. Michael then saw the TV. His eyebrows furrowed. “What the hell are we watching?” He said, shifting so that his head was lying on Jeremy's back, facing the TV. A infomercial came on. “Oh. Blech.” He grabbed the remote, flipping through the channels until he landed on one playing  _ Naruto. _

 

The two watched that for a while, the episode thankfully being one with plot, before Jeremy removed the heating pad from his tummy. He replaced it with a pillow, wiggling until it was wedged underneath his belly. Michael groaned.

 

“Do you mind?” Jeremy stopped moving.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Nah, it's fine. Hey, wanna watch a Disney movie?” Jeremy nodded. Michael got off of Jeremy, and headed to the DVD rack. “Mulan?” 

 

“Sure.” 

 

“Jesus, I love this movie. The music’s great.” Jeremy grinned.

 

“Sap.” 

 

“You got me.” Michael entered the DVD into the player, and went to go lay down on Jeremy again. Jeremy's phone buzzed.

 

_ Dramaticgirl: hey babe _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: watcha doing _

 

_ JerryHeere: watching Mulan with Michael _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: nice _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: ill leave you to it :) _

 

Jeremy put his phone underneath his pillow. Michael was intensely watching the movie, being extremely quiet. Jeremy started to feel sleepy. 

 

He only got to Mulan being injured in battle until he fell asleep.


	6. Disney Movies :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just self-indulging because i had a really bad headache so

_ Dramaticgirl has changed the group chat to Disney Movies :D _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: hey guys!! _

 

_ JerryHeere: whats the meaning of this _

 

_ JaketheCake: whats the meaning of life _

 

_ RichyBitch: holy fuck jake is going deep _

 

_ JaketheCake: just like last night ;) _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: hoLY FUCK _

 

_ Valentino: RICHJAKERICHJAKERICHJAKE _

 

_ JaketheCake: I HAVE mADE an MIStaKE _

 

_ Valentino: preggo?? _

 

_ JerryHeere: chloe do you have a kink or something _

 

_ Valentino: ;) _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: anyways _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: less about rich and jakes sex life and more about our favorite disney movies :D _

 

_ RichyBitch: ASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM _

 

_ JaketheCake: im hanging out with rich and hes just yeLLINg into his pillow so _

 

_ RichyBitch: LEAVE ME ALONE TO D I E _

 

_ JerryHeere: same _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: same _

 

_ Valentino: same _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: guys!! Disney movies!! _

 

_ JerryHeere: mines lilo and stitch :)  _

 

_ Valentino: sOFT BOY JEREMY _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: mines mulan  _

 

_ RichyBitch: ,,,,same michael _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: ;) //fingerguns// _

 

_ Valentino: ah,,, mine would be,,, cinderella _

 

_ JaketheCake: i dare not say _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: aww, we wont judge, right guys?  _

 

_ JerryHeere: nope _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: not at all ;))  _

 

_ JaketheCake: its,,,,tangled _

 

_ Valentino: !! Nice!! _

 

_ RichyBitch: wanna watch it? I have it _

 

_ JaketheCake: !!!! Ye!!!  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: these two are the definition of ‘no homo’  _

 

_ Valentino: speaking of, are you two dating yet?? _

 

_ JerryHeere: yikes _

 

_ JerryHeere has left the chat  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl added JerryHeere to the chat _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: youre not going anywhere babe _

 

_ JerryHeere: who knew i would be threatened by the word ‘babe’  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom has left the chat _

 

_ Valentino has added Michaelinthebedroom to the chat _

 

_ Valentino: no _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: IM TRAPPED _

 

_ JerryHeere: we,,,are,,,not,,,dating _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: darn _

 

_ Valentino: poo :/ _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: can i leave and watch mulan _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: course :)) _

 

_ JerryHeere: christine, whats yours?? _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: oh!! Beauty and the beast :) _

 

_ Valentino: !!! I love!!! Beauty and the beast!!! _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: wanna come over and watch it? _

 

_ Valentino: !!! Yes!!! _

 

_ \---- _

 

_ {At 6:59 PM} _

 

_ RichyBitch has changed the chat name to wAKE ME UP (wake me up inside) _

 

_ RichyBitch: I MAde a bIG misTAKE _

 

_ JaketheCake: how? _

 

_ RichyBitch: my baby cousin is here and now we’re watchinh _

 

_ RichyBitch: dOC MCSTUFFINS _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: i like that show! _

 

_ Valentino: its cute!! _

 

_ JaketheCake: oh my ogd  _

 

_ JaketheCake: nice :’)) _

 

_ JerryHeere: im heere whats wrong _

 

_ RichyBitch: was that a pun _

 

_ JerryHeere: yep ;) _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: i watch that show its great _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: do you have any siblings? _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: no  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: i watch it with my own time _

 

_ JerryHeere: i once walked in on him singing the theme _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: ;)) hell yeah you did ;)) _

 

_ JaketheCake: sexy _

 

_ JaketheCake: WAIT WRONG CHAT _

 

_ Valentino: even then its funny  _

 

_ RichyBitch: this is,,, really cute actually wow _

 

_ RichyBitch: cringey at times but cute _

 

_ Valentino: sOFT BOY RICH OMG _

 

_ JaketheCake: i knew you would like it :) _

 

_ RichyBitch: yeah :) _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: //sweeps into room// gay //runs out// _

 

_ RichyBitch has left the chat _

 

_ JaketheCake has left the chat _

 

_ Valentino: ooh ;)) _

 

_ Valentino: left at the same time ;)) _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: chloe cmon _

  
_ Valentino: ;)) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anytging you want to see?? Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is after the first chapter, when Michael is alone with his family.
> 
> Michael having two moms is my asTHESTIC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nanay- mom
> 
> Mahal- dear
> 
> Is that right? I'm only a white person, so I'm not sure. Thanks!
> 
> I've been told that the Tagalog translation for dear is anak, so I'll just,,, gently slide that in

“Nanay?” 

 

“Yes, Mikey?”

 

“What does it mean when a boy is in a girls body?” Michael’s mother choked on air before turning to face her 9-year-old son.

 

“Uh, love, why don’t you come sit down, okay?” Michael walked toward the couch, flopping down on it. His mother sat down next to him, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. “What’s with this…  _ particular _ question?” Michael sat up.

 

“I was playing with Jeremy-” Warning bells went off inside of his mother's head.

 

“Who’s Jeremy?” Michael huffed.

 

“Joanie. He's a boy now, which was my question. How can that happen?” Michael's mother placed a hand on her chest, tilting her head back. Thank  _ God  _ that her little boy didn’t know about the birds and the bees yet. She pulled him closer by putting her hand on his shoulder and tugging a bit.

 

“Well, Mikey, Joan-”

 

“Jeremy.” Michael said, a frown on his normally always-smiling face.

 

“Jeremy.” His mother agreed. It was going to take a while to remember that. Not that she minded. “Well, there are some boys that are born in a girls body. Just like how some girls are born inside boys bodies.” Michael's eyebrows furrowed. 

 

“But how can that  _ happen? _ ” His mother sighed. 

 

“I don’t know,  _ anak.  _ But, can you promise me one thing?” Michael nodded.

 

“Mm-hmm.” His mom smiled.

 

“Jeremy is going to be very scared when he tells people. There are some very mean and horrible people out there who would not hesitate to hurt him.” Michael’s jaw dropped.

 

“What?!” He shrieked, slamming his palms on his knees, then jumping up. “Why? Why would someone want to  _ hurt  _ Jeremy?” His mother jumped at her sons’ sudden burst of passion. She placed her hands on his shoulders, gently guiding him back down to the couch. 

 

“Once again, I don’t know, Mikey. Can you promise me that you will help Jeremy feel safe?” Michael nodded, his glasses sliding down a bit.

 

“Yeah! I’m gonna be Jeremy's biggest protector!” Michael said, jumping up and running to his room. “I’ll be his… Player Two!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got any ideas? Let me know in the comments! Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy tries to wear a skirt in this chapter, and the SQUIP is very transphobic, so if you don’t want to read that, you don’t have too!

_ “Jeremy, what is that?” _

 

“Uh, a skirt?” 

 

_ “Why are you- stop putting it on!” _

 

“Why? It’s hot outside.” 

 

_ “Jeremy, listen to me. Christine doesn't want a guy who wears a skirt. She wants someone manly, a buff guy who is most undeniably a boy.” _

 

“How do you even know that?” 

 

_ “Also, Rich and Jake are going to make fun of you. And how about Jenna, or Brooke? They’ll all hate you, Jeremy. Go and put pants on.”   _ Jeremy flinched, but decided to fight back. 

 

“No.” 

 

_ “Excuse me? Do as I say.”  _

 

“No!” A electric shock zapped his body. “Ow, stop that!” 

 

_ “Jeremy, if you wear that, you will never be with the cool guys. Christine doesn't want someone like… That.”  _ Anger made his cheeks flush red. 

 

“Shut up, you freaking- Oww!” A stronger electric shock ran through his body, making him collapse on his knees. “You know I hate it when you do that!” 

 

“ _ Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt. Goodness, Jeremy, I’m surprised you can even pass as a boy. Even now, you’re questioning if you’re a boy or girl. You should be thankful I’m this accepting.” _

 

“Accepting?!” Jeremy shrieked. “You are repeatedly telling me that I’m never good enough! Even when I take my T, you try to tell me it’s all for naught! Just  _ shut up! _ ” There was a deadly silence. Shaking, Jeremy reached for the skirt. 

 

“Oww!” Jeremy grabbed his head, sinking down onto the floor.

 

_ “Don't test me, Joanna.”  _ Jeremy gasped, his mind washing over in numbness. “ _ If you want to be known as a male, you must dress like one. Do you understand?”  _ The pain in his head increased until he sobbed,

 

“Yes, okay, okay, please just  _ stop! _ ” The painful grip over his mind loosened, and, stumbling over himself, Jeremy got up and wiped away the tears that had leaked out. Looking at the skirt, he could feel the painful grip creeping back. 

 

He headed to his pants drawer, and got some pants. The SQUIP was undoubtedly satisfied.


	9. Chapter 9

Jeremy woke up to Michael leaping on his bed, shaking him awake. He let out a strangled yelp as Michael grabbed his shoulders, leaning in close to his face.

 

“It’s  _ snowing! _ ” Jeremy woke up right away, shoving Michael none-too-gently off of the bed. 

 

He grabbed jeans, pulling them on while hopping on one foot, nearly tripping over Michael. He turned away from Michael and pulled off his sports bra, reaching behind him to catch his binder, which Michael threw at him. He pulled on his binder, letting Michael adjust the back. He then grabbed a sweater and pulled it on. He turned towards Michael. 

 

“Let’s go!” Michael shook his head.

 

“First, brush your hair and teeth. I’ll go make breakfast,  _ then  _ we can go outside.” Believe it or not, Jeremy was the most childish when it came to snow. Michael was the one who made him slow down and do things before jumping into a snow drift. Michael headed downstairs.

 

As Jeremy brushed his teeth, he looked outside. It was a glittering, white world out there, making Jeremy bounce with excitement.  

 

After he hurriedly brushed his hair, he dashed downstairs, missing a few steps in his haste. 

 

“Thank  _ God  _ it’s Saturday!” He whooped, sliding into the kitchen, where Michael had a few pieces of toast with jam laid out. Jeremy grabbed a piece of toast, taking huge bites and barely chewing before swallowing. 

 

“Holy crap, slow down!” Michael said, laying a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “The snow’ll still be there when you’re done.” Jeremy whined, taking a smaller bite of toast and chewing before swallowing. 

 

“But ‘m excited.” He complained, sticking out his lip in a mock pout. Michael giggled.

 

“I know. I am too.” He whispered, bouncing on the chair he was sitting on. Jeremy finished his toast, licking off some of the jam that clung to his mouth.

 

“Let's go then!” He yelled, running to the winter closet, which held all of their winter clothes. Since Michael had to walk over to Jeremy's house in the snow, he already had his stuff on. 

 

After Jeremy hurriedly pulled on his winter clothes, the two boys went outside. They were both blinded by the bright light reflecting off of the snow. They both got used to it though, and started playing in the snow like they used to do, in kindergarten. 

 

The two built a snowman, made snow angels, and wrestled each other, getting the ice down their backs. Soon, Michael wanted to take a break, so he sat on the stoop and watched Jeremy as he ran, giggling, into snow drifts, sometimes having to spit the snow out of his mouth. 

 

After ten minutes of Michael watching Jeremy play, the two boys got tired. He walked back towards Michael, his cheeks red and his eyes bright. He was breathing heavily.  

 

“Wanna go back inside?” Michael asked, standing up and turning the lock.

 

“Yeah.” Jeremy wheezed, pulling his scarf over his mouth and nose so that only his eyes were visible. 

 

Once they got inside, they stripped off their winter clothes, going to sit on the couch when they finished. Michael opened Netflix, and started flicking through Jeremy’s recently watched movies. 

 

“You watch anime?” 

 

“...Yeah?” Michael was already a bit scared, but when he saw  _ what  _ exactly his friend watched, he gagged.

 

“You  _ furry! _ ” 

 

“What? I’m not a furry.” 

 

“Really? There's some pretty damning evidence.” Michael said, shoving Jeremy. The boy nearly fell off the couch.

 

“What? We all have our kinks.” Michael gagged.

 

“Still. Furry.”

 

> “Shut up!” 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy's dad just loves him a lot ok

It had been almost two years since Jeremy came out as a boy to Michael. He was on the computer, looking up cheap binders while on the phone with his best friend.

 

“Ooh, there’s one that’s only five dollars…”

 

“Where is it?” 

 

“On Craig’s List.”

 

“Skip.” Jeremy glared at the phone. 

 

“Why?” Michael scoffed from the other side of the phone. 

 

“It could be, like, covered in blood when you get it or something.” Jeremy thought about this side to the argument. 

 

“Fine.” A thought reached him. “Wait. How are we gonna buy this thing?” There was a small scuffle from Michael’s side of the phone.

 

“Don’t you have your Bar Mitzvah thingy soon?” Jeremy let out an involuntary cry.

 

“I’m not waiting  _ two years  _ for my binder!” 

 

“... Hanukkah?” Jeremy groaned. 

 

“Yeah, in  _ four months. _ ” Michael let out a groan, and a suspicious sound from the other end led Jeremy to believe that he had slammed his head on his table.

 

“Are there any more opportunities for you to get money?” 

 

“No.” It sounded like Michael slammed his head on the table again, but this time there was a yell from his mother. 

 

“Sorry, Mama!” Jeremy giggled. “Why don’t you ask your dad?” Jeremy’s giggles immediately stopped. 

 

“ _ No.  _ What if he kicks me out of the house? Where would I go?!” 

 

“You can live with me! Mama and Nanay wouldn’t mind.” Michael quickly assured him. The door suddenly opened, causing Jeremy to jump, nearly dropping the phone. 

 

“I’ll call you back. Dad’s home.” He hung up, quickly closing out the tab he was on. He opened up  _ Club Penguin  _ as his dad walked in. 

 

“Hey, Jo.” 

 

“Hi dad.” Jeremy clicked on a minigame, and started to play it. His dad walked up behind him. 

 

“Can I steal the computer from you? It’s for a business deal.” Jeremy paused, thinking back to his search history. 

 

_ Safe binders _

_ Safe binders for trans boys _

_ Cheap binders for trans boys _

_ Safe and cheap binders for trans boys _

He gulped, but relinquished the computer. He knew that his dad would get suspicious if he did try to delete his Google search, and look at it himself, with Jeremy watching. Hopefully the man didn’t look at the search history. 

 

He went to sit in his room, watching his dad sit down and open a browser. He closed the door, took out his homework, and started to do it. 

 

After an hour, his dad came back into the room.

 

“Hey Jo, I gotta leave again. My business partner is throwing a hissy fit, and I need to go and calm him down.” Jeremy nodded.

 

“Okay.” 

 

“Invite Michael over, okay? I’ll let you two have a sleepover.” 

 

“Okay.” 

 

“One more thing.” 

 

“Hm?” Jeremy looked up at his dad, seeing a spark he hadn’t seen before. 

 

“If a package comes, either today or tomorrow, it’s for you, okay? Open it, even if I’m not there.” 

 

“Uh, okay?’ His dad looked at his watch.

 

“I gotta go. See you.” 

 

“See you.” He left, and Jeremy sighed. He put away his homework, and went to go pick up the phone. 

 

“Dad says we can have a sleepover.” Michael cheered. 

 

“I’ll be over in five minutes!” Jeremy smiled and hung up. He went to go and get supper ready, and saw a note.

 

_ Jo,  _

_ Don’t read this whole letter until you got the package, alright?  _

 

The letter was folded over so that only that part was visible. Jeremy cocked an eyebrow, but followed its instructions. 

 

Michael arrived three minutes later. The two played video games and ate snacks until the doorbell rang. Michael jumped.

 

“What is it? Zombies?” Jeremy rolled his eyes. 

 

“No. Dad said a package was coming for me, so this is probably it.” He got up, Michael following close behind. He opened the door to find a package from a place called Underworks. He picked it up and shook it. No rattling.

 

“What do you think it is?” Michael asked, his eyes squinting at the brown paper. 

 

“I dunno.” Jeremy went to the kitchen again, found the letter, and sat down. Michael sat down by him. “You wanna make the first rip?” Jeremy asked. Michael shook his head.

 

“Nah. It’s your thingy, you should open it.” Jeremy shrugged and ripped the package, finding a box that said  _ Underworks,  _ just like the package. 

 

“What’s Underworks?” Michael shrugged. Jeremy popped the top off of the box, then his jaw dropped open in shock. Michael gasped. 

 

“Is that-?” Jeremy squealed.

 

“It is!” He removed the black binder from the box, and held it up, eyes wide. He ran his hand over it, feeling the sleek material run smoothly underneath it. Michael was grinning widely, and the two made eye contact. 

 

Michael laughed aloud and hugged Jeremy’s shoulders, rocking back and forth quickly. “It’s a binder! Your very own binder!” Jeremy giggled, then sniffed, rubbing at his eye with a fist. Michael looked at him, a bit concerned. “Are you okay?” 

 

Jeremy's eyes were filling with tears. He hugged the binder, nodding his head. “I’m just- really,  _ really  _ happy.” Michael then spotted the letter. He grabbed it, opening it up. 

 

“Do you want me to read it?” Jeremy nodded again, rubbing his hand over his binder again. Michael cleared his throat. As he started to read, Jeremy looked over his shoulder and read along silently.

 

_ Dear Jo, _

_ Don’t read this whole letter until you got the package, alright? _

 

_ You got the binder? Good. I saw your Google Search history a few weeks ago. Don’t worry, I’m not mad. Why would I be mad? I have a son! I’ve always wanted a son, you know that?  _

_ What's your name now? I bet you don’t want to go by Joanna, anymore, do you? Tell me whenever you want, okay?  _

_ I’ll order some T for you. That'll make you look more like a boy.  _

_ I love you, bud. See you soon.  _

_ Love, ur dad. _

 

Jeremy was openly crying by then. Michael put down the note and hugged him, rubbing his shoulder. Jeremy leaned his head on Michael’s shoulder, making that spot wet very quickly. 

 

“Are you okay?” Michael asked softly. Jeremy looked at Michael, noticing that his glasses were falling off, and that he was tearing up also. Jeremy shook his head.

 

“I’m just so  _ happy. _ ” Michael giggled.

 

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to draw something for this chapter because I have a really clear idea of when Jeremy is hugging his binder and Michael is hugging him but I'm a shit artist so
> 
> Anything you want to see? Tell me down in the comments!
> 
> Thank you!!


	11. Rich is suffering but its okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First of all, shoutout to TalkLess, who has, without fail, commented on all of my chapters without fail! Thank you! 
> 
> You should check out their story, its really good!!

_ RichyBitch to wAKE ME UP (wake me up inside): FUCK _

 

_ JaketheCake: whats wrong _

 

_ RichyBitch: remember my baby cousin?? _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: yeah!! How are they? _

 

_ RichyBitch: well sHE’S MAKINH ME WATCH  _

 

_ RichyBitch: fuCKINH MY LITTLE PONY _

 

_ Valentino: //spits out water// zOH MY GODDD _

 

_ JaketheCake: HAHAHA _

 

_ RichyBitch: don’T LAUGH AT ME JAKE IM SUFFERING  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: you poor guy XD _

 

_ RichyBitch: that FUCKINH song is stuck in MY FUCKINH HEAD _

 

_ Valentino: I used to wonder what friendship could be _

 

_ RichyBitch: stOP _

 

_ JerryHeere: until you all shared its magic with me _

 

_ RichyBitch: jerEMY NOT YOU TOO _

 

_ Dramaticgirl has added Pinkyberry and JennaMarbles to the chat _

 

_ Valentino: big adventure! _

 

_ JaketheCake: tons of fun! _

 

_ RichyBitch: STOP IT _

 

_ Pinkyberry: a beautiful heart, _

 

_ JennaMarbles: faithful and strong! _

 

_ RichyBitch: WAKE ME UP (wake me up inside) CAN’T WAKE UP (wake me up inside) SAVE MEEEEEE _

 

_ JerryHeere: sharing kindness! _

 

_ Valentino: its an easy feat, and magic makes it all complete!  _

 

_ RichyBitch has left the chat  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl has added RichyBitch into the chat _

 

_ RichyBitch: i regret becominh friends with you people _

 

_ JerryHeere: same _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: jeremyyyyyyyyyyy _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: whats going onnnnnnn _

 

_ Valentino: is michael high???? _

 

_ JennaMarbles: i think he is! _

 

_ Pinkyberry: lmao _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: jeREMY _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: THERES A FISH DROWNING  _

 

_ JerryHeere: wheRE THE HELL ARE YOU _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: thE SOUP STORE  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: IM BUYINH CLOYHES  _

 

_ JaketheCake: WHY ARE BUYINH CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE,??????? _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: FUCK U  _

 

_ JerryHeere: dammit michael im coming _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: like last night???  _

 

_ Valentino: BOYF RIENDS MEMERYMEMERYMEMERY  _

 

_ JennaMarbles: OMG!! _

 

_ Pinkyberry: i ship it!!!  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: everyone calm down _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: jenna, dont spread that theyre dating _

 

_ JennaMarbles: :( fine :( _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: jeremy, babe, go pick up michael _

 

_ JerryHeere: kk _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: michael, how high are you? _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: … 6’0?  _

 

_ RichyBitch: holy shit Michael is tALL _

 

_ Valentino: tALL BOY MICHAEL  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: how much weed did you smoke, Michael? _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: a lot,,  _

 

_ JaketheCake: how tall is jeremy?? _

 

_ JerryHeere: 5’8 _

 

_ Pinkyberry: gotta loVE height differences  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: guys! Focus! _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: where are you, michael? _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: at my house _

 

_ JerryHeere: good _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: okay. Thank you, michael _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: mmmmhmmm _

 

_ JennaMarbles: so,,, are you two dating??? Jeremy and Michael??? _

 

_ JerryHeere: no no no no _

 

_ JerryHeere: and please stop asking _

 

_ JennaMarbles: fine i will :/  _

 

_ JaketheCake: hows my little pony, rich?? _

 

_ RichyBitch: i am,,, horrified _

 

_ RichyBitch: cursed show _

 

_ RichyBitch: i wanna watch doc mcstuffins _

 

_ JennaMarbles: i love that show!!! _

 

_ Pinkyberry: me too!! _

 

_ Valentino: im here im queer and im not old enough to drink beer whatd i miss _

 

_ JerryHeere: did you see michael high as f? _

 

_ Pinkyberry: awe jeremy doesnt swear bless :’)))  _

 

_ Valentino: yeah _

 

_ JerryHeere: you didnt miss a lot then _

 

_ {4:38 AM}  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: what happened _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: oh  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: oH FUCK SORRY ABOUT THAT _

 

_ JerryHeere: its fine go back to sleep _

 

_ JaketheCake: gay _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: says you _

 

_ JaketheCake: hey excuse you im bi _

 

_ RichyBitch: same _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: go back to sleep!! _

  
_ Michaelinthebedroom: okay mom _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you want to see? Let me know in the comments down below!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm calling Sockiesock out here because their stories are!! So!! Good!!! Go check them out!

Jeremy grabbed a pillow from his bed, crawling back underneath his sheet, which was hung from two chairs in his room. Michael was banging around downstairs, trying to get snacks ready.

 

The TV was flickering a bit as Jeremy opened up _Apocalypse of The Damned 2,_ and as he set up the remotes. He then started fluffing up the pillows, adjusting the blankets a bit.

 

They had used to do this in seventh grade; that was the year Jeremy got a TV in his room, and when Michael had come to his house one day, his eyes bright. He had apparently looked up how to make pillow forts, after an off-hand comment made by Jeremy the day before.

 

After he had wrapped himself up in a light blue blanket, Jeremy’s gaze drifted to his wrists. The electricity scars were raised along his veins, branching out to his elbows and knuckles. He hadn’t even noticed them before; only last week did he see them.

 

Michael opened the door. Well, more like kicked it open; the loud _bang_ and Michael’s wild scream gave him enough to go off of. Michael popped his head through the opening in the sheets, pushing in Fruit Snacks, Pepsi, Goldfish Crackers, and Gushers. Michael soon followed the food, flopping down on the pillows and blankets.

 

“Ah, nostalgia is washing over me like the tides.” Jeremy rolled his eyes and handed him a controller. Michael grabbed it, and they started a level.

 

After an hour of playing, they took a snack break. Michael cuddled down into his deep green blanket, sipping a Pepsi. Jeremy turned the TV to his DVD, where he was playing _Lilo and Stitch._ Michael snorted, but didn’t say anything.

 

Jeremy was focusing intently on the TV, mouthing along to what Lilo was saying.

 

“Do you know what tuna is?”

 

“Fish?”

 

“Its _fish!_ If I give Pudge tuna, I’d be an abomination! I’m late because I had to go to the store and get peanut-” Michael burst out laughing. Jeremy glared at him as he paused the TV. “Why are you laughing?” Michael shook his head.

 

“Dude, you can sound _just like her._ It’s terrifying.” Jeremy blushed when he realized he had been not mouthing along, but actually saying the words.

 

“Uh, I’m sorry.” Michael waved his hand in a ‘forget about it’ motion.

 

“It’s fine. Just- you sound just like Lilo.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

Later, when Stitch came on screen, Michael started saying his lines. This time, it was Jeremy’s time to laugh. “You can sound just like Stitch!” Michael giggled.

  
Afterwards, they both recited their respective characters lines, laughing even harder than usual. Their stomachs hurt at the end of the movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you try to tell me Michael can't sound exactly like Stitch you're wrong


	13. Pining Pals(tm)

_ JennaMarbles has removed Pinkyberry from the chat _

 

_ JennaMarbles changed the chat name to oh fuck i think im gay _

 

_ - _

 

_ Valentino: ….???? _

 

_ JennaMarbles: ,,,im gay _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: same  _

 

_ RichyBitch: whyd you removed brooke?? _

 

_ JennaMarbles: why do you think richard _

 

_ RichyBitch: okay first of all _

 

_ RichyBitch: i am not richard _

 

_ RichyBitch: second of all oh  _

 

_ RichyBitch: i understand now _

 

_ JennaMarbles: anyways _

 

_ JennaMarbles: and brooke is reeaaaaalllllyyyyy hot so how do i ask her out _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: just ask her out like you would with a guy! _

 

_ JerryHeere: youll do fine jenna _

 

_ JerryHeere: shes starry-eyed for you _

 

_ JennaMarbles: thanks jeremy :’) _

 

_ \-- _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom has removed JerryHeere from the chat _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: christine help _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: whats up? _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: jeremys being really sweet and cute rn and ughhh _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: ??? Dont ask me _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: why? _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: im aroace _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: got no time for romance or limbido when i could be in plays or taking over the world :) _

 

_ Valentino: slightly terrified _

 

_ JaketheCake: yeah _

 

_ RichyBitch: michael my dude _

 

_ RichyBitch: hows he being cute? _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: hes,,, just _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: hes reading Jane Eyre and going off on a rant about Mr Rochester or whatever and hes so passionate about it _

 

_ JennaMarbles has changed the chat name to Pining Pals™ _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: thank you for your contribution jenna _

 

_ JennaMarbles: //fingerguns// ayyy _

 

_ Valentino: but i thought he was straight??? _

 

_ RichyBitch has changed their name to Bisexuality  _

 

_ Bisexuality: listen hon im gonna tell you something thatll Blow Your Mind _

 

_ Valentino: wAIT FFUCK _

 

_ Valentino: I HAVENT SLEPT IN A WEEK _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: go to bed!! _

 

_ Valentino: //salutes// yes ma’am _

 

_ Valentino has gone offline _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: NOW HES LEANING ON ME MY GAY LITTLE HEART CANT HANDLE THIS _

 

_ JennaMarbles: sHOOT _

 

_ JennaMarbles: asK HIM OUT  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: nO _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: i dont have a crush on him hes just _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: so c u t e _

 

_ Bisexuality: //turns to jake// sounds like a crush to me _

 

_ JaketheCake: mmhmm _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: its fine if you dont ask him out! Just do it whenever you feel comfortable:) _

 

_ Bisexuality: jUsT Do iT _

 

_ JaketheCake: donT LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS _

 

_ JennaMarbles has added Pinkyberry to the chat _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom has added JerryHeere to the chat _

 

_ JerryHeere: i feel Hurt _

 

_ Pinkyberry: i feel Abandoned :( _

 

_ JennaMarbles: sorry guys! We were discussing things not for the innocent children :) _

 

_ JerryHeere: i AM NOT A INNOCENT CHILDREN _

  
_ Pinkyberry: YEA _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me @ my dad: caLL ME YOU COWARD 
> 
> In other news, I'm turning 14 in 4 days!! Yaay!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael gets stoned and its gets pretty gay

Jeremy opened the door to Michael's house, catching a faint whiff of weed in the air. He walked downstairs, the smell growing stronger until he was dizzy with it. The room was misty with smoke, and it was hard to spot Michael until he was practically stepping on him. 

 

“Michael?” Michael looked up at him, his eyes red from behind his glasses. Once he recognized Jeremy, a slow, loopy smile spread across his face. Michael stood like a child would: bracing his legs and pushing himself up with his arms. 

 

“Jeremy~” Michael hummed, letting himself fall against Jeremy’s chest, which was uncomfortable because of the four inches Michael had on Jeremy, and that Jeremy was skinnier than him. 

 

Jeremy still caught him though, sitting down on the beanbag, Michael laying on him. Michael’s head was in the crook of Jeremy's neck and shoulder. Jeremy sifted so that his friends knee wasn’t  _ digging into his thigh, fuck that hurt.  _

 

The fumes were starting to go to Jeremy’s head, making him feel light-headed. Michael was mumbling something, so Jeremy tried to listen in.

 

“Michael was in the bathroom… Allllllll by himself…” Jeremy looked at the back of Michael’s head in confusion. 

 

_ “ _ Okay, let's get you upstairs.” Jeremy mumbled, trying to hoist Michael up so that they could go to clear air not choked with chemicals and smoke. However, Michael let his body go limp, so Jeremy flopped back on the beanbag, coughing a bit. Michael started talking again.

 

“Ya know, it was real rude what you did that night, Jeremy.” Michael’s hands twitched. “So I went into the bathroom… And stayed there till the fire.” Jeremy stared at Michael’s back. Was  _ that  _ what happened? 

 

“I’m- I’m sorry, Michael.” Michael hummed. 

 

“Mm. I know it was the SQUIP… So I don’t blame you entirely, Jere.” Jeremy took in a breath and tried to stand again. Michael, this time, compiled with Jeremy standing and heading, first to the window, then to the stairs. He sat Michael on the couch, and went to get a drink of water for the both of them. 

 

He sat by Michael and gave him a glass, then started to drink his. Michael, on the other hand, leaned towards Jeremy, putting his mouth by Jeremy’s ear and- oh.  _ Oh.  _

 

Michael was biting his ear, rolling the flesh between his teeth and sucking. Jeremy was stiff; he knew this wasn’t okay, that he should stop Michael, but the fumes must have affected his brain more than he thought, because he didn’t do anything. 

 

He knew that Michael was not on his right mind; the weed was playing games with him. That thought sent feeling back into his body, and he shoved Michael off of him, scrambling up from the couch. 

 

Michael looked at him, confused. Jeremy pushed the water into his hands, then walked out, his walking classifying more as jogging. Calling over his shoulder, he said,

 

“I-I’ve got to go home!” 

 

Once he got home, Jeremy ran up the stairs, past his dad, who was conked out on the couch, with the television on. Jeremy turned the TV off before running upstairs.

 

Jeremy stared at himself in the mirror, his hand toying with the ear that Michael found so interesting. He still felt dizzy; his stomach was flipping around. He convinced himself that it was just the weed. 

 

Jeremy flopped onto his bed after turning the lights off and taking his binder off. He didn’t even bother plugging his phone in. He fell asleep immediately. 

 

_ {6:46 AM}  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom has sent a private message to JerryHeere _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: dude did you come over last night? _

 

_ JerryHeere: uh _

 

_ JerryHeere: yeah why _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: did i do anything… weird? You know how i get with weed lol _

 

_ JerryHeere: no _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: are you sure? I remember you leaving in a hurry _

 

_ JerryHeere: no you didnt do anythinh _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: are you sure?? _

 

_ JerryHeere: nothing nothing yoU DID NOTHING _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: something something I DID SOMETHING  _

 

_ JerryHeere: fine,,,, you bully _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: :)))) _

 

_ JerryHeere: so,,, you were in your basement with the toxic fumes of marijuana so i dragged you upstairs and got you water but you didnt drink it and instead started _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: started what? _

 

_ JerryHeere: you leaned over and started playing with my ear _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: that doesnt sound too bad,,, _

 

_ JerryHeere: ...with your mouth _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: oH FUCK _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: DUDE IM SO SORRY  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: im really sorry if i made you uncomfortable,,,, i didnt mean it i swear _

 

_ JerryHeere: i know it was just the weed _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: im still really sorry _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: wanna play video games as an apology? Im really really sorry _

 

_ JerryHeere: ill play if you let me be player one _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: you drive a hard bargain mr heere >:( _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: but okay ill do it _

  
_ JerryHeere: sweet :D _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you want to see? Any requests? Im running out of ideas! Please comment, thank you!!


	15. Chapter 15

Jeremy was in his room, scribbling stars and such onto his math homework. It was times like these that he still missed the SQUIP. It was an asshole, but it could do his math homework. There was one question left, so he put pedal to the metal and started doing the equation. 

 

“Son?” Jeremy jumped a bit, looking towards his door. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Can you come out here a second?” Jeremy shrugged and quickly finished the question,  then stood and opened his door. 

 

His dad had a strange expression on his face, like he was going to cry, but his eyes werent watering. Actually, he looked quite happy. There was a envelope in his hand.

 

Jeremy was handed the envelope, which said  _ happy early birthday  _ on it. It was thick, and quite heavy, actually. Jeremy turned it over and broke open the seal. His dad then put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“You might want to sit down.” He said, guiding Jeremy down the stairs, to the kitchen table. 

 

Jeremy was getting more confused by the second. Why did he have to sit down? Why did he get a random envelope that said  _ happy early birthday  _ on it? Why was his dad acting so  _ strange?  _

 

Jeremy sat down, waiting for his dad to sit. When he did, Jeremy started opening the envelope again. He pulled out a huge wad of money. He flipped through it, eyes wide.

 

“What’s this? Where'd you get all of this? What's it for?” His dad took a deep breath and smiled at him, his eyes shining. 

 

“Son, you know what top surgery is, right?” Jeremy nodded.

 

“Yeah, why’re you-” realization hit him like a truck. “Oh my god, did you-?” His dad nodded.

 

“It’s scheduled in four months, on the 13th.” Jeremy’s mouth opened in shock.

 

“No. This- this isn't- am I dreaming? I must be dreaming. This-” Jeremy squealed. He jumped up and, with a few steps, flung his arms around his father, laughing. “ _ Thank you! _ ” His father chuckled.

 

“You’re welcome. Not such a bad birthday present, eh?” Jeremy pulled back, burying his face in his hands.

 

“Best birthday present  _ ever! _ ” Jeremy yelled, dancing in a circle. “I’m gonna get top surgery, I’m gonna get top surgery!” His dad chuckled at his antics. 

 

“Why don’t you call Michael? Tell him the news?” Jeremy nodded ecstatically, tripping over his feet in his race to get upstairs. 

 

Once he was in his bedroom, he snatched his phone up, calling Michael. His chest felt like a sun was rising in it; he let out a small squeak when Michael came on speaker. 

 

“Jeremy, my buddy, what is it?” Jeremy huffed out a breath, giggling.

 

“Guess- just guess what my dad gave me for my birthday.” Michael hummed.

 

“A new video game? Isn't your birthday in two weeks?” Jeremy giggled again, giddy with happiness.

 

“No, believe it or not, it's  _ better  _ than a video game.” Michael gasped dramatically.

 

“Well, it better be freaking amazing if it’s better than a video game, dude.” Jeremy covered his mouth with his palm, his heart beating even faster.

 

“I’m gonna get top surgery!” He whispered, burying his face in his pillow. Michael started yelling from the other end. 

 

“Oh my  _ God _ !” 

 

“I know!” Jeremy yelled, wiggling on his bed. Michael started laughing from the other end, and it sounded like he opened the door.

 

“Are you serious? Really serious?” Jeremy nodded.

 

“Uh-huh!” Jeremy covered his eyes with his hand, feeling tears starting to well up.

 

“I am going to be right over, and we are celebrating like there's no tomorrow.” Michael said. Jeremy laughed. The two hung up.

 

About three minutes later, Michael was let in by Mr. Heere. Jeremy heard Michael’s footsteps, and then he burst open the door, screaming when he saw Jeremy. Jeremy joined in. 

 

Michael flung himself onto the bed, laughing wildly. Jeremy giggled along. 

 

“Let me see it! The money!” Jeremy sat up and took the money out of the envelope, handing it to Michael. Holding it above his face, he sifted through the bills, counting under his breath. 

 

“ _ Six thousand dollars! _ ” Jeremy fell back onto the bed, his stomach hurting from laughing so much. Michael counted it again, saying once more, “six thousand dollars!” 

 

“Is it enough?” Jeremy asked. Michael nodded.

 

“I looked it up. It’s  _ more  _ than enough!” Jeremy squealed again, rolling so that he was on his stomach. He propped himself on his elbows, hiding his face in his hands, again. “When is it scheduled?” 

 

“In four months, on the 13th.” Jeremy said. Michael also rolled over, handing the money back to Jeremy. Jeremy started tearing up again, so he rubbed his eyes hard to get rid of the water. Michael laid a arm across his back, rubbing his side soothingly. “God, this  _ has  _ to be a dream.” Michael pinched him. “Ow!” 

 

“See? Not a dream. This is really happening, Jere-bear.” Jeremy’s lip quivered, and tears built in his eyes. He scooched closer to Michael, burying his head in Michael's sweatshirt and letting the tears flow. 

 

“God, this is the best day  _ ever. _ ” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got any requests? Tell me down in the comments!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! This chapter includes some very transphobic people, so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want too!

Jeremy tried to discreetly adjust his binder at his locker. He had gotten up late, and he barely had any time to put on his binder on right. He grabbed his books and walked to his math class, being shoved around, per usual. 

 

What  _ wasn’t  _ usual, though, was when his wrist was grabbed by a girl with toxic green eyes and light brown hair. He was dragged to a unused hall, then pressed against a wall. Jeremy was still, the girl pinning his wrists by his head. She glared at him, then tossed her head in a ‘come on’ motion. Two boys emerged from behind a pile of boxes, grinning wickedly. 

 

“Hello, Jeremy,” she said, her own smirk making his insides squirm. She then moved, pinning only one wrist to the wall. One of the boys’ pinned his other wrist to the wall, holding hard enough to make him gasp. 

 

“H-hey, what are you doing? What did I do?” Jeremy asked, struggling a bit. The girl dug her fingernail into the side of his wrist, making him yelp.

 

“Quiet.” She snapped. Without ceremony, the boy that was left started to unbutton Jeremy’s shirt. Jeremy squawked, kicking out and wiggling.

 

“Let me go! Leave me alone! Stop it!  _ Stop it! _ ” He yelled. The boy pulled the two halves of his shirt apart, revealing his binder.

 

“Check it out! She really is a girl!” Jeremy froze, his eyes wide. 

 

“I’m- I’m not a girl,” he choked out. The girl giggled and entered his vision.

 

“Oh, but you are.” She said. “God doesn’t make  _ mistakes,  _ darling. God makes everyone perfect. Therefore, you are a girl, because God made you a girl.” Jeremy’s upper lip curled.

 

“No, that-” The girl slapped him, quicker than he could blink. 

 

“Don’t argue with us. Now, lets-” 

 

“What the hell is going on here?” Jeremy’s head swung around to see, to his relief, Michael. 

 

“Michael!” Jeremy cried out, struggling against his captors. The girl snarled.

 

“Leave us alone, Filipino boy. You don’t need to see this.” Michael raised an eyebrow.

 

“First of all, I have a name. Its Michael. Second of all, that's my  _ friend,  _ so let go of him.” The girl shook her head.

 

“Oh, Michael~” She cooed. “This silly girl thinks that she’s a boy. See, we’re trying to help her find her right state of mind.” Michael glared at her, then raced forwards and shoved her, so hard that she fell onto her butt. She screamed in anger, her hand clawing towards Michael’s face. 

 

“My friend is a  _ boy _ .” Michael said, his voice dangerously low and icy. “ _ He  _ is not confused,  _ he  _ is not a mistake, and  _ he  _ is in a perfectly good state of mind. His mental state is much more stable than your deranged, close-minded little world you’ve locked yourself in.” He spat, glaring at the girl. She growled, her teeth bared and her eyes wild. 

 

“You and her are going to  _ Hell  _ for this.” She said, standing. Michael scoffed.

 

“Oh, please. I may not be a Christian, but I do know a few things from the bible.” He cleared his throat. “ _ Thou shalt love thy neighbor. _ ” Michael’s eyes raked over the scene again. “And this doesn’t look like ‘loving thy neighbor’ to me.” The girl scoffed.

 

“This isn’t the end of this.” She threatened. She then pushed past Michael, her lackeys following behind her. Once she left, Michael ran and slid by Jeremy’s side, who was now on his knees on the floor, clutching the two sides of his shirt together. He was staring in the distance, his eyes wide and glassy. 

 

“Dude, hey. Look at me, listen to my voice. She’s gone, they're gone, you're okay.” Michael said, kneeling in front of Jeremy. Jeremy locked eyes with Michael, their glassy appearance fading slowly. 

 

“That was-” Jeremy tried to speak, but was cut off by Michael. 

 

“Hey, don’t talk right now, ‘kay? I’m gonna bring you to the nurse, so that you can calm down.” Michael was internally panicking. What if his friend was badly hurt by those people? What if he was too late? “Did they hurt you?” He asked gently. Jeremy shook his head no.

 

“N-no, they only opened my shirt and saw my binder.” Jeremy smiled shakily at Michael. “I’m okay, really. I’m already late for class, I don’t want to be in even more trouble-” Michael shushed him.

 

“Nah, you won’t be in trouble. I’m gonna report those people though,  _ they’re  _ the ones who are gonna be in a shit-ton of trouble.” Jeremy laughed a bit. Michael started to stand, but Jeremy’s hand shot out and grabbed him by the wrist. 

 

“Please don’t make me stand yet.” Jeremy begged. “I feel dizzy.” Michael was immediately on his knees again, feeling Jeremy's forehead with the back of his hand. 

 

“Do you feel sick?” Jeremy shrugged, making a ‘so-so’ motion with his hand.

 

“Just dizzy.” Jeremy started to button his shirt up again, his hands shaking. Michael placed a hand on top of his. 

 

“Do you want me to-?” Jeremy nodded, pulling his hands away from his shirt. Michael started to nimbly button the shirt up, adjusting the collar when he was done. After he did that, they sat in silence until Michael slammed a fist on the floor. “God, I can’t  _ believe  _ that they would say that-” A hand landed on his shoulder. Jeremy leaned his face close to Michael's, efficiently cutting him off. 

 

“Really, it’s fine. I’ve learned to let it roll off my back.” Michael’s jaw dropped.

 

“How come I haven't seen these people yet? Where are they? Do I-” Jeremy shook his head.

 

“No, no, it's not people at school. Its things like… The internet, the news, things like that.” Jeremy sighed. “There’s a lot more hate in the world that I’ve ever thought possible.” He said quietly. Michael looked down at his fist, then slowly uncurled it. He took a deep breath, then held out his hand. 

 

“You good?” Jeremy nodded, grabbing his hand. They both stood, Michael wrapping Jeremy in a hug. Jeremy cuddled into his chest, tilting his head so that it was tucked comfortably underneath Michael’s chin. After about twenty seconds, Michael asked, “Do you wanna go to the nurse?” Jeremy scoffed.

  
“Way to ruin the mood, Michael.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, writing the transphobic people: yikes i hate this so much
> 
> Seriously I hated writing those people they gave me the willies and made me feel blegh
> 
> Is there anything you want to see, or any requests? Let me know in the comments! Thank you!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jfc when i wake up on my birthday im not going to think ‘oh cool its my birthday’ its probably gonna be something like 'Washington led his troops out of Valley Forge today God bless America’

Jeremy knew this wasn’t a good idea. His top surgery was in one week, but he was looking up horror stories about failed top surgeries. He had tried to convince himself to not look at those kind of stories, but his curiosity got the better of him. 

 

He was lying on his back, phone held up over his face. His eyes were wide as he clicked another story. He was trembling a bit from the last story when Michael came in. 

 

“Hey Jeremy. Whatcha looking at?” He asked, flopping down on his stomach by Jeremy. His eyes caught the bright screen Jeremy was reading on, so he tilted his head to see the article better. After about thirty seconds, though, his eyebrows furrowed. “Jere, what are you doing?” Michael plucked the phone from his grip, turning it off. Jeremy shrugged.

 

“W-well, my top surgery is in a week, so I just-” he made a vague gesture with his hands, letting his arms fall on his stomach. He sighed. “What if- what if something  _ happens _ , Michael? What if I bleed out or flatline or something?” Michael shrugged.

 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, don’t worry.” Michael said, clearly trying to lighten the mood. Jeremy rolled his eyes.

 

“Not funny, Michael.” Jeremy groaned, turning his head away from Michael. He was pouting when Michael spoke up again. 

 

“Hey, it’ll be fine. There’s a  _ lot  _ more success stories of top surgeries than failed ones, right?” Jeremy shrugged, looking back at him.

 

“I-I guess.” Jeremy said, then sighed. “Still, what if?” Michael batted the top of his hair with his hand.

 

“Jere, we aren’t thinking of the what if’s. All I know is that you are getting top surgery, and it’s gonna be successful. Alright?” Jeremy shrugged, rolling onto his side to face his friend.

  
“Alright.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got any requests? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Thank you!!


	18. Rich is a good friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit 100 comments on my first work!! Thsnk you all so much!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are so thirsty for angst seriously

_ {Tuesday, January 13 at 7:12 PM}  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: jeremy’s surgery went well _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: hooray!! _

 

_ Bisexuality: surgery? _

 

_ Valentino: jeremy had top surgery _

 

_ Bisexuality: ohh _

 

_ JaketheCake: awesome! _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: hes in some pain but hes good _

 

_ JennaMarbles: congrats jeremy! _

 

_ Pinkyberry: ye!! _

 

_ JerryHeere: immm heeere _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: dUDE _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: i lEAVE FOR FIVE MINUTES AND YOU GRAB YOUR FREAKING PHONE  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: pUT THE PHONE DOWN AND NO ONE GETS HURT _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: jeremy, are you okay? _

 

_ JerryHeere: imm goood  _

 

_ JerryHeere: theres a bunch of ppain medds inside of me rn so _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: ugh _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: just dont move your arms _

 

_ Bisexuality: why cant he move his arms??  _

 

_ JerryHeere: my scars wouldnt bbe so prminit  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: *prominent _

 

_ JerryHeere: thannks  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: is your chest hurting you? _

 

_ JerryHeere: a bit _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: kk ill get you some pills _

 

_ Bisexuality has sent a private message to Michaelinthebedroom _

 

_ Bisexuality: dude _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: what?? _

 

_ Bisexuality: dUDE _

 

_ Bisexuality: you two aRE SO GAY FOR EACHOTHER _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: thIS ISNT GAY _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: THIS IS JUST ME TAKING CARE OF MY FRIEND _

 

_ Bisexuality: *boyfriend _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: screw you _

 

_ JerryHeere to Pining Pals™  _

 

_ JerryHeere: why is the chat ??? _

 

_ Pinkyberry: thats what i was thinking  _

 

_ Bisexuality has changed the chat name to SQUIP SQUAD  _

 

_ JaketheCake: riCH WE DISCUSSED THIS _

 

_ Bisexuality: SQUIP SQUAD _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: pfft _

 

_ JerryHeere: i like it  _

 

_ Bisexuality: hAHA THANK YOU JEREMY _

 

_ JaketheCake: HIS OPINION DOESNT COUNT HES HIGH AS SHIT _

 

_ JerryHeere: heyy _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: okay you all im going to bed _

 

_ JerryHeere: night christiiiiiine  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: night babes <3  _

 

_ Valentino: night _

 

_ {Saturday, January 17th at 3:34 AM} _

 

_ JerryHeere: h ee lpp  _

 

_ JerryHeere: i ccantt b rea thee  _

 

_ JerryHeere: it hu rtts  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: jeremy??  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: whats wrong? _

 

_ JerryHeere: ii cannt bre a the _

 

_ JerryHeere: my ch es st hUrts _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: holy shit  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: im calling 911 _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: just stay calm, jeremy _

 

_ JerryHeere: it hu rts chrisyine _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: i know babe, just try to breathe _

 

_ JerryHeere: i caan tt _

 

_ JerryHeere: h ee lpp mee _

 

_ {Thursday, June 17th at 12:34 PM}  _

 

_ Bisexuality: holy fuck is heere okay?? _

 

_ Valentino: oh god _

 

_ JennaMarbles: good god, is he okay? _

 

_ Pinkyberry: what happened??  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: some complications with his surgery, i think michael knows _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: yeah he had a pretty big subdermal hematoma on the right side of his chest  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: so they did emergency surgery to clean it out and shit _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: he’ll be fine _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: are you okay, michael? _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: yeah im fine _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: just a bit shaken _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: hes passed out rn but hes fine _

 

_ Bisexuality: thats good _

 

_ JennaMarbles: poor guy :( _

 

_ Pinkyberry: yea :(( _

 

_ JaketheCake: michaels sHOOK _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: really jake _

 

_ JennaMarbles: was that necessary jake? _

 

_ JaketheCake: sorry just wanted to,,, lighten the mood _

 

_ JaketheCake has left the chat  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom has added JaketheCake to the chat _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: its fine jake i see what you were trying to do _

 

_ JaketheCake: alright _

 

_ Bisexuality has sent a private message to Michaelinthebedroom  _

 

_ Bisexuality: are you sure youre okay?? Youre acting off _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: im fine  _

 

_ Bisexuality: that usually means youre not fine _

 

_ Bisexuality: you can tell me dude, i wont judge _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: just _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: when i got there he was crying and begging for it to stop and _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: he was so pale and shit _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: he looked me right in the eyes and said ‘please make it stop’ and i  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: it was so scary  _

 

_ Bisexuality: shit dude _

 

_ Bisexuality: thats fucked up that you had to go through that _

 

_ Bisexuality: just _

 

_ Bisexuality: wow _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: sorry for completely wasting your time with my rant _

 

_ Bisexuality: !! No!! _

 

_ Bisexuality: you didnt waste my time dude _

 

_ Bisexuality: thanks for telling me _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: youre welcome _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: i guess _

  
_ Bisexuality: //fingerguns// no problem _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any requests? Tell me down in the comments! Thank you!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 20!! Holy crap!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been to Pride, so sorry if its not realistic!

Jeremy was bouncing in his seat as Michael pulled into a parking spot. His hands were tapping his knee crazily, and a wide smile was spread across his face. Michael turned off his car, and Jeremy bolted out of the car.

 

“We’re here!” Jeremy shrieked, dancing in a small circle. Michael smiled as he went by his friend’s side.

 

“Calm down Jere- Bwuh!” Michael squawked as Jeremy grabbed his wrist and started dragging him along. His excitement was contagious; Michael and he started to drag each other along in a silent competition. 

Once they got into the crowd, Jeremy made a beeline towards the trans positivity area. Michael tried to release his wrist from Jeremy’s death grip, failing miserably. 

 

“Jeremy, can I please be released?” Jeremy turned to face him.

 

“Why?” Michael shrugged.

 

“I wanna go to the gay positivity section, you know.” He said, watching a blush flush Jeremy’s cheeks. 

 

“O-oh, I- uh-” Michael immediately realized it was the wrong thing to say. He waved his hand frantically in a ‘forget about it’ motion. 

 

“Dude, I’m just kidding, it’s fine. We can go later.” Jeremy blinked.

 

“Are you sure?” Michael nodded.

 

“Completely.” Jeremy smiled again, the kind of smile that made Michael feel all bubbly and nice and giddy inside. 

 

_ Wait. Fuck. Not now, gay thoughts. Think those when you get to the gay positivity section.  _

 

Jeremy finally released his hand when he was at the stand where a nice-looking couple were selling shirts that said  _ FtM trans and proud  _ on them, with the transgender flag coloring the words. Jeremy was swept up in a conversation with one of the guys, the other leaning towards Michael.

 

“Is he your boyfriend?” The man asked, his head gesturing towards Jeremy. Michael choked on air, starting to blush. 

 

“N-no! We’re just friends.” Michael said, his voice squeaking a bit. Still, a fluttering started in his stomach when he heard the word ‘boyfriend.’ The man raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Are you sure?” Michael nodded frantically. The man laughed. “I’m just kidding, kid. It’s fine if you’re just an ally or something.” Michael shook his head.

 

“No, I’m actually gay. Me and my friend both wanted to come really badly.” The man chuckled again.

 

“Ah, I see. Well, I’ll leave you two to it.” Michael noticed that Jeremy had bought one of the shirts, and that he was standing right by him. “Have fun, you two!” The man called as they walked away. 

 

Jeremy pulled on his shirt, wiggling his head through the top until it popped through. His eyes were bright as he looked at Michael.

 

“What were you and him talking about?” Michael shrugged.

 

“Meh, just what my sexuality was.” Jeremy tilted his head to the side a bit. 

 

“Are you comfortable with that?” He asked, sounding quite concerned. Michael scoffed.

 

“Uh,  _ duh,  _ I’m at a Pride Parade. I’m gonna be like that one picture that says, ‘Move, I’m gay.’” Jeremy giggled. 

 

“Ooh, look! There’s the gay pride!” Jeremy suddenly said, pointing towards another area. Michael fist-pumped in the air. 

 

“My people!” He cheered, half-running and half-skipping towards the area. Jeremy started running after him, laughing wildly.

 

After an hour of walking around together, it happened again. A girl with the pansexual flag painted on her cheek skipped up to the two, tapping Michael on his shoulder. She bounced up on her toes to reach his ear, and said, 

 

“You and your boyfriend are really cute together!” Michael let out a strangled noise. He was suddenly extremely aware of his and Jeremy’s hands being linked together.

 

“H-he’s not- I mean, we’re not-” The girl’s hand fluttered to her mouth. 

 

“Oh! I’m so sorry, I-” Michael shook his head.

 

“It’s fine, really.” 

 

“Are you sure?” Michael nodded and smiled.

 

“Yeah.” The girl smiled back, then started to bounce towards another girl, kissing her on the cheek when she reached her.

 

By some miracle, Jeremy didn't hear a word of their conversation. He was looking around with wide, bright eyes. Michael noticed a few freckles dotting his cheeks. He felt the fluttery feeling come back.

 

Yep. He was definitely crushing on his best friend.  _ Fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am definitely drawing Jeremy in his amazing shirt soon that is a given
> 
> Got any requests? Tell me in the comment section!! Thank you!!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> //crawls out of a hole// heyyy
> 
> Sorry, birthday celebrations, then my freaking mental illness got in the way brsganfgs
> 
> BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I GOT THE DEAR EVAN HANSEN CD!! :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy suffers from some dysphoria, so if you don't want to read that, you don't have too!!

_JennaMarbles has sent a private message to JerryHeere_

 

_JennaMarbles: hey jemery_

 

_JerryHeere: hey jenna_

 

_JennaMarbles: you know how you're trans, right?_

 

_JerryHeere: kinda hard to forget_

 

_JennaMarbles: you're a sassy little one aren't you_

 

_JerryHeere: :))_

 

_JennaMarbles: well_

 

_JennaMarbles: I'm just gonna come out and say it_

 

_JennaMarbles: I'm trans too_

 

_JerryHeere: //squawking//_

 

_JerryHeere: really????_

 

_JerryHeere: are you FtM?? Or MtF??_

 

_JennaMarbles: MtF :)_

 

_JerryHeere: holy cow_

 

_JerryHeere: hoLY COW_

 

_JennaMarbles: so if you ever feel dysphoric, you can just tell me if Michael can't do it for some reason_

 

_JerryHeere: thanks!! I will_

 

_JennaMarbles: :))_

 

_{Tuesday, August 9, at 3:57 AM}_

 

_JerryHeere: hey jenna_

 

_JerryHeere: I know you're not awake right now so I'm just gonna rant_

 

_JerryHeere: sometimes I don't feel like a boy_

 

_JerryHeere: am I even a boy?_

 

_JerryHeere: sometimes I remember what some people say about trans people and just_

 

_JerryHeere: are they right?_

 

_JennaMarbles: Jeremy oh my god_

 

_JerryHeere: sorry_

 

_JennaMarbles: no!! I'm not angry, I promise._

 

_JennaMarbles: are you more comfortable with your body after top surgery?_

 

_JerryHeere: ...yeah_

 

_JennaMarbles: and don't you just hate it when people use your dead name?_

 

_JerryHeere: yeah_

 

_JennaMarbles: and are you a boy?_

 

_JerryHeere: yeah..?_

 

_JennaMarbles: then, sweetie, you ARE a boy._

 

_JerryHeere: ok_

 

_JennaMarbles: ask Michael, for crying out loud_

 

_JerryHeere: why?_

 

_JennaMarbles: because Michael_

 

_JennaMarbles: well_

 

_JennaMarbles: he would die for you_

 

_JennaMarbles: and he says that you are a boy_

 

_JennaMarbles: and you are!!_

 

_JerryHeere: thanks jenna_

 

_JerryHeere: I feel a lot better now :)_

 

_JennaMarbles: you're welcome :D_

 

_JennaMarbles: now go_ _to bed!!_

 

_JerryHeere: yes ma'am :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got any requests? Let me know in the comments below!! 
> 
> It's gonna take a while for me to do them because my phone has been lost for a few days now, but I'll try to do them ASAP :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theres one sentence talking about self-inflicted scars, but it's really quick. You don't have to read it if you don't want too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to Michael Pining For Jeremiah Heere

Michael had been staring at Jeremy for about 4 minutes and 2, 3, 4 seconds. Was that too long? Was he being creepy? No one seemed to notice.

 

 _Seriously,_ how Jeremy made him feel must have been illegal. That boy made him feel all bubbly and nice and happy inside-  _fuck._ He did it again. He really needed to stop. Just like that meme.  _It's time to stop, Michael Mell. He's never gonna feel the same way._

 

He didn't even remember when he started staring at Jeremy. All of a sudden, Rich was flirting with Jake, Brooke and Jenna were making out, and Christine was gagging at it all.  _Must be nice to not have crushes._ Christine would never feel like this. 

 

Or would she? How did being aroace even work? She had said herself that she didn't have crushes or libido, so she must be right, right? 

 

_Its time to stop, Michael Mell. He's never gonna feel the same way._

 

Or would he? Jeremy had said himself that he was bisexual, and bisexuality was like a black and white cookie. Half straight, half gay. Is that how it works?

 

Jeremy giggled, and Michael felt his heart stop. It was this childish, hiccuping little thing that ended in a small snort. It would be cringey with anyone except Jeremy. He had that laugh ever since kindergarten. 

 

People always think that that laugh was his laugh whenever he found something super, super funny. It wasn't.  _That_ laugh was when Jeremy was laughing so hard that he didn't make any sound, until he had to breath in, which was a short, heavy gasp. 

 

Only Michael ever succeeded at unlocking that laugh. When he did, the first time, he was worried that Jeremy was having a asthma attack. Which was weird, because Jeremy doesn't have asthma. 

 

Give him a break. He was ten. 

 

_It's time to stop, Michael Mell. He's never gonna feel the same way._

 

Michael downed another shot of tequila. It was straight, unlike him, and it burned going down. There was a reason he got stoned instead of getting drunk. However, the Squip Squad, (Rich had annoyed them all into calling themselves that) only had drinks and cups instead of blunts. 

 

Jeremy was now tracing the scars on his wrists. When he showed Michael the first time, his breath stopped. For one terrifying, panic-inducing moment, Michael though they were self-inflicted. But Jeremy quickly put those fears to rest, saying that they were the Squip's fault. 

 

Michael's fear subsided into anger. But what was he supposed to do about it? The Squip was gone. He couldn't just  _punch_ the thing. Punching the Squip would mean punching Jeremy. And Michael could never,  _ever_ do that.

 

_It's time to stop, Michael Mell. He's never gonna feel the same way._

 

Michael had heard before that Denial was a river in Egypt. Instead of swimming in it, he was practically drowning in it. There was a rock tied to his ankle, and he couldn't get rid of it. 

 

He downed another shot of tequila.

 

_You'll never be with Jeremiah Heere._

 

_It's time to stop, Michael Mell. He's never gonna feel the same way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone from the BMC cast reads this or sees it I swear to god
> 
> Anything you want to see? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A thrilling sequel to Michael Pining About Jeremiah Heere
> 
> Jeremiah Heere Pining About Michael Mell
> 
> Jeremy has a lot of self-depicrating thoughts and he romanticizes Michael a lot, so you don't have to read that if you don't want too!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy considers himself 'not a real boy' in this chapter, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to!

Jeremy buried his face into his pillow. He had just come from the SQUIP squad party, _(seriously,_ _Rich was so irritating about naming it that)_ and he couldn't stop thinking about Michael.

 

Michael had gotten extremely drunk, even more than Chloe, which was a surprise. Michael was a light weight, so he had nearly passed out when the two left. Jeremy didn't have that much to drink, other than a rum and cola, which wasn't even that good. Jake had lied to him.

 

His friend had mumbled something about bisexuality being like a black and white cookie, which, now that he thought about it, did make some sense. Michael was always making these strange comparisons.

 

But, God, Jeremy wanted to  _kiss_ him. Kiss him senseless, so hard that Michael was dazed. But, then, Michael would lean forward again, pull him closer, and- no. No, bad brain, coming up with dirty images. Jeremy groaned and buried his head underneath his pillow, as if he could shield himself from the gay thoughts. 

 

 _Gay._ The word rang through Jeremy's mind. He could've laughed with the ridiculousness of his pining. Michael wouldn't want _him_. Who was he kidding?

 

He wasn't even a real boy. He had a vagina and, until recently, boobs. A gay guy wouldn't want that. Not for the first time, Jeremy cursed his body for not having a flat chest and a dick.

 

Besides, Michael deserved better. Jeremy was  _mean._ At the Halloween party, for example. He had called Michael a loser, when, in reality, Michael was gold. Jeremy was dirt. Michael deserved the heavens, while Jeremy deserved the bugs in the ground.

 

Michael was perfect. Jeremy was broken. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet y'all didn't notice my two Outsiders references wahaha
> 
> Got any requests? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you!!


	23. Jeremy's mother part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are so thirsty for angst,,,, drink some water
> 
> Also PS my dad called yee
> 
> I also got a Stitch shirt!! I am so happy,,,, so happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be in two parts!!
> 
> Jeremy's mom accidentally misgenders him, so you don't have to read that if you don't want too!!

Jeremy stared at the phone in his hands. The number was unknown to his phone, but in his mind it was seared in.

 

_Unknown number: hey miss joanna. Its your mom. How's it going, sweetheart?_

 

A ball formed in his throat before he swallowed it down. _She didn't know,_ he reminded himself.  _She left before you came out._ He started typing a response, but not before changing his name.

 

_JoanieHeere: hey mom. I'm doing good! How are you?_

 

_Unknown number: I'm doing well, Honey. Are you still hanging out with that Mitchell boy?_

 

_JoanieHeere: it's Michael. And yeah, I am. He's really nice._

 

_Unknown number: is he cute?_

 

Jeremy scoffed. "Of course you ask that." 

 

_JoanieHeere: yeah. I guess so._

 

_Unknown number: do you like him?_

 

If Jeremy had water in his mouth, he would've spit it out. 

 

"You just reentered my life. Why do you need to know this?" He hissed, his grip tightening on the phone. 

 

_JoanieHeere: mom! No!_

 

_Unknown number: I'm kidding, darling. Hey, I'm in town next week! Do you want to maybe hang out?_

 

_JoanieHeere: let me ask dad. He would like to see you, you know. He misses you._

 

_Unknown number: well, I don't miss him. But I'll say hi._

 

And just like that, his mother became stone cold. Even though the message wasn't aimed at him, he still felt a jab go through his heart. He sighed, put down the phone, and went to talk with his dad.

 

_JoanieHeere:_ _dad says sure. Any day is fine._

 

_Unknown number: fantastic! Is Thursday good?_

 

_JoanieHeere: yeah, Thursdays great._

 

_Unknown number: alright miss girl. See you then!_

 

There it was. The infamous 'miss girl.' Jeremy flinched at the sight. He knew that it was his moms favorite term of endearment, but it still stung. He quickly texted Michael.

 

_JoanieHeere: mom texted_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: oh no_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: is that why your name changed?_

 

_JoanieHeere: crap_

 

_JoanieHeere has changed their name to JerryHeere_

 

_JerryHeere: that's better_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: what are you gonna do?_

 

_JerryHeere: I'm hanging out with her on Thursday. I'll just explain my flat chest and shit as genetic mistakes_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: sounds good. Good luck._

 

_JerryHeere: thanks. I'll need it._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you want to see? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you!


	24. Jeremy's mother part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second part geez Louise
> 
> The actual excursion will happen next chapter! I promise!!

It was Tuesday, two days before Jeremy had to go and hang out with his mom. He had been talking with Michael, and they had decided to ask Jeremy's mom if Michael could go with the two. Jeremy went to he and his moms chat.

 

_JerryHeere: hey mom, can Michael come with us?_

 

His heart stopped when he realized that he hadn't changed his name. He quickly did. 

 

_Mom: Michael? I guess so, if his parents agree._

 

_Mom: why was your name like that?_

 

_JoanieHeere: it was a nickname my friends gave me_

 

_Mom: I see._

 

His heart slowed a bit. He texted Michael.

 

_JoanieHeere: she says sure_

 

_JoanieHeere: wait crap_

 

_JoanieHeere has changed their name to JerryHeere_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom:  N I C E_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: I'll be over for a sleepover on Wednesday_

 

_JerryHeere: awesome_

 

At least his friend was coming with him. That was good.

 

{Wednesday} 

 

Michael and Jeremy were smashing buttons as they played  _Apocolypse of the Damned 2._ When they lost yet again, Michael threw his controller down. He slumped against the beanbag he had hauled over to Jeremy's house, pouting. 

 

"It's not fair." He finally said, grabbing a coke. Jeremy also set his controller down, however with more care.

 

"What's not fair? The game?" Jeremy asked, leaning his head on his hand. Michael scoffed.

 

"Well, yeah the game. But also with your mom." Jeremy's small smile dropped. He sighed, looking down at the ground. "I mean, it's not fair you have to hide who you are-" 

 

"Michael-" 

 

"And have to be misgendered and just  _take it-"_

 

"Please, Michael-" 

 

"And to go shopping for-" 

 

"Shut  _up!"_ Jeremy suddenly screamed, bolting up to face Michael. "Don't you think I know this? That I'm dreading this as much as you are? Huh?" He yelled, getting right in Michael's face. Michael looked shocked. "Even worse, I'm gonna have to be the one to actually take it! Please, Michael," he finally said, tears slowly filling his eyes. " _I don't want to talk about it._ " Michael looked like a fish for a moment, his eyes wide and his mouth open. 

 

After a few minutes, Michael slowly nodded. Jeremy wiped the tears out of his eyes, sniffing a bit.

 

"Okay. We won't talk about it." Michael said, pushing his glasses up his nose. Jeremy smiled, then lunged towards Michael, tackling him in a hug. 

 

"Thank you." He whispered. Michael went stiff, but then wrapped his arms around Jeremy, squeezing tightly. Michael started humming. 

 

Jeremy started to drift off, but was wide awake when he heard Michael whisper something so softly that he almost missed it.

 

" _Mahal Kita,_ Jeremy." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooOOHHHHHHHHH SHIT
> 
> Anything you want to see? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you!


	25. Jeremy's mom part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all 'Song Of Alexander' updated today and I am. W he e z i n g

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its happening folks, your worst nightmare
> 
> Same warnings as the last two chapters! Jeremys mom does misgender him and uses his dead name, so you don't have to read that if you don't want too!

{Thursday at 8 AM}

 

Jeremy decided to wear a skirt. After some discussion with Michael, he agreed. Besides, it was hot out. Skirts were nice for that kind of weather.

 

Jeremy's thoughts were still rolling from the night before, with the whole _Mahal Kita_ thing. Michael wasn't mentioning it, so Jeremy decided to not bring it up. He had fallen asleep about thirty minutes afterwards, followed by Michael. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't just say,  _hey, Michael, I heard you say 'I love you' in Tagalong, mind telling me why? Thanks!_

 

Yeah. He wasn't about to risk it. When your friends with someone for almost 13 years, you grow somewhat attached to them. 

 

So there was some tenseness, with both Jeremy's mom visiting and the boys thinking about their argument the night before.

 

There was a funny moment despite all of the before-hand tension, though. Funny for Michael, at least. Jeremy had been sitting on his bed, texting in the group chat with his legs open, feet touching. 

 

What? It was comfortable. 

 

Anyways, Michael decided to throw a goddamn _Starbucks_ thermos full of coffee at him.

 

Guess where it landed. It landed right where it hurt. Cue Jeremy squealing, rolling onto his side, curling up, and screaming  _"You cracked my vagina, you dick!"_ At Michael, who was cackling. 

 

Mr. Heere, who could sleep through an atomic bomb explosion, had woken up also, heard the story, and found it humorous, to the humiliation of Jeremy.

 

{12 PM} 

 

A car pulled up in the driveway. When Jeremy heard the engine rev, he tensed. Michael placed a calming hand on his bicep, exchanging glances with Jeremy. They had been watching  _Anastasia,_ but paused it when they heard a car door close. They both stood and walked into the kitchen, where the front door was. 

 

Jeremys mom knocked. He answered the door. 

 

"Joanie!" His mom cried, pulling him into a hug. He tried to stop himself from tensing, saying,

 

"Hi, mom." Michael was standing awkwardly, fidgeting a bit with his hands. Jeremy's mom then caught sight of him. She smiled, but it was coldly professional. She held out a hand for Michael to shake. 

 

"Hello, Michael."

 

"Hi, Miss Heere. How are you?" He said, his smile a bit dimmed. However, it was clear that Jeremy's mother was impressed.

 

"I'm doing well, thank you." She then turned back to Jeremy, her smile brightening up again. "Shall we go?" Jeremy nodded. 

 

"Sure. Dad is sleeping, so I- yeah."  _Where was he going to do with that?_  

 

They headed to the car, with Jeremy's mom driving, Jeremy in shot gun, and Michael behind him. The air in the car was tense as they drove out. After Jeremy buckled his seatbelt, he slumped a bit. His mother caught sight of it.

 

"Miss girl, you shouldn't slouch. It's not good for your posture." Feeling a bit defiant, Jeremy slumped down a bit more before sitting up. Michael let out an amused snort. Jeremy's mom rolled her eyes.  

 

Jeremy took his phone out and opened the group chat. They were all discussing a Disney movie, something called  _Queen Of Katwe._

 

_Bisexuality: then all of a sudden_

 

_Bisexuality: flABAMO_

 

_Bisexuality: her little brother is hit by a bota-bota, or whatever they're called_

 

_JaketheCake: blood everywhere_

 

_JennaMarbles: are you sure this is a Disney movie??_

 

 _Pinkyberry: it says its a Disney_ _movie_

 

_JoanieHeere: Disney is growing darker by the minute_

 

_Dramaticgirl: Jeremy!!_

 

_Valentino: why is your name like that??_

 

_JoanieHeere: my mom_

 

_JennaMarbles: ohh_

 

_Pinkberry: are you gonna tell her?_

 

_JoanieHeere: is anime made in China?_

 

_Bisexuality: you weeABOO_

 

_JoanieHeere: excuse you, I am a otaku_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: you only watch hentai don't lie to me_

 

_JennaMarbles: KINKSHAMING_

 

Jeremy snorted. His mom looked over at him, but didn't say anything. 

 

{1 pm} 

 

They finally arrived at the mall. When they entered it, Michael flinched a bit, then put his headphones on. Jeremy's mother looked over at him, raised an eyebrow, then asked Jeremy,

 

"Whats the matter with him?" 

 

"He has social anxiety, mom." She 'goff'ed under her breath. Jeremy's eye twitched.

 

"If he has  _social_ _anxiety,_ why did he come? Thats a bit stupid, don't you think?" Jeremy's eye twitched again. His chest constricted in anger. Before he could tell her off, however, Michael tugged on his sleeve. 

 

"Dude, look! A video game store!" Jeremy looked where Michael was pointing, then grinned widely. Before they could head off together, though, Jeremy felt a hand wrap around his bicep and tighten uncomfortably. 

 

"Michael, why don't you look around in there for a bit, and meet us at the food court?" Jeremy glared at his mom, getting a nasty look in response. "Don't look at me like that, young lady." Michael realized he made a mistake. Before he could fix it, however, Jeremy snapped back,

 

"But, mom, I  _like_ video games." Bythe look on her face, it looked like he had just admitted to watching porn. 

 

"It isn't proper for a girl to like those." She said. Before he could reply, she added, "We are _not_ discussing this now." Michael watched the whole exchange with a look of increasing discomfort on his face. When there was a break in the conversation, he quickly said,

 

"Actually, I don't need to look in there. I already have all the games that have came out, so, yeah, I'm good." Jeremy's mom raised an eyebrow suspiciously. But, she did let him tag along, even if Jeremy did see him look longingly back at the store.

 

{2 PM}

 

They did stop at the food court, where Jeremy was stirring some melted ice cream around with his spoon. His mom was rambling about something, probably a spiel about when she was Jeremy's age.

 

"You know, I  _loved_ going shopping at your age, I just can't understand why you don't like it, Joanie." Yep. He was right. Jeremy stopped making random curlicues in his ice cream. 

 

"Well, I'm not you, mom." He said, giving her a tight-lipped smile. Michael snorted, but hid it with a cough. She looked offended, but hid it expertly.

 

"I understand that. I just- I need to go to the restroom, excuse me." She quickly left. When she was out of ear shot, Jeremy proceeded to mimic her, complete with moving his hand in a talking motion and repeating her lines in a high-pitched voice.

 

"I  _loved_ going shopping, Nyah Nyah Nyah." This time, Michael didn't hide his laugh. "Thats all I heard. Nyah Nyah Nyah." 

 

"Trust me, I know." Michael said. There was a small, awkward silence before Michael spoke up again. "I don't remember her being like...  _this,_ you know?" Jeremy looked curiously at him. "I remember her being really nice and sweet to us. Nothing like this."

 

"We were nine, Michael. Now that we're older, I guess she can show her true colors."

 

"Or she's Squipped." Jeremy snorted.

 

"Conspiracy Theory: My mother is being controlled by a SQUIP. Find out more at 4." They both laughed.

 

"I'm holding you to that 4 thing. I want to hear more about this." 

 

{3 PM} 

 

They had decided to wander around a bit more, seeing as they had to leave by 3:30. Thankfully, Jeremy had convinced his mother to not drag him to a super girly store, with no help from Michael. It was an accomplishment he held in high regard.

 

However, they weren't in a store right now. Both Jeremy and Michael were in the bathroom at the moment, with Michael trying to calm his anxiety down and Jeremy being emotional support. They had been there for about thirteen minutes when Jeremy's mom texted him, asking them what was taking so long in a particularly nasty tone. Jeremy muted his phone without marking the text read.

 

"Are you okay?" Jeremy asked. Michael shrugged.

 

"A little better than when we walked in. I'll be good in a few minutes." Jeremy nodded, then looked down at his chest. 

 

Despite Jeremy's initial desire to tell his mother that his flat chest was a genetic mistake, he and Michael had taken one of his old sports bras, stuffed socks into it, and made it so it looked like Jeremy had a chest. It looked like one of the socks had moved, so Jeremy slipped inside a stall to adjust it. 

 

When Jeremy walked back out, Michael looked a lot better. Jeremy washed his hands, humming under his breath. When he was done, he turned towards Michael. 

 

"Do I look good?" Michael raised an eyebrow. "You know what I mean." Michael grinned and nodded.

 

"Yeah, they- I mean, you look good." Jeremy swatted his arm in mock anger.

 

"You're nasty."

 

"You sound like Brooke." Jeremy jokingly mimic'ed him before turning serious again.

 

"So, I do look girlish enough?" Michael gave him a thumbs up.

 

"Seriously, though. If you were a girl, I'd motorboat you." Jeremy snorted loudly.

 

"Would you?"

 

"Yeah. I'd motorboat the fuck out of you." Jeremy rolled his eyes. "No homo, though."

 

"Mm-hmm?" Jeremy started to head out of the bathroom. Michael followed him, repeating his last statement. 

 

"No homo."

 

"Yeah, sure. No homo." 

 

{3:45} 

 

The party of 3 had left the mall, and were now heading for Jeremy's house. All was going well, until a commercial for Pride came on. Both Jeremy and Michael listened closely, until Jeremy's mom turned it to another channel.

 

"I just don't get Pride Parades. Why do you want to celebrate something with a bunch of people you don't even know? Besides, its a weird thing to celebrate." Michael spoke up.

 

"Actually, Mrs. Heere, Pride is really important for people of the LGBT+ community. Theres all these horrible people who would not hesitate to bring down the LGBT+ people, so when they go to these Pride Parades, they finally can feel accepted by other people with the same sexuality, or the same troubles." Jeremy nodded.

 

"Yeah. Our- Yeah." Mrs. Heere's nostrils flared, a sure sign she was getting angry.

 

"I accept the LGBT community, I just don't want to see it." Jeremy opened his mouth to retort, but closed it when Michael kicked his seat. Michael then shot the group chat a text.

 

_Michaelinthebathroom: 'I support the LGBT community, I just don't want to see it'_ _Jeremy's mom 2k17_

 

_JennaMarbles: OH MY GOD_

 

_Pinkyberry: she said that??_

 

_JoanieHeere: yeppers_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: Jeremy next time we see your mom lets act as gay as possible_

 

_JoanieHeere: good plan_

 

The car pulled into the drive way. Michael got out when it stopped, but Jeremy stayed in the car. He hugged his mom from over the separation between the two, her kissing his forehead.

 

"Bye, miss girl. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

 

"Okay. Bye, mom."

 

"Bye."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahah
> 
> You're probably wondering why I updated so oddly
> 
> I didn't have time to finish the chapter this morning but I didn't want to lose my progress
> 
> So yeah sorry about that
> 
> Anything you want to see? Let me know in the comments below!
> 
> Thank you!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In other words Cyrus Goodman is super gay for Jonah Beck
> 
> I love Andi Mack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Texting chapter

_PinkyBerry to SQUIP SQUAD_

 

_PinkyBerry: did any of you hear the news?_

 

_JennaMarbles: no, what is it??_

 

_PinkyBerry: you know Jonah Beck from math class, right??_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: yeah, he's pretty cool_

 

_JerryHeere: he plays ultimate frisbee, right?_

 

_PinkyBerry: yeah, prepare for a long text_

 

_PinkyBerry: so Andi Mack from gym was crushing pretty hard on him in the beginning of the year, but since he was dating Amber, she_ _didn't make a move on him. HOWEVER, he broke up with Amber a few weeks ago, leaving him single. So Andi wants to ask him out. BUT, guess who also has a crush on him??_

 

_JaketheCake: we are waiting in tense acceptation_

 

_PinkyBerry: CYRUS GOODMAN FROM ART!!_

 

_JennaMarbles: HOLY COW!!_

 

_Dramaticgirl: aw, thats so cute! They would make a cute couple!_

 

_PinkyBerry: I'm getting to something like that. So, after Cyrus pining after him for almost as long as Andi, Cyrus walks up to him in the cafeteria. Poor babe is nervous. He walks up behind Jonah, saying,_

 

_PinkyBerry: 'I like you a lot, Jonah. Would you maybe, I don't know, go to a movie with me?' EXACT. WORDS._

 

_JerryHeere: i fail to see why this is a big deal_

 

_JennaMarbles: shshshshhsh romance_

 

_PinkyBerry: and Jonah accepted!_

 

_Valentino: what about Andi? it seems like she would be kinda mad, you know, because Jonah is going out with Cyrus?_

 

_Bisexuality: doesn't Buffy have a crush on her?_

 

_JennaMarbles: I don't think Andi would be that mad. she seemed pretty happy when Jonah accepted. Cyrus looked like he might faint, though._

 

_Dramaticgirl: still, its adorable._

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: sweet_

 

_JerryHeere: where'd Jake go?_

 

_JaketheCake: hello_

 

_JaketheCake: its me_

 

_JaketheCake: but seriously me and this nine month baby thats related to me are staring each other down what do I do_

 

_Dramaticgirl: tap them on the arm while saying 'boop,' it always works._

 

_JaketheCake: HES LAUGHING IS THAT GOOD_

 

_Dramaticgirl: YES, VERY GOOD!!_

 

_JaketheCake: GOOD I WAS CONCERNED_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, sorry about that. I just needed some fluff.
> 
> Anything you want to see? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you for your sweet comments, they mean so much to me!!


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GEORGE SALAZAR HAS/HAD A BOYFRIEND IM SO PROUD OF HIM
> 
> IDK if they're still together but I'm still proud of my son

Michael was not reading. Nope, he was not. He only had  _The Help_ open as a alibi. He was definitely not enjoying the book, no sir. He did not cheer about Minnie's poop pie, or when Miss Skeeter decided to write about the help. No, he wasn't. 

 

_A bitter seed was planted in my chest. Ever since then, I just_ _wasn't as accepting as I was before._

 

He related to Abileen in that sentence. He was so jealous of Christine when she started dating Jeremy...

 

_"-See, when you turn up the heat, it means the waters happy."_

 

_"Are you happy, Minnie?"_

 

Was  _he_ happy?

 

Okay, fine. He was reading  _The Help._ Sue him.

 

Actually, don't. He didn't have any cash.

 

But he had just gotten to when Celia Foote was being taught how to cook when there was a big scream from the bathroom.

 

 _Jeremy's up,_ he thought. He first wanted to sit and finish the chapter. But, since he's a good friend and Jeremy's favorite person, he got up, flipped the book so that the pages were facing down and the spine was facing up, and went to the source of the screaming. 

 

"Whats the big deal, you _magaliw_?" Michael said as he opened the door. Jeremy was covering his mouth and chin with a hand, his eyes bright and happy. He turned to Michael, almost vibrating with excitement.

 

"Look!" His speech was muffled by his hand. But, once he removed it, Michael saw a big smile, and-

 

"Peach fuzz!" They said together. Jeremy squealed and jumped up and down, his excitement contagious. Michael was finally able to grab Jeremy's face in his hands, and, when he did so, looked closer. 

 

"Yep, there- there it is!" Jeremy squirmed in his grip, but when Michael looked into his eyes, he was struck.

 

Jeremy's eyes... There was no way to properly describe them. They were deep, swirling with emotions. There were so many colors in them, Michael couldn't pick one. One day, they were green, the next, they were blue.

 

After being frozen for a probably creepy amount of time, Michael let Jeremy's face go. Jeremy went humming out the door, swinging his arms the way Michael did. He did that when he was happy.

 

 _You is_ kind,  _you is_ smart,  _and you is_ important. How Michael wanted to whisper those words into Jeremy's ear. 

 

Okay, so he knew that by watching the movie. He was having a sentimental moment. Ssh.

 

_Its time to stop, Michael Mell._ _He's never gonna feel the same way._

 

Michael sighed, then walked out of the bathroom. He picked up  _The_ _Help_ again, ignoring Jeremy's playful teasing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magaliw- crazy
> 
> Those quotes from The Help... Sorry if they're not 100% accurate, I had to remember them from about six months ago.
> 
> Anything you want to see? Let me know in the comments below! I've ran out of requests! Thank you!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdfghjkl hello there
> 
> I don't think that theres any warnings for this chapter, but if you think there should be one, tell me! Thank you!!

Jeremy had been told by his dad one year ago that he would have Testosterone shipped in before he turned twelve.

 

He's twelve.

 

Give it.

 

Even though he understood why he didn't have it yet, he was still angry. He didn't  _like_ looking like a girl, didn't his dad get that? He didn't like being teased for his boyish haircut, even if Michael did stand up for him. It made him feel... Yucky, as Andi Mack, the girl in his sixth hour, would say. 

 

So, even if he did go through seventh grade health class, (traumatic experience, would not recommend) he still panicked one day when, when he went to the bathroom, he saw a dot of red. 

 

It wasn't a  _big_ spot of red, but, holy cow, it was red.  _Bright_ red. Was blood that red? 

 

He quickly pulled his pants up and dashed to his dads bedroom, scrambling up on his dad and flopping down hard. 

 

"Dad," he said, his voice shaky.

 

No response. 

 

"Dad." he tried again, this time shaking his shoulder a bit. 

 

Still no response. 

 

" _Dad!"_  He finally yelled, bopping the man on the forehead. He awoke with a groan, glaring at his son with bleary eyes.

 

"Wheres the fire?" He said, sarcasm dripping from his tone. Note to Jeremy: his dad was sarcastic in the morning. Luckily, Jeremy could fire something right back.

 

"I'm bleeding." His dad groaned again. 

 

"Do you have a paper cut?" 

 

"No. I'm bleeding from my vagina."

 

Who knew his dad could wake up and move that fast?

 

Next thing Jeremy knew, he was told to put some toilet paper in his pants, and his dad was out the door, off to buy... Whatever he was going to buy. 

 

Good. They were out of milk. Jeremy supposed he wanted something to keep blood from ruining his pants, but, really, he just wanted milk. He sent a quick text to his dad, telling him his request. His dad sent a picture of a gallon of milk, with the caption,  _happy?_ Jeremy responded,  _yes, I'm happy,_ _thank you._

 

He wanted to text Michael, but thought the better of it when he remembered Michaels reaction to blood. Who knew someone could actually faint by just _seeing_ it?

 

Besides, there were some things you kept to yourself, even from your best friend. He supposed Michael would figure it out, but Jeremy was going to let him do it on his own time.

 

His dad came back, saying,

 

"Where do these go?" 

 

"...My vagina?" His dad let out a very unmanly scream. 

 

" _Which cupboard?"_ Jeremy giggled and took the package of pads, throwing them into his closet, but taking out one. He put it on, then flopped on his bed to read  _The Outsiders._ Once he did, however, he yelled,

 

"Didya get the milk?" 

 

"Yes, sir!" 

 

"'Kay, just checking!''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao I laughed while writing this
> 
> Got anything you want to see? Any requests? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you!


	29. Jenna Needs To Leave Rich Alone (Spoiler Warning: She Doesn't)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To all the people who said chapter 29 was 'big mood' thank u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremys mom is back, so the same warnings as before!
> 
> This will be in two parts!

_JerryHeere: my mom is coming by soon_

_JerryHeere: like_

_JerryHeere: today_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: operation Gay is a go_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom has changed the chat name to Operation Gay_

 

_Bisexuality: //shakes my head// smh_

 

_JennaMarbles: rich you just put_

 

_JennaMarbles: //shakes my head// shake my head_

 

_Bisexuality: leave me aLONE JENNA_

 

_JennaMarbles: LEARN HOW TO TEXT TALK AND I WILL_

 

_Bisexuality: wELL JJEEZ I THOUGHT IT MEANT SO MUCH HATE_

 

_PinkyBerry: I used to leave really petty comments on random Celebrities pages on social media and I would put smh as so much hate but people started asking me why I was shaking my head at them_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom has changed the chat name to Operation LGBT+_

 

_Bisexuality: thank u_

 

_Michaelingthebedroom: //fingerguns// ayyy_

 

_JennaMarbles: michael knows how to text talk_

 

_Bisexuality: hhhhHHHHHHHH_

 

_Dramaticgirl: what are we doing exactly? Steaming Jeremys mom out with the LGBT+ community?_

 

_JerryHeere: pretty much_

 

_Dramaticgirl: ill bring snacks_

 

_JaketheCake: good to know that Christine is always on our side_

 

_JaketheCake: also this is gonna sound pretty gay but ben platt is amazing_

 

_Bisexuality: thats pretty gay_

 

_JaketheCake: you're pretty gay_

 

_Bisexuality: < read my name _

 

_JaketheCake: I have, its a nice name_

 

_JerryHeere: you two stop being petty to each other my mom is here_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: miCHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE ill be there in two shakes of a rabbits tail_

 

_JerryHeere: alright_

 

_Valentino: was the squip a lgbt+ member?_

 

_PinkyBerry: did the squip even have a gender_

 

_JennaMarbles: they're a non binary fellow leave them alone_

_Bisexuality: yeah no its genders are 'evil' and 'computer'_

 

_JennaMarbles: wasn't yours a muppet_

 

_Bisexuality: it seemed like a good idea at the time leave me alone jenna_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you want to see? Any requests? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I rewatched Inside Out last night and sobbed at /that/ scene with Bing Bong haha
> 
> I didn't even cry the first time I watched it only this time I did
> 
> Warnings uh,, same things with Jeremy's mom, and Michael does say queer, so if you don't like that, please tell me! I'll change it!!

Jeremy was in the car, along with his mom and Michael. Jenna had asked if she could come along, but then remembered her date with Brooke. Of course, she didn't mention  _that_ to his mom. 

 

Pity, too. His mother liked Jenna. 

 

Anyways, they were in the car, discussing 'Inside Out,' a Disney/Pixar movie. The only thing they didn't tell his mom was that the both of them cried with _that one scene_ with Bing Bong. They also didn't tell her that Michael had cried more. They were both stone-cold sober, too. Couldn't blame the weed on that one.  

 

At the moment, Michael was talking about when, in his English class, someone had randomly shouted, 'Who's your friend who loves to play?' And everyone, at the same time, had yelled back, 'Bing Bong Bing Bong!' Both of the boys were laughing, but his mom only let out a low chuckle. 

 

They pulled up at a Baskin Robbins, his mom saying, 

 

"I'm only going to be in town for two hours this time, okay, Joanna?" Jeremy hadn't been listening, so, when he heard his dead name, let out a grumble of gibberish that sounded suspiciously a lot like _Aloha 'Oe_. Don't know how  _that_ could happen, but new experiences are the best ones, right?

 

"H- She understands, Mrs. Heere." Michael said, cringing at the wrong pronoun he had to use. He  _hated_ this. Jeremy's mother turned to look at him, giving him a nasty look. 

 

"Thank you, Michael, but Joanna has to reply for herself." Jeremy let out a meek 'yes, ma'am.' They all got out of the car. Michael decided to launch  _Operation LGBT+._ Perfect timing, too, because Christine had texted him, saying,

 

_Dramaticgirl: steam the bitch out Michael._

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: got it_

\------

 

There was a couple in front of them. Jeremy recognized them from school, so he waved at them. The red haired girl didn't see him, but the blonde girl did. Jeremys mom asked him, 

 

"Who are those two?"

 

"Josephine and Alexandra." Jeremy replied. The two went to sit down. The three of them ordered then sat down by the girls.

 

"They're cuties." His mom said. Michael nearly snorted, but quickly shoved a shit-ton of ice cream in his mouth. The quick setting numbness helped him not laugh. "They look like good friends!"

 

"They're dating." Jeremy said in a monotone. His mom made a face.

 

"How do you know that? Can't they just be friends?"

 

"Mom. I go to school with them. Alexandra asked Josephine out three weeks ago." His mom scoffed. Michael felt anger start to build up.

 

"Thats strange." Michael sent a text to Jeremy.

 

 _Michaelinthebedroom_ :  _'thats strange' guess you could say its,,, queer_

_\--------_

 

It was all going well until it didn't go well. Jeremy didn't even barely know what happened.

 

Jeremys mom had said, "Joanna, I'm really happy you're a girl." Which made Jeremy cringe. Michael had calmly asked,

 

"Ma'am, how do you know if Jo's a girl? She could be a he." Jeremys mom put her nose in the air.

 

"I know because thats not possible. Joanna is a girl." Michael put down his ice cream. 

 

"And I'm gay." He said as he grabbed Jeremy's face with his hands, leaned forward, and kissed Jeremy. Jeremy froze, his eyes glued open. He could see that Michaels eyes were closed, so he closed his. And, slowly, he reacted to the kiss.

 

When Michael pulled away, it all landed on Jeremy. He tried to look calm, but he was mentally freaking out because  _holy fuck his crush since second grade had just kissed him_ and Michael was freaking out internally because  _holy fuck he just kissed his crush that he had since fourth grade._

 

Jeremy's mother stood and threw ten dollars on the table, hissing,

 

"Get a goddamn Uber. I'm not driving you two home." She left without saying goodbye. 

 

There was silence, then a cheer broke out from over at Alexandra's and Josephine's table. Alexandra was clapping and, when they looked over at her, gave them a thumbs up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //lowkey throws in a lesbian Lams// didya see it didya didya
> 
> Anything you want to see? Any requests? Let me know in the comments below!


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how cute Michael is in the BMC book like holy shit why do people hate you
> 
> I don't think theres any warnings for this chapter!

_JennaMarbles to SQUIP SQUAD: guys I just saw a_ _womens flyswatter_

 

_Valentino: so we're gendering random objects now huh_

 

_Bisexuality: how does that even work_

 

_PinkyBerry: our TINY HANDS can't HANDLE IT_

 

_Michaelingthebedroom: livin in trumps america_

 

_JerryHeere: maybe its a sex toy_

 

_JaketheCake: do you fly swat the pussy_

 

_JennaMarbles: hey wow look I exist_

 

_JaketheCake: do you fly swat the dick because trans girls are out there and they are beautiful and deserve our love_

 

_JennaMarbles: thats more like it_

 

_Valentino: so Alexandra told me Jeremy and Michael kissed_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: Alexandra can go fuck right off_

 

_Dramaticgirl: is it true?_

 

_JerryHeere: its how we got my mom to leave so yea_

 

_JennaMarbles: ASDFGHJKL_

 

_PinkyBerry: was it nice??_

 

_JerryHeere: why is this necessary information_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: it was nice_

 

_JerryHeere: TOP 10 ANIME BETRAYALS_

 

_Bisexuality: im so proud of the video gays,,, I'm a proud father_

 

_JerryHeere: hello father_

 

_Bisexuality: hello son_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: hello Jeremy's dad_

 

_Bisexuality: yoU TREAT MY SON RIGHT_

 

_JerryHeere: calm down_

 

_Bisexuality: never_

 

_JaketheCake: okay theres random children just running around my house okay yeah this is fine_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: call the humane society_

 

_JerryHeere: MICHAEL THATS AWFUL_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: hey its the humane society not the inhumane society_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: im not that evil_

 

_JerryHeere: mmhmm sure_

 

_Valentino: I smell a story cooking_

 

_JerryHeere: so when I was 8 my mom bought me a chinchilla right before she left,,,, I think it was an apology or something_

 

_JerryHeere: his name was john_

 

_JerryHeere: and John didn't like Michael_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: it was an evil little ball of fluff_

 

_JerryHeere: so one day I was inside doing something and Michael was playing with John outside_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: tHE THING BIT ME_

 

_JerryHeere: and so Michael takes John out of his cage and put him in the woods_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: IT WAS POSING A THREAT TOWARDS YOU_

 

_JerryHeere: STILL_

 

_Dramaticgirl: thats horrible!_

 

_JaketheCake: but funny_

 

_PinkyBerry: Jake what the hell_

 

_PinkyBerry: it was obviously a traumatic experience_

 

_JerryHeere: it was_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you want to see? Any requests? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you!!


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Book!Jeremy: I hate freckles.
> 
> My freckled ass: fuck you //puts freckles on Jeremy//

Jeremy was humming to himself as he played on his phone.  _Moana_ was playing on his TV, but it was muted; along with his phone screen being dimmed, and all of the lights being turned off. He had a headache that was spiraling into a migraine. He texted Michael.

 

_JerryHeere: i have a headache_

 

_JerryHeere: bring the red_ _Mountain Dew just in case_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: will do_

 

A few minutes later, Michael walked in. Jeremy waved from underneath his blankets, which were piled on him. Michael plunked the Mountain Dew down by the TV, then shutting it down. Jeremy glared at him.

 

"Hey! Rude." Michael rolled his eyes. 

 

"If you have a headache, you don't want any electronics on." Jeremy sighed, dropped his phone, then made grabby hands for the soda.

 

"Gimme." Michael quirked an eyebrow, but threw the bottle towards him. It landed on the ground. Jeremy burrowed underneath his blankets, muttering, "Sometimes I am so tired of living."

 

"Relatable." Michael said, then sat on the bed, by his feet. "Can I come into Blanket Town?" 

 

A mumbled 'no.' Michael harrumphed, then started to wiggle under.

 

"Well, too bad, there's an intruder." Jeremy gave his general direction an reproachful glare, but moved over so that Michael could lay next to him. Since it was about 8, it was pretty dark underneath the covers. Once Michael got near Jeremy, he smiled. "Hi."

 

"Hi." Jeremy took his face out of his pillow to look at Michael. His glasses were askew, so Jeremy reached out and fixed them. But, due to Michaels head being partly smushed in a pillow, they just moved back into their previous position. Jeremy groaned.

 

_Why do you hang out with him again?_

 

"Oh no," Jeremy whined, rolling over and groping for the Mountain Dew. Once he grabbed it, he popped out from under the blankets, unscrewed the cap, and took a swing.

 

 _ ~~DamN It. SysTeM ShuTDowN.~~_  

 

Once Jeremy was positive it was gone, he went back under again. He turned to face Michael, and was surprised to see Michael looking... Thoughtful.

 

"Jeremy, I'm-" Michael spoke slowly. "I'm sorry for randomly kissing you like that in front of your mom. I just got super ticked off and-" 

 

"It's fine, dude." Jeremy assured him. "We had agreed to steam her out with the gay, and we did." Michael scoffed, with a little side smile that always made Jeremy's insides melt. His face then grew serious again.

 

"But, the kiss- it was nice." Jeremy felt his heart pick up speed. "Can we maybe, I dunno, do it again?" Jeremy nodded, a bit too eagerly for his tastes. Michael leaned forward, and Jeremy's eyes slid shut. 

 

Even the gentle nudge of lips against lips made both of their hearts race. Jeremy felt reminders of the SQUIP telling him how to kiss, but pushed the memories aside. He was content.

 

Michael was the one to pull away, leaving them both panting a bit. Michael was also the first to break the silence.

 

"So, are we, uh-I don't know how to say this- dating? Will you be my boyfriend, Jeremy Heere?" Jeremy giggled at how dorky he was acting.

 

"Yes, I would love to be your boyfriend, Michael Mell." He teased him, then leaned in for another kiss.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Michael does faint at the sight of blood in this chapter, so be warned!

When Mr. Heere thought about it, it probably wasn't wise to trust his eleven year old son and his friend to make dinner. When there was a yelp from the kitchen, he completely expected it. 

 

What he didn't expect, however, was a loud  _thud_ and a cry from Jeremy.

\---

"Ow!" 

 

"Whats wrong?" Michael looked up from where he was reading the cookbook, seeing Jeremy hold his hand closely to his chest. "Are you okay?" Jeremy looked up, biting his lip. 

 

"Y-yeah, I think..." He un-cupped his right hand from his left, revealing a cut on his finger. It was bleeding steadily, and Michael felt his thoughts go fuzzy. "Michael?" 

 

_Thud._

 

_"DAD!"_

\----

Michael woke up on Jeremy's bed, his side vision showing Jeremy hovering anxiously over him. When Jeremy saw he was awake, his eyes glowed.

 

"Dude!" Michael tried to sit up, but he grew light-headed. Jeremy pushed him back down, "Don't move, you passed out an hour ago, and-" 

 

"Is your hand okay?" Jeremy tilted his head.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"Your hand. The bleeding one, uh-" Jeremy let out an 'oh' sound. 

 

"It's fine, see?" Jeremy held up a bandaged finger. If it had been his middle finger, it would've been funny. Sadly, it was his pointer finger. "Why do you think you- you know-"

 

"Fainted like a girl?" Michael snapped, suddenly feeling very pissed off. "I dunno, maybe I couldn't handle it!" Jeremy leaned back at his outburst. 

 

"Or maybe you just don't like blood." Jeremy shrugged. "Eliza doesn't like blood, and neither does Peggy." 

 

"They're  _girls,_ " Michael moaned, covering his eyes with his hand. Jeremy scoffed.

 

"And neither does Connor-"

 

"How do you know that?" 

 

"In science, Evan cut his hand, and Connor almost threw up. You were sick that day." Michael groaned, but there was a smile his face.

 

"I always miss the best things." He let out dramatically.

 

"You poor thing." Jeremy dead-panned, then giggled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many musical references ew
> 
> But ye my creativity center has basically been that 'tHIS BITCH EMPTY' vine for the last few days
> 
> Anything you want to see? Any requests? Please let me know in the comments below!


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trans Jenna!! I love her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jenna's mom is very transphobic in this chapter, so you don't have to read that if you don't want to!

Her name used to be Ryan.

 

She was Ryan, the nerdy, awkward kid who hung out with the girls. The school was concerned about his opinion on his friends.

 

 _"A creative and growing boy such as Ryan should be friends with more boys."_ That was what they said. His father only laughed.

 

 _"Let him hang around the girls! He'll be a real ladies' man if he does, huh, slugger?"_ Ryan only smiled weakly.

 

There were other things, too. He always drew himself wearing a skirt in kindergarten, and when his mom wanted to cut his hair, he ran screaming from her, his hands held protectively over his hair.

 

In fifth grade, he got an iPad. He messed around on it, like all children do, but when he stumbled upon a psychology video on YouTube, he fell into a hole. Soon, it was 1:19 AM, and he was reading about being a transgender male. His hands moved almost of their own accord as he looked up transgender females. 

 

He didn't get any sleep that night.

\----

When he was 14, he came out as she. She was Jenna, not Ryan. Her mom was nearly frothing at the mouth in anger, gripping her arm and nearly throwing her out in the rain. Her father stopped her from throwing Jenna out. 

 

_"Stop it, Madeline! Let our child make their own way in life."_

 

She never liked the name Madeline again.

\----

Her father divorced soon after that. She went with her dad; her brother, Alex, went with their mom. They barely got to hug before being ripped away from each other. 

 

He barely ever texts her. She knows its her mother, but it still hurts.

 

When her father saw how down she looked, he pulled over at a gas station. When she looked at him, he was smiling softly.

 

"Want to get some food?" She smiled. 

 

"Yeah."

\-----

She became friends with the most popular girls in school. It was surprising, really; she didn't even know how it happened. All of a sudden, one day, she was just... Popular. It was trippy. 

 

There was a bunch of shit that went down in junior year, though. Some drug made its way from Japan to America, turning kids into zombies, or something. There was Rich, who had joined her friend group by seducing all of the girls, but he didn't need too. He was pretty cool, even after he was SQUIP-ed. 

 

But then there was Brooke. Brooke made her feel all warm and happy inside, like she was a bottle of fizzy pop. Jenna loved her. When Brooke came out as pan, she was ecstatic. She was bi.

\-----

She came out to Brooke after them being friends for six months. She stuttered, stumbled over her words, and started over a few times, but went she finally spit the truth out, Brooke only smiled and said,

 

"Well, if we ever get together now, we won't have to pay for a strap-on." Jenna felt like she could faint.

 

"You're- you're not mad?" Brooke rolled her eyes.

 

"Why would I be mad? You're trans, big whoop. Its just a small part of who you are, the wonderful human being you are." She smiled. "Right?" Jenna rubbed her eye, a nervous tic she had.

 

"I guess." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhh its 2:44 but I can't sleep so 
> 
> Would you guys read a Flash!AU? Like, Jeremy becomes the Flash? It would be like the show with Grant Gustin in it. Let me know!
> 
> Thank you!


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy lmao
> 
> I made the Flash AU!! Its called 'Run, Jeremy, Run' and I've already finished and posted three chappies! Just wanted to tell ya :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theres like a shitton of The Help references sorry lmao 
> 
> If you spot the Moana referance, you get a cookie! (::)

_ Bisexuality: Hamilton was a president right _

 

_ JennaMarbles: //deep inhale// bOi _

 

_ JerryHeere: go back to eighth grade history class _

 

_ JaketheCake: suddenly youre not my friend _

 

_ Bisexuality: i hate you all _

 

_ Pinkyberry: whyd they write a musical about him then?? :00 _

 

_ JennaMarbles: oh babe _

 

_ JennaMarbles: ohh baby girl  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: //sweeps in// gay //sweeps out// _

 

_ Valentino: no, brooke, lmm just wanted to write a musical about him _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: DID SOMEONE SAY MUSICAL?? Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ _

 

_ Valentino: oh dear god _

 

_ JerryHeere: why did lmm write Hamilton, Christine?  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: //large inhale//  _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote Hamilton bc one: he was so interested in his story and two: he wanted to make history fun  _

 

_ Pinkyberry: i have dreams where lmm is my history teacher and we’re learning about Hamilton and he gets so excited about it _

 

_ Bisexuality: whats so interesting about dead white guys in wigs smh _

 

_ JaketheCake: hamilton was bi _

 

_ Bisexuality: HAMILTON IS AMAZING AND HE WAS A GREAT FOUNDING FATHER WHO DID GOOD FOR THIS COUNTRY  _

 

_ JennaMarbles: didnt he invent capitalism _

 

_ JerryHeere: and he cheated on his wife >.< _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: and he was racist sexist and probably homophobic  _

 

_ Bisexuality: .... okay then never mind he wasnt that great _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: yeah :/ _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: Lin-Manuel Miranda for president 2020 _

 

_ JerryHeere: anything better than Kanye _

 

_ JennaMarbles: oooOOOH SHIT JEREMYS THROWING SOME SHADE  B I T C H  _

 

_ Pinkyberry: im laughing so hard rn _

 

_ JaketheCake: im proud of me and richs salty son _

 

_ JerryHeere: :)))) _

 

_ Valentino: LMM FOR PRESIDENT 2020 _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: honestly,,,, Viola Davis is my dream president  _

 

_ Bisexuality: sorry to quote a meme but _

 

_ Bisexuality: who is she _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: shes beauty shes grace _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: she will punch you in the face  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: and you would thank her for it _

 

_ Pinkyberry: wasnt she Aibileen in The Help??  _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: ye _

 

_ JennaMarbles: !!! Viola Davis for president 2020 _

 

_ JaketheCake: anythinh better than trump _

 

_ JerryHeere: HOW DARE _

 

_ JennaMarbles: HOW DARE YOU PUT VIOLA DAVIS’S NAME NEXT TO THAT PIG _

 

_ Pinkyberry: Viola Davis, sweetie, I can’t believe that someone would do that, im so sorry, oh my god  _

 

_ JaketheCake: im scared _

 

_ Bisexuality: me 2 _

 

_ Pinkyberry: anyways _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: Viola Davis for president and Octavia Spencer for Vice president 2020 _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: Aibileen and Minny ruling America  _

 

_ JerryHeere: dreams really do come true _

 

_ \------- _

 

_ Bisexuality: so you all were talking about The Help and so i went and got the movie and _

 

_ Bisexuality: good god _

 

_ Bisexuality: i love Minny she doesnt deserve this crap _

 

_ Bisexuality: Aibileen doesnt deserve this crap _

 

_ Bisexuality: protect them plz _

 

_ JennaMarbles: i love soft boy rich _

 

_ Bisexuality: i aINT SOFT _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: the first stage of grief is denial  _

 

_ JaketheCake: boi u softer than a down pillow _

 

_ Bisexuality: tell that to your house _

 

_ JaketheCake: >:000 _

 

_ JerryHeere: i snorted so hard my dad thought a pig was in the living room _

 

_ JerryHeere: thanks _

 

_ Bisexuality: ur welcome //fingerguns//   _

 

_ Dramaticgirl: hey its okay okay youre welcome _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: //moonwalks in// whatd i miss _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: IM CHOKINH ON MY SUSHI GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN ABOVE  _

 

_ Pinkyberry: ew, you eat sushi? _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: ew, you eat frozen yogurt? _

 

_ JennaMarbles: hey thats my girlfriend youre talking to _

 

_ JerryHeere: hey thats my boyfriend youre talking to _

 

_ Valentino: everyone is so damn salty today _

 

_ JerryHeere: i ate some fries before textinh you people :) _

 

_ JerryHeere: that didnt make sense _

 

_ JerryHeere: shit _

**__**

_ Bisexuality: ur ok bro _

 

_ Michaelinthebedroom: u dig okay baby ;) _

 

_ Bisexuality: what does that mean _

 

_ Valentino: no one tell him _

 

_ Bisexuality: rude _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you want to see? Any requests? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you!


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens in this chapter plz stay with me

Jeremy was sitting on the sand, watching Rich, Michael, Jake and Brooke play around in the water. Michael was currently trying to dunk Rich, but turning up unsuccessful every time. Jake was carrying Brooke around on his shoulders, Brooke throwing her arms up in the air and cheering.

 

On the shore with him were Chloe, Jenna, and Christine. Chloe was napping, Christine was reading a book, and Jenna was seated next to him, yelling playfully at Jake to ‘leave her girl alone, boy!’ 

 

Jeremy was fiddling with his thumbs  _ up up down down left right left right  _ when he felt someone bat his shoulder. He yelped.

 

“Calm down Jeremy, its just me.” Jenna teased him, making him flush. “So, I re read our group chat three weeks ago,” Jeremy groaned.

 

“The one where we’re all salty?” Jenna giggled. 

 

“Yep. You are Michael are a  _ thing?” _ Jeremy shrugged. 

 

“I- yeah?” Jenna squealed.

 

“You two are so adorable together! I swear, you’re soulmates.” Jeremy smiled crookedly, then frowned.

 

“Please don’t spread it at school?” He said, more of a question than a request. Jenna tilted her head curiously.

 

“Why?” Jeremy started pulling at the hem of the swim shirt he was wearing. 

 

“Because- Well- This is stupid, sorry,” he apologized, shifting his gaze to Christine, on her belly, turning a page and silently giggling. 

 

“It isn’t stupid,” Jenna said gently. “If you don’t want me to spread it, I won’t.” Jeremy’s gaze shot back to her. 

 

“Really?” Jenna smiled and nodded.

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Thanks.” There was awkward silence, then, “I, uh, like your suit.” Jenna looked down at it. 

 

“Thanks, Jeremy!” It was pink with splashes of purple across it, and there was some blue. 

 

“Is that… the bi flag?” Jenna clicked her teeth.

 

“Sharp eye! Yeah, it is. I bought it offline.” Jeremy pursed his lips a bit and nodded. 

 

“Nice.” Jenna then took a closer look at his swim shirt. 

 

“Is that Legend Of Zelda?” Jeremy smiled widely and nodded. 

 

“Yeah! Michael bought it.” 

 

The two then got invested in a conversation about LOZ and other Nintendo games, Jeremy extremely impressed with her knowledge on Mario.  _ Seriously,  _ Jenna was telling him things even he didn’t know about Mario. And he played every Mario game religiously. 

 

At some point, a comfortable silence fell over them. Jeremy laid back on his side, facing away from the sun. His thumb came to rest on his lips, and he felt himself start to drift off. 

 

He was suddenly being picked up, and he sleepily opened his eyes to a calming view of the water.

 

_ Wait. _

 

He had about two seconds to realize what was going on before he was dumped in the water, landing on his back on the sand. 

 

He scrambled to a standing position, taking in a deep gulp of air before turning to glare at whoever had so rudely thrown him in water. Michael was nearly bent over double in laughter, and Rich was clearly trying to restrain his laughter. Jeremy spluttered, spitting the water out of his mouth.

 

_ “Assholes! All of you are assholes!”  _ Jeremy shrieked, hitting the water with his open-palmed hand. He caught a glimpse of Jenna lying flat on her back, laughing and holding her stomach, Christine, who was giggling wildly, and Chloe, who was in the shallow water now, on her knees and cackling. 

 

Jeremy lunged for Michael, catching him off guard and pushing him into the water. Michael shrieked going down, and came up yelling,

  
“Oh, it is  _ on,  _ Heere!” They got into a tussle, flinging each other into the water and Jeremy once swinging around to Michael’s back and choke-holding him. But not hard. He wasn't that mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who plays Jenna in BMC I love her so much
> 
> Anything you want to see? Let me know in the comments below!


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me venting through Christine I am so sorry
> 
> I don't think theres any warnings for this chapter! But if you think there should be, please tell me! Thank you!

Christine was humming to herself as she listened to 'Waving Through A Window' on her phone. She was up and bouncing around her house, twirling and skipping as she started to sing along.

 

" _'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass, waving through a window, oh. Can anybody see, is anybody waving-"_

 

"Christine!" Her father yelled. "Stop running around upstairs!" She cringed.

 

"Sorry," she mumbled, quickly walking back to her room. She flopped on her bed, the springs squealing and creaking under her weight. She was making herself comfortable, then-

 

" _Christine!_ Stop that!" Oh, it was her mother this time.

 

"Sorry!" She yelled again. She settled herself onto her bed, scrolling through tumblr as 'Waving Through A Window' ended and 'Helpless' began. She started humming that song, and, without thinking, got up and started to dance around again, in the same routine she did countless times before. She just had so much  _energy,_ could you blame her?

 

" _Christine Elizabeth Canguila_!" Her father yelled. The smile on her face fell, and she flumped down on her bed again, this time entangling her feet tightly in her bedsheets, making it a struggle to move. 

 

She knew that music made her wander around like this, but music made her  _happy._ How could she give up her happy place for even an hour? Once, in school, she had to go the entire day without music, even the crap they play on the radio these days. Her head had felt fuzzy, and she was a bit more all over the place than usual. Music made her feel calm and nice. 

 

After ten minutes, the song selection had changed five times, two of those times Christine skipping over songs she didn't like. 'Flashlight,' as performed by Ben Platt, her favorite actor (and singer, seriously, the man was magical) of all time started to play. She closed her eyes, getting lost in the music. She started to sing along.

 

" _I got all I need when I got you and I,_  
_I look around me, and see a sweet life,_  
_I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight,_  
_You're getting me, getting me, through the night_ -" 

 

"Stop singing so loudly, Christine!" Her mother scolded her from down the stairs. Embarrassed, she stopped singing immediately. She paused the song, but started feeling itchy and weird with the sudden silence. She unpaused the song, feeling calmer as Ben Platt sang. 

 

Her legs, which were tied up, started aching for movement. Without thinking, she started to vibrate her left foot, the laying-down version of bouncing leg. 

 

'Flashlight' faded out, being replaced with 'Sincerely, Me.' She started to move her shoulders to the syncopation, humming along.

 

Next thing she knew, she was up and bouncing around, spinning and doing the all the choreography she remembered from the bootleg she watched. 

A yell from downstairs. 

 

" _Christine!"_

 

"Sorry!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But ye Christine is me
> 
> The only thing I changed was instead of a mom and dad I only have a mom haha
> 
> Also!!! Syncopation is where theres a beat on the off beat. Its really prominent in Sincerely, Me with the 'reinvention' so its like
> 
> RE- beat - IN - beat - VEN - beat - TION! 
> 
> And the 
> 
> 'Its easy to change if you give it YOUR - beat - AT - beat - TEN - beat - TION!'
> 
> And its actually pretty hard because you're so used to going on the beat, so going on the off beat is tricky.
> 
> So yeah, theres a little music lesson from your very own 5'2 14 year old violin player :)


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how much i love Rich Goranski ge's like my spirit animal

_Bisexuality: ummm i may have told my cousin not to vore a tree today_

 

_Valentino: im sorry but what the fuck_

 

_JaketheCake: i regret dating you_

 

_JennaMarbles: dATING EXCUSE ME EXCUSE MEEEEEEE_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: jenna thats old news_

 

_JerryHeere: and now backtothenews_

 

_JerryHeere: im intrigued_

 

_Bisexuality: so we were camping and i was given Responsibility to take care of him_

 

_Dramaticgirl: so its not the same cousin who got you into Doc?_

 

_Bisexuality: nope_

 

_Bisexuality: this ones younger_

 

_Bisexuality: anyways so i was kinda leaning against a tree so he toddled up on his little chubby baby legs_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: meaty toddler legs_

 

_Pinkyberry: michael wjat the fukc_

 

_JerryHeere: im breaking up with you_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: bye bitch_

 

_JerryHeere: :0 >:( _

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: :)_

 

_Valentino: YALL SHUT UP I WANT TO HEAR THIS_

 

_JennaMarbles: *heere_

 

_JerryHeere: i cant believe you stole my meme like that_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: hello yes 911 ive witnessed a meme getting sNATCHED_

 

_Bisexuality: so my baby cousin goes “twee!” so i asked him if he could say hi to the tree and he looked at me concernedly so i had to say “hi tree!” in front of my entire family and strangers_

 

_Dramaticgirl: aww, Rich is good with kids! Thats adorable <3 _

 

_Valentino: aww_

 

_Bisexuality: leave me alone_

 

_JaketheCake: i mean hes already short enough to be considered a 2 year old i dont blame him for being embarrassed_

 

_Bisexuality: BINCH HIW COULD YOU_

 

_JerryHeere: 911 i have just witnessed a fucKIGN MURDER_

 

_Valentino: SHUT UP I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT VORING THE TREE_

 

_Bisexuality: so then he fINALLY goes ‘hi twee!’ and then he starts petting the tree_

 

_Bisexuality: so i go ‘thank you william, for being so nice to the tree’ and then_

 

_JerryHeere: what kind of name is william_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: better than yours_

 

_JaketheCake: fuccing clapback_

 

_Pinkyberry: faster than my dad in the sex_

 

_Valentino: IM WHEEZING 911 HELP_

 

_Dramaticgirl: im daed bye_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: christine made a typo whoa_

 

_JennaMarbles: im dyin scoob_

 

_Bisexuality: sHUT IT_

 

_Bisexuality: and then he pretends to eat the tree_

 

_Bisexuality: so i told him not to eat the tree and he just giggles and DOES IT SOME MORE GOD DAMN IT_

 

_Pinkyberry: this kid is great_

 

_Bisexuality: and by great i hope you mean crazy_

 

_JerryHeere: how old is this kid?_

 

_Bisexuality: 2_

 

_JaketheCake: Local 2 Year Old Fucking Kills My Boyfriend_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: Learn more at 5_

 

_JennaMarbles: im still so happy that rich and jake are dating_

 

_Valentino: my prophecy was correct_

 

_Pinkyberry: ….?!?!_

 

 _Dramaticgirl: [sent a photo to SQUIP SQUAD]_ **_blastfromthepast.jpg_ **

 

_JerryHeere: i remember that_

 

_Bisexuality: i Can’t Believe this_

 

 _JaketheCake: when bae capitalizes words and you read them_ _in an Important Voice_

 

_Bisexuality: screw off_

 

_Bisexuality: so i kinda freaked out and told him to stop eating the tree and then you fucks came to mind_

 

_Valentino: love you too_

 

_Bisexuality: so i whispered ‘please dont vore the tree’_

 

_Bisexuality: and felt Very Ashamed afterwards_

 

_Bisexuality: and thats the end_

 

_JaketheCake: //applause, stands up, wipes a single tear from my eye// amazing_

 

_JerryHeere: Evan Hansen will feel so conflicted_

 

_Bisexuality: iF YOU TELL EVAN HANSEN THIS I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU_

 

_JerryHeere: //texting evan hansen// im sorry what was that_

 

_Bisexuality: I HATE YOU_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom: i need to see this_

 

_\---_

 

_JerryHeere has sent a private message to Acorn_

 

_JerryHeere: hey Evan_

 

_Acorn: hey jeremy_

 

_Acorn: hhow are you_

 

_JerryHeere: im good_

 

_JerryHeere: how are you_

 

_Acorn: good_

 

_JerryHeere: so uhhh my friend Rich, you know him, right?_

 

_Acorn: yeah!_

_JerryHeere: well he told his baby cousin not to vore a tree today_

 

_Acorn has gone offline_

 

_\---_

 

  _Dramaticgirl: poor baby XD_

 

_Valentino: I CANT BELIEVE YOU JEREMY_

 

_JerryHeere: i have many regrets but that is not one of them_

 

_\----_

 

_Dramaticgirl has changed their name to AroAce_

 

_AroAce: im a new woman_

 

_Michaelinthebedroom has changed their name to Gay_

 

_Gay: yeet_

 

_Bisexuality: im good thanks_

 

_JerryHeere has changed their name to Trans &Bi _

 

_JennaMarbles has changed their name to Trans &Bi _

 

_Trans &Bi: we’re going to have a problem here _

 

_Gay: will the real slim shady please stand up_

 

_Trans &Bi has changed their name to FtMTrans&Bi _

 

_Trans &Bi has changed their name to MtFTrans&Bi _

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: there _

 

_Valentino has changed their name to Lesbian_

 

_Lesbian: idk what we’re doing but i love it_

 

_Pinkyberry: IM LATE TO THE PARTY SHIT_

 

_Pinkyberry has changed their name to Pansexuality_

 

_Pansexuality: i feel refreshed_

 

_JaketheCake: uhhh_

 

_JaketheCake has changed their name to Bisexuality_

 

_Bisexuality: fucking snatched_

 

_Bisexuality: this is,,, interesting_

 

_Bisexuality has changed their name to Bisexuality1_

 

_Bisexuality has changed their name to Bisexuality2_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: but whos who _

 

_Gay: that rhymed_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: babe i know thats why i did it _

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: ‘babe’ IM WEAK UGH _

 

_Bisexuality1: dont worry im rich (the meme filled one)_

 

_Bisexuality2: and im jake_

 

_Bisexuality1: //fingerguns// ayyy_


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is something at the very end when Brooke calls her cousin a slut, but its completely in a joking manner. 
> 
> You don't have to read it if you don't want too, though! I'll replace it if you guys want. 
> 
> (Its the third sentance from the end.)

Brooke was sitting in her cousin's car, scrolling through her phone and taking sips of her Sprite Zero. The two other people in the car with her were talking about… Something, she wasn’t really paying attention. 

 

The radio was playing a commercial about muffins. She made a face when the overly-perky lady called the muffins  _ moist. _ Who wants to eat something  _ moist?  _ It was like saying something was  _ oozing,  _ or saying something  _ slithered  _ somewhere.

 

She started to text Jenna and Chloe in their shared group chat. 

 

_ Pansexuality: words that piss me off: slithers, oozing, and moist _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: ew  _

 

_ Lesbian: do you ever get such a feeling of disgust- _

 

Brooke smiled as the three of them started to discuss uncomfortable words. 

 

“Brookie?” She jumped. She had forgotten that there was a kid. Whoops. 

 

“Yeah?” The child was staring at her intensely.

 

“Wha’ you doin’?” She shrugged.

 

“Texting my friends.” The baby hummed. 

 

“Why?” A song by Charlie Puth started to play. Brooke smiled awkwardly.

 

“Because they’re my friends?” 

 

“Why?” The cousin driving snorted. Brooke squinted at the back of their seat. 

 

“Cuz.” She said.  _ Despacito  _ started to play. She started to sing along. Her other cousin started to sing with her until they were yelling out the lyrics, Brooke giggling in between the verses. She pulled up SnapChat and Snapped Chloe, with the caption of  _ bet u cant do better. _

 

Chloe replied with her scowling at the camera, the caption saying  _ watch me. _ The next Snap showed Chloe shakily holding her camera, headbanging, and completely butchering the lyrics. Brooke laughed so hard she snorted, then showed her cousin who wasn't driving. He nearly died laughing.

\---

Two hours later, the entire car (minus the baby, of course) were arguing about who was the gay cousin. Brooke was making her case.

 

“Since I’m the one with the girlfriend,  _ I’m  _ the gay cousin.” Her cousin, Andrew, waved his finger at her.

 

“But, Brooke, I’m _ gay.  _ That automatically makes me the gay cousin.” Brooke rolled her eyes.

 

“Are you dating anyone?” Her other cousin, Matthew, choked. 

 

“Oh my God, Andrew, she stinking  _ destroyed  _ you.” Andrew slumped. 

 

“Well-” Brooke cut him off.

 

“Also, I’m poly. Beat that.” Matthew asked,

 

“What's that?” Andrew answered.

 

“You can pretty much love and date more than one person.” Brooke nodded.

 

“Pretty much.”

 

“Can’t everyone do that?” Brooke started to yell.

 

“Matthew, you ignorant slut!” Matthew yelled back at her.

 

“How does my night job have anything to do with this?!” Andrew collapsed into laughter.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rich had a crush on Jeremy in second grade pass it on

Rich was trying to take a nap when he heard a ruckus from outside his door. He rubbed his eyes hard, then got up. He made his way downstairs, where he saw one of his favorite cousins of all time.

 

“Steven!” He shrieked, jumping off of the third-to-the-bottom stair at him. Steven caught him, ruffling his hair and saying,

 

“Hey, little buddy!” Rich giggled as Steven put him down, both of them walking towards the living room. The other people went to the kitchen, leaving the two alone. Rich sat on his knees on the couch, looking at Steven with bright eyes.

 

“What was Africa like?” He asked, bouncing as he did. Steven smiled, pulling something out of his pocket. 

 

“Well, there’s crocodiles,” he began, unwrapping a small wooden crocodile and handing it to Rich, who carefully traced his fingers over the bumps and ridges, “Cheetahs,” Steven handed another wooden figure to him, it getting the same treatment as the crocodile, “and lions!” Rich looked up with a gasp.

 

_ “Lions?” _ Steven nodded and handed him a small carving of a lion. Rich looked at it in wonder, running his thumb over the mane of the cat. “Did you ever see one?” The second-grader asked in amazement.

 

“No, I didn’t.” Rich frowned. “Sorry, little buddy.” Steven tried to make the upset look on Rich’s face go away. “How old are you now?” Rich held up seven fingers. “Seven?! When I left, you were only five!” Rich giggled a little.

 

“Nuh-uh. You left when I was six!” Rich argued, his smile coming back. Steven flopped backwards on the couch dramatically.

 

“I’m growing  _ old,  _ Rich. You gotta help me keep my facts straight.” In reality, Steven was only twenty-five, but to the young Rich, he seemed as old and wise as Gandalf in The Lord Of The Rings, which they all had watched before Steven left. Rich nodded.

 

“Okay!” 

\---

Later, the two cousins were watching  _ Toy Story  _ when Steven decided to tease Rich a little. 

 

Hey, he was the closest thing the kid had to a brother. It was in the job description. 

 

“So, Rich…” He began, seeing Rich turn his head towards him. “Are there any pretty girls in your class?” Rich scrunched his nose. 

 

“Steven!” He whined, crossing his arms in that way little kids do, quickly and easily. Instead of what Steven thought he was going to do, (complain and ask to watch the movie more,) he did the exact opposite. “Theres  _ one  _ girl who’s real cute.” Steven nearly yelped in surprise.

 

“Oh?” He asked. He was trying not to freak out but  _ holy crap, his little baby cousin who had a lisp and was obsessed with lions had an honest-to-god crush.  _ “Can you tell me her name?” Rich nodded innocently.

 

“Joanna.” Steven nodded, turning the movie volume down a bit.

 

“Joanna?” Rich smiled.

 

“Yeah. Joanna Heere. Her last name is funny.” Steven hummed.

 

“What does she look like?” He was still a little in shock. 

 

“She has really long pigtails, and there's always blue ribbons in them.” Rich started. “She has freckles and she’s really funny.” He suddenly pouted. “But Michael is her best friend.” 

 

“Why is that a bad thing?” 

 

“‘Cause Michael always is by her! I can’t talk to her.” Rich scowled. Steven held back a snort.  _ Ah, the troubles of a second grader. _

 

“Why can’t you ask Michael if you can talk to Joanna?” Rich shrugged. 

 

“Because when I see her, I get all shy and stutter-y and I can’t see straight and Michael always says, ‘C’mon Joanie, let’s go somewhere else’ and then she’s gone and I get angry!” Rich said in all one breath. 

 

“Hmm, little buddy, that's hard.” Steven sympathized. “Maybe give her a card? Valentine's day is coming up soon.” Rich contemplated this thought. 

 

“I’ll make her the best card ever!” He finally promised, looking determined and nodding his head savagely. “Even better than what Michael gives her!” 

\---

_ Freshman Year _

 

Rich was too old to be picked up, but Steven still ruffled his hair.

 

“Nice red streak, dude.”

 

“Thanks.” There was some awkwardness between the two, but it evaporated quickly when Steven saw Rich’s Lord Of The Rings poster. The two fanboyed over The Hobbit and LOTR. 

 

They decided to watch The Hobbit, first movie. About thirty minutes in, Steven remembered the last time they had done this.

 

“So… Rich,” he said, “How is your crush on Joanna going?” Rich looked at him with the most confused look he had ever seen.

 

“Who’s that?”  _ The kid still has his lisp, oh my god. _

 

“Joanna?” Steven tried to remind him. “Joanna… Heere, I think it was?” Rich seemed to recognize the last name.

 

“Oh. It’s Jeremy.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Jeremy. Jeremy Heere.” Rich went back to watching the movie, leaving Steven alone with his thoughts.

  
“Oh.” 


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The SQUIP is mentioned, along with Jeremy having a panic attack and having a really bad bout of dysphoria! If you don't want to read it, its from the {12:35 AM on Sunday, July 23} to 'Bisexuality has sent a private message to Gay', so you don't have to read it if you don't want to :)

_Bisexuality has sent a private message to FtMTrans &Bi _

 

_Bisexuality: hey uhhh jere i gotta tell you smth_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: ? What is it? _

 

_Bisexuality: from second grade to fifth grade_

 

_Bisexuality: i had a really big crush on you_

 

_Bisexuality: you know that card you got from a secret admirer in second grade?_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: yeah _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: the ‘i want to make a zelda pun, but i wont tri and force it’ thing, right?? _

 

_Bisexuality: yeah_

 

_Bisexuality: that was from me_

 

_Bisexuality: anyways i thought you were the cutest little thing bc you had freckles and your hair was always up in pigtails and your laugh always made me feel so happy and giddy_

 

_Bisexuality: but i never talked to you bc i was scared of michael_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: scared???? Of michael???? _

 

_Bisexuality: i know it sounds stupid_

 

_Bisexuality: but i was really anxious and nervous and crap back in grade school_

 

_Bisexuality: lmao who am i kidding i still am_

 

_Bisexuality: but i just wanted to tell you_

 

_Bisexuality: and i know i dont have a chance now bc youre dating michael_

 

_Bisexuality: and im really happy you two are together_

 

_Bisexuality: but i wanted to get this wjole thing off of my chest._

 

_Bisexuality: and im sorry i made fun of you before the squipcident_

 

_Bisexuality: i was a complete jerk and i have no explaination_

 

_Bisexuality: but my squip told me that i had to basically use force and lust to get to the top of the social ladder_

 

_Bisexuality: im sorry_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: its ok _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: i forgive you _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: and thanks for thinking i was the “cutest little thing” in second grade lol _

 

_Bisexuality: !!! You were!!_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: lmao really??? I thought i just looked ugly _

 

_Bisexuality: omg no_

 

_Bisexuality: you were the cutest person on earth to me in those three years_

 

_Bisexuality: i wanted to touch your face bc you were so cute_

 

_Bisexuality: but michael always was protective of you so i didnt really do anything_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: thats really sweet rich _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: but im still surprised that you were scared of michael???? Omg hes like the most laid back dude i know _

 

_Bisexuality: ikr_

 

_Bisexuality: but he was a giant compared to me (he still is)_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: lmao _

 

_Bisexuality: but i didnt know you two that well so asdfghjkl_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: hm _

 

_Bisexuality: so uhh this became awkward_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: no!! _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: this is nice, really _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: thanks for telling me:) _

 

_Bisexuality: ur welcome_

_\---_

_{12:35 AM on Sunday, July 23}_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: mmich aell _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: ii ccant brr ea th ee _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: iTs bAac kk its b acccgg iys bACY _

 

_Bisexuality: jeremy??_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: it kk eeets ttelllinh me im a ggirldd _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: imm sscare dc _

 

_Bisexuality: Jeremy. I’m not Michael, I’m Rich, but that doesn't matter._

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: iimmm a ggrisl im a guesl im a g,,Utl _

 

_Bisexuality: Jeremy, please, you're not making any sense._

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: it kEeps sayi ng im a ggirfbkl _

 

_Bisexuality: Jeremy, I’m coming over. Do you remember what you told me, Jake, Chloe, Jenna and Brooke?_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: no _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: imm q gurlk im a gy ur rl im a fguel _

 

_Bisexuality: Jeremy, you need to breathe. Blue skies in, grey skies out. Remember?_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: i ccantt _

 

_Bisexuality: Yes, Jeremy, I believe you can. Remember when we all had to read a book on how to calm our anxiety down?_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: kkindaa _

 

_Bisexuality: Jeremy, please, inhale, blue skies in, exhale, grey skies out._

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: bblue skieS in grAy sk ies oout _

 

_Bisexuality: You’re doing wonderful, Jeremy. I’m in my car right now. Do you want me to come over?_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: ple asE Plasse pl easase _

 

_Bisexuality: Inhale, blue skies in, exhale, grey skies out. Just keep doing that till I get there, okay?_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: ooka5 _

_\---_

_Bisexuality has sent a private message to Gay_

 

_{7:12 AM}_

 

_Bisexuality: michael_

 

_Bisexuality: jeremy had a panic attack last night bc he kept on hearing the squip_

 

_Bisexuality: his dysphoria also got really bad_

 

_Bisexuality: he was trying to text you (he called me michael) but he accidentally texted me_

 

_Bisexuality: i drove over and stayed with him until he fell asleep_

 

_Bisexuality: i just wanted to tell you because_

 

_Bisexuality: you know_

 

_Bisexuality: youre dating and all that_

 

_Bisexuality: but he was panicking really bad bc the squip was calling him by his dead name and misgendering him and verbally abusing him_

 

_Bisexuality: which is what it usually does but thats beside the point_

 

_Bisexuality: but yeah i just sat and talked to him until he stopped hearing the squip_

 

_Bisexuality: he had a headache afterwards_

 

_Bisexuality: so i got him some painkillers and he fell asleep after that_

 

_Bisexuality: im still here at his house i just crashed on the couch downstairs_

 

_Bisexuality: but he kept on asking for you and asking when you were going to come over so i kept saying ‘in the morning, in the morning, he will be here in the morning, i promise’ so you better get your damn ass over here_

 

_Bisexuality: if you dont im gonna fight you behind wendy's at 3 am bc jeremy is my friend and he deserves the best_

 

_Bisexuality: this is also mandatory Boyf Riend duty_

 

_Bisexuality: so get over here and comfort your boyfriend_

 

_Bisexuality: now if youll excuse me im gonna fall asleep because ive only had one hour of the damn thing_

 

_Gay: oh my god_

 

_Gay: ill be right there_

 

_Gay: thanks, rich, for telling me._

 

_Gay: thank you for going over there and helping him even if you didnt want to_

 

_Gay: it really means alot that you would do that for jeremy_

 

_Gay: and i agree, jeremy does deserve the best_

 

_Gay: thank you_

 

_Bisexuality: ur welcome_

 

_Bisexuality: also ps im gonna pass out right when i let go of this phone so when you walk in and im sleeping_

 

_Bisexuality: plz be aware that i talk in my sleep plz thank you_

 

_Gay: noted_

 

_Gay: once again, thank you_

 

_Bisexuality: yup_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'inhale, blue skies in, exhale, grey skies out ' is from American Girl lmao im sorry


	42. Chapter 42

When Michael was seven, his  _ Nanay  _ told him what depression was. 

 

He already had a pretty rock-solid idea of it, though. Depression was his Mama staring at a wall for hours and days, not getting up, not taking a shower, and not smiling. He and his  _ Nanay  _ had to make all the food, Michael had to make his own lunch, and he had to walk to school, which was the worst part. Joanna took the bus. 

 

Oftentimes, he forgot what his Mama’s smile looked like. When he asked  _ Nanay,  _ she took him in her arms, and told him this about his Mama:

 

“Your Mama’s smile is so rare, it’s like a big diamond when we find it. When we do find it, we see the glowing sharpness and beauty of a cut diamond, but we still see the rawness of a new jewel. That is what your Mama’s smile looks like.” Michael would then smile himself, saying,

 

“What does  _ my  _ smile look like,  _ Nanay?”  _ She would chuckle and tickle him until he nearly fell off her lap because he was laughing so hard, and tell him, 

 

“Your smile is like all the sweets in the world,  _ anak.  _ It’s like when you come home from school, and you see your dog, Pogi, and that warm feeling you get that fills up your chest. That's how your smile makes people feel.” Michael blushed a little, then thought of someone else.

 

“What about Joanna? What does her smile look like?” His  _ Nanay  _ hummed. 

 

“That is something you have to figure out for yourself,  _ Dayong _ .” She told him. He jumped off of her lap, ran upstairs, tip-toed past his Mama’s room, and went to his room, and promptly began to think about what Joanna’s smile looked like. He made a list.

 

 

  * __Nice__


  * _Happy_


  * _Silly_


  * _Pretty_



 

He looked over his list, then scowled. Those weren't anything like diamonds and jewels, or candy and Pogi! 

 

He started a new list. 

 

_ What Joanna’s smile reminds me of: _

 

  * __Making sand castles__


  * _Playing in the water_


  * _Playing patty-cake_


  * _Drawing with new markers_



 

 

Every year, he made a new list. When the two would put Skittles and M&M’s into his Mama’s depression medication, or when Joanna would shyly place a small stuffed animal outside of her door so that she would see it when she came out, Michael added it to his list. 

\---

One year, when they were thirteen, Jeremy (Jeremy _ ,  _ not Joanna, Jeremy) tried to teach Michael how to speak some Hebrew. Michael had once tried to return the favor, teaching Jeremy basic words of endearment in Tagalog. 

 

He also taught him some swear words, but don’t tell his moms that.

 

Jeremy did not do well with Tagalog. He always stumbled over the phrases, pronounced the wrong syllables at the wrong times, and just sounded like a white kid trying to speak Tagalog. 

 

It was one of the funniest things Michael had ever heard, seen, and experienced. When he teased Jeremy about it, he squeaked,

 

“ _ Ben zona!” _ Which means, quite literally, ‘son of a bitch.’ 

 

_ “Puta!”  _ Michael shot back, which, once again, pretty much means ‘son of a bitch.’ The two then got to throwing random words at each other, not all of them swears, but some sounding bad enough to sound so. 

 

Michael added all of it to his list.

 

_ What Jeremy’s smile reminds me of: _

 

  * __Making sand castles__


  * _Playing in the water_


  * _Playing patty-cake_


  * _Drawing with new markers_


  * _Putting Skittles in my Mamas pill boxes_


  * _Giving my Nanay and Mama random presents to make them feel better_


  * _Trying to teach Jeremy how to speak Tagalog_


  * _Jeremy trying to teach me how to speak Hebrew_



 

\---

Of course, Michael also knew a little bit of Vietnamese. His Mama was entirely Vietnamese, but born in America; she had a strong New York accent that sometimes faded into the nice sounds of North Vietnamese dialect. 

 

His Nanay and Mama jokingly called each other ‘Anh’ and ‘Em,’ which was usually reserved for heterosexual relationships. Michael didn’t know if many people did it; it was just an inside joke between his mothers.

 

When Michael was diagnosed with social anxiety, he came home from the doctors office, saw his Mama waiting on the couch, and knocked on the table.

 

“Hi, Mama.” She jumped up and nearly ran towards him, talking rapidly in Vietnamese. All Michael could catch of what she was saying was ‘my poor son’ and ‘my darling child.’ His Nanay walked in to see her wife running her fingers through her son's hair and speaking so quickly that even she couldn't keep up.

 

“ _ Em _ , he’s-” She couldn't finish due to the fact that her wife had flung herself towards her now, asking frantically,

 

“ _ Anh,  _ is he okay? Does he need medicine?” Michael’s Nanay placed a soothing hand on her wife’s shoulder.

 

“ _ Em,  _ he has social anxiety. He does need medicine, but-” Her wife nearly went ballistic again, “but he’s going to be fine, okay?” Michael flashed a smile in their direction. 

 

“Yeah, Mama, I’m okay.” Michael said, then laughed a little. “We’re a messed up family, huh?” 

 

“Don’t say that,” his Mama scolded him quickly. 

 

“Sorry.” 

\---

When he called Jeremy and told him, Jeremy whistled lowly and said,

 

“That sucks.” 

 

“You’re not the one who has to deal with it.” Michael grumbled, smiling a bit when he heard Jeremy breathily giggle a little. 

 

“So, uh, how did Jasmine and Hà find out?” Michael shrugged.

 

“Big party. Bigger freakout.” He said, shortly. He didn’t really like talking about it. Jeremy hummed. 

 

“Can I come over and play for a bit?” ‘Play’ didn’t mean ‘play pretend’ anymore; it meant playing video games.

 

“Sure.” Michael said, then relished in the crackly silence of the phone, hearing Jeremy’s breaths through the speaker before he said,

 

“Okay. I’ll be over there soon.” 

 

“Got it.” Jeremy hung up.

 

Michael added another thing to his list. 

 

_ What Jeremy’s smile reminds me of: _

 

  * __Making sand castles__


  * _Playing in the water_


  * _Playing patty-cake_


  * _Drawing with new markers_


  * _Putting Skittles in my Mamas pill boxes_


  * _Giving my Nanay and Mama random presents to make them feel better_


  * _Trying to teach Jeremy how to speak some Tagalog_


  * _Jeremy trying to teach me how to speak some Hebrew_


  * _That third space you can go to on the phone where you can hear each other breathe_



 

 

Michael suddenly knew what Jeremy’s smile reminded him of.

 

He made a new list.

 

_ What Jeremy’s smile reminds me of:  _

 

  * __Happiness__



 

 


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! Theres some mention of cheating, Jeremy has a small panic attack, and he has some self-depicrating comments to himself, but its pretty quick and minor, mostly stuff you would hear in the musical. But you don't have to read it if you don't want to!

Of course, Jeremy should’ve expected at least  _ someone  _ to flirt with Michael. His boyfriend was fucking hot, what could he say? 

 

That still didn't stop jealousy from boiling in his stomach. He propped himself up on his elbows on the table he was at, waiting with less and less patience with every second that went by. Michael was laughing at a joke that the guy told him, (Jeremy was surprised that there wasn’t a girl flirting with him, but the gay pride patch on his sweatshirt might’ve caught people’s attention. Of course, girls would ignore that. They were most always valley girls, with annoyingly high-pitched laughter and the unlimited supply of ‘like’ in their vocabulary.) and he replied with something of his own.

 

Anyways, Jeremy just wanted a nice date between the two. He had driven Michael to their favorite pizza place, ordered what they both liked, (pepperoni for Michael, cheese for him) and even got breadsticks. Stinking  _ breadsticks. _

 

But, nope, Michael went up to get some pop from the soda machine (Sodapop, ha ha ha, eighth grade ELA was a bitch) and was promptly swung into a conversation with a pretty attractive dude. A senior, if Jeremy remembers correctly. 

 

Doesn't matter. Jeremy wanted out. 

 

He picked at his pizza moodily as Michael came swaggering back, a happy smile on his face. 

 

“Did you see that?” Jeremy snapped out of his daze.

 

“Hm?” Michael sat, pushing a Fruit Punch drink towards him, then taking a sip of his Coke. 

 

“ _ That.  _ That was Jared Kleinman, dude!” Michael’s gaze drifted over again to the guy.

 

“Isn’t he dating Evan?” Michael cringed and nodded, saying,

 

“Yeah, about that…” Jeremy snapped.

 

“What, so he was going to cheat on Evan?” Michael looked up, surprised. 

 

“No, that’s not what I-” Jeremy held up a hand. He was pissed.

 

“Yeah, when you’re on a date with your goddamn  _ boyfriend,  _ you don’t go off and flirt with another guy!” Michael placed his hand over Jeremy’s mouth, making him realize that he was nearly yelling. Jeremy flushed.

 

Michael started talking.

 

“Jeremy, calm down, please, and listen to me. Jared wasn’t going to cheat on Evan, and I wasn't about to cheat on you, okay? Jared was telling me that Evan and him were up for polyamory, and-” Jeremy licked his hand, feeling tears start, to his horror, build up.

 

“And you were  _ considering it?”  _ He whisper-yelled. Michael shook his hands.

 

“No! We were joking around.” Jeremy started to feel embarrassed, especially when he saw Evan and Jared look concernedly in their direction. Jeremy flushed red, then stood quickly.

 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom, excuse me.” He left quickly, whispering ‘ _ idiot, idiot, you’re a goddamn idiot and a bad boyfriend’  _ all the way to a stall in the bathroom. He sat on the toilet seat after putting it down, then hid his face in his hands. 

 

“Dammit,” he mumbled, his eyes tearing up again. “You’re so damn  _ paranoid,  _ you can’t even trust your boyfriend. You’re  _ terrible. _ ” Jeremy started to feel his breath speed up, and he grew nauseous. 

 

He took deep breaths  _ in through the nose out through the mouth  _ and felt himself start to calm down but  _ in through the nose and out through the mouth  _ he couldn’t stop thinking and then the repressed memories he had came back  _ in through the nose out through the mouth  _ and he could hear the door open  _ in out in out inoutinout _

 

“Jeremy?” 

 

“M-Michael?”  _ inoutinoutinout _

 

“Can I come in?” Jeremy nodded numbly, leaning forward and unlocking the door.  _ Inout in out inoutinout in out _

 

Jeremy tried to imagine what Michael saw. Probably a gross, sweaty kid who was breathing weird and was all snotty and his eyes red from crying.  _ In out inout in inoutinout inininout  _

 

Michael went to touch him on the shoulder, but then hesitated. 

 

“Can I-?” Jeremy nodded. Michael placed his hand on his shoulder, squatting down so that Jeremy was taller than him for once  _ (haha,  _ a faint part of Jeremy whispered,  _ haha, finally, asshole.)  _ “Are you okay?” Jeremy shrugged half-heartedly.

 

“I g-guess.” Michael sighed.

 

“I’m sorry. I should've known better than to flirt with Jared, even jokingly.” 

 

“No, I shouldn't’ve been so overprotective and gross and weird.”  _ in out in out in, out, in, out. You’re going to be okay.  _

 

“You're none of those things, I promise." Michael assured him. "Wanna go out and finish the night? Or go home and watch a movie?” Jeremy hummed.

 

“Can we go home?” He whispered, his voice rough from crying. Michael stood, grasping Jeremy’s hand and pulling him up, kissing him softly on the temple.

 

“Of course.” 


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SO I HEARD SOMEWHERE THAT JEREMY WOULD CALL MICHAEL MICAH AND I SCREAMED

Michael woke up first. 

 

Over the night, he and Jeremy had tangled up together, Jeremy’s leg resting on both of Michael’s, his arm splayed across Michael’s chest, Michael’s hand on Jeremy’s hip, and their noses nearly touching. 

 

His head was fuzzy, and he couldn't necessarily  _ see _ , but this was nice. Judging by the sunlight streaming in on his face, it was around nine o'clock. 

 

Michael gently removed his arm from Jeremy’s grip, scoping around blindly until he found his phone and glasses. Squinting at his phone, he found fourteen new messages from the group chat.

 

_ AroAce: alright party people _

 

_ AroAce: and jake _

 

_ Bisexuality2: :0 rude _

 

_ AroAce: haha  _

_ AroAce: so on Tuesday my parents are eating at this fancy resteranut and im not invited bc too much money _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: is this becoming a therapy session?  _

 

_ AroAce: shsHSHSH _

 

_ AroAce: but they gave me some money and so they say i can bring you guys to breakfast! Whaddya say?? _

 

_ Lesbian: im in _

 

_ Pansexuality: me too! Is it a fancy place? Do we need to dress up?  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: yeah, ill come _

 

_ AroAce: no, not really, just don’t come in your pjs :) _

 

_ Bisexuality1: ill come _

 

_ Bisexuality2: sure _

 

_ Gay: me n jere will come _

 

_ AroAce: hey michael!!  _

 

_ AroAce: the breakfast is in a hour, at The Fine Grind :)  _

 

Well, shit. Michael looked regretfully at Jeremy, not really wanting to wake him up. 

 

He put his phone down, putting his hand back on Jeremy’s hip, kind of in the Vulcan hand symbol, with his thumb resting on Jeremy’s hipbone. He started rubbing small, gentle circles near his tummy, Jeremy snuffling a little but not waking up.

 

“Jere,” he whispered, nuzzling into Jeremy’s hair. “Jere, it’s time to get up.” Jeremy grumbled. “Jere.” Jeremy kicked a little, only succeeding at flinging his foot out over the side of the bed.

 

“Nooooo-” he whined. “I don’ wanna get up.” Michael pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

 

“But we have to,  _ bebe. _ ” Jeremy smiled sleepily, starting to drift off again. Michael trailed his hand to Jeremy’s back, slipping under the shirt he was wearing. “Jeremy, baby, please.” 

 

“I ain’t your baby,” Jeremy mumbled into his shirt, clutching tighter at the fabric. Michael chuckled a little.

 

“What do you want me to call you?  _ Mahal?  _ Love? Honey?” Jeremy started to giggle.  _ “Sinta?”  _ Jeremy nodded.

 

“I like  _ Sinta. Sinta  _ is pretty.” Jeremy then moved his head so that it rested underneath Michael’s chin. “And  _ bebe.  _ That’s cute.” Jeremy let out a breath that ran over Michael’s collarbone. “ _ Ani ohev otcha.”  _

 

“ _ Mahal kita.”  _ Jeremy smiled and sighed. There was a beat of silence, then, “Now get up.” Jeremy whined and squirmed angrily. 

 

“Why? You just woke me up and I don’t know why!” Michael giggled. 

 

“Christine invited us to go out and eat with the entire gang. We have to leave in-” He leaned over and checked his phone, “Forty-five minutes.” 

 

“ _ Forty-five?”  _ Jeremy complained. “You could’ve woken me up in twenty minutes!” 

 

“Nah.” Michael teased him. Jeremy grumbled again, sticking his face back in Michael’s shirt. There was quiet, then Michael rubbed his back. “In five minutes, we have to get up.” 

 

“ _ Micah-!”  _ Jeremy groaned. “You’re ruining the moment!” Michael blushed.

 

“I’m Micah now?” Jeremy nodded, leaning up and kissing his jaw. 

 

“Yeah. Since you gave me the nickname of ‘Jere-bear,’ it’s only fair to return the favor.” 

 

“I named you that when we were nine. Now, almost nine years later, you finally give  _ me  _ a nickname?” Jeremy smiled.

 

“Mm-hm!” 

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.” 

 

“Now get up and get dressed.” 

 

“Michael!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys think this is getting too long? Should I stop it somewhere? Please let me know. 
> 
> Requests are always open, loves!


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPIDERMAN: HOMECOMING WAS THE BOMB.COM IF YOU WANT TO YELL ABOUT IT WITH ME YOU CAN GO ON MY TUMBLR 
> 
> I'm @modern-lamsheadcanons 
> 
> Please speak to me I'm so alone

Rich was animatedly trying to explain to Jeremy on how to make he and Michael’s relationship better. Don’t ask Jeremy on how he got onto the subject, he doesn’t know. 

 

“Jere, what you gotta do is tell Michael what you love most about him.” 

 

“How did we even get onto this subject?” Jeremy asked, his eyes flicking to the side. Rich rolled his eyes.

 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

 

“How do you even know about that?” 

 

“Chloe.” 

 

“Should Chloe be trusted with giving out relationship advice?” Rich shrugged.

 

“I dunno.” Jeremy sighed, biting absentmindedly on his fingernails. 

 

“So when should I initiate the conversation?” Rich grinned mischievously.

 

“Preferably during foreplay,” Jeremy sputtered and turned red, “but during a movie is good, too.” Jeremy nodded slowly.

 

“Oh… ‘Kay.” 

\---

Michael and Jeremy were snuggling later that night, watching  _ La La Land,  _ the both of them humming along to the songs. Michael had his hand on Jeremy’s hip, tapping along to the music. 

 

When  _ City Of Stars  _ stopped playing, Jeremy shifted so that he was pretty close to entirely facing Michael. Michael was watching the movie closely, so Jeremy kissed his jaw to get his attention.

 

“Michael?” 

 

“Hm?” Jeremy took in a breath. This was gonna be awkward.

 

“What- My favorite things about you are-” Jesus. He was stammering even more than usual. “I love your smile and your jokes and your eyes because they’re this really pretty brown and your hair is super soft and nice and-” Shit. He was rambling. Michael was staring at him.  _ Shit.  _ “And- I love how sweet and nice you are because-” Michael put a finger on his lips, efficiently shutting him up. 

 

“Where did this come from?” 

 

“Rich.” Jeremy mumbled sheepishly. Michael giggled, a smile splitting his face.

 

_ “Well,  _ my favorite things about you are…” Michael hesitated. Jeremy nearly screamed.

 

“I just spat out five things off the top of my head and you struggle to come up with  _ one?”  _ Michael smiled again, but this time, it was softer. He paused the movie.

 

“I love your eyes, because they change everyday. Sometimes they’re blue, sometimes they’re green, and sometimes they’re this gorgeous mix of both.” Jeremy shut his mouth with a  _ click. _ “And I love your hair, because it’s golden in the sunlight, and a beautiful golden-brown inside.” Michael ran his fingers through Jeremy’s hair. “I love your voice, because it’s squeaky and cute, and I love your voice cracks.” Jeremy looked away, blush spreading from his cheeks to his ears. 

 

“I-” Michael shushed him with a kiss, moving so that his glasses didn’t press against his skin. 

 

Jeremy gasped a bit when Michael pressed his tongue against his bottom lip, then opening his mouth to allow Michael inside. His hand trailed up Michael’s back to the back of his hair, pushing him closer. Michael pulled away, whispering, 

 

“I love your smile, because it's sort of… Subtle, perfect, and real.” He kissed Jeremy again. Jeremy was panting and feeling a little light-headed. 

 

“Michael-” Jeremy gasped softly. 

 

“Yeah?” Michael’s arm wrapped around his waist, holding tightly. They leaned forward again, then-

 

“Jeremy?” Michael and Jeremy both jumped violently, their hearts suddenly racing. Both of them removed all contact with the other, Jeremy accidently falling off the couch. He pushed himself up on his hands and knees while Michael sat on the other side of the couch, his own blush deepening in embarrassment. 

 

“Yeah?” Jeremy’s voice cracked on the ‘ah’ part. 

 

“I haven’t heard the movie in a while.” Jeremy sat back on the couch, opposite sides of Michael. “Is the CD okay?” 

 

“Yep, it’s fine, we just-” 

 

“Did I interrupt something?” Both of the boys grew even more red, if that was possible. 

 

“No! No, we were just- talking.” There was an awkward silence.

 

“Okay, just checking in.” Jeremy grabbed the TV remote, unpausing the movie.

 

The two didn’t stay separate for long, though. About twenty minutes later, the two boys were shoulder to shoulder, leaning against each other. Jeremy laid his head on Michael’s shoulder, Michael laying his head on top of Jeremy’s. 


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh Michael has a huge, and I mean HUGE, panic attack in this chapter, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to!

Michael couldn't breathe.

 

Blue and red and black blurred in his vision as he tried to look normal heading to the bathroom. Everyone talking and laughing was  _ too loud  _ and it grated against his ears, making him grind his teeth together to keep from screaming. He bumped against people on his way to his destination, and it was  _ too much he has to get out get out get out _

 

His hand made contact with the doorknob, and he could have sobbed. Jiggling the door open, he peeked in to see if anyone was, like, naked or throwing up or something. 

 

Once it was all clear, he slipped in, locking the door. Afterwards, he slid in, locking the door behind him, sliding down until he was sitting with his back to the door  _ you’re gonna be okay no I’m not yes you are breathe calm down you’re gonna be fine _

 

He was not going to be in here for long, he promised himself. Only get his breathing under control, stop his mind from feeling static-y  _ you’re gonna die no I’m not yes you are  _

 

He took in a shaky breath.  _ In, out, in, out.  _ Just keep doing that.  _ In, out, in, out.  _ He’s going to be fine. 

 

“You’re going to be okay,” he whispers to himself. “No one is going to hurt you, you’re fine, you’re going to be just fine.” There was a loud knock. 

 

“Hey, you mind? Other people have to use the bathroom too, you know!” That’s funny, Michael thinks, that’s funny, that’s what Chloe said that night, and  _ oh no.  _ Michael tenses.

 

“I’ll- I’ll be out soon!” He yells, as loud as he can even though his throat is clogging up  _ oh no oh no oh nonono _

 

Nausea creeps into his stomach, and he can hold it for now but he doubts he’ll be able too if this escalates anymore. He makes his way towards the toilet.  _ You’re gonna die you’re gonna be fine die die diediedieDIEDIEDIE  _

 

His vision is going grey. His mind grows fuzzier and heavier and he just wants to lay down  _ DIEDIEDIEDIE YOU’RE GONNA DIE  _

 

He frantically reaches for the toilet paper, grabbing what seems to be like a hundred squares but that’s impossible and throws up. There’s barely anything in his stomach so there’s not a lot of puke but it still feels awful coming up his throat and he tears up as he dry-heaves  _ no wonder Jeremy left you that night  _

 

Tears run down his cheeks as he flushes the toilet paper, trying futilely to get the taste out of his mouth by sticking his tongue out multiple times. He soon grows somewhat used to the taste and uses the counter to stand up and get a drink _ diediediedie  _

 

Breathe, he reminds himself,  _ in out inoutinoutinout out out in in in out in  _ he wonders vaguely if he’s going to pass out  _ out out out in  _

 

He wishes he has a blunt, because then he can calm himself down a little but there’s no smoking allowed so that’s out  _ they all left you you were all alone like you deserve diediedie  _

 

He wants Jeremy, Jeremy would calm him down and run his fingers through his hair  _ but Jeremy left you he left you diediedie  _ but that was a year ago  _ no saying he wouldn't do it again diediedie  _

 

His hands are shaking so badly that the sweat on them nearly flies off  _ diediedie  _ and he reminds himself to breathe  _ inoutinoutoutininoutin  _ but he can’t  _ I can’t  _

 

He hears knocking and yelling and he thinks he hears his name  _ everyone left you  _ but no, there’s Jeremy  _ he left you  _ but he didn’t! He’s here! 

 

_ “Michael?”  _ He hears, and he makes a noise in response  _ diediedie  _ but then he hears Jeremy again and  _ sweet, wonderful Jeremy I love you I love you  _

 

He barely hears Rich and Jake talking, one minute they’re outside and the next they’re inside  _ they see how horrible you look diediedie  _ and Jake is outside with his wheelchair but Jeremy is sitting in front of him and Rich is right next to him  _ you’re a burden you’re a burden they should be having fun but instead they're taking care of your miserable ass  _

 

Jeremy is talking, he can see but he can’t hear  _ whywhywhy  _ and Rich looks scared  _ they’re going to leave you  _ Jake is calling someone  _ who is he calling whywhywhy  _

 

_ “Michael, can you hear me?”  _ Jeremy asks,  _ sweet Jeremy who doesn’t deserve you  _ Rich is-  _ Rich is crying you made him cry awful awful awful you’re awful diediedie  _ Jake is trying to get in to get Rich  _ you’re a burden diediedie  _

 

_ “Michael, I need you to breathe with me,”  _ Jeremy says, and he breathes in deeply  _ my chest hurts  _ but Michael does it anyways to make Jeremy happy  _ sweet wonderful Jeremy who doesn’t deserve you  _

 

Rich is also taking deep breaths, holding, then releasing  _ calm calm calm you need to be calm  _

 

Jake isn’t at the doorway anymore  _ he left you he left you diediedie  _ but then he’s back and  _ Mama? Nanay?  _

 

Michael is still breathing with Jeremy and Rich  _ calm calm calm  _ and Mama and Nanay are by him know, Mama is singing in Vietnamese  _ calm calm calm  _ and Nanay is pressing her thumb into his wrist  _ calm calm calm  _ and Rich is wiping his eyes embarrassedly  _ you did that  _ but Jeremy is smiling and saying  _ “Good job Mikkael, I’m so proud of you, baby,” and Jeremy’s proud of you he’s proud of you calm calm calm _

 

He’s standing up now, Mama put his headphones on him so that all the noise is muffled  _ calm calm calm  _ and Jeremy is helping him out of the bathroom  _ calm calm calm  _ and Jake is looking at him with overwhelming concern  _ you’re a burden  _ but Jeremy is kissing him on the cheek, it's a weird kind of kissing he presses his lips against his cheek, barely pulls away, then does it again, and they’re out by the car.  _ Calm, calm, calm. You’re going to be okay.  _

 

Jeremy is holding his hand in the backseat, and he’s  _ so so tired  _ so he puts his head down on Jeremy’s lap, and Jeremy starts running his fingers through his hair,  _ calm, calm, calm,  _ and Jeremy starts singing in Hebrew to him  _ Jeremy is a pretty singer  _ and everything is okay. 

  
_ You’re going to be okay. _


	47. Michael Fucked Up part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Michael and Jeremy get in a fight, Michael asks Jeremy if he's on his period, and theres a breif illusion to 'Do You Wanna Hang?' So you don't have to read that if you don't want to!

“I’m not going.”

 

“Why?” Michael was on the phone with Jeremy, his fingers entangling in his hair anxiously.

 

“I don’t believe in prom.” Jeremy’s voice sounded muffled, almost as if he was underwater. Weird.

 

“Dude, I’ve literally been planning this for weeks, then you ditch me?”

 

“I’m not ditching you. You never told me, so I never told you. I never wanted to go.” There was scuffling from Jeremy’s side of the phone. Michael tried to keep calm, but anger was bubbling up.

 

“Why _not?”_ Michael whined.

 

“Because, that’s why.” Jeremy said, sighing deeply beforehand.

 

“That doesn’t make any _sense._ Prom is, like, the greatest thing in high school.” Michael said, now pacing around his room.

 

“To you, it is. To me, it’s a waste of time.” Michael’s gaze landed on his calendar. Anger fogged up his judgment.

 

“Jesus, are you on your period or something?” Jeremy inhaled sharply, an angry noise rising out of his throat.

 

“Oh, _fuck_ you, Michael Mell! Asshole!” Jeremy shrieked, then hung up. Michael still held the phone to his ear, the dial tone droning ceaselessly.

 

 _“Fuck,”_ he suddenly hissed, facing the wall and slamming his head against it. “God _damn_ it, Michael Mell!” He yelled, throwing his phone on his bed and pressing his knuckles into his eyes, seeing stars then grey squares as they started to ache. “You fucked up, you fucked _everything_ up, he’s gonna break up with you and it’s _all your fault!_ ” He stomped on the ground, his lip quivering as tears welled up. He heard someone walking up the stairs. He fell to the ground, sitting cross-legged and his fingers entangled in his hair.

 

“Michael?”

 

“Nanay, I-” She opened the door, taking in her son’s pitiful appearance.

 

“Michael, what happened?” Michael broke. He started sobbing and wailing like a baby. His mom quickly walked over to him, kneeling and brushing the hair out of his face. “Honey, what happened?”

 

“I- I-” Michael choked on a breath, “I was talking to Jeremy and- I-” He sobbed more. _“I don’t wanna say it.”_ His mom wrapped her arms around him, shushing him and petting his hair.

 

“You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to, okay?” Michael nodded numbly.

 

A few minutes of silence, then,

 

“H-he was mad at me ‘cause- ‘cause I wanted to go to prom with him-” His mom laughed a little, but didn’t say anything, “And- and I asked him if he was- on his-” Michael’s voice grew shakier. “I asked him if he was- y’know, on _that-”_

 

“That?” His mom asked. Michael squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop tears from leaking out.

 

“I asked him if he was on his _period,_ okay?!” His mom pushed him away, making it so that they were face to face.

 

“Oh, _Michael-”_ she breathed. Michael started bawling again, his eyes and the skin under them itchy and wet.

 

“ _I’m sorry!”_ Michael sobbed, “I didn’t _mean_ to, it just came out!” His mom pushed his hair away from his face. “I’m- I’m a bad boyfriend, I don’t _deserve_ him, I-”

 

“Hey, hey, honey, shh…” His Nanay pulled him towards her shoulder again, rubbing his back soothingly. “You just made a mistake, okay? You’re human. Humans make mistakes.”

 

“I hate being human.” Michael mumbled. His Nanay chuckled.

 

“I know. Me too.”

\---

After ten minutes, Michael ran out of tears. He sniffed, rubbing at his eyes that were itchy beyond belief. His mom stood, Michael flopping down on his bed.

 

“It’s late, sweetie. Go to sleep, and we’ll figure it all out in the morning, alright?” Michael nodded, grabbing his phone and checking it. There were four texts, none from Jeremy.

 

_Lesbian: you done fucked up, mikey_

 

_Lesbian: do you know what jeremy is doing?_

 

_Lesbian: sobbing his eyes out as me, christine, and brooke try to calm him down_

 

_Lesbian: you better have a damn good reason or I’m fighting you behind 7/11 at 3 tomorrow_

 

_Gay: at least he has you guys_

 

_Gay: im really really sorry, okay??_

 

_Gay: i didnt mean it_

 

_Lesbian: tell that to jeremy, not me_

 

_Lesbian: i just cant fuckin believe you michael_

 

_Lesbian: did you even think before you spoke??_

 

_Gay: you know what?_

 

_Gay: fuck you valentine_

 

_Gay: and while im at it_

_Gay: fuck you cangulia_

_Gay: fuck you lohst_

_Gay: and fuck you heere_

_Gay: fuck everyone_

_Lesbian: fuck you right back, mell_

_Lesbian: do you even feel bad_

_Gay: i dont know, ask my mom_

_Gay: shes the one who calmed me down from a near panic attack for thirty minutes_

_Gay: not like you would care, youre too busy taking care of heere_

A new text.

_FtMTrans &Bi: fuck you michael _

_FtMTrans &Bi has blocked Gay _

Fuck being calm. Michael was _mad._

_Gay: oh, nice_

_Gay: just block me, why dont you_

_Gay: i fucking hate you_

_Gay: i hate all of you_

_Gay: including you, rich & jake & jenna, if youre reading this _

_Gay: i never wanted any of you to be my friends anyways_

_Gay: why should i?_

_Gay: you stole my best friend away from me_

_Gay: i wanted to date jeremy ever since fifth grade but oh noooo_

_Gay: christine was soo cute_

_Gay: jake and rich?? Fuck you both_

_Gay: you never had a right to mock me_

_Gay: does making fun of me make you feel better about your sad, pathetic life?_

_Gay: jenna, did outing me as gay at school make you feel good? I hope so_

_Gay: brooke and chloe_

_Gay: i dont even have to remind you what you nearly did_

_Gay: i was so fucking worried about jeremy when i found out_

_Gay: and now im supposed to be friends with you people??? Hell no_

_Gay: fuck this shit_

_Gay: im out_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about calling this chapter 'Michael feels regret then gets fucking pissed' thoughts
> 
> Seriously play 'Good For You' during the texting part it's worth it
> 
> I didnt mean to make this so aNGSTY YIKES


	48. Michael Fucked Up part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @Pinktoria your comment on last chapter made me laugh so hard omg XD 
> 
> But yeah uhhhh it's not done yet b i t c h e s (jkjk i love you all omg)

Michael was making a list. Music was softly playing in his headphones, the title of the song unknown, but the lyrics were nice.

 

_ Some pray that, one day, Christ will come a-callin' _ __  
_ They light a candle, and hope that it glows _ __  
_ And some just lie there, crying for him to come and find them _ _  
_ __ But when he comes, they don't know how to go-

 

O-kay then. A bit depressing, but Michael was feeling depressed right now, so what gives. He wrote down another name.

 

_ -Nicole Cooper is going to prom with Naomi Trump _

 

Naomi was a really nice girl, despite her extremely unfortunate last name. Nicole was just pure and good all around. 

 

As Michael writes, his mind drifts. He thinks back to That Night.

 

That Night happened a week ago now, seven days. At school, Jeremy has been avoiding Michael, even once switching seats in Spanish class so that he could sit over with on the other side of the room, far away from Michael.

 

And it’s fine, Michael thinks, it’s fine, he doesn’t want to hang out with them anyways, it’s  _ perfectly, completely fine.  _

 

The music changes. Something by Linkin Park.

 

How perfect. 

\---

“Michael?” He looks up from his lists. “There’s someone here to see you!” Who? He didn’t have any friends anymore. 

 

Despite that, he stood, stretched, walked downstairs, and very nearly spun on his heel and went back up. 

 

“Rich?” The guy was holding a small conversation with Mama (something about The Lord Of The Rings) but looked up at Michael. Then, to Michael’s complete and utter bafflement, he  _ smiled.  _

 

Well, fuck Michael gently with a chainsaw. This had to be a dream.  _ Rich Goranski,  _ the very guy he had- Yep, yep, nope, not going to think about That Night. Don’t want to start crying again.

 

“Hey, Michael.” Rich says, standing up from his chair. “Can I come upstairs?” 

 

_ I don’t know, can you?  _ Michael very nearly says, but restrains himself at the last moment. 

 

“Sure,” he says, turning and walking upstairs with no ceremony, checking behind him to see if Rich is following. 

 

Once they get to Michael's room, he kneels and starts shifting through video games.

 

“Wanna play Mario Kart?” Rich nods, standing uneasily at the doorway, taking in Michael’s room. There’s video game posters and consoles everywhere, with clothes scattered around the room. Michael boots up the game, throwing a Wii remote towards Rich’s general direction.

 

Rich catches it, then sits somewhat near Michael. They choose 100 CC, even though Michael’s little pointer-finger thingy (Rich forgot what it was called) hovers over 150 for a few seconds. 

 

Michael chooses Mario, Rich chooses King Boo, and Michael pulls a dick move and clicks on Rainbow Road.

 

“You really are an asshole,” Rich says, preparing to start.

 

“Don’t I know it,” Michael replies, then promptly gets in eighth place by revving his engine at the right time. Rich is left behind in tenth.

 

They play in silence for a while, (Rich falling off 12 times in the first round, Michael only once) before Michael pipes up.

 

“Why are you here.” It’s a statement, not a question, and Rich is slightly intimidated by the flatness of his tone.

 

“I’m here because everyone else is still pissed at you, and Chloe wants to fucking deck you.” Rich tells him, and Michael smirks, but it looks tired and unhappy. 

 

“So why aren’t you beating me up?” Michael asks, tossing a red shell behind him and knocking Baby Peach off the edge. Rich shrugs and avoids getting hit by a rogue green shell. (Michael is in 3rd place, and Rich is in 7th.)  

 

“Because what you said to me was true. I had no right to make fun of you, and I’m sorry.” Michael hits him with a red shell.

 

“Apology accepted,” he answers. Silence falls again. It’s even more awkward than the first. Rich wants to break it in any way he can.

 

“You wanna know how I got my lisp?” He asks, and Michael looks intrigued. The story is actually quite morbid, but it’s funny. “I was in a bouncy castle, and there was a net around it, y’know?” Michael nods. “And so I’m bouncing on this big-ass castle, and I was the tiniest one there, so these bigger kids were jumping close to me so that I would go higher, and-” 

 

The level ends, with Michael in 2nd place and Rich in 4th. They start a new level, and Rich continues.

 

“And this one kid could bounce really well or something, so I go flying towards the net, and-” He makes a noise, takes his hand off of the control pad, and pantomimes two baby teeth getting ripped out. Michael cringes.

 

“Christ, that must’ve hurt.” Rich nods.

 

“Like a bitch. I was crying, and my older cousin, Steven, was there, watching, so he climbs into the bouncy castle, picks me up, grabs the two teeth, and drives me to the hospital.” Michael hums.

 

“What happened then?” Rich shrugs.

 

“I went into surgery. Since the teeth that were ripped out were about to fall out anyways, they just let me, basically, be a toothless six-year-old.” Michael doesn’t reply, and Rich notices how deeply Michael focuses. He doesn’t breathe, or move, or do anything other than control his avatar until the end of the round, where he relaxes and breathes again.

 

“How’d you get the lisp?” Oh, wow, smooth, Michael. Piss off the one guy who isn’t that mad at you.  _ Idiot. _ Rich only laughs.

 

“Meh, I didn’t really talk that much when I was a kid,” Michael smiles, and Rich notices. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, fuzzball. Anyways, I didn’t really grow used to talking with teeth, so I got the lisp. It doesn’t really make sense, I know, but that’s what my mom says.” 

 

“Mom knows best.” Michael agrees. Silence falls again. Rich decides to rip the band-aid off.

 

“You know, when you started calling everyone else out, I was pretty confused.” Michael cringes, his smile drops, and curls up a little. “Like, I was watching Chloe be a bitch, then-” 

 

“It’s my fault.” Michael says suddenly.  _ Okay Rich, maybe try to put the band-aid back on. _

 

“Yeah, I admit, that was pretty dick-ish of you to do,” Rich agrees, “but Chloe was being a bitch. You know her.” Michael turns off the TV, then turning to face Rich entirely.

 

“No, I was being a fucking asshole. I should’ve just accepted that Jeremy didn’t want to go to prom, but  _ oh no,  _ I had to bring up his biggest insecurity like a dick!” He presses his palms into his eyes, “And then I decided to bring you and Jake and Brooke and everyone else into it, and-” Michael lets out a sob. Rich is frozen, not knowing what to do. 

 

Michael is crying, his shoulders shaking and Rich can see that his teeth are clenched, and his face is flushing red, and  _ dammit Rich, do something! Anything! _

 

Without thinking, Rich pulls out his phone, debates recording Michael to show the gang but decides against it, and only sends a text.

 

_Bisexuality1 to SQUIP SQUAD_

 

_ Bisexuality1: yall come over to my house at 7 _

 

_ Bisexuality1: we’re fixing this _

 

One last debate. He takes a short video of Michael crying, and sends it.

 

_ Bisexuality1 sent a video:  _ **_michaelmell.mp4_ **

 

_ Bisexuality1: i dont want anymore fighting or crying _

  
_ Bisexuality1: we’re making this right _


	49. Michael Fucked Up part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy has some dysphoria in this chapter, so you don't have to read that if you don't want to!

There's a ugly, twisted part of Christine that takes joy in seeing Michael cry. It rears its head when she clicks on the video that Rich sent, but then is squashed by her inevitable concern for the boy. Darn. She could never really stay mad for long. She holds grudges, sure, and there’s many people she doesn’t like, but she’s not really  _ mad  _ at them.

 

Without thinking, she thumps down the stairs and grabs her car keys. Her dad stops her.

 

“Christine, where are you going?” He asks. Christine tries to explain and get past him.

 

“I’m meeting up with my friends.” He scowls, but lets her get to the door. 

 

“You’re going to be home by dinner, right?” She stops trying to unlock the door, turns, and hugs her dad, going up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

 

“Yes, dad. If I’m not, I’ll just eat there, okay?” Her dad nods, brushing her bangs out of her face.

 

“Okay. Have fun.” She bounces away, waving and yelling ‘bye.’ Her dad waves back. 

 

She jumps into her car, starting it and pulling out. She opens up Spotify and clicks on her  _ Important Music  _ playlist, and turns it up. 

 

However, her phone buzzes halfway to Rich’s house, so she waits for the nearest red light and checks it. A text from Jeremy.

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im not going _

 

“Oh, yes you are,” Christine mumbles, turning on a cul-de-sac and driving to Jeremy’s house. “You are making up with your boyfriend if its the last thing I do.” She vows, pulling into his driveway and getting out. 

 

_ AroAce: jeremy open the door _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: why _

 

_ AroAce: im right outside of your house _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: wtf why _

 

A few moments later, however, he opens the door.

 

To put it lightly, Jeremy looks like shit. His eyes have light violet circles under them, his hair is messy and greasy, and he’s slouching more than usual. He pulls her inside, shutting the door behind her. 

 

“What are you  _ doing  _ here?” He whisper-yells, rubbing his eye. Christine sighs.

 

“You and Michael.” 

 

“Fuck him.” Jeremy hisses, his eyes smoldering. “I don’t want to see him. Ever. Again.” His tone is clipped, and Christine knows she’s walking on glass. 

 

“Did you see the video Rich sent?” Jeremy looks confused.

 

“Video?” 

 

“You didn’t see it?” He shakes his head. 

 

“My phone died.” Christine beckons him over to the couch, sitting and pulling out her phone. Jeremy sits next to her, and watches her leg begin to shake as the video loads. 

 

Then Michael is crying on her phone screen, and Jeremy looks… Odd. His features soften, and he looks sad, but then his jaw tightens and he looks away. 

 

“I don’t care.” He says, crossing his arms and looking away. The video stops, and Christine closes out of the player. She sets it down. Jeremy is staring straight ahead, his arms wrapped tightly around his stomach. 

 

Christine smells blood. It’s faint, but it’s there. Oh boy. Christine isn’t the best at easing people so that they reply to her questions, but she’s gonna try, damn it.

 

“Jeremy, when was the last time you switched out your pad?” She asks gently, and Jeremy flinches. 

 

“I’m not on it.” He says, too quick to be true. Christine sighs.

 

“Then why do I smell blood?” Jeremy shrugs, but then relents.

 

“Do you… Have a… You know, that?” Christine wordlessly digs into her purse, and pulls out a medium sized one. Jeremy takes it, stands, and goes to the bathroom. 

 

When he comes back, the smell is gone. He sits by her, sitting silently until Christine pipes up. 

 

“When was the last time you did that?” Jeremy shrugs and looks away so that she can’t see his face.

 

“Yesterday,” he mumbles. Christine’s eyes widen a bit.

 

“Yester-?” She tries to catch Jeremy’s gaze. “Oh,  _ Jeremy…”  _ He avoids her eyes. 

 

“I thought-” He shakes his head. “It’s not  _ fair.  _ I’m this skinny beanpole, so it would make sense that I would have light periods, right?” Christine doesn’t do or say anything. “But, no, every month for a week my… parts decide to scream at me, my pants look like a murder scene, and it’s hard to remind myself I’m a boy when my ovaries are telling me otherwise!” Jeremy breaks down, tears starting to fall. Christine nearly tackles him in a hug, but restrains herself. 

 

“Can I touch you?” She asks, and Jeremy shakes his head. He hiccups, then turns and hugs Christine tightly. 

 

“I- I  _ miss him,  _ dammit, I miss him s-so much!” He wails. “I want him to come over so I almost call him but- but then I remember what he  _ said,  _ and- and I-” Christine shushes him, tentatively running her fingers through the hair she can reach on him. 

 

“Shh…” She whispers, rubbing his lower back. “It’s okay, okay? You’re a boy, Jeremy, no matter what, you hear me?” A nod into her shoulder. 

 

They sit in silence until Jeremy removes himself from her shoulder, his cheeks and eyes puffy and red.

 

“You smell like vanilla and chocolate,” Jeremy says tiredly. Christine giggles.

 

“Silly,” She teases him. She stands and helps him up, then says, “I’m gonna start a shower for you, is that okay?” Jeremy raises an eyebrow, but nods. “Then we’re going over to Rich’s house and you are going to beat up Michael.” Jeremy giggles. 

 

“Okay.” Christine makes her way to the bathroom, fiddling with the dials until there’s a steady stream going, then pulls Jeremy in. 

 

“I’ll pick some clothes out for you.” Jeremy turns so that his back is facing her, then pulls off his shirt. 

 

“Okay, mom.” 

 

“I’m the best mom out there, and you know it.” She says, and Jeremy laughs; Christine can hear him pull back the shower curtain. She walks into his room, picking her way through dirty clothes and sheets of paper on the floor. 

 

She chooses an outfit (a flannel button-down shirt and jeans) uses her foot to pick up some boxers (she isn’t touching boy underwear, that's gross) sets them both on the bed, then spends the rest of the time walking around Jeremy’s house, texting Veronica and Heather. 

 

Ten minutes later, Jeremy walks downstairs, dressed in the clothes Christine picked out, but blushing.

 

“I-” he starts, “I need to go get- go get pads, can I-?” Christine hands him another one. “Thanks.” He vanishes to put it on. 

 

He comes back, jumping from the second stair from the bottom.

 

“Let’s go.” Christine goes and opens the door, unlocking her car. Jeremy gets into the passenger seat, and Christine starts the car, turning on her Broadway playlist.  _ Defying Gravity  _ starts playing, and they sit in comfortable silence. Christine soon pulls up in Rich’s driveway. She looks at Jeremy.

 

“You ready?” Jeremy nods.

 

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter leggo
> 
> Thoughts on this chapter? Let me know! Thank you!


	50. Michael Fucked Up part 4 (FINALE)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for building you guys up like this because this chapter sucks omg

“Fuck you Goranski, I’m not going in there!” Michael hisses, pressing himself against a wall anxiously. He can hear Chloe and Brooke and Jenna and  _ oh god Jeremy was here. _ Rich only sighs through his nose, his nostrils flaring angrily.

 

“Mell, if you don’t walk in there right now, I will personally beat you up!” Rich snapped. Michael felt a little terrified at the short stack of anger, but released himself from the wall.

 

“If anyone kills me,” He tells Rich, “Please put this on my grave:  _ ‘here lies an asshole.’”  _

 

“Trust me, I was going to do that already,” Rich tells him, shoving him in the open. Michael stumbles into the room where everyone is, silence falling over the room. 

 

It’s quiet, too quiet, and Michael only races over to a chair, curling up in it and pulling out his phone, dicking around on Tumblr. The silence is then broken by Jake, good old Jake, who starts telling a story about the one time he thought he had seen Rob Lowe out in public, but it turned out to be just some random guy. Everyone laughs, and the tension is lifted, if only for a moment. 

 

But then Rich corrals everyone into the living room, and Michael can feel the glares he’s getting, especially from Chloe and Christine. He looks up briefly from his phone, seeing Jeremy messing with the hem of his shirt. 

 

His gaze darts back to his phone when he sees Brooke looking about ready to launch herself at him. Jeremy, Brooke, Chloe, and Jenna all sit together on the couch, Christine sits on the floor, and Rich is pushing Jake’s wheelchair through the plush carpet. 

 

Jake rolls (with help from Rich) in so that he’s the object of everyone’s attention, and begins valiantly.

 

“Tonight, my friends, we are going to right wrongs, make peace with each other, and fix relationships. I-” Michael’s phone starts blaring a song, accidently. Jake glares at him.

 

“Sorry.” Jake goes back to his speech.

 

“A few nights ago, our dearest Michael made a mistake. Anger had fogged the filter from his brain to his mouth, and he-” the song starts again. With wordless instruction from Jake, Rich pushes him over towards Michael.

 

“Jesus, just- get- get off of your phone,” Jake says, reaching for Michael’s phone. Michael shuts it off and stuffs it underneath himself, it pressing against the small of his back. Jake scowls, but lets Rich pull him towards the center again. “What I was  _ saying,”  _ he says, “Is that Michael fucked up. Big time. But, now, we are going to let Michael right his wrong.” Jake turns his upper body towards Michael. “Mister Mell?” The boy in question looks up, and  _ holy shit okay everyone is staring at him okay yeah this is fine this is completely fine. _

 

“U-uh-”  _ Oh, yeah, that’s smooth. Apologize to your boyfriend, dammit!  _ “Jeremy, I’m really, really sorry and I hope and wish you can forgive me.” Chloe snorts. “Fuck off, Valentine.” Michael snips without thinking.”  _ Shit. That’s how you started this whole mess.  _

 

“Now, now, Mister Mell, Missus Valentine will get her due punishment.” Chloe looks horrified. “Mister Heere, anything you want to say to Mister Mell? Physical touch is allowed.” Jeremy nods, gets up, and beckons Michael to come closer to him. 

 

Michael walks up to him, perhaps expecting a hug; he instead gets a punch to the stomach. 

 

A yelp from Brooke and Christine, a cheer from Chloe, and Jenna is giggling. Both Jake and Rich don't say anything, but Jake leans back in his chair and Rich smirks evilly.

 

He wheezes and curls in on himself, coughing and groaning.

 

“Oh  _ Jesus,”  _ he gasps, cringing, “Yeah, I guess I- guess I deserve that.” Jeremy nods.

 

“Hell yeah you deserved that.” Jeremy agrees, then goes to sit back on the couch. Michael sucks in a breath through his teeth, rubbing gingerly where he was sucker-punched. He looks up and sees Chloe raising her hand.

 

“Missus Valentine?” 

 

“Can I bitch-slap him?” Michael flinches,  starts to stand up straight, but ends up slouched to avoid having his muscles scream at him.

 

“No, Missus Valentine. The only person who may have physical contact with Mister Mell is Mister Heere.” 

 

“Damn.” Chloe mutters. Jake waves a hand towards Michael.

 

“You may be seated, Mister Mell.” Michael thankfully goes and sits down, curling up in the chair and in his sweater again. “Missus Valentine, may you please bring yourself into attention?” Chloe jumps, but waves a hand.

 

“Uh, hi.” 

 

“Missus Valentine, while Mister Mell was most undeniably and the one mostly in the wrong, we are aware that how you acted was indeed… Also wrong.” It was clear that Jake was running out of ideas. Either that or he paused for dramatic effect. It didn’t work. Chloe scowled.

 

“How? I was calling him out. Making him know what he had caused.” Rich waved a finger.

 

“Ah, ah, ah, not so fast, Missus Valentine!” He said, pulling out some papers. “I took pictures of and printed the chat in question, and this is what it says.” He cleared his throat. Before he could speak, however, Brooke piped up.

 

“You took the receipts of the chat?” 

 

“Missus Lohst, we do not speak out of turn.” Jake scolds her, and she flushes red. Rich cleared his throat again.

 

“ _ As I was saying,”  _ Rich says, and starts reading. “Text number one, sent at 9:34 PM. ‘Chloe Valentine: you done fucked up, Mikey.’” Michael realizes that he’s going to read every text this way, and groans lightly. 

 

“You don’t have to verbally show your distaste,  _ Mister Mell,”  _ Chloe sneers. Michael sticks his tongue out at her. 

 

“Silence in the court!” Jake demands. Michael looks at Jeremy, who is clearly both enjoying and not enjoying this. They make eye contact for a split second before Michael looks away. Rich continues.

 

“‘Chloe Valentine: do you know what Jeremy is doing?’” And so it went on. Finally, Rich finished. “Now, what we just saw was an aggressive act of protection by Missus Valentine, and a desperate attempt of an apology by Mister Mell.” Jeremy raised his hand. “Mister Heere? What do you have to add?” 

 

“May I bring Mister Mell with me to talk with him? Alone?” 

 

“As long as you don’t fuck in my parent’s bed,” Rich says, all too lightly. Jeremy goes red, and he stands and beckons Michael to come with him. Michael get up and leaves as fast as he can. Rich continues to call Chloe out when Jeremy leads him downstairs. They stopped in a small, low-ceilinged place that had pipes running through the walls. It smelled musty.

 

When Jeremy stopped and turned to face him, Michael feels the scab being ripped off. He tears up as he looks at Jeremy, seeing his boyfriend’s (are they still dating? Or did they ever even break up?) eyebrows furrow in concern. 

 

“Are you okay?” Jeremy asks. Michael only raises and traces his thumb gently over the violet circle under his left eye, choking out,

 

“I should be asking that.” Jeremy cringes. Michael’s stomach feels like it’s cramping from all the guilt he’s built up. “I’m so,  _ so  _ sorry, Jeremy. What I did was- it was fucked up, and I’m sorry for making you go through that, just-  _ fuck,  _ I’m sorry.” Michael tries to blink away his tears, but only succeeding in making them drip down his cheeks. He sniffed. Jeremy wiped away a tear with his thumb, drying it on his jeans. 

 

Despite his strong urge to say ‘it’s okay,’ Jeremy says, “I forgive you, Michael.” Michael made eye contact with him.

 

“Really?” Jeremy nods.

 

“Yeah. I understand that you didn’t mean to, and while I’m still mad at what you said, I’m not going to, like, break up with you or something.”  _ Oh thank the Lord God above from whom all blessings flow.  _

 

“You’re not breaking up with me?” Michael asked, his voice cracking and hoarse and sounding altogether pathetic. Jeremy only laughed a little.

 

“Jesus, no. You know how long I pined after you for? A long-ass time. I’m not breaking up with you now, especially when I just got you.” Jeremy teases Michael. Michael smiles, wiping his eyes embarrassedly. 

 

“Okay.” Silence. Then Jeremy wraps his arms around Michael, resting his head against his chest. Michael freezes for a moment, then returns the favor, holding Jeremy around the waist and pressing his cheek into his hair.

 

Jeremy smelled faintly of lemons, so that was nice. He’s not really sure why he thought that, but- yeah. Lemons smelled good. 

 

Their calm lasts for three seconds longer before getting shattered by Rich.

 

“You better not be fucking!” Jeremy jumped and let go of Michael, blushing. Michael smirked, then let out a loud moan. “Oh, Jesus Christ!” Rich yells. Jeremy laughs.

 

“Oh my god, you just- you-” he slaps Michael on the arm. “Perv.” 

 

“Furry.” Michael replies smoothly. “Wanna go upstairs? Maybe sneak out and play a game over at my house?” Jeremy nods.

 

“Yeah, that would be great!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did consider having them do the do for, you know, the ~50th chapter~ (!!!! 50 chapters!) But then I remembered that I'm only 14 whoops
> 
> My brain is numb omg plz validate me


	51. Chapter 51

_ Bisexuality1: im gonna do it _

 

_ AroAce: do what? _

 

_ Bisexuality1: im exposing people _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: uh oh _

 

_ Gay: how so _

 

_ Bisexuality1: i know secrets _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: what kind of secrets _

 

_ Bisexuality1: thibgs you people never want to be found out kind of secrets _

 

_ Bisexuality1: *things _

 

_ Gay: ruh roh _

 

_ Pansexuality: was that _

 

_ Pansexuality: was that a scooby doo reference  _

 

_ Gay: ;)  _

 

_ AroAce has changed the chat name to exposing people with Rich _

 

_ Gay has changed the chat name to Exposed™  _

 

_ AroAce: yeah that sounds better _

 

_ Gay: exposed™  _

 

_ Bisexuality1: want to know what im exposing _

 

_ Bisexuality2: dont ask _

 

_ Lesbian: im gonna ask _

 

_ Lesbian: what are you exposing _

 

_ Bisexuality2: YOU FOOL _

 

_ Bisexuality1: chloe elise valentine _

 

_ Lesbian: OH NO _

 

_ Lesbian: I AM A FOOL _

 

_ Bisexuality2: YE DID NOT HEED MY WARNING _

 

_ Bisexuality2: NOW YOU  S U F F E R _

 

_ Lesbian: YEKRYOIETDTJSJAFUWTJEUTE _

 

_ AroAce: I’m laughing bye _

 

_ Bisexuality: christine elizabeth-marie cangulia  _

 

_ AroAce: :0  _

 

_ Pansexuality: thats really pretty :0 _

 

_ AroAce: thanks! _

 

_ Bisexuality1: brooke leanne lohst _

 

_ Pansexuality: i didnt expect that _

 

_ Pansexuality: i am a fool _

 

_ Bisexuality2: FOOL  _

 

_ Lesbian: F O O L _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i feel like im gonna regret this _

 

_ Bisexuality1: jeremiah nikolas heere _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: WHAT _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: HOW DO YOU EVEN K N O W THAT _

 

_ Bisexuality1: I KNOW EVERYTHING  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: AAAHHHHH _

 

_ Gay: i tripped over my own feet and fell on my face bc i was laughing so hard at this _

 

_ Pansexuality: what if michaels middle name was ponyboy _

 

_ Lesbian: what _

 

_ Gay: what _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: what _

 

_ Bisexuality2: what  _

 

_ AroAce: What _

 

_ Bisexuality1: michael andrew mell _

 

_ Lesbian: mam _

 

_ Lesbian: m&m  _

 

_ Bisexuality2: B I T C H _

 

_ Gay: IVE BEEN FOUND OUT  _

 

_ Gay has left the chat _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi has added Gay to the chat _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: YOU GO NOWHERE _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: YOU SUFFER WITH US _

 

_ Gay: TOP TEN ANIME BETRAYALS _

 

_ Gay: AND BY MY OWN BOYFRIEND _

 

_ Gay: I CANT BELIEVE THIS  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: AAAAA _

 

_ Bisexuality1: jenna aubrey-amelia rolan _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: dont wear it out  _

 

_ Bisexuality2: im going to have to ask you to stop before you get hurt _

 

_ Bisexuality1: not likely, jakob william dillinger _

 

_ Bisexuality2: YELLING  _

 

_ Lesbian: but wait _

 

_ Lesbian: i know richs full name _

 

_ Bisexuality1: no you dont _

 

_ Lesbian: yes i do _

 

_ Bisexuality1: no _

 

_ Lesbian: yes _

 

_ Bisexuality1: please no _

 

_ Lesbian: richard robert goranski _

 

_ Bisexuality1: I HATE YOU _

 

_ Gay: robert _

 

_ Pansexuality: robert _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: robert _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: robert _

 

_ Bisexuality2: robert  _

 

_ AroAce: Robert _

 

_ Bisexuality1: i am,,,, humiliated _

 

_ Lesbian: the fooler becomes the foolish _

 

_ Bisexuality1: but i was named after my 7 great grandfather _

 

_ Gay: yes ok but why _

 

_ Gay: robert _

 

_ Pansexuality: robert  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: robert _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: robert _

 

_ Bisexuality2: robert _

 

_ AroAce: Robert _

 

_ Bisexuality1 has left the chat _

 

_ Lesbian: good _


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: the texting part of this chapter talks about the events of the Halloween party, with Chloe, Jeremy, and the SQUIP. It ends at {8:06 PM}, and then its all done. You don't have to read it if you don't want to!!
> 
> Also, Chloe jokingly calls Michael a 'hoe,' but its completely in a joking manner, if you don't want to read that, you can skip completely over the texting part of this chapter.

_ {7:34 PM}  _

 

_ Gay has sent a private message to Lesbian  _

 

_ Gay: so what was your punishment  _

 

_ Lesbian: they all pinched me _

 

_ Gay: oh _

 

_ Lesbian: dont laugh at me mell _

 

_ Lesbian: brookie can pinch like a bitch _

 

_ Gay: … Brookie? _

 

_ Lesbian: BROOKE I MEANT BROOKE _

 

_ Lesbian: she pinches hard _

 

_ Gay: i see _

 

_ Gay: im sorry _

 

_ Lesbian: … for what? _

 

_ Gay: you know  _

 

_ Gay: for calling you and brooke out like that _

 

_ Lesbian: i dont even remember that night. _

 

_ Gay: no? _

 

_ Lesbian: jeremy doesnt talk about it, and everyone else was so grossly intoxicated, and brooke only told me that i kissed him, but i know thats not the whole story. _

 

_ Gay: well, he told me  _

 

_ Gay: you tried to have sex with him _

 

_ Lesbian: well shit _

 

_ Gay: without his consent _

 

_ Lesbian: oh god  _

 

_ Lesbian: oh my fucking god _

 

_ Lesbian: fuckfuckfuckfuck _

 

_ Lesbian: oh my god, i feel so guilty ohhhh my god _

 

_ Lesbian: i kinda remember him shoving me, why didnt he do it sooner??  _

 

_ Gay: the squip  _

 

_ Gay: it froze his body or something so he couldnt move _

 

_ Gay: it told him that he had to ‘be a man’ even though he didn't want to _

 

_ Lesbian: fuck _

 

_ Lesbian: i want to fucking rip that computers eye out with a spoon _

 

_ Lesbian: should i go talk to jeremy about it??? Or is he gonna freak out? _

 

_ Gay: if you approach the matter lightly, and dont place any blame on him he should be fine _

 

_ Lesbian: why would i place the blame on him oh my god  _

 

_ Gay: the squip, once again _

 

_ Lesbian: im kicking that tictac in the balls  _

 

_ {7:45 PM} _

 

_ Lesbian has sent a private message to FtMTrans&Bi  _

 

_ Lesbian: jeremy? _

 

_ Lesbian: you up? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ah, the infamous ‘you up’ text _

 

_ Lesbian: haha _

 

_ Lesbian: im not sure how to approach this… _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: what? _

 

_ Lesbian: michael told me about the Halloween party _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: oh _

 

_ Lesbian: im so sorry, jeremy _

 

_ Lesbian: you know how cool i thought drinking was then _

 

_ Lesbian: i shouldve never drank that night _

 

_ Lesbian: im sorry _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i forgive you _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: the squip is to blame, really. _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: or me, i shouldve never taken that pill _

 

_ Lesbian: jeremy, no! _

 

_ Lesbian: this is NOT your fault. That stale tictac is to blame, okay? _

 

_ Lesbian: none of this is your fault. _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i left michael _

 

_ Lesbian: because the squip blocked him from your sight, jeremy. You couldnt see him, you were drunk, and im assuming our… encounter had just happened. _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: kinda _

 

_ Lesbian: im coming over _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: why? _

 

_ Lesbian: i need to talk to you in person. Do you have eggs, milk, and butter? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: thats a,,,, strange question  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: but yeah _

 

_ Lesbian: alrighty ill be there in a jiffy _

 

_ Lesbian: you want michael to come? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: sure _

 

_ Lesbian: ok _

 

_ {8:06 PM}  _

 

_ Lesbian to Gay _

 

_ Lesbian: come over hoe we’re making a cake _

 

_ Lesbian has gone offline _

 

_ Gay: wait at whose house _

 

_ Lesbian is now online _

 

_ Lesbian: jeremys house _

 

_ Lesbian: now let me make my intended dramatic exit _

 

_ Gay: ok _

 

_ Lesbian: come over hoe we’re making a cake  _

 

_ Lesbian has gone offline  _

_ \--- _

“That sounded a lot more badass in my head,” Chloe remarked to herself as she stood in the cake aisle at the store. She picked out a vanilla mix and placed it next to the heavy whipping cream she had gotten at the dairy section, and the confectioners sugar, picked up from the dry goods.

 

She strolled to the ice cream section, grabbing a few pint-sized tubs of ice cream, then felt someone staring at her. She turned to see a guy who was about twenty, who really wasn’t that attractive. Poor guy.

 

Spinning on her heel, she called over her shoulder, 

 

“I’m lesbian, so don’t even think about it,” she walked away quickly, giggling to herself when she was sure she was alone. “ _ That  _ was badass.” 

 

When she was in line to be checked out, an old man turned to her and said,

 

“Miss, how old do I look?” 

 

“Not a day over sixty-nine, sir.” His face lit up, then he turned back to his wife.

 

“See? I  _ don’t  _ look like I’m eighty-seven.” Chloe giggled a little. She scanned her items, (including a few bars of Hershey’s chocolate, because fuck it, prom was coming up soon and she never had to go to high school again, so hasta la vista, fuckers. She’s eating chocolate.) 

\---

She knocked on the door, and Jeremy answers, Michael behind him. 

 

“Did I interrupt something?” Chloe asks innocently, and they both flush, but Michael jokingly makes a lewd gesture with his hand.

 

“Maybe.” Michael winked at the back of Jeremy’s head. The boy pouted.

 

“Rude.” He then takes in the bag Chloe is holding. “What’s in there?” Chloe pulled out the cake mix, chocolate, confectioners sugar, and whipping cream, plunking them all down on the counter by her hip.

 

“We be making a cake, bitches!” She cheered. Jeremy shushed her.

 

“Be quiet, my dad works tonight.” 

 

“Sorry.” She repeated it, quieter this time. “We be making a cake, bitches!” 

 

“Why?” Jeremy looked confused, along with Michael.

 

“Because. This is what I do when I want to talk to my friends.” 

 

“Oh.” The two boys said, then Jeremy pointed towards the fridge. “The butter and milk and stuff is in there.” Chloe grabbed tge Hersey’s bars, walked over to the fridge, opened it, got out the ingredients, and put them down. She then put the chocolate in the freezer.

 

“Okay, Jeremy, I’m putting you in charge of the cake mix.” 

 

“Wait, we have to do  _ work?”  _ Michael whined, swinging down from the table he was on. “I thought we were going to be able to just eat the cake mix out of the box.” Chloe’s lip curled up. 

 

“You  _ do  _ that?” Jeremy and Michael looked at each other, looked back at Chloe, then nodded. Chloe scoffed.  _ “Boys.”  _

 

_ “Girl,”  _ Michael said right back, making Jeremy giggle. Chloe just threw the whipping cream towards him.

 

“For that, you’re making the frosting.” Michael groaned. “And I’ll supervise and be the adult.” 

 

“Shouldn't the oldest be the adult?” Jeremy asked, squatting and getting pots from the door below the counter. “My birthday’s August 19.” 

 

“Mines July 11.” Michael said, swirling the cream around in the jar. Chloe processed that, then her jaw dropped.

 

“7/11. Your birthday is 7/11.” Michael nodded. “ _Seven_ _eleven,”_ she whispered, amazed.

 

“Yep, its both a blessing and a curse.” Chloe rubbed her eyes.

 

“Well, mines January 1.” Michael raised an eyebrow.

 

“New Years baby?” Chloe nodded. 

 

“Yep. Mom was crossing her legs until 12:01, then told dad to take her to the hospital.” Jeremy hummed.

 

“Okay, fine, Chloe’s the adult.” He put down the mixer and rubber spatula by Michael, and the other bowls for himself. “Lets just make this cake.” 

 

“Should I play music?” Michael asked. Jeremy shook his head.

 

“No. I know you’ll play that goddamn cake song from that one show.” Chloe snorted.

 

“You downloaded that?” Michael nodded, smiling proudly.

 

“Best use of 5 dollars I’ll ever use,” he tapped the phone screen. “Fine, Jeremy, want to listen to Fall Out Boy?” He asked, his thumb hovering over his screen. Jeremy gave him a dead-eyed look. 

 

“If the Bee Movie or ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ starts playing, you’re not going to have a boyfriend anymore.” Michael put his hands up in surrender.

 

“Okay, okay, Fall Out Boy it is.” He said, tapping the screen the turning his phone off.Thanks For The Memories’ started playing.

 

“Oh, this is nostalgic,” Chloe said dreamily, searching for scissors to cut the cake bag open. She found it, then moved nimbly around Jeremy, grabbing the bag of cake mix and cutting it. Jeremy took it, pouring it into the bowl he had. 

 

When Michael discovered that he was not in use at the time, he stood and went behind Jeremy, wrapping his arms around him. Jeremy shrugged his shoulders to free them a bit, then went on his way, cracking eggs and humming. Chloe and Michael made eye contact, and she winked at him. Michael decided to try and piss Jeremy off.

 

Michael started to absent-mindedly play around with Jeremy’s ear, biting it gently. Jeremy made a small sound of surprise, but then continued making the cake batter. 

 

Until Michael bit a little harder.

 

“Ow!” Jeremy shrieked, wiggling out of Michael’s arms. He rubbed his ear, and turned so that he was facing Michael, an angry look on his face. “You almost bit my ear off!” 

 

“What?!” Michael laughed. “No, I didn’t!” Jeremy stomped his foot childishly. 

 

“Yes, you  _ did!”  _ Michael giggled again, rubbing his nose. Chloe was nearly on the floor laughing.

 

“Fine, okay, I almost bit your ear off, I’m sorry.” 

 

“You better be.”


	53. Not A Chapter But A PSA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this whole chapter talks about my experiences with emotional abuse, and I talk a little about 'Do You Wanna Hang?' So you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

The thing with emotional abuse is, for me at least, is that you don’t know you’re being abused until you later think about it. This is not a chapter for the sole reason of that I need to talk about this.

 

Emotional abuse is complicated. You get these words thrown at you, with ‘I’m just trying to help you’ or ‘this is going to make your life better’ tacked on at the end, and I believed that. I honestly felt like what I was doing was wrong, and I tried to fix it, losing my personality in the process. 

 

When, really, I was making simple mistakes because I’m, surprise, a human, and double surprise, I’m a teenager. 

 

With my abuser, I have to mentally pick apart what I would say to them, finding every little spot where they would find fault, then berate me endlessly until I was in tears. Of course, I would then be told to ‘stop crying’ and ‘I’m not hurting you, I’m helping you.’ 

 

Also, with my abuser, I loved them. I still do! I see them most everyday, sometimes from 7 in the morning to 11 or midnight. They’re practically apart of my family, and I embrace them as such. 

 

And, since I’m so close to them, I defend their actions. When people would criticize them, I would and do always step up, with things like ‘They’re just trying to help’ or ‘They didn’t mean it like that.’ 

 

The other thing with my experience with emotional abuse is that I have legitimate triggers. They don’t send me into a can’t-breathe, wanna-die panic attack, but they affect me hard. The phrases of ‘It’s not cute or funny,’ ‘are you listening to me?’ and ‘shut your mouth’ are triggering to me, and when people clap their hands without me expecting or get angry really quickly, those are triggers too. I’m usually a very bubbly, happy-go-lucky, Michael-Mell-mixed-with-Christine-Cangulia person, but if people do any of my triggers, I become very closed off and cold, snapping easily at people and becoming very dark and moody. 

 

There are things I have to separate myself from, also. For a month I had to get ‘The Outsiders’ book out of my sight, I hated parades for two weeks, and I had to give a present a friend gave to me back, because my abuser berated me horribly about those things. I can’t even listen to some music because it reminds me of them, and even stupid Harry Potter memes make me shaky and nauseous. 

 

Now, you may be asking, how does this all fit in with the story? Why did you give us this rant instead of a chapter? Because  _ this is what the SQUIP would do.  _ The SQUIP is emotionally abusive with the electric pulses, the constant berating, and the ever famous ‘everything about you is so terrible/everything about you makes me wanna die.’ 

 

This is what is so groundbreaking with Be More Chill. They gave us this kid, he’s flawed, but he’s a good kid, and they gave him someone who wants to ‘help,’ or, in the SQUIP’s case, ‘succeed in his goal.’ In the process of ‘becoming more chill,’ the kid, who was pretty okay in the beginning, becomes this puppet who accidently hurts people, loses himself, and does anything to ‘become perfect’ or ‘get with Christine.’ This is why I relate so much to Jeremy.

 

This is also why I get so pissed off at people who ignore Jeremy’s mental scarring. Just because he hurt the fan favorite, (I love Michael, don’t get me wrong) doesn’t mean that his abuse is any less real. Jeremy (and Rich, if I’m correct) should be the most traumatized ones of their friend group, not Michael, just because he was called a loser once. (And I know people are going to get mad as hell at me for saying that, and I know that Jeremy was the one who called him a loser, but honestly. I’ve been called worse by my family, and I’m pretty much fine.) 

 

‘Voices In My Head’ is so relatable to me because the SQUIP saying ‘I’m still here’ and ‘you can’t get rid of me’ is so true with my experience. There’s always a little voice in the back of my head, trying to take over, when I usually give it my mental middle finger, but it sometimes takes me over. I follow what the voice tells me to do, because with me I’m always terrified that someone’s going to know my abuser and tell them what I did, giving them more ammunition to fire at me. (@my seventh grade math teacher: fuck off. You had no right to tell them about my problems in your class. You don’t even remember my name, but you feel obligated to gossip about me with someone who has no right to know? Screw off.) 

 

Now, to the main part of this. A lot of you have been asking me if I can, or if I would ever write Michael and Jeremy having sex. My answer: no. I will not. Here’s why. There's one reason, and one reason only.

 

*A part of the SQUIP’s abuse was sex. It plays a big role.

The whole sexual undertones of Be More Chill pretty much builds to this. The SQUIP tells Jeremy that he has to have sex to be a man, and even  _ subjects him to potential sexual assault.  _ Jeremy could’ve been hurt badly by Chloe, and even by Brooke. The cast recording of ‘Do You Wanna Hang?’ doesn’t really show Jeremy’s panic, but I’ll bet you that Jeremy is panicking like hell onstage when it's live. 

 

The matsubation is huge in this, also. I’m kinda tired of reading fics where it's basically:

 

Jeremy: oh thank god, the SQUIP is gone! I can jack off again! Yay! 

 

No. I feel that Jeremy would feel physical and mental revulsion at the thought of masubating after the SQUIP is gone, for at least a year and a half. This is tracing back to thinking about something, or being in a place where it brings back bad memories, and it brings me, at least to the point of dizziness and panic.

 

That’s why I will not write sex in this story. Jeremy was hurt badly by the SQUIP, and sex is one of the things that was used against him. 

 

I hope you will forgive this rant. I just needed to get it off of my chest.


	54. They're all sleep drunk forgive them

_ {3:45 AM on Sunday, July 30}  _

 

_ Pansexuality: a-ok yall i got somethin to say _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: girl you high _

 

_ Pansexuality: its currently 2:45 AM where I am rn and ughhh  _

 

_ Pansexuality: just lemme rant _

 

_ AroAce: its almost 4 this better be good _

 

_ Gay: christine is getting s a l t y mmmmm _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: we’re all sleep drunk _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: forgive us _

 

_ Pansexuality: anyways _

 

_ Pansexuality: ive been watching twilight  _

 

_ Lesbian has gone offline  _

 

_ Bisexuality2: come back _

 

_ Lesbian is now online  _

 

_ Lesbian: brooke sweetheart just go to sleep _

 

_ Pansexuality: nO _

 

_ Pansexuality: not until i tell you people  _

 

_ Pansexuality: why is it that in werewolf/vampire relationships the girl is the vamp and the boy is the wolf _

 

_ Bisexuality1: bc vampires are ““““““sexy””””””  _

 

_ Bisexuality1: and werewolves are ““““““rugged””””  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i would fuck a werewolf _

 

_ Pansexuality: what _

 

_ AroAce: what _

 

_ Bisexuality2: what _

 

_ Lesbian has gone offline  _

 

_ Bisexuality1 has gone offline _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi has gone offline  _

 

_ Gay: jere _

 

_ Gay: bebe _

 

_ Gay: light of my life _

 

_ Gay: go to sleep _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: why sleep when i can scare my friends  _

 

_ AroAce: plz jeremy go to bed _

 

_ AroAce: now _

 

_ AroAce: right now before you get hurt  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: fiiiiiine _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi has gone offline  _

 

_ Gay: hes sleep drunk forgive him _

 

_ Pansexuality: that was A Lot and I did not expect that _

 

_ Pansexuality has gone offline  _

 

_ Gay has gone offline _

 

_ Bisexuality2: i guess its just me myself and i _

 

_ AroAce: im still here _

 

_ Bisexuality2: GAH _

 

_ Bisexuality2:  I FORGOT ABOUT YOU IM SO SORRY CHRISTINE _

 

_ AroAce: lmao its fine _

 

_ AroAce: go to bed plz jake _

 

_ Bisexuality2: roger that  _

 

_ Bisexuality2 has gone offline  _

  
  


_ {12:32 AM on August 1}  _

  
  


_ Pansexuality: why do vampires always attack people when theyre hungry _

 

_ Pansexuality: drink your own blood you thirsty fucks _

 

_ Bisexuality1: why does this keep happening _

 

_ Bisexuality2: bc drinking your own blood hurts jesus _

 

_ Lesbian: jake is a vamp 2k17 _

 

_ Bisexuality2: no wait  _

 

_ Bisexuality2: thats not what I meant _

 

_ Gay: dont vamps get like _

 

_ Gay: real skinny and pale and shit  _

 

_ Gay: and blood keeps them healthy _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: why do you know this _

 

_ Gay: why do you want to fuck a werewolf  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ok true _

 

_ Bisexuality2: o yea jere _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: jakey d _

 

_ Bisexuality2: i was on tumblr and some furry porn showed up and i thought of u _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: how romantic _

 

_ Gay: w h a t _

 

_ Lesbian: what the hell _

 

_ Bisexuality1: why is furry porn showing up on ur dash _

 

_ Bisexuality1: jake _

 

_ Bisexuality1: jake im scared _

 

_ Bisexuality2: i followed some blogs that followed me bc i believe in follow for follow and they were furry porn blogs  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: this is why you dont do follow for follow _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: life lesson kids _

 

_ Lesbian: oh yea i almost forgot  _

 

_ Lesbian: me & my family were watching coraline with these tiny children  _

 

_ Pansexuality: why _

 

_ Lesbian: i dunno  _

 

_ Lesbian: my dad said that it shouldn't’ve been that scary bc it was for kids _

 

_ Bisexuality2: your father is a fool _

 

_ Lesbian: i know right _

 

_ Lesbian: so we get to the part where the other mother is chasing coraline through that trippy ass scene that i can confidently say gave all of us nightmares _

 

_ Gay: rt _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: rt _

 

_ Pansexuality: rt _

 

_ Bisexuality1: rt _

 

_ Bisexuality2: rt _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: rt _

 

_ AroAce: rt _

 

_ Lesbian: and the kids (who are all under ten) looked absolutely terrified so i said _

 

_ Lesbian: ‘ah yes me when i wake up in the morning’  _

 

_ Gay: mEEEEEEEE  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: when i catch u stealing my food _

 

_ AroAce: when i dont get the part in the play _

 

_ Pansexuality: IM DYIGN AT CHRISTINES  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: IM DYIN SCOOB _

 

_ Bisexuality1: i think we all agree that christine elizabeth-marie cangulia is the true memer of this group _

 

_ Bisexuality2: rt _

 

_ Lesbian: rt _

 

_ Gay: rt _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: rt _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: rt _

 

_ Pansexuality: rt _

 

_ AroAce: thank you for this position  _

 

_ AroAce: i would like to thank the academy  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: why are we all awake again _

 

_ Gay: please dont start having an existential crisis _

 

_ Lesbian: im awake bc that scene with the other mother is the fucking scariest thing ive ever seen in my life _

 

_ Lesbian: and ive been in bed with jake _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: ooHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: ROASTED  _

 

_ Gay: IM CRYIN AND DYIN SCOOB  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i need to stop laughing  _

 

_ Bisexuality2: well then chlo _

 

_ Bisexuality2 has gone offline  _

 

_ Gay: hes so angry _

 

_ Gay: hes gonna explode he cant take it _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: is that a reference to the outsiders _

 

_ Gay: you dig okay baby _

 

_ AroAce: ew romance _

 

_ Lesbian: we all love you christine _

 

_ AroAce: <3 yaay _

__

_ Bisexuality1: ur our best memer we have to love you _

 

_ AroAce: you guys are so sweet <3  _

__

_ AroAce: im going to bed night _

 

_ Gay: night _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: night _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: night _

 

_ Bisexuality2: night _

 

_ Bisexuality1: night _

 

_ Lesbian: night _

 

_ Pansexuality: night night sleep tight  _

 

_ AroAce: <3 _

 

_ AroAce has gone offline  _


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter deals with the SQUIP. It includes intentional misgendering, mentions of 'Do You Wanna Hang?' And Jeremy does use a needle to give himself T. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to!
> 
> Honestly my friends I need requests or else this will become an angstfest

In the beginning, the SQUIP was amazing.

 

_Jeremy Heere._

 

Yeah, that’s… that’s my name.

 

_Why do you hesitate?_

 

I dunno, it’s just…

 

_Wait, downloading new information. Ah, I see._

 

Uh oh.

 

_You’re a transgender male?_

 

Uh, yeah, I am.

 

_You even stutter in your head. This is going to be hard work._

 

Wait, you’re not going to… criticize me?

 

_Why would I? According to some studies done, transgendered individuals have the brain of their actual gender. As in, a transgendered male has a male brain instead of a female’s, and a transgendered female has the brain of a female, instead of a male._

 

That’s… amazing! I have to tell Michael.

 

_Michael?_

 

Yeah, he’s-

 

_Now downloading information. Michael Andrew Mell, your best friend since… kindergarten?_

 

Yep, that’s him.

 

_Oh my God._

 

What?

 

_Your first lesson is to never say ‘yep’ again. It’s not cute or cool._

 

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

 

 _Jeremiah Nikolas Heere._ Jeremy giggled.

 

Sorry.

 

_Now, the second thing I want you to do is to buy a shirt._

 

A what?

 

_A shirt. You do know what a shirt is, don’t you?_

 

Ha, ha, ha. Yes, I know what a shirt is.

 

_Good. Go buy one._

 

Uh… Okay.

 

_What did I say about stuttering?_

 

Sorry. Jeremy entered the store.

 

_Now, pick a shirt._

 

Jeremy grabbed the first shirt he saw.

 

_That’s a girl’s shirt._

 

Whoops.

 

_Jeremy, if you want to pass, you have to look masculine at. All. Times. Do you understand?_

 

Uh, yeah, yeah I do.

 

_Good. Now go find another shirt._

\---

 

The SQUIP would give him tips on how to pass better. It would gently remind him to take his binder off after eight hours, remind him to take his T, console him through dysphoria, and a lot more.

 

Then… it didn’t.

 

_Jeremy, look. Do you think Christine wants a boy like you?_

 

What do you mean?

 

_As in, a boy she can’t have sex with. A boy with the same reproductive parts as she._

 

How do you know if Christine wants sex? She could just want to have a clean relationship.

 

_Jeremy, you’re in high school. High school literally has ‘sex’ written all over it._

 

Are you referring to the time Michael and I graffitied ‘sex’ all over the boy’s bathroom?

 

_It was more of a figurative way of looking at it, but yes, you may see it that way._

 

Oh.

 

_So, Jeremy. What do you want to do about that?_

 

...Is it unhealthy to leave my binder on for longer than eight hours?

 

_Extremely. Side effects of binding for excessive amounts of time include, but are not limited to: broken ribs, fractured ribs, bruising, open wounds, and breast cancer._

 

Cancer?!

 

_I’m afraid so. Any other ideas?_

 

Well, I don’t want to quit practice…

 

_That would be stupid, considering all the work you put into it._

 

Maybe…

 

_And no unsafe binding, either._

 

Okay, okay.

 

_I would suggest wearing baggier clothes. As in, more sweatshirts, cardigans, etc._

 

I can’t afford those.

 

_Yes you can. How much money of your Bat Mitzvah do you have left?_

 

Around 70 dollars.

 

_That will be enough._

\---

It slowly got worse. The SQUIP would still remind him to take his binder off, but would quietly jab at the T.

 

_Don’t you think you’ve taken enough T?_

 

No. I don’t look masculine enough. You said so yourself.

 

_But Jeremy, girls like girly-looking boys. They think it’s cute._

 

Well, too bad.

 

He held the needle to his hip, where he had chosen to inject his T, and started building up his courage.

 

_I wouldn’t do that if I were you._

 

Why?!

 

_Because. You look very sweet and vulnerable right now, which is very attractive._

I don’t want to look vulnerable or sweet! I want to look like a man!

 

 _Okay, whatever, do what you want._ His mind went strangely quiet.

 

...Hello?

 

_I’m still here._

 

Oh. Okay. Cool.

 

_My offer still stands._

 

No.

\---

The first time the SQUIP dead-names him, its during the Halloween party.

 

Chloe had just nearly did… something. He didn’t remember. He didn’t _want_ to remember.

 

_Jeremy, go find Brooke._

 

No.

 

_What did you say to me?_

 

No, I will not go find Brooke. I’m tired. I want to go home.

 

_You can go home soon. Now, though, go find Brooke._

 

I don’t want to! A headache was forming.

 

_Jeremiah Nikolas Heere, do as I say._

 

No. I’m going home. He walked towards the door.

 

_Joanna Kaylee Heere, you stop moving towards that door this instant!_

 

Jeremy froze. Crushing emotions washed over him, all of them confusing and on the spectrum of sadness and anger.

 

Don’t ever call me that. Never. _Never again._

 

_I apologize. It was only to make you stop moving around and listen to me. Now, go. Find. Brooke._

  
He started to look for Brooke.


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JAKE IS NON BINARY SORRY I DONT MAKE THE RULES

_Bisexuality2: uhhhhhhhhh_

 

_Gay: same_

 

_Bisexuality2: so ive been soul searching_

 

_Lesbian: search the soul_

 

_Bisexuality2: im still mad at you chloe shshshshsh_

 

_Bisexuality2: so my entire life ive been feeling like im not my assigned gender_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: one of us _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: one of us _

 

_Bisexuality2: and during the squipcident i started thinkin about it_

 

_Bisexuality2: and the squip told me about it_

 

_Bisexuality2: so_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: oNe Of Us _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: oNE Of uS _

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: ONE OF US _

 

_Bisexuality2: SSHSHSHSHSHSHSH_

 

_Bisexuality2: WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS_

 

_Bisexuality2: YOUR BOY ISNT A BOY_

 

_Bisexuality2: IM NON BINARY_

 

_Gay: cool_

 

_Lesbian: okay_

 

_Bisexuality1: i knew something before you guys did haha_

 

_AroAce: we know, Richard Robert Goranski_

 

_Gay: robert_

 

_Pansexuality: robert_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: robert_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: robert_

 

_Bisexuality2: robert_

 

_AroAce: Robert_

 

_Bisexuality1: GAH_

 

_Bisexuality1: THWARTED BY MY OWN NAME_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: so… pronouns? _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: are you changing your name? _

 

_Bisexuality2: to answer jennas question: they/them_

 

_Bisexuality2: and to answey jeremys: nah lmao_

 

_Bisexuality2: i like the name jake, but you can call me j if you want i mean i dont care_

 

_Pansexuality: k cool_

 

_Bisexuality2: and now_

 

_Bisexuality2: that you know my true self_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: wait you should change your username to Nonbi&Bi _

 

_Bisexuality2: good idea_

 

_Bisexuality2 has changed their name to Nonbi &Bi _

 

_Nonbi &Bi: whoo hoo _

 

_Nonbi &Bi: now to the main event _

 

_Bisexuality1: jakes wearin a dress to prom_

 

_Nonbi &Bi: SPOILER ALERT _

 

_Lesbian: oh my goodness_

 

_Lesbian: im laughin sorry_

 

_Bisexuality1: dont laugh at my datemate they are beautiful_

 

_Nonbi &Bi: haha im more beautiful than chloe _

 

_Bisexuality1: now i never said that_

 

_Lesbian: (○-○)_

 

_Nonbi &Bi: oh no _

 

_Nonbi &Bi: i have made a mistake _

 

_Lesbian: (^_^)_

 

_Gay: you stop that_

 

_Lesbian: ( >°<) _

 

_Gay: you stop that right now_

 

_Pansexuality: anyways @chloe go to prom with jenna and me thnks_

 

_Lesbian: wha_

 

_Lesbian: i mean_

 

_Lesbian: sure_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: yaay! _

 

_Pansexuality: whoo hoo!_

 

_Lesbian: we should discuss this on our private groupchat_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: good plan _

 

_MtFTrans &Bi has gone offline _

 

_Lesbian has gone offline_

 

_Pansexuality has gone offline_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: oH FUCK ME _

 

_Gay: gladly_

 

_Gay: whats wrong_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: i’M DRIVING AROUND AND LOOKIN FOR A PARKIN SPACE AND I GET EXCITED BC I SEE A OPEN ONE BUT THEN I GET CLOSER AND OHHHH NOOOOO _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: THERES A TINY ASS CAR IN THE SPACE _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: TINY CARS MAN _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: THEY DECEIVE _

 

_Nonbi &Bi: no textin while drivin jere _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: nO tExTiN wHiLe DrIvInG jERe _

 

_Nonbi &Bi: okay thats just rude _

 

_AroAce: im_

 

_Gay: jere where are you_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: searchin for a suit for prom _

 

_AroAce: youre going to prom??_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: yep _

 

_AroAce: awesome!_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: are you goin, christine? _

 

_AroAce: uh huh! I’m goin for the dancin and stuff_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: cool _


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yo friendly neighborhood Jake Dillinger here to tell you to not call them a boy!! They are not a boy!!

All Jake’s life, they never felt like a boy. They never felt like a  _ girl,  _ either, so they just assumed it was that puberty that their mom, dad, and school went on about.

 

Until they got a SQUIP. 

 

_ Downloading new information. _

 

What’s there to download? 

 

_ Everything. You’re a Marvel fan? Spiderman, to be more specific? _

 

Don’t tell anyone that.

 

_ I’m inside your brain, Jake, it’s physically impossible for me to tell anyone.  _

 

Okay. 

 

_ Do you wish for me to change my form from my default setting of Keanu Reeves? _

 

There’s more?

 

_ Definitely. My files include Matt Dillon, Ben Platt, Diane Lane, Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, Kermit the Frog, and many more. _

 

Wait. What kind of idiot would choose Kermit the Frog?

 

_ You’ll be surprised. Now, pick your form of choice.  _

 

Do you have any more?

 

_ Definitely. Do you have any preference? _

 

Maybe… childrens movies?

 

_ For a popular kid, Jake, you really are quite childish. _

 

Be quiet.

 

_ My ‘childrens movies’ files include: Bianca from The Rescuers, Peter Parker from the original Spiderman series, Batman from the original Batman series, Air Bud from Air Bud- _

 

Air Bud.

 

_ Are you positive you want this form? It cannot be changed. _

 

Really? 

 

_ No, I’m kidding. You can change my form whenever you want. _

 

Who taught you sarcasm? 

 

_ The internet.  _

 

Ha, ha, ha. Yes, I select Air Bud.

 

_ This isn’t a video game.  _ However, soon the iconic golden retriever was standing in front of him. It barked, but it sounded sarcastic.  _ Are you satisfied with this choice?  _

 

I thought you said that this wasn’t a video game.

 

_ Touche.  _ Someone was yelling distantly, so Jake got up on his crutches.

 

_ Downloading new information. Jake Dillinger, you are non-binary. _

 

I’m what?

 

_ Non-binary. Its when a person is either both male and female, or neither. It seems that you are-  _

 

Okay, yeah, please be quiet. Air Bud was starting to freak him out. 

\---

Even after the whole squipcident, Jake still thought about what his (their?) SQUIP said. Was it true?

 

He started doing more research. He looked up interviews, Wikipedia articles (only when he (they?) was (were? This is confusing) desperate, because Jake didn’t trust Wiki for shit. 

 

He (they. You know what, fuck it, they, they,  _ they)  _ related to people who were neither boy or girl. 

 

Jake Dillinger was non-binary, thank you very much. 

 

They first came out to Rich. 

 

“Cool,” Rich said, then looked back down at his math homework. “Now help me with this math.” Jake laughed, then started coaching their boyfriend through the pre-calc that was threatening to explode his brain and have it leak out of his ears. (That’s how Rich put it. If it was up to Jake, the math was fun. Rich threatened to break up with them if they had ever said that again.) 

 

Then they came out to the SQUIP Squad. (They hated to admit it, but the name was growing on them.) They were then swept into a group chat with Jeremy and Jenna. (Ha, ha, ha. J, J, and J.) 

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: and we will name the chat ‘fuck your gender assumptions’  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: fuck yea _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi has changed the chat name to Fuck Your Gender Assumptions  _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: i honestly think its funny bc like _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: j, j and j _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: WE CRACKED THE CODE _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: HOLY COW  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: now if youll excuse me my two beautiful girlfriends are texting me _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi has gone offline  _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: two? Two?? Wheres my one beautiful girlfriend _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: that was chloe you dumbass _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: besides you have rich and he is Gorgeous™ _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: aww thanks uwu _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: tell michael hes hot  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ‘call me ill fuck whenever’  _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: N I C E  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ASDGKENWFBE THATS MY BOYFRIEND  _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: YYOU CALLED MY BOYFRIEND GORGEOUS™ I THINK I HAVE A RIGHT TOO _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ok true _


	58. Chapter 58

_ FtMTrans&Bi to Fuck Your Gender Assumptions  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: we must recruit more ‘j’s’ who hold their middle finger up to being cis _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: on it _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: THERE WAS A KID NAMED JD IN LIKE THE 80’S AND HES DEAD BUT I WAS ABOUT TO GO FIND HIS USERNAME _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE A USERNAME  _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: CAUSE HE DED _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: AND HE WAS IN THE 80’S _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi has added J.Lau to the chat _

 

_ J.Lau: why am i here _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: you are a j _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: you belong _

 

_Nonbi &Bi: ONE OF US_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: ONE OF US _

 

_ J.Lau: why is the chat called ‘Fuck your gender assumptions??’ _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: hahaha about that _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: this was all jeremy's idea dont blame me  _

 

_ J.Lau: wait  _

 

_ J.Lau: what are your names _

 

_ J.Lau: im Josephine _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: jeremy _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: jake _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: im jenna!  _

 

_ J.Lau: oh, i understand now _

 

_ J.Lau: j, j, j and j _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: 4 J’s  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: but i crave m o r e  _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: wait, josephine _

 

_ J.Lau: yeah?  _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: you dont have to answer this, but are you cis? _

 

_ J.Lau: ew no _

 

_ J.Lau: im genderfluid from she/her to they/them :) _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: YOU BELONG WITH ME ILY  _

 

_ J.Lau: uh, okay _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i require m o r e jenna _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: blease master i am weary _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: wtf you only added one person _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: u can sleep when youre dead _

 

_ J.Lau: ?? I am a Refined British Lady I dont need to see this _

_ \--- _

_ MtFTrans&Bi has sent a private message to A.Ham _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: hey uh alexandra is your girlfriend a quote unquote ‘refined british lady’  _

 

_ A.Ham: no wtf she went to england for a year _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: k thnks _

_ \--- _

_ MtFTrans&Bi to Fuck Your Gender Assumptions  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: so alex told me that jo only went to england for a year _

 

_ J.Lau: well shit _

_ \--- _

_ J.Lau to A.Ham _

 

_ J.Lau: how dare you expose me _

 

_ J.Lau: i hate you _

 

_ A.Ham: love you too babe _

_ \---  _

_ MtFTrans&Bi has added InsanelyInsecure to the chat _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: master i have brought another _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: thank u  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: u are dismissed _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: FUCK YEA _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi has gone offline  _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: me before: wtf  _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: me after: im intrigued  _

 

_ J.Lau: you were dragged in too? _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: who tf are you _

 

_ J.Lau: Josephine Laurens _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: k im jared kleinman  _

 

_ J.Lau: I need to go _

 

_ J.Lau has left the chat _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: u made her leave _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: good job jared _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: //fingerguns// _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: cis or nah _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: nah im agender xe/xem _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: ONE OF US _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi is now online  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: ONE OF US _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi has gone offline  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: really? _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: yep pretty much found out a week ago whoopz _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ‘whoopz’  _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: lmao ye _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: but yeah im pretty much still experimenting but im goin with xe/xem for now _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: cool _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: im they/them _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im he/him and a trans boy _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi is now online  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: im she/her and a trans girl! _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi has gone offline  _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: goodbye frien _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: so ok cool im here with other non cis peeps who's names start with j _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: but i really havent told anyone else but evan????  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: we added you and josephine bc j _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: ohh _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: 5 J’s  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i wonder if theres more _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: ill be on the lookout _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: WAIT JONAH BECK _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure has added Frizbe to the chat _

 

_ Frizbe: hi! I dont know who you are but hi! _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: you are a j _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi is now online  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: you belong _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi has gone offline  _

 

_ Frizbe: so im a j… ok cool _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: cis or nah _

 

_ Frizbe: ?? Im not really sure yet…  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ok thats cool jonah _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: 6 J’s  _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: im dyin and cryin bc we’re all in gay (or poly, in the case of jenna) and our names all start with the letter j _

 

_ Frizbe: how do you know about me and cy? _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: our friends saw him ask you out _

 

_ Frizbe: oh ok thats cool _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: hows your relationship goin? _

 

_ Frizbe: !! Really good!  _

 

_ Frizbe: we dont really do a bunch together, but we text a lot and hes really sweet _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: thats really cool, jonah!  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im happy you two are together and in a heathly relationship  _

  
_ Frizbe: :) _


	59. Rich Has Terrible Parents part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oof. Guys, this arc is gonna be painful. This deals with physical, emotional, and verbal abuse, graphic depictions of abuse, and Rich wanting to die. Its very dark. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to.

 

Rich hated his home life.

There was Michael, who had two loving moms; Jeremy, whose mom was a prick, but his dad was amazing; Jenna, whose dad was the sweetest man out there; Christine, who lived with her mom and dad; Brooke, who lived with her mom and sister; Chloe, who had a nice little nuclear family with a mom, dad, sister, and brother; and Jake, whose parents readily accepted their coming out and their relationship with Rich. (Or so they said, but Rich trusted them. They wouldn't lie to him, right?)

Then there was Rich.

His mom seemed nice, sure, but she was a she-demon. Always criticizing little things about Rich, like his lisp and the way he stuck his tongue out when he concentrated, or, his personal favorite, always talking down to him when he ate because, surprise, he was a growing kid.

Really, his whole family did it. Always _‘Wow, you really are hungry’_ or _‘have you gained weight?’_ or, the very worst of all, _‘why do you eat so much? There might be something wrong with you.’_

That was always the big thing. Something being ‘wrong’ with him. When, really, he was just fine. Sure, his anxiety and depression were two bitches to be wrestled with, and his nightmares post-SQUIP were horrible, but he was perfectly, completely fine.

That was the other thing, too. When his depression decided to pop up again, leaving him defenseless against his near-lifeless body and intrusive thoughts that made him want to actually fucking kill himself, he was accused of being lazy. His mom would shake him out of bed, yelling at him for ‘wasting the day’ and ‘lounging around when she did all the work.’

What a bitch. She even knew he had a huge guilt complex, and how he would work himself into a panic after blaming himself for everything and how he could've prevented it. And, when she wanted him to do something for her, she would press a little button that said _guilt trip your son into doing your bidding. Doesn't matter what you do, just do it._

So, yeah. And that was just his mom. His dad wasn’t as bad, if you consider throwing glass beer bottles at Rich’s head and nearly breaking his wrist when he twisted it away from a book not as bad.

He made do, though. He learned how to live. If his mom forbade him from eating the entire day (and that was usually five days a week) he would wait until midnight, when they were definitely asleep, sneak downstairs while missing the third to bottom step because it always creaked, grab some food from the pantry (always dry food, like granola bars and ramen noodle packages and Cheetos) and sneak back upstairs, hiding the food in his closet.

All in a span of 120 seconds. And that was a slow day.

Or, if he was dying (and he meant dying; woozy vision and a throat so dry he could cry) of thirst, and he ran out of water bottles, he would pop the fridge door open by wedging his finger in between the suction things of the fridge door, making an airway, opening the door so that nothing would rattle, take the jug of milk, get a glass (usually a shot glass) fill that with milk, take a drink (but make it last; he wouldn't risk getting another) fill the shot glass with water to where he had filled it with milk, pour it into the jug, close the jug, shake it so that the water mixed in with the milk, then put it back carefully.

If that ever happened, then the process took ten minutes. Ten minutes of his ears almost painfully aware of every creak of the house, ten minutes of his stomach rolling in fear, ten minutes of _what if I get caught oh god what if I get caught I’m gonna die die die_

He doesn't get drinks of milk a lot.

Then, in the morning, he would grab a granola bar, head to school, and sit through all of his classes, plastering smiles on his face and slowly nibbling away at the granola bar. He eats as much as he can during lunch, but when his account is shut down because his parents don’t refill the cash, he’s on his own.

Stupid American school systems.

He still has a granola bar from two months ago, still in his closet. It was half-eaten. He doesn't remember why it wasn’t fully gone. Maybe he forgot about it. Who knew.

No one in his friend group knew. He always high-lighted the good parts of his family, like his cousin Steven who goes to Africa and little William who was only two-and-a-half, and expertly hid the abuse and threats of starvation in the dark.

His life wasn’t a parade of misery. He didn’t _let_ it be that. He always kept busy. He would hang out with the SQUIP Squad, he exercised daily, and he went on dates with Jake.

His life was as good as he could make it.

But, when black dots started spotting his vision, and his head went fuzzy, and he couldn't focus well, he started to get scared. _What was happening to him?_

He tried to look it up, but when WebMD cited it as brain cancer, he gave up. Who could trust the internet, anyways.

He noticed himself getting skinnier. He stared at himself in the mirror, shirtless, for what seemed like hours, taking in every little thing wrong with him. Big and little freckles of varying colors all over his body, bruises from either boots or hands on his torso, and cuts that never healed back when his dad threw glass at him.

He still went around in life, making jokes, texting in the group chat, making his midnight excursions to get his food.

Until he got caught.

He snuck downstairs per usual, went into the pantry, and turned on the light after closing the door. He turned towards where all the food was, then screamed, his brain going numb and his body freezing, but not before he flattened himself against the door.

His dad was leaning against a pantry wall, inspecting his fingernails. He looked up at Rich’s scream, seemingly unperturbed.

“Hello, Richard.” Rich’s mind was running wild. _How did he know who told I wasn’t quiet enough I wasn’t quiet enough nice going you played yourself you utter idiot_

His dad went on. “I woke up to the sound of the water running, a few nights ago.” _You shouldn’t of gotten milk idiot idiot idiot_

His dad walked closer, his face still emotionless. Rich pressed himself against the wall even more, closing his eyes in defense. A quick slap had them open again.

“Look at me when I’m talking!” His dad hissed. Rich looked at him, his eyes large and watering from the slap. “Why were you stealing from us?” His father asked quietly. Rich didn’t answer. “Richard, _answer me._ Why were you stealing from us?” Another step forward. “Richard-”

“I was hungry!” Rich gasped, his legs trembling under his own weight from fear. “I- I was hungry and I wasn’t thinking straight-”

“Hell no, you weren't thinking straight!” His dad suddenly roared, clamping his hand over Rich’s throat, lifting him up and _oh god he couldn't breathe Help me help me please please please help me please I want Jake I want Jake I want them help me Jake please_

“You are the greediest child I have ever met!” His dad yelled, tightening his grip. Rich gasped desperately for air, his hands scrabbling at the wrist pinning him to the wall. _Jake Jake Jake please Jake please_

“Everyday your mother and I work our _asses_ off to pay for this house we live in, and then I find out you were _stealing_ from us? Greedy, filthy child!” Rich was thrown to the ground, cracking his head against a pantry shelf. A loud ringing started in his ears, but when his father started kicking him in the side, his screams pierced through the ringing.

If this was any different, if his father was drunk or doing this for entertainment, he wouldn't of screamed. But fear and all these confusing emotions mixed up into screams, which were released from his throat like a banshee. He was so _scared._

Finally, after what seemed like hours of kicking and stamping on him, his father left.

Then Rich was alone in the pantry. His head was ringing loudly, his eyes burned from tears, and his whole torso smarted and ached so much that more tears came to his eyes. The pantry light was still on, burning holes into Rich’s retinas.

He just lay there, on the ground, until he could roll over and stand, his legs shaking and tears dripping from the pain in his torso.

He finally makes his way upstairs into his room, lying on his bed and groaning at the soft covers. After catching his breath, he looked at his phone, a weak attempt to try and feel like a kid who wasn’t just beat by his father and had a nice family that loved him and didn’t abuse him.

Three new texts in the chat.

_Gay: so i was thinkin and_

_Gay: what if we all wrote the song lyrics stuck in our heads bc apparently that shows what kinda person u are or somethin_

_Gay: its 3;AM_

_Bisexuality1: im up for it_

_Gay: k cool we’ll do it in the mornin_

_Bisexuality1: k_

_Gay: night rich_

_Bisexuality1: night michael_

He put his phone down, then stared at the ceiling blankly. What he wouldn’t give to die right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you.
> 
> What should I call this arc? Let me know in the comments.


	60. Rich Has Terrible Parents part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not as many warnings, but Rich does go into a depressive state at the end. He does express a want to kill himself, also. You don't have to read it if you don't want to.

When Rich wakes up from nearly only three hours of sleep, he’s achy, tears filling up his eyes for what seemed the fiftieth time in the last few hours. His breath hitched as he tried to move his torso, so he resigns to slowly drifting back to sleep, hoping that-

 

“Richard! Get up and get dressed _now!”_

 

Jesus. Never mind. He tries to sit up, but then falls back down, tears spilling.

 

 _“Fuck!”_ He moans, trying to breathe deeply and evenly through his pain. Once it dies down, he moves slowly, grabbing pain medicine from his drawer and swallowing two pills dry, then gets a plastic baggie and dumps the rest of the bottle into the bag, sealing it. He then takes a shaky breath and gets up, squeezing his eyes shut at the pain in his abdomen.

 

He gets dressed, the pain pills slowly working their magic. Thank God. He grabs the baggie and puts it in his backpack, then goes into the bathroom. He cringes at the sight.

 

A purple bruise, shaped just like a hand, is seemingly tattooed across his neck. Morbidly hypnotized, he puts his own hand up to it, measuring how big it is. It’s big.

 

As if in a trance, he starts to squeeze his neck, feeling dull pain as the bruise is irritated. He thinks back to last night, the screams and thuds of boot hitting flesh are all too raw and real. Rich is lost in his memories, squeezing tighter and tighter-

 

 _“Richard!”_ His mom yells again, making him jump and release his neck. He coughs, then yells back,

 

“Coming!” Oh, fuck, his throat is hoarse. He can probably pass it off on sucking Jake’s dick or something, but he’s probably better off with saying he’s coming down with something.

 

He gets foundation and concealing powder, and starts to hide the bruise, his torso throbbing dully.

 

Two minutes later, he sneaks out of the house, running towards his bus stop. His muscles scream at him, but he tells them to push over as he gets on the bus and looks for Jake.

 

Jake waves at him, all the way at the back of the bus. Rich goes and sits by them, the two sharing a quick peck on the lips before the bus starts to move.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey.” Jake’s eyebrows furrow.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with your voice?” Jake asks, the back of their hand pressing against Rich’s forehead. Rich shrugged.

 

“Must be coming down with something, I guess.” They quirk an eyebrow.

 

“At the end of May?” Rich’s smile falters, but he keeps on smiling.

 

“You know me, Jakey D,” he teases them, his datemate rolling their eyes.

 

The school bus pulls to a stop, kids getting up and swarming around the bus. Rich feels trapped _._ He slides down into his seat, his stomach twinging. _Oh, fucking hell. He didn’t pack any food!_

 

He doesn't want to worry Jake, so the both of them get off the bus. Jake goes to their locker, while Rich veers off to the bathroom, sits on a toilet and locks the door.

 

He opens his backpack, feeling around desperately for a bar. Nothing. His mind gets fuzzy with panic. _What’s he going to do? He doesn't have food in his locker, or-_

 

The bell rings. Rich calms himself, then goes and faces the day.

\---

The day was awful. Even when he got home, his mother started berating him on doing his homework, even though he _has_ been doing it, but she doesn’t care.

 

He goes upstairs with a stinging cheek.

 

His stomach snarls at him, and he snarls right back, going to his closet and grabbing a bag of Cheetos and a bottle of water.

 

He doesn’t devour the bag like most expect him to; he instead takes one Cheeto, taking one tiny bite at a time and drinking a bunch of water, convincing his stomach that he’s eating a lot instead of a measly puffed Cheeto. His stomach ache goes away.

 

He cleans his dirty fingers with hand sanitizer, rubbing the dust off of his face with a cloth. He throws them all into the closet.

 

He finishes his math homework in that time, getting pointers and little pick-me-up’s from Jake on their private chat.

 

He’s not called down to dinner. He never is.

\---

His parents leave on a date. Rich is threatened by the fact that there are now cameras in the kitchen and pantry, so _‘don’t be getting any ideas, you insolent child.’_

 

He knows that they’ll be gone until midnight or later, so he relaxes a little. He finishes the rest of his homework, eats another Cheeto, then turns off his light and goes to bed.

 

It’s 7:32 PM and he is _exhausted._ He can tell it's his depression coming back. He mentally prepares himself for the onslaught of suicidal thoughts, then starts to fall asleep.

 

Briefly before he does, however, he thinks of the irony. Who would miss him if he died? Steven, maybe? Or would he be too busy in Africa?

 

William wouldn’t even remember him. 

 

Jake... No, they would get over it. They're strong, they will maybe shed a few tears but then move on. 

 

Its ironic because, without those people in his life, he would be crazier than a shithouse rat. He would've killed himself long before he even met Jake.

 

When had they met?

 

Oh yeah. In seventh grade. 

 

He falls asleep, wishing to never wake up again.


	61. Rich Has Terrible Parents part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Rich, once again, expresses a wish to die, he does self-harm in the firm of biting himself, and he deals with the effects of physical abuse throughout.

Rich is lying on the ground, blood clotting in his throat and his torso numb. It sounds like bees are buzzing in his head, and his eyes are fuzzing out with grey and black spots. His wrist is filled with pins and needles.

 

All of this for accidentally getting in the way of his dad.

 

His phone buzzes. At least he thinks it does; he isn't in the most lucid state of reality right now. His head starts to throb. He coughs wetly, and feels something drip out of his mouth.

 

With shaking fingers that refuse to work to his will he somehow gets his phone out of his pocket, trying to see who is calling him.

 

_Jake._

 

Oh God, his datemate was calling him. What was he going to do? He couldn't hang up, because Jake would roll their ass over to his house and see how much of a mess he was. _Shit._

 

But, if he does pick up, Jake would notice his shaky voice and hear his tears. _Double shit._

 

He decides to text. He doesn't know how to cry-type, so it’s his safest bet.

 

_Bisexuality1 to Nonbi &Bi _

 

_Bisexuality1: sorry i cant talk rn my parents are sleepin_

 

_Nonbi &Bi: ok _

 

_Nonbi &Bi: we’re all hangin at chlo’s house tonight _

 

_Nonbi &Bi: you comin? _

 

_Bisexuality1: sure_

 

_Bisexuality1: ill come another place too, if you want ;))_

 

_Nonbi &Bi: ;)) k see you _

 

Well, he just walked himself right into a corner. _Triple shit._

\---

He manages to make himself look presentable. A aviator jacket to hide the bruises on his arms, long pants despite it being May, and a crap-ton of makeup to hide the circles under his eyes. His head is still buzzing, but after shaking it a few times, it turns into a dull throbbing.

 

He sneaks out the door and walks to Chloe’s house. It’s only around the cul-de-sac, so he gets there quickly.

\---

It’s all normal until it goes to shit.

 

Michael and Jeremy were playing a level in a hard video game, everyone else egging them on. When they defeat the level, everyone cheers, Brooke and Christine and Rich jumping up in celebration.

 

Then everything goes black, and people are screaming for a different reason.

 

He wakes up a few minutes later, his brain fuzzier than ever, his stomach growling angrily, and his bruises aggravated. Jake is leaning over him, and he realizes he’s on a couch. Brooke is fluttering around anxiously, both Jenna and Chloe shushing her, eyes filled with concern.

 

“What happened to him?” he hears Christine ask, then she’s also leaning over him, announcing, “he’s awake!”

 

“Rich!” Jake gasps, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, tight. Rich cringes at the influx of pins and needles. “Rich, what happened?”

 

“I-” his voice sounds garbled, so he clears his throat and winces at the rawness of it. “I-” Shit. He can’t get out of this one.

 

He doesn't notice someone pulling up his shirt until they prod at his bruise. He squeals, grabbing his shirt and pulling it down protectively, but not before Chloe notices.

 

“Rich, what the _fuck_ was that?” She asks. Rich rakes his mind for a lie.

 

“I got in the way of some assholes,” he says, which isn’t completely false. However, he says it too fast to be believed. Chloe’s eyes are red.

 

“I know that's not the whole story, Rich. What. The. _Fuck._ Happened. To. You?” Her voice is quaking. Jake squeezes his hand tighter.

 

“Why won’t you tell us the truth, Richie?” Jake asks softly, their eyes soft. Rich nearly breaks under the nickname, but then steels himself.

 

“I’m _fine!”_ He yells suddenly, making everyone jump. He tries to rip his hand out of Jake’s grip, only making the pins and needles worse. Jake holds on tighter.

 

“We’re not trying to hurt you, Rich!” Jake says, shaking their entangled hands a bit.

 

Rich wants- no, needs- to get out. His eyes are watering, and he looks at Jake, begging,

 

“Let go of me, please, Jake!” Jake lets go, looking like they might start crying. Rich gets off of the couch, waving off everyone’s concern, and heads for the door.

 

“Why’d you faint?” Jeremy asks him, grabbing Rich by the shoulders.

 

It’s unexpected, and Rich panics.

 

He fights the hands off, turning and shoving Jeremy away. It’s harder than he wants, and Jeremy falls on his butt, coughing.

 

“What the hell?!” Michael says, kneeling by Jeremy. Jeremy waves him off, but Rich is backing away, because _he hurt Jeremy._

 

“I hurt you,” he whispers, his eyesight watery. “I- I _hurt_ you.” Rich is breathing heavily. Jeremy shakes his head, standing up.

 

“No, no, Rich, you didn’t hurt me, I’m just fine, see?” Jeremy walks towards him slowly, holding a hand out in front of him. “I’m just fine.” However, he stumbles over his own feet, and Rich breaks.

 

Tears overflow, and he’s backing away again, shaking his head.

 

“Don’t come closer, please, _please_ don’t come closer, I’m sorry, I’m _sorry,”_ he cries, turning on his heel and running towards the door. _Get out get out_

 

He fumbles with the doorknob, pulling the door open and running out right when he feels someone grab his jacket.

 

“Get _away!”_ He sobs, tripping and falling, scraping the palms of his hands. His tears fill up again, but he gets up, stumbling until he has a steady momentum of running, running, running away.

 

 _“Rich!”_ He hears distantly, and he thinks it’s Michael, but for all he knew it could be Jake. But he doesn't look back, just keeps on running and running and running until he’s at the park.

 

He slows to a jog, taking time to wipe his tears away the best he can, sniffing pathetically.

 

He sits at the base of a tree, bringing his knees to his chest and leaning his head against them. He takes a moment to collect himself, then savagely bites the base of his thumb where his palm is, tears still dripping. He growls a little, then retracts his teeth and stares, satisfied, at the tooth marks and relishes in the pain.

 

Why can’t he just _die?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna call this arc 'Rich Needs Love, But He Sure Isn't Gonna Accept That' thoughts


	62. Rich Has Terrible Parents part 4 (FINALE)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rich thinks about commiting suicide, and is very close to doing it, but he's stopped. I think thats the only warning!

Rich sniffs, finally regaining control of himself. He stands up shakily, peeking around his tree to see if anyone was watching.

 

No one was.

 

Good.

 

He walks out into the open, grabbing his phone.

 

_You have been blocked from the group chat ‘Exposed™’. You are not able to read or send any messages until your block is lifted or you create a new account._

 

He throws his phone to the ground.

 

“God _damn_ you guys!” He yells to no one, wrapping his arms around his stomach and hunching forward.

 

He has no tears left.

 

He doesn't cry, but he mourns.

 

He has no one.

 

Would they miss him?

 

His eyes stray to the tree. He remembers Evan Hansen, the senior who tried to commit suicide by falling out of a tree.

 

Jared Kleinman told him, one night when they were texting. Jared was drunk, and xe went on a tangent about how xyr boyfriend nearly died and xe wanted to be concerned but couldn't because of xyr social standing as a school asshole.

 

Well, Rich thinks. I have nothing to lose.

 

Leaving his phone on the ground, he goes to the highest tree and begins to climb, higher and higher.

 

It’ll be nice, to die up here, he thinks. Up here, with the birds and the clouds, the sun not shining but a mist clearing his lungs.

 

He sits at the very highest branch that will hold him, taking in the sights.

 

He’ll wait. For now.

\---

Everyone else disperses after that, going home with their respective partners or, in Jake’s case, catching a ride with Michael and Jeremy.

 

It’s quiet until their phones all buzz, with a text from Chloe.

 

_Lesbian has removed Bisexuality1 from the chat_

 

_Lesbian has changed the group chat name to Rich Protection Squad 2k17_

 

_Lesbian: alright fuckers you need to find rich_

 

_Lesbian: go see if hes ok_

 

_Lesbian: im calling CPS on his parents_

 

_Lesbian: i know that hes being abused_

 

_Lesbian: i can tell_

 

_Gay: how do we know where to find him?_

 

_Lesbian: my phone does a thing where it can find a friends phone_

 

_Lesbian: ill send you his coordinates_

 

**_Lesbian has sent directions to Alecbex Park through Google Maps_ **

 

_Nonbi &Bi: k cool thnks _

 

_Lesbian: ps i blockd him bc he wouldve tried to stop us_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: k _

 

Wordlessly, Michael’s car turns towards the park Chloe told them to go to. Once they all get there, Jeremy gets Jake’s wheelchair out of the back, and Michael helps them into it.

 

Jake starts searching for Rich, calling his name. With every minute of no reply, they panic more and more.

 

 _“Rich!”_ Jake yells, as loud as they can. _“Richie, where are you?”_ Jeremy and Michael also call for him, looking all around the park.

 

“Hey!” A sudden yell from Michael. Jake turns to see him holding a sleek black rectangle.

 

Rich’s phone.

 

Jeremy runs over and pushes Jake towards Michael, the three of them huddled around the tiny object. Michael turns it on and swipes, being met with a passcode.

 

“It’s locked.” He says dully. Jake only plucks it from his grip and types in the password. Jeremy gives them a curious look.

 

“Rich gave me his pass.” They say, eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Oh.” The two others nod.

\---

Rich hears his name being called, and nearly falls right then and there.

 

Who would be looking for him? Jake? Chloe? Michael? Brooke? Jenna? Christine? Jeremy?

 

No, he convinces himself, no, they’re all mad at him. They’re all mad at him because he hurt Jeremy, and they all don’t care for him.

 

It hurts his heart, but it’s _true._

 

He sighs. Looks down.

 

_“Jake?”_

His datemate isn’t looking at him, but they’re _there,_ along with Michael and Jeremy.

 

They’re all looking at his phone.

 

“That's a little rude,” he scoffs, but no humor is found.

\---

Jeremy looks up briefly from the phone, then sees something. Or, rather, some _one._

 

“Rich!” He yells, breaking away and running towards a tree. Michael looks up also, sees what Jeremy saw, drops the phone in Jake’s lap, and starts pushing them towards the tree.

 

At the base of the tree, Jake cups their hands around their mouth and yells,

 

“Rich, please, get down from there!” Rich shakes his head _no._ “Please, Richie, please!” Rich yells back,

 

“What if I fall?”

 

“You won’t, trust me, okay? It’ll be okay, Rich!” Jake says, their eyes darting around desperately. _What If he does fall oh god please don’t fall I love you I can’t lose you please_

 

Rich starts to climb down. It’s nerve-wracking, for all of them; Rich nearly free falls a couple of times, Jake’s stomach flipping in panic every time it happens.

 

It happens twice before Rich is on the ground again. Jake restrains themself from throwing their body at Rich, but lets him shuffle forward slowly until they’re both face-to-face.

 

Rich has his hands in his pockets, his posture slumped. He looks broken. He looks up, and his eyes are empty.

 

“I’m sorry,” Rich says blankly.

 

“I forgive you,” Jake tells him.

 

Rich breaks. He runs, sobbing, into Jake’s arms, linking his own around their neck. His legs go limp, and he collapses into his datemate's lap, burying his face into the junction between their neck and shoulder.

 

His back heaves with sobs, wailing ‘ _I’m sorry I’m sorry I wasn’t gonna I didn’t wanna I’m sorry I’m so broken’_ and Jake whispering back _‘ssh, ssh, it’s okay, I trust you I trust you you’re not broken, I promise, ssh.’_

 

Jeremy and Michael don’t say anything, letting the two bond in peace.

 

Soon, Rich slows his crying, then falls asleep in Jake’s arms. They adjust him so that his legs aren’t dragging along the road, then Michael pushes Jake’s wheelchair towards his car.

 

They all get in, Rich still sleeping on Jake, and all reported into the group chat.

 

_Gay: we got rich_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: oh thank god _

 

_Pansexuality: is he hurt?_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: not more than he already is _

 

_Lesbian: okay, okay, good_

 

_Nonbi &Bi: what abt CPS?? _

 

_Lesbian: Rich is going into court soon to tell the story_

 

_Lesbian: they asked to take pictures of what his parents did to him, so like pics of his bruises and stuff_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: physical evidence _

 

_Lesbian: but rn his parents are in custody_

 

_AroAce: and chloe, the powerful angel, convinced them all to let rich stay with us until tomorrow night_

 

_Lesbian: :3_

 

_Gay: wheres he gonna crash??? My place is free_

 

_Nonbi &Bi: hes my bf i think i have a right to have him sleep at my house _

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: tru _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: tru _

 

_Pansexuality: tru_

 

_Lesbian: tru_

 

_AroAce: tru_

 

_Gay: tru_

 

_Nonbi &Bi: :)))) _

 

_Lesbian: so bring him over to jakes place and we’ll all be over soon_

 

_Nonbi &Bi: kk _

 

Jake put their phone down, burying their face into Rich’s hair.

 

Now, for the first time in Rich’s life, he was going to be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Gerard Canonico: I love you I swear bb
> 
> Aaa!! Arc is over!! Yaay! 
> 
> A lot of you have suggested calling this 'Rich Has Terrible Parents,' so that's now the nams of this arc!
> 
> Got any suggestions?


	63. Chapter 63

**_Pansexuality has sent a video to Rich Protection Squad 2k17 [_ ** [ **_https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mCJy7tArSQI_ ** ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mCJy7tArSQI) **_]_ **

 

_ Lesbian: brOOKE WJAt tHe FUKC _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: IM SCREAMING _

 

_ Pansexuality: and my heart went bOOM _

 

_ AroAce: THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER WATCHED _

 

_ AroAce: OH GOD _

 

_ AroAce: SAVE ME _

 

_ Gay: im,,,,,,, deceased _

 

_ Bisexuality1: what the hell _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im having a existential crisis _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: saaame _

 

_ Pansexuality: ;))) the product of searching on youtube for five hours _

 

_ Lesbian: what were you even watching beforehand _

 

_ Pansexuality: ,,,,,,, uh _

 

_ Bisexuality1: was it two girls one cup _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: RICH NOOO _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: i threw my phone and cracked it thnks _

 

_ Bisexuality1: ;)))) ur welcum _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: RICH STOP _

 

_ Gay: no but seriously brooke what were you watching _

 

_ Pansexuality: believe it or not _

 

_ Pansexuality: shane dawson _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: :00000000000000 _

 

_ Bisexuality1: !! Shane is the best _

 

_ Gay: ive never watched his videos _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: yeah you have  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: we binge watched him  _

 

_ Gay: ??? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ugh _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: remember the one vid where it was like fred was kidnapped _

 

_ Gay: oh yeah _

 

_ Gay: oH YEAH _

 

_ Gay: GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT _

 

_ Bisexuality1: hes also bi so ;)) _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: ;))) _

_ \--- _

_ { _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: do you ever just _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: make jokes about the squip _

 

_ Gay: ‘,:0 explain _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: like mine once said ‘lets save the pitiful children’ _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: and i just _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ‘allow us to help the smaller, deserving adolescents’ _

 

_ Bisexuality1: why,,,, am i laughing _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: am i funny yet _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: I SPAT OUT MY DRINK _

 

_ Lesbian: same _

 

_ Pansexuality: XD _

 

_ AroAce: me- who uses XD anymore _

 

_ AroAce: brooke- XD _

 

_ AroAce: me- XD XD XD _

 

_ Lesbian: thats my girlfriend :0 >:( _

 

_ Pansexuality: we’re open for a bigger relationship  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: the more the merrier _

 

_ Gay: we all love you brooke _

 

_ Pansexuality: :D thanks michael!! _

 

_ Bisexuality1: wait my squip would always say ‘be more chill and people would like you’ _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ‘allow yourself to make friends and fellow humans will appreciate you’  _

 

_ Bisexuality1: IM SQUAWKING  _

 

_ Nonbi&Bi: im concerned _

 

_ Gay: im always concerned _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: dont be _

 

_ Bisexuality1: dont be _

  
_ Lesbian: i doubt they will _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit goes to Cookie Dust on YouTube, who made the video Brooke sends! I love that video so much oh my goodness XD


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YALL HOLY FUCKING SHIT ON A CRACKER I GOT TWO FANARTS!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> They're both absolutely beautiful, and they're both on my Tumblr page! (@modern-lamsheadcanons) Both of the pieces are absolutely lovely! I love and cherish them so much! 
> 
> Thank you to the two very talented artists who made them! Thank you so much!!

“I’m just saying, the SQUIP is like a dance mom.” Rich says suddenly.

 

Jeremy gags on his pizza. He and Rich are hanging out; Michael has a headache and Jake is at a PT appointment, so, hey, what’s to lose.

 

“Your virginity,” Rich had told him with a smirk and a wink, going in to lick Jeremy’s face. 

 

Back to the matter at hand. Jeremy is gagging on his pizza, coughing with a hand over his mouth to try and stifle the noise. Rich is giggling, patting Jeremy on the back.

 

“Sorry about that.” He says, his voice choked with laughter. Jeremy glares at him with teary eyes when he gets his breath back.

 

“I f-fucking hate you.” Jeremy wheezes. Rich just laughs more.

 

“I’m gonna get a stomach ache from laughing,” Rich mutters. 

 

“Same.” 

 

More laughter.

\---

An hour later, Jeremy and Rich both are nearly in tears from Rich cracking jokes. He had compared the SQUIP to a soccer mom, a PTA white suburban mom, and, most recently, ‘that one white bitch who’s always in the high school movies who’s mean for, like, no reason.’ 

 

_ “I don’t need these images in my head oh my God please stop,”  _ Jeremy sputtered through his giggles. Rich only poked him jokingly.

 

“SQUIP is a lgbtphobic PTA mom who makes bad lemon bars,” Rich said, snorting from his nose at his own joke.

 

Jeremy buries his face into his pillows.

 

“You’re not my friend anymore,” Jeremy hisses. Rich cheers.

 

“My sole purpose in life is completed!” Jeremy flails out a foot and kicks him on the thigh. “Ow!” Rich laughs.

 

“If you say anything else, I’ll purposely murder you,” Jeremy groans, his torso sore from laughing. 

 

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.”

 

“ _ Good.  _ Thank you.” 

 

A whisper from Rich.

 

“Dance mom SQUIP.” Jeremy squealed and started pounding his feet, trying to find Rich by listening to his giggles.

 

“I  _ trusted  _ you!” 

 

“That was a mistake, now, wasn't it?” Jeremy’s feet stop. 

  
“Yeah, true.”


	65. Chapter 65

Jeremy is in the kitchen at Michael’s house, and he has no idea how he got there. 

 

He’s tired, eyelids slipping down until he opens them again, crossing his eyes and struggling to get them focused again. 

 

He’s standing, legs apart so that his thighs aren’t touching, and he knows he should go back to bed,  _ Michael’s _ bed, but he can’t move. It’s like he’s in a trance.

 

He woke up about twenty minutes ago, Michael’s back pressing warmly into his, and he felt blood trickling down his thighs.  _ Shit.  _

 

He had gotten up quickly, not wanting to get blood all over Michael’s bed, went to the bathroom, and saw that he would have to quietly go downstairs, because surprise, Michael doesn’t have pads in his personal bathroom.  _ Double shit. _

 

He goes downstairs, changes his pad, then decides to just camp out in the living room until the morning. 

 

He gets a glass of water from Michael’s fridge, where the water is so cold a film of frost ices over the top of the water if he leaves it alone for a bit, and takes a long drink.

 

It burns his throat going down, but he likes it like that.

 

He then just sits on the couch, dozing off, until he hears the creaking of steps going downstairs. He startles, pulling a blanket over his head but peeking out. 

 

He sees red pajama bottoms, then a pac-man shirt. 

 

_ Michael.  _

 

He’s rubbing his eyes tiredly, and his hair is a mess, and he doesn’t have his glasses on. Jeremy suddenly feels guilty. 

 

Michael is stumbling over himself, which makes sense because, you know, his glasses aren’t on… his face.

 

God, Jeremy is more tired than he thought. 

 

Michael is fumbling with his phone, but he looks more awake then Jeremy feels, so there’s that. 

 

Then Michael’s phone flashlight sweeps brightly right into his eyes, and Jeremy resists the impulse to hiss loudly. 

 

He covers his face with the blankets, flushing as he hears Michael walk over to him. 

 

“I know you’re under there, Jeremy,” Michael says. His voice is low and husky, and Jeremy falls in love with him a bit more.

 

“Sorry,” Jeremy whispers back. “I woke up then I didn’t want to go back upstairs because of my fucked up sleeping schedule and-” He’s rambling, but then Michael pulls back the blanket, and Jeremy shuts up. “Sorry.” He finishes quickly. Michael smiles a little, then pulls him up off the couch and into the kitchen.

 

“Dance with me,” Michael tells him, and Jeremy nods.

 

“Okay.” 

 

The night took a turn, but it’s a good one. 

 

Michael clicks on a playlist from YouTube Music that’s labelled  _ Calm Songs For Dates.  _

_ ‘I Can't Help Falling In Love With You’ _ starts to play. Jeremy is standing awkwardly, then jumps a little when Michael turns around and grabs his hand lacing their fingers together. Jeremy’s other hand goes up to rest on Michael’s shoulder, and Michael puts his hand on Jeremy’s hip.

 

“Dance with me,” Michael says again, then starts to sway with the music. Jeremy sways with him, both embarrassed that he doesn't really know how to dance, and feeling a bit cliche.

 

“This is what they do in movies,” Jeremy says. Michael huffs out a laugh.

 

“Shut up, my favorite part is playing.” Michael starts to hum, then sings quietly in Jeremy’s ear.

 

_ “Take my hand,”  _ Michael squeezes their linked hands a little, making Jeremy’s mouth quirk up at the corners, _ “take my whole life too, for I can't help falling in love with you.”  _ Jeremy then joins in singing.

 

_ “Like a river flows, surely to the sea, Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be,”  _ Then the two boys sing together, their voices melding together to make a pleasant harmony.

 

_ “Take my hand,”  _ this time Jeremy brings their hands together, placing them in between he and Michael’s chests, then leans forward, trapping their hands between them,  _ “Take my whole life, too, for I can't help falling in love with you, for I can't help falling in love with you.”  _ The song fades out, leaving the boys to be swaying together, their foreheads touching. 

 

The two then look towards Michael’s phone as  _ ‘Here Comes A Thought’  _ from Steven Universe starts to play. Jeremy giggles and lets his head plunk against Michael’s shoulder.

 

“I can’t believe you, Michael.” Michael grumbles and steps on Jeremy’s foot. “Ow!” 

 

“Screw you, it’s a good show, and this song is relaxing!” Michael sounds offended, which only makes Jeremy smile more. 

 

Jeremy starts to softly sing along, stopping Michael from skipping the song from spite.  __   
  


_ “Here comes a thought that might alarm you, what someone said and how it harmed you, something you did that failed to be charming, _ _   
_ _ things that you said are suddenly swarming,”  _ Michael joins in, and Jeremy stops singing to start doing simple footwork that he remembers from dancing in sixth grade.

 

_ “And, oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch, all these little things seem to matter so much, that they confuse you, that I might lose you,”  _

 

And they go on like that. There’s a part in the song where there's an tinkling of notes getting higher and higher, and, at that part, Michael tries to pick up and twirl Jeremy. 

 

He isn’t able to do it because Michael has  pretty much no muscles whatsoever, but Jeremy appreciates the effort. 

 

Then that song ends, and Michael pauses the track, letting the two stand in silence. It’s nice, Jeremy thinks, it’s nice to be standing in your boyfriend’s kitchen as the sun is rising, holding hands, dancing, and enjoying each other's company. 

 

Michael then yawns. A squeak comes out of his throat as he does, Jeremy snickering.

 

“Shut up,” Michael says mock-angrily, swatting Jeremy’s bicep. Jeremy holds back his laughter, his cheeks puffing out.

 

“Sorry.” He and Michael both laugh together, then Michael starts to lead them both upstairs.

 

“I’m going back to bed. Join me?” 

 

“I’ve heard worse ideas,” Jeremy teases him. Michael flushes red.

 

“Shut your face.” Michael mutters as they crawl under the covers. Jeremy smiles widely.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Maybe ‘okay’ will be our ‘always.’” Michael says sleepily, rolling on his side and opening his arms so that Jeremy could lay by him.

 

“I can’t believe you.” Jeremy mutters, but still lets Michael hug him. 

 

“Night. Well, morning.” 

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Maybe-” Jeremy knees him in the calf.

 

“Go to sleep.”

  
“O- alright.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this on tumblr I'm proud of it :')


	66. Chapter 66

“Brooke?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Wanna get Chloe a puppy?” Jenna asked. Brooke fell off of the couch.

 

“A  _ what?”  _ She whisper-screamed, her eyes big and bright. Jenna grinned, tapped at her phone for a little, then showed the screen to her girlfriend.

 

A tiny french bulldog was ‘smiling’ at the screen, their tongue lolling out of their mouth. Brooke made a strangled noise and flapped her hands happily.

 

“Baby!” Was the only legible thing Jenna was able to make out. 

 

Brooke was tearing up. Jenna went into Mama Bear Mode. 

 

“Are you okay?” Jenna asked, starting to pull the screen away. Brooke scrambled for the phone, saying,

 

“I-I’m fine, I just need to see- look at how adorable- baby!” And more happy squeals. Jenna smiled at her girlfriend's enthusiasm.  _ “We are definitely getting this pupper for Chloe oh my God she’ll love it,”  _ Brooke wheezed. 

 

“Pupper?” Jenna asked. Brooke scowled playfully.

 

“Blame Michael, not me.” 

 

“Way to spill some hot tea, oh my God.” The two girls giggled happily, Jenna taking the phone back, despite Brooke’s whines. “Okay, I’ll text the breeder.”

 

“How are we gonna pay?” Brooke asked, tilting her head. Jenna shrugged.

 

“The breeder is my cousin. They  _ loooooooove  _ me, so they’ll give me the puppy on discount,” Jenna said with a wink, making Brooke smile. “But we can just ask around for money.” 

 

“I’m rich, Jenna.” Brooke said blankly.

 

“Shit, you’re right.” More giggles. Brooke got back up on the couch, suddenly asking,

 

“What should we name-” Her eyebrows furrowed, “-pronouns?” 

 

“She.” 

 

“What should we name her?” Brooke asked. Jenna snapped her fingers.

 

“I’ve got it all planned out. We say that Jeremy is getting a puppy, and that he wants us all to choose our favourite name. Whatever Chloe picks, we name the puppy.” 

 

Brooke nodded.

 

“Cool.” She suddenly squealed again, hugging Jenna tightly. “I’m so excited! Do you think she’ll like it?” 

 

Jenna laughed, awkwardly hugging her girlfriend back. 

 

“Of course she will. She’s a dog  _ fanatic,  _ remember?” 

 

Brooke nodded her head again.

 

“Oh, right. I remember. What about her parents?”

 

“They’re fine with it. Chlo’s brother and sister love puppies, so,” Jenna bounced up and down a little, “they’ll let us get the little angel.” 

 

Brooke smiled and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand.

 

“Yay!” 

 

“Love you,” Jenna said, planting a quick kiss on Brooke’s lips. Brooke smiled, her dimples appearing.

 

“I love you too!” Brooke leaned forward and caught Jenna’s lips in a passionate kiss. Jenna was blissed out as she kissed back.

 

Damn. Jenna should propose getting puppies more often.

\---

“Jeremy!” Brooke ran towards the boy in question, nearly running into him when he stopped and turned around.

 

“Hey, Brooke. What’s up?” Brooke was panting a little from her sprint. 

 

“I need to you convince Chloe you’re adopting a puppy for Michael, okay?” Jeremy quirked an eyebrow.

 

“Jeremy's doing what?” Michael suddenly entered the scene. Brooke giggled.

 

“Jeremy is gonna convince Chloe that he’s adopting a puppy for you because we’re adopting a puppy for her!” Brooke let out in a breath. Michael hummed and adjusted his glasses.

 

“Damn. I thought I was getting that Goldie I’ve always wanted.” Jeremy elbowed him in the ribs. 

 

“Don’t even think about it.” 

 

_ “Don't even think about it, _ ” Michael mocked. Brooke clapped her hands.

 

“Do you’ll do it? You'll tell her?” 

 

“Yeah, sure.” Brooke squealed and hugged Jeremy, flinging her arms around his neck.

 

“Thank you, Jeremy!” Jeremy hugged her back.

 

“You're welcome, Brooke.” 

\---

“Hey, Chloe?” Jeremy walked up behind the girl and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned.

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“Well, I’m getting a puppy for Michael-” he was cut off by a happy gasp from Chloe.

 

_ “Really?  _ Omigod, can I see it?” 

 

Jeremy nodded and pulled out his phone. Brooke had sent him a few pictures of other dogs from the same breeder to throw Chloe even more off of their trail. He pulled up a picture of his personal favorite, a little pug with a all black body.

 

“Here he is.” 

 

Chloe squealed and giggled, covering her mouth with her hands.

 

“What a babe!” She laughed, making Jeremy smile too. 

 

“I know, right?” He turns off of his phone, then puts it back in his pocket. Chloe frowned at the sudden disappearance of the puppy, but didn’t object. “So, I’m going around and asking names fit for the puppy.” Chloe creased her eyebrows in thought.

 

“Hmm. Is it a girl? Or boy?”

 

“Girl.”

 

“Well, I’ve always liked the name Winnie… Or Heidi, I dunno.” 

 

“It has to only be one name per person.” Chloe frowned.

 

“Picky picky.” She then tapped her fingers on her lips, drumming them as she thought. “Willow.” 

 

“Willow?” Jeremy filed it away in his brain.

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Cool. Thanks Chlo.” 

\---

Everyone was hanging out at Jake’s house. Chloe, Brooke, Jenna, and Christine were all sitting on the floor, doing a braid chain with Christine in the very front. The girl was talking with Rich, something about Evan’s friend, Alana, and her girlfriend, Zoe. Jeremy was playing hand games with Michael  (not like that, you dirty dishrag) and Jake was on their phone. 

 

Brooke then separated herself from the braid chain, quickly tying a hair tie on Jenna's hair. 

 

“We’ve got a present for someone in this room,” she said quickly, not really knowing how to start. Jenna nodded and stood up also.

 

“Yeah, we do. Chloe, cover your eyes, please.” Chloe turned, her back cracking.

 

“Okay, first,  _ ow.”  _ Everyone laughed. “Second, why?” 

 

“‘Cuz.” Brooke said, then walked out of the room. Jenna snickered and followed her, yelling, 

 

“Just do it!” 

 

Jake and Rich exchanged looks.

 

“Don’t you dare,” Christine warned them. Rich pouted.

 

“Dammit.” 

 

Chloe covered her eyes with her hands and said,

 

“If someone gross is gonna happen, I’m moving to Oregon.” 

 

_ “Make something gross happen,”  _ Jake yelled. Chloe tore her hands away from her eyes and glared at them.

 

“Fuck you, Dillinger.”

 

“Love you too,” they hummed.

\---

A few minutes later, Brooke walked in with a squirming puppy in her arms. Christine gasped and Michael smiled widely.

 

“Oh-” She then covered her mouth. Chloe, still covering her eyes, looked around wildly.

 

“What? What’s going on?” Jeremy stood and took the puppy from Brooke, putting it in Chloe’s lap. “What’s-” she took her hands off of her eyes, and looked down. She screamed. “Oh my God!” 

 

Everyone laughed, and Jeremy went back to sit by Michael. Chloe, with shaking hands, picked up the puppy and held it by her shoulder. 

 

“What’s their name?” 

 

“Willow.” Jenna answered. Chloe squeaked happily, her eyes misty. 

 

“Is that why- Jeremy?!” Chloe couldn't formulate full sentences as she held her puppy. Jeremy smiled innocently.

 

“Yep.” He said, popping the ‘P.’ The dog sneezed.

 

“You should’ve named it ‘Sneezy.’” Rich remarked, even though he was clearly already in love with the puppy. Chloe scowled and scooted away from him, holding Willow protectively.

 

“Don’t make fun of my baby girl, she’s beautiful and perfect!” Chloe said, scratching the puppy’s ears. It sneezed again. Brooke and Jenna flanked Chloe, Brooke on her left, Jenna on her right. Chloe let go of the puppy gently, and hugged Brooke with one arm and Jenna with the other. “Thank you!” Her girlfriends both kissed her on the cheek.

 

“You’re welcome!” They said in unison. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post a pic of Willow on my tumblr (@modern-lamsheadcanons)! If you can't find it and you're on the app, just look up 'baby french doggy' (don't judge me) if you can't find it and you don't have the app, just tell me and I'll post it again :)


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a mention of Rich's dad hitting him, so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to!

Ever since Jeremy and Michael were little, they were big fans of physical affection. Jeremy would always look for Michael on the playground, and, when he saw him, would launch himself at his friend yelling  _ ‘Michael!’  _ and Michael would ran towards him, yelling back  _ ‘Joanna!’  _ (Or Joanie, in earlier years.)

 

Then they hugged tightly, and when they had to go into the classroom, they would hold hands as they walked there.

 

Rich had accepted this. He would stick to his own self, reading his books underneath a tree or, if he was lucky, inside of the school, away from everyone screaming and pushing each other. 

 

However, in the beginning of third grade, Rich had scraped up enough courage to walk up to Jeremy and compliment him on his pigtails.

 

Don’t judge him. He was eight.

 

_ Joanna had smiled brightly, saying, _

 

_ “Thank you!” In her quiet and high voice, her nose scrunching.  _

 

_ Then she hugged Rich.  _

 

_ Rich froze, then wiggled out of Joanna’s grip, whining as he did. I don't like being touched I don’t like being touched don't touch me please  _

 

_ Joanna looked hurt. Michael was glowering a little ways behind her, looking as threatening as an eight-year-old could be.  _

 

_ “Rich?” Joanna asked softly. Rich realized he was shaking. “Are you okay?”  _

 

_ “What’s wrong with you?” Michael suddenly asked loudly, making Rich flinch. Joanna turned on her heel and glared at Michael, fists on her hips. _

 

_ “Michael Andrew Mell! That's a mean thing to say!” Joanna told him sternly. Rich was still trembling, and his chest felt tight.  _

 

_ Christine Canguila, the only person smaller than Rich in the whole class, bounced up beside him, her arms held out to her sides, helping her keep her balance. _

 

_ “Richie, are you okay?” She asked sweetly, but Rich couldn't hear her. Something was whooshing in his ears. Joanna finished yelling at Michael and turned around, her big eyes taking in Rich, whose legs were going weak.  _

 

_ “What’s wrong?” Joanna asked. Rich sat down on the ground, Christine and Joanna sitting with him. Michael still stood, his arms crossed. “Are you okay?”  _

 

_ “I- I don’t like people touching me,” Rich said shakily. Joanna tilted her head, and Christine furrowed her eyebrows. _

 

_ “Why?” They both asked. Rich took a shaky breath.  _

 

_ “My- my daddy hits me,” he said in a small voice. Joanna and Christine gasped, and Michael looked concerned.  _

 

_ “Why?” Christine asked. “My daddy doesn't do that.”  _

 

_ “I don’t know!” Rich shrieked, slamming his palms on his eyes as tears welled up. Joanna placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.  _

 

_ “Why doesn't your mommy stop him?” She asks. Rich hiccups, rubbing his eyes. _

 

_ “She- I-”  _

 

_ “Can I hug you?” Christine asks. Rich nods after a moment, and she gently wraps her arms around him. Michael had gone mysteriously missing. _

 

Yeah. Jeremy had never really touched him again. 

 

He was lucky, honestly, to get with the Hansen’s. They weren't a touchy-feely family, due to Evan’s anxiety. 

 

Anyways, Evan was a sweet kid. He was quiet (anxiety) and stayed out of the way (anxiety) and didn't talk a lot. (Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety.) 

 

Well, yeah. He was anxious. Other than that, he could make jokes that would hit Rich a few seconds later. He would send random pick-me-up texts to Rich throughout the day, little things like  _ only three hours left!!  _ Or  _ i hope you do good on your exam :)  _

 

It was nice. 

 

Mrs. Hansen- er, Heidi, was a amazing lady.  She respected his space, and was an expert at calming him down from a panic attack. 

 

Her cookies were good, too.

 

All in all, Rich was  _happy._  


	68. Chapter 68

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The SQUIP comes back, which makes Jeremy panic, so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to!

Jeremy hadn’t heard it for months. Then, without warning, it was _back._

 

He was walking down the stairs to Michael’s basement, laughing at a joke that his boyfriend told.

 

Then he froze, the presence in his mind washing over him.

 

_‘Jeremyyyyy~’_

 

No. No. No.

 

_‘You can neeever get rid of me, Jeremy.’_

 

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

 

_‘Do you remember our little song? Or did you forget it?’_

 

Be quiet. Be quiet. _No. No. No._

 

“Jeremy?”

 

Oh thank God it’s a real voice. Jeremy stepped numbly down the rest of the stairs, swallowing over a dry throat.

 

_‘Tell him you’re fine.’_

 

“I-I’m fine, just-”

 

_‘What did I tell you about stuttering, Jeremy?’_

 

His back was straightening out of the slumped position it was in. There was no shock. Michael looked concerned.

 

“Are you sure? You look like ass.”

 

_‘What a rude boy.’_

 

Be quiet.

 

Jeremy took a deep breath and sat on the beanbag chair, still sitting unnaturally straight.

 

“I’m fine, Michael. I just got a headache.”

 

Michael tilted his head.

 

“Is your new medicine acting up?”

 

_‘Tell him to fuck off.’_

 

“Fu-” No! I’m not going to do that!

 

‘ _Fine. Yes, it’s your medicine.’_

 

“Yeah, meds and all that.” He smiled at Michael, using his acting skills to make it look realistic. “Let’s just play, okay?”

 

Michael still looked suspicious, but sat and started to boot up the Wii. Jeremy let his head rest on his hand, taking deep breaths.

 

Loudest one is mine. Loudest one is mine.

 

_‘Don’t be ridiculous, Jeremy. I’m the loudest voice in your head.’_

 

_Loudest one is mine. Loudest one is mine._

 

_‘You can’t ever get rid of me.’_

 

**_Loudest one is mine. Loudest one is mine._ **

 

_‘Stop repeating that stupid phrase. Michael is trying to get your attention.’_

 

Michael was waving a hand in front of his face.

 

“Jeremy? Dude, are you sure you’re okay?” Jeremy picked his head up off of his hand, nodding and taking the controller.

 

“I’m fine, really! Let’s just play.” A beat. “I’ll tell you when I feel crappy, okay?” Low move, Jeremy.

 

_‘It got him off your back.’_

 

He trusts me. I'm abusing that privilege. _Get out of my head._

 

_‘I can never leave, Jeremy. You’re stuck with me. I'm stuck with you.’_

 

Jeremy selected his player, and the game began.

 

A few minutes of silence, all of it filled with Jeremy arguing with the voice in his head.

 

_‘You can’t just listen, Jeremy.’_

 

No. No. No, _please._

 

_‘Repeat after me.’_

 

Stop. Stop. Stop.

 

_‘Oh, everything about you is so terrible,’_

 

Loudest one is mine. _Loudest one is mine._

 

_‘Everything about you makes me wanna die,’_

 

Be quiet. _Be quiet._

 

Jeremy felt his thumbs stop moving on the controller, and the sharp _buzz_ he got from the remote, telling him of his in-game death.

 

“Dude, Jere, you just died, you-” Michael turned to see Jeremy, white-faced, breathing heavily. “Jere…?”

 

_‘You can’t just listen. You have to obey.’_

 

No stop no please-

 

_‘Everything about you is so-”_

 

“SHUT UP!” Jeremy suddenly screamed, his hands flying to grip his hair in his hands. “Shut up shut up _just shut up!”_

 

Michael jumped, his own controller falling out of his hands as he turned to face the other boy. He grabbed the remote and turned off the Wii. He then shifted so that he was on his knees and faced towards Jeremy, seeing only his profile.

 

“Jeremy, hey, it’s okay, hey, shh, calm down,” Michael soothed as he slowly scooted closer. Jeremy was trembling minutely, his hands still gripping his hair tightly.

 

Michael put a gentle hand on Jeremy’s knee, barely even touching the boy.

 

“Don’t touch me, _loser,”_ Jeremy hissed, jerking his knee away from Michael’s touch and scrambling up to go run up the stairs.

 

“Oh no you don't,” Michael mumbled, then grabbed Jeremy’s cardigan, tugging back so that Michael could stand and Jeremy was pulled backwards. Michael then turned Jeremy around and slammed him bodily against the wall, holding his elbows in his hands. “You aren’t running away from me again.”

 

Jeremy whined, wriggling in Michael’s hold as his hands slowly lost grip on his hair. He released and clenched his fists, tightly squeezing his eyes shut.

 

 _“Jeremy,”_ Michael said forcefully, trying to get his attention, “Jeremy, look at me.”

 

Jeremy slowly looked up through his bangs at him, his hands still clenching and releasing fists in his hair.

 

“Is it back?” Michael asked, and Jeremy looked away, whining like a kicked dog. _“Jeremy,_ is the SQUIP back?”

 

A slow nod.

 

“Shit,” Michael hissed, shutting his eyes for a split second. Jeremy was still letting out whines. “Jere, look at me, ba- sweetheart, just breathe, okay?” Jeremy nodded weakly, taking in a shaky breath.

 

Michael slowly raised his hands up and took Jeremy’s clenched hands, gently untangling his fingers from his hair, pressing his thumbs into Jeremy’s pulse point on his wrist.

 

“Deep breaths, good job, Jeremy. You’re doing so well right now.” He praised him. Michael pressed his forehead to Jeremy’s, breathing deeply with him.

 

After five minutes, Jeremy opened his eyes.

 

“‘M sorry,” Jeremy whispered, not making eye contact with Michael. “I let you think I was fine even though I wasn't I’m sorry I’m sorry-” Michael hugged him tightly, Jeremy making a little ‘oh, okay,’ squeak.

 

“It was telling you what to do, right?” A nod against his chest. “Then it’s not your fault, okay?” A sniff.

 

“But I- I called you a loser!” Jeremy wailed, burying his face into Michael’s t-shirt. Michael scoffed.

 

“Oh, please. I call _myself_ a loser. I don’t care, really.” He didn't.

 

Jeremy looked tearfully up at him.

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.” Michael assured him. Jeremy’s face disappeared back into Michael’s t-shirt.

 

“I’m tired.” Jeremy muttered sleepily. Michael laughed.

 

“Let’s go sit back down, okay?”

 

Jeremy hummed. They walked towards Michael’s beanbag, then Michael sat on it with Jeremy sitting in between his legs. Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s torso and rested his head on his shoulder. Michael then softly kissed the skin under Jeremy’s ear, letting his lips rest against his boyfriend’s skin for a few seconds.

 

“I love you.” Jeremy said softly.

 

“Mm, love you too.” Michael replied, then silence fell again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send in your own theories about why Jeremy doesn’t like Michael calling him baby because I'm lost


	69. Chapter 69

_Pansexuality has changed the chat name to Supernaturhoes_

 

_Pansexuality: OKOK YALL HOLY SHIT_

 

_Gay: ‘supernaturhoes’ i;m wheez ign_

 

_Pansexuality: ;))_

 

_Pansexuality: ANYWAYS_

 

_Lesbian: brooke and jenna and i are all watchin Supernatural and criticizing it like the bitches we are_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: hon youre the bitch in the relationship @chloe _

 

_Lesbian: >:00 _

 

_Lesbian: IM DIVORCING YOUUUU_

 

_Pansexuality: wait no_

 

_Pansexuality: dont leave me_

 

_Lesbian: dont worry babe i wont_

 

_Pansexuality: good_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: ANYWAYS so brooke says ‘damn Dean is hot’ and chloe goes ‘hotter than the fires of hell’ and i  j u s t _

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: NO_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: dO NO T_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: wait youre a lesbian chlo _

 

_Lesbian: your point_

 

_Lesbian: im lesbian not blind_

 

_Lesbian: i can look at the menu i just cant order except from another menu_

 

_Gay: BEST_

 

_Gay: THATS IT_

 

_Gay: FUCK IM WHEEZIGN_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: calm _

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: clam _

 

_Bisexuality: shrimp_

 

_AroAce: the evolution of a meme_

 

_Lesbian: aAAAAAAA I HA TE MY GILRFRIEDNS IMM GETTIHN A DIVOTEUCE_

 

_AroAce: what happened??_

 

_Lesbian: iI WAS WATHCINT SUPERMATRUAL ANDD BTOOKE IS CHRWIGNG ON ONE OF HER STIM NNECKLEACES_

 

_Gay: oh boy_

 

_Lesbian: aaAAND I SAY SOMETHIBG AND SHE_

 

_Lesbian: ssHEE T H RO W S THE FFUCKGIN NEXKALCE AT MEEE_

 

_Pansexuality: HAHAH_

 

_Lesbian: HEErR SLOBBER IS ALL OVER EMEME_

 

_Bisexuality: meme_

 

_Lesbian: DDONT M OC K ME RICH_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: im snickering_

 

_AroAce: true love :’)_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: we lov you chlo _

 

_Lesbian: hhhHHHHHHHHHH_

 

_Pansexuality: :))_

 

_Lesbian: loV YOU TOO BUT S T I L L_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: you guys make out all the time, why is her spit on your shirt any different than her spit in your mouth? _

 

_Lesbian: YOU JUST RUINED ROMANCE GOOD JOB JEREMY_

 

_Gay: good for you_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: ;) jeremiah heere: professional life ruiner since August 19 1999_

 

_AroAce: we still love you jeremy_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: yay _

 

_Gay: oh shite_

 

_Gay has blocked FtMTrans &Bi from the chat _

 

_Gay has restricted FtMTrans &Bi from reviewing chat history _

 

_Gay: yall_

 

_Gay: its jeremys bday soon_

 

_Bisexuality: !! What should we do?_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: kill him_

 

_Lesbian: whoa there friend you need to slow down_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: thats hanukkah _

 

_Gay: i hate you all thats my bOYFRIEND youre discussing_

 

_Lesbian: ;))_

 

_Pansexuality: get him a dildo_

 

_Bisexuality: why a dildo when he has the actual thing_

 

_Gay: FFUCK YOU ALL_

 

_Gay: I HATE Y OU_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: wait _

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: jeremys gonna be freaking out _

 

_Pansexuality: SHIT_

 

_Pansexuality: THE BLOODY MARY EP IS PLAYING_

 

_Lesbian: dont worry babe ill protecc you_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: ill attacc period woman if she comes within a hundred yards of you _

 

_Bisexuality: ‘period woman’ iM_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: im laughin whoops_

 

_Lesbian: i like how the guys in this group just deal with the period jokes_

 

_Gay: SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUTTTTTT UPPPPP_

 

_Gay: jeremys bday!_

 

_Gay: hes turning EIGHTEEN!_

 

_Gay: we need to make it big!_

 

_Bisexuality: maybe…_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: waterpark?_

 

_Gay: we’re childish adults not children jake_

 

_Gay: theres a difference_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: oh sorry_

 

_Gay: dont sass me young person_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: i sass you all i want_

 

_Bisexuality: spicy_

 

_Lesbian: what_

 

_AroAce: !!! Everyone! This is important!_

 

_AroAce: jeremy is the third youngest in this group, right?_

 

_Gay: yup_

 

_Bisexuality: haha mikes old_

 

_Gay: wha_

 

_Lesbian: a 18 year old dating a 17 year old_

 

_Lesbian: youre practically dirt_

 

_Gay: back in my day kids reSPECTED their elders_

 

_Gay: im so old_

 

_Gay: i was here when god created the earth_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: what happened in 1666 _

 

_Gay: death_

 

_Gay: horror_

 

_Gay: destruction_

 

_Gay: THE RESURRECTION OF THE ANTI-CHRIST_

 

_AroAce: what the hell_

 

_Pansexuality: OH SHIT BLOODY MARY POSSESSED THE HOUSE_

 

_Pansexuality: oH S H I T THE DAD IS DEAD_

 

_Lesbian: brooke is watching the ep with her hands over her eyes but looking through her fingers_

 

_Pansexuality: dont expose me i want a divorce_

 

_Lesbian: >:0 _

 

_AroAce: EVERYONE SHUT UP_

 

_AroAce: JEREMYS BIRTHDAY IS IMPORTANT, AND IM CELEBRATING IT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!_

 

_AroAce: NOW WE ARE PLANNING JEREMYS BIRTHDAY!_

 

_AroAce: DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?_

 

_Lesbian: crystal_

 

_Bisexuality: sorry_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: sorry_

 

_Pansexuality: sorry_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: sorry _

 

_Gay: :(_

 

_Gay: lets plan his bday ok_

 

_Lesbian: ok_


	70. Chapter 70

_ {10: 47 PM, August 18, 2017}  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: alright hoes its the day b4 js bday  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: what we gonna do _

 

_ Bisexuality: theyre extremely tired forgive them _

 

_ Gay: road trip to the planetarium in DC is the plan _

 

_ Lesbian: dc??? _

 

_ Gay: my moms say we can bring their car _

 

_ Gay: and my nanay gave us 150 dollars for gas _

 

_ Gay: so whos coming?? _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: im free _

 

_ Pansexuality: me too! _

 

_ AroAce: ive got no plans as far as I know!  _

 

_ Lesbian: yup _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: sure _

 

_ Bisexuality: heidi says okay and evan says send pics _

 

_ Lesbian: nude pics? _

 

_ Pansexuality: CHLOE _

 

_ Bisexuality: no  _

 

_ Bisexuality: of the SCENERY _

 

_ Bisexuality: you perv _

 

_ Lesbian: alright /fingerguns/ _

 

_ Gay: ok and we have to leave soon _

 

_ AroAce: ill start packing _

 

_ Bisexuality: cool _

 

_ Lesbian: im packed already hoes _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: is jeremy packed? _

 

_ Gay: lemme ask _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Gay has sent a private message to FtMTrans&Bi _

 

_ Gay: ready for the road trip?? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: almost wheres my packer _

 

_ Gay: youre your own packer _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: NO  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: the thingy you put down there so it looks like you have a d  _

 

_ Gay: OH  _

 

_ Gay: its at my house _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ok first of all _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: wtf is it at your house _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: second of all  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: wtf do you know where it is  _

 

_ Gay: its at my house bc you left it here the last time you slept over _

 

_ Gay: and its laying on my bathroom floor  _

 

_ Gay: you left it there _

 

_ Gay: i havent touched it  _

 

_ Gay: its like parkour the ways i move around it _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: oh _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: sorry _

 

_ Gay: its fine _

 

_ Gay: other than that, youre good?? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: yea _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: also whyd you block me from the gc _

 

_ Gay: shit _

 

_ Gay has left the chat  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: hello _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ok asshole _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi has gone offline  _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Gay to Supernaturhoes  _

 

_ Gay: SHIT _

 

_ Gay: WHAT DO I SAY TO JEREMY ABT THE GC _

 

_ AroAce: say it glitched or something _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Gay has sent a private message to FtMTrans&Bi  _

 

_ Gay: the chat glitched _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi is now online  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: uh okay _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: can you?? Put me back?? Please??  _

 

_ Gay: uh yeah sure hang on a min _

 

_ Gay has gone offline _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Gay to Supernaturhoes  _

 

_ Gay: HES COMING BACK ON THE GC EVERYONE ACT NATURAL  _

 

_ Gay has added FtMTrans&Bi to the chat _

 

_ Bisexuality: pass the weed _

 

_ Lesbian: /various sex noises/ _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: WHERE ARE MY PANTS _

 

_ Pansexuality: harder daddy  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: WHEE WHOO _

 

_ AroAce: what  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi has gone offline  _

 

_ Gay: i cant believe you  _

 

_ Bisexuality: ;) _

 

_ AroAce: lmao _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi has sent a private message to Gay _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: our friends are weird _

 

_ Gay: youre weird _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: :0 >:( _

 

_ Gay: :) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The road trip will happen next chapter!!


	71. Idk what this is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lmao this is a ~continuation~ of last chapter bc I was trying to fir it in but it didn't work so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_ Gay to Supernaturhoes _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: tell them the story _

 

_Gay: THE STORY_

 

_ Gay: MMMMMMMMMMM  _

 

_ Gay: so a few days ago i head into my bathroom after jeremy had spent the night _

 

_ Bisexuality: ooh ;) _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: SSSSSSSSHUT THE FUCK UP _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: NOTHING HAPPENED  _

 

_ Gay: you know what _

 

_ Gay has restricted Bisexuality from texting in the group chat. They can still receive and review texts, but they cannot communicate. _

 

_ Lesbian: haha idiot _

 

_ Gay has restricted Lesbian from texting in the group chat. They can still receive and review texts, but they cannot communicate. _

 

_ Gay: anyways _

 

_ Gay: and so i turn on the light and i see a fuCKING DICK ON THE FLOOR _

 

_ Gay: A LEGIT PENIS _

 

_ Gay: so i screamed and my moms came running _

 

_ Gay: ‘whats wrong’ ‘oH NOTHING THERES JUST A PENIS ON MY BATHROOM FLOOR NBD NBD’  _

 

_ Gay: but then i realize its jeres packer so i explain it to them _

 

_ Gay: they laughed at my pain _

 

_ Gay: THEN today jere texts me and says ‘hey man where my packer’  _

 

_ Gay: i regretted every life choice that has lead to this moment _

 

_ Gay: ‘oh yeah its at my house’ ‘why the f’  _

 

_ Gay: so he goes ‘gimme’  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i did not say that asshole _

 

_ Gay: you know what im just blocking you out bc i need to focus right now _

 

_ Gay has restricted FtMTrans&Bi from texting in the group chat. They can still receive and review texts, but they cannot communicate. _

 

_ Gay: and so i go into the bathroom _

 

_ Gay: im faced with this dick _

 

_ Gay: so i pick it up with my foot and balanced it on top of my foot and im hopping to my bedroom _

 

_ Gay: and i kinda,,, flick it into the bag that was my Designated Jeremy Bag  _

 

_ Gay: and then close the bag  _

  
_ Gay: im a good boyfriend _


	72. Chapter 72

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just needed to update, sorry

“Broadway songs that always make you cry: go,” Christine said to the mostly quiet car.

 

“Does La La Land count?” Chloe asked. Jake made a pained noise. 

 

“Musical songs that make you cry: go,” Rich improvised. Christine nodded.

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“In that case,  _ Audition  _ from La La Land.” Chloe said, making a just-right symbol with her hand. Jeremy turned in his seat to face her.

 

“Why?” 

 

Chloe ‘mm’ed aggressively. 

 

“Emma’s voice is  _ beautiful,  _ you uneducated swine-” 

 

“Hey, that’s my boyfriend you’re talking to,” Michael said from the driver's seat. Chloe stuck out her tongue. 

 

_ “Anyways,  _ the song is gorgeous, and- I’m tearing up, fuck.” Chloe wiped her eyes with her fist, then shook it at Christine. “You did this to me!” 

 

Christine giggled. “Sorry.” 

 

“The Broadway song that makes me cry is  _ Santa Fe  _ from Newsies.” Michael piped up, causing Rich  to gasp and bounce in his seat. 

 

Brooke glared at him, Michael’s headphones over her own ears. He had offered them to her at the beginning of the ride, her sliding them on only a few minutes ago. Rich slowly stopped bouncing, but still looked excited.

 

“Newsies is the best!” Rich cheered. Jake smiled as they looked down at their phone, drumming their fingers on their knee.

 

“ _ Seventeen  _ always makes me cry.” They stated. Jenna looked up and turned in her seat.

 

“ _ Seventeen,  _ from… Heathers?”

 

Jake gave Jenna a blank look. 

 

“No, from Falsettos. Of  _ course  _ from Heathers!” They cried. Jenna raised an eyebrow.

 

“Why?” 

 

“Because they were in  _ love!  _ Veronica wanted to spend her whole life with J.D., and I think he wanted that too!” Jake started rambling. 

 

After thirty seconds, however, Rich smacked them lightly on the knee.

 

“Jeremy’s trying to say something, shut up.” 

 

Jake scowled, but shut up.

 

_ “I Dreamed A Dream  _ from Les Mis always makes me cry.” Jeremy said, looking in the mirror to make eye contact with everyone behind him.

 

There was a murmur of agreement.

 

“Les Mis makes me cry, period.” Brooke said. “Opening credits playing? Tears streaming down my face.” 

 

Jenna clapped her hands.

 

“Same.”

\---

Everyone else shared their tear-inducing songs, Jake teasing Brooke for liking  _ Shrek: The Musical.  _

 

“Screw you Jake,  _ Shrek: The Musical  _ is  _ art!”  _

 

Jenna always cried at  _ On My Own  _ from Les Mis, (Jeremy and her then sharing a high five and claiming Les Mis as trans culture,) Rich cried at  _ City Of Stars  _ from La La Land (“They  _ loved  _ each other! Why did they split?”) and Christine cried at  _ Tell Her I Love Her  _ from Urinetown. 

\---

“So, uh, where exactly are we going?” Jeremy asked.

 

“Somewhere.” Michael replied. 

 

“Sometimes I wonder why I date you,” Jeremy retorted, throwing popcorn in his direction.

 

“Don’t distract the driver!” Michael shrieked. Jenna snorted.

 

“Boys.” 

  
“Girls,” Jeremy, Michael, Jake, and Rich all retorted at the same time.


	73. Chapter 73

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OKAY so I'm a white person, and I need help.
> 
> Is it offensive to say that most girls in Pakistan wear hijabs? I don't want to offend anyone.
> 
> If you DO find anything offensive in this, please tell me, and then say how I can fix it! Thank you so much!

> Rich walked quietly down his stairs, opened the door to the outside, then was swept up in a hug from Steven.

 

“Hey bud! Got your clothes?”

 

Rich nodded and held up a plastic bag full of clothes. “They’re kinda dirty…”

 

Steven frowned, but quickly replaced it with a smile. “Well then, we’ll just need to go to the laundromat for a little. No big deal.”

 

Rich closed the door, then skipped to Steven’s car, stopping short.

 

Steven opened the passenger's seat, letting a girl climb out.

 

She was a little taller than Steven, with a scarf over her hair. Her eyes were a dark brown.

 

“Richie, this is Sylvia. Sylvia, this is Rich.” Steven introduced. Rich waved shyly, and Sylvia smiled sweetly.

 

“Hi, Rich. I’m Steven’s girlfriend.” Sylvia said, tucking a lock of her hair in her scarf.

 

“I like your scarf,” Rich said quietly.

 

“Thank you!” Sylvia smiled widely. Rich climbed into the car with a little help from Steven. Sylvia got back into the passenger's seat, Steven got in the driver's seat, and rev’ed the engine.

 

“Alright, Sylvia, me and Richie have to go to the laundromat for a little while. Is that okay?”

 

“Oh, of course!” Sylvia turned to face Rich. “Are you excited to be hanging out with your cousin?”

 

Rich perked up and smiled. “Yeah!”

 

Steven grinned, then turned up the volume on the radio. _Never Gonna Give You Up_ started playing. Sylvia snorted and smacked him lightly on his shoulder.

 

“Steven.” She said in an exasperated tone.

 

Rich decided that he liked Sylvia.

\---

Later, Rich was lying on his side and trying to nap. Steven’s house was an hour away from the laundromat; and that was twenty minutes away from Rich’s house. Steven and Sylvia were quietly talking.

 

“Rich is so _tiny._ How old is he?” Sylvia asked softly. Steven sighed.

 

“He’s five and only 3 feet tall. Last time I checked, he’s only 56 _pounds.”_

 

Sylvia made a pained sound.

 

“Why?”

 

“Well, he was born premature. Two months early. But that’s not _it,_ Sylvie. He never eats at my house, only when I beg him. Even then, after two bites, ‘I’m full.’ It hurts me, Sylvia, it really does.”

 

A pang of guilt went through Rich’s body.

 

“Shush, he could be listening.” Sylvia scolded him. Steven started talking again, only quieter.

 

“I don’t blame him. If that’s what you’re thinking, Syl, it’s wrong. I don’t blame him. I blame Uncle Randolph and Aunt Sandra. They’re not treating him right.”

 

“I understand, Steven, I really do.”

 

The car was silent as they pulled up at Steven's dorm. Steven opened Rich’s car door, then poked his stomach, making him squeal.

 

“Alright bud, get up. We’re gonna get your room all set up, then go get something to eat and a movie, okay?” Steven lifted him out of the car, grabbing the plastic bag that was full of (freshly-washed) clothes.

 

Rich nodded, sticking close to his leg as Sylvia got out of the car. She was fidgeting with her headscarf.

 

“Why do you wear that?” Rich asked, so quietly that he almost went unheard. However, Sylvia seemed to have excellent hearing.

 

“Hmm?” She asked, looking at him curiously. Rich tried to hide his face behind Steven’s leg.

 

“Your scarf…” He mumbled shyly. Sylvia laughed, squatting down so that they were the same height.

 

“My scarf is actually called a ‘hijab.’” Sylvia informed him. Rich peeked out from behind Steven’s leg.

 

“A… hijab?”

 

Sylvia nodded and stood, starting to walk towards the front door. Rich followed her.

 

“I’m from Pakistan. Most of the time, girls wear hijabs there, but not all the time.”

 

Rich hummed.

 

“That’s cool.”

 

“Well, as cool as you find my hijab, I find your shoes a lot cooler!”

 

Rich looked down at his shoes, which were pink converses.

 

“Thank you…” He said embarrassingly. Sylvia smiled and ruffled his hair.

 

“You’re welcome, honey.”


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy has really bad dysphoria in this chapter, so you don't have to read it if you don't want too!

_ Gay has sent a private message to FtMTrans&Bi _

 

_ Gay has named the chat Meremy Hell _

 

_ Gay: i love you _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: dont do that to yourself _

 

_ Gay: …???????? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: IM KIDDING IM KIDDING _

 

_ Gay: ok???? _

 

_ Gay: i created this chat bc we havent talked in a few days _

 

_ Gay: youre worrying me player one _

 

_ Gay: whats wrong? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: nothings wrong _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im fine mikey  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im just really busy _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im sorry for ignoring you i wont do it again i promise  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im sorry _

 

_ Gay: its fine, i just know that since me and my moms are going to florida for a few days… _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: !! and im happy youre going! _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: have fun!! Bring something from disney for me ;) _

 

_ Gay: ;)) my phones dying, see you in a few hours _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: see you!! _

 

_ Gay has gone offline _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i love you so much _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: and i know its selfish  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: why are you dating me _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: youre gay, and you deserve a real boy to love you _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: not some girl who panics at the mere sight of mtn dew _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: not some girl who calls herself a boy because shes not comfortable in her body _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: not some straight girl who thinks shes so special bc she is a TOMBOY and likes wearing boy clothes _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im sorry for lying to you michael _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im sorry for doing this but _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i need to break up with you. _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: we can still be friends, and i will still be pining after you. _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: but our relationship isnt healthy. You are a gay male, and im only a straight girl. _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i love you, michael. _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: and it hurts me to say this, but we cannot be together anymore. _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: goodbye, michael. I hope you find a nice boy to date.  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: I love you. _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi is now offline _

 

_ {3:49 AM} _

 

_ Gay is now online  _

 

_ Gay: do do dooo i love my boyfriend _

 

_ Gay: wait _

 

_ Gay: fuck fuck fuuuck _

_ Gay: fuck fuck fuck shit shit shit _

 

_ Gay: Jeremy??? _

 

_ Gay: Babe, what happened? _

 

_ Gay: Jeremy, talk to me. I’m worried. _

 

_ Gay: It’s not selfish that you love me, Jere-Bear. _

 

_ Gay: I love you too! _

 

_ Gay: Ever since fifth grade, ever since you came out as a boy to me, I’ve had stronger feelings for you. _

 

_ Gay: Even before then!  _

 

_ Gay: Jeremy, I love you so damn much. You’re funny and brave and happy, which are three amazing qualities to find in a human being. _

 

_ Gay: And I have the honor to DATE you?? What did I do in a past life to deserve you? _

 

_ Gay: I’m dating you because I love YOU, Jeremiah, not your body. _

 

_ Gay: I could care less about your body! That is not important! _

 

_ Gay: I would date you even if we didn’t have human bodies! If we were just souls floating in this universe with no physical mass, I would still date you! _

 

_ Gay: Jeremy, you are a real boy! You’re as much of a boy as me! _

 

_ Gay: You’re so damn strong and brave. If I had to stick needles in me everyday and inject testosterone in my body, I wouldn't be able do it! _

 

_ Gay: And periods???? Every month????? You know me and blood aren’t on good terms. _

 

_ Gay: You’re so brave!!! I’m gay for you!! So gay for you!!! _

 

_ Gay: I don’t care if you panic when you see mountain dew! You had a traumatic experience with it! Your feelings are valid!! _

 

_ Gay: Jeremiah Nikolas Heere, YOU ARE VALID. YOU ARE A BOY. YOU ARE A BOY, AND YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO WILL ENDLESSLY REMIND YOU OF HOW AMAZING AND HANDSOME AND STRONG YOU ARE. _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi is now online and reading past messages _

 

_ Gay: But, if you want to break up with me, it’s fine. If you’re not happy in our relationship, then we can break up. I just want you to be happy, Miah. And… And if that removes us being together in that equation, then that’s that.  _

 

_ Gay: I love you, Jeremiah. I hope you always remember that.  _

 

_ Gay: i love you _

 

_ Gay: I will never stop loving you _

 

_ Gay: ill love you till the day i die. _

 

_ Gay has gone offline _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im sorry mikey _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i love you too _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i dont want to break up _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i didnt mean it _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: you make me so happy _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i love you. I still want to be with you _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i love you _

 

_ Gay is now online _

 

_ Gay: i love you more _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i love you most _

 

_ Gay: i love you to infinity and beyond _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: was that a toy story reference? _

_ Gay: woody and buzz were so gay for each other admit it _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: haha _

 

_ Gay: <3 _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: <3  _


	75. Chapter 75

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rip

_ Bisexuality: IM YELLING  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: Youre always yelling rich _

 

_ Bisexuality: YES I KNOW BUT FOR THIS TIME ITS FOR A REASON _

 

_ Bisexuality: evan and jared were talking so i ran in and yelled ‘deSCRIBE YOUR SEX LIFE’  _

 

_ Lesbian: me _

 

_ Bisexuality: and evan is embarrassed but jared just pulls out xer phone _

 

_ Bisexuality: aND XE SEND ME THIS I CANT B R E A T H E _

 

_ Bisexuality:  _ [ _ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_mN2V3TxJBA _ ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_mN2V3TxJBA)

 

_ Pansexuality: HAHAHA _

 

_ Gay: same _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ketketetkwtjwtjjwtwtkkeywtktkwstkstk _

 

_ Bisexuality: HAHA I MADE JEREMY KEYBOARD SMASH  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: NYEAH NEYEAH NEYEAH _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: IM FUCKIN DYINGGG _

 

_ Bisexuality: evan isnt talking to me or xem  _

 

_ Bisexuality: he just stormed off whilst blushing madly _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi has changed the chat name to Fixing Relationships  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi has added Acorn and InsanelyInsecure to the chat _

 

_ Lesbian: welcome to hell _

 

_ Bisexuality: JARED BLEASE FOR MY SAKE  _

 

_ Bisexuality: APOLOGIZE TO EVAN  _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: rip sorry evan _

 

_ Acorn:  _ [ _ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qm-QoJcra8U _ ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qm-QoJcra8U)

 

_ Acorn has left the chat _

 

_ AroAce: THE VIDEO MAKES EVERYTHING  W O R S E _

 

_ Bisexuality: EVAN HOW COULD YOU _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: IM W H E E Z I N G _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: EVAN BLEASE _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: YOURE CAUSIBG YOUR DATEMATE ABD YOUR BROTHER PAIN PLEASE _

 

_ Acorn is now online _

 

_ Acorn: no _

 

_ Acorn has left the chat  _

 

_ Lesbian: what a bitch lmao _

 

_ AroAce: says the bitch of the group _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: WHOA _

 

_ Bisexuality: WHOA _

 

_ Gay: WHOA _

 

_ Gay: ps jared tell your bf hes hot bye _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: will do _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: :0 _

 

_ Gay: love you jere _

_ \--- _

 

_ Lesbian: holy fuckity fuck fuck chicken on a stick up my ass _

 

_ Bisexuality: kinky _

 

_ InsanelyInsecure: hey thats my line _

 

_ Bisexuality: Oh youre still here? _

 

_ Bisexuality has removed InsanelyInsecure and Acorn from the chat _

 

_ Gay: rip _

 

_ Lesbian: heyy michael remember when we were little kiddos and we went to the same daycare _

 

_ Gay: ugh unfortunately yeah _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ??  _

 

_ Gay: someone died _

 

_ AroAce: W H A T _

 

_ Lesbian: THEY DIDNT DIE THEY FAINTED THERES A DIFFERENCE  _

 

_ Gay: more or less _

 

_ Lesbian: anyways when we were like,,, three or somethin we were going on a walk with everyone else and we were both in those baby chairs that roll _

 

_ Bisexuality: … baby carriages? _

 

_ Lesbian: yeah those _

 

_ Lesbian: so we’re in these chairs and we had herseys kisses or somethin _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: they gave candy to a three-year old michael and chloe? _

 

_ Gay: another reason that the place fuckin sucked _

 

_ Lesbian: and i remember michael unwrapping the hersey kiss, putting the candy in his mouth _

 

_ Lesbian: rollin up the foil  _

 

_ Lesbian: and, v e r y  purposely, reaches over the little table thing  _

 

_ Lesbian: and he freAKINH DROPPED THE FOIL ON THE GROUND AND THEN LEANS BACK LIKE ‘im a good boy yes’  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: kinky _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: uM THEY WERE THREE _

 

_ Lesbian: >:(  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: yikes sorry _

 

_ Gay: ohh yeah then the person pushing me in the chair was like ‘michael did you just drop that?’  _

 

_ Lesbian: and you know what he said? _

 

_ Pansexuality: what? _

 

_ Lesbian: he turns in his seat to look up at the person and says ‘no’ _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: rip _

 

_ Bisexuality: god bless _

 

_ Gay: aw uwu thank you _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: say that again and im breaking up with you _

  
_ Gay: :( _


	76. Chapter 76

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's many acephobic and arophobic comments, so you don't have to read it if you don't want too!

Christine knew this was toxic. She knew that, if she didn’t want to have an existential crisis and mental breakdown, she shouldn’t be doing this. But she couldn’t stop herself from clicking forum after forum, tumblr after tumblr, of anti-ace and anti-aro petitions.

 

_ Ace and aro people do not belong in the LGBT+ community. Stop acting creepy.  _

 

_ Aro and ace ppl suck!! You don’t belong!! Take your gross selves somewhere else!!  _

 

_ Aro and ace people are disgusting and stupid. Don’t insert yourselves inside of the LGBT+ community. No one wants you here. _

 

_ People who say they’re ‘aro’ and ‘ace’ are just straight people who think they’re special. Don’t say you’re apart of the LGBT+ community. You’re erasing the purpose of our community. Go away, you transphobic and homophobic fucks.  _

Her chest felt heavy, and her breathing was weird. Her nose was burning. She started to close her tabs, but one post caught her eye and broke the dam.

 

_ Aro and ace people are freaks. Kill yourself, the world will be better without you in it. _

 

Freak. The word rang in her ears, her head.  _ Freak. Freak. You’re a freak. You don’t belong. _

 

Tears bubbled up in her eyes, and a wheezing sob tore through her chest. She started to cry, covering her mouth with her hand and trying to stifle her wailing. 

 

She wanted her parents here, but they were gone for a business trip and wouldn’t be home for a few more days. She was alone.

 

_ Freak _

 

She threw her phone at the wall, flinching at the loud  _ thump  _ it made. She fell backwards onto her bed, covering her face with her hands. She started to doubt her sexuality. 

 

She had definitely felt attraction towards Jake and Jeremy. Was she even aro? Or was she just a straight girl? Tears flowed down her cheeks, and she rolled on her side and into a ball. She doesn’t belong in her friend group.  _ Oh, look at Christine Elizabeth-Marie Cangulia. She thought she was aroace, but turns out she was just a creep.  _

 

Her phone buzzes. The only way she was able to hear it was because her phone definitely was possessed by a demon, who was shaken from its rest whenever she received a notification. She had named it Kevin. 

 

Kevin yells at her a few more times before she takes initiative and peels herself off of her bed, crawling on her knees because she’s still bawling and her knees go weak when she cries. She grabs her phone, shakily entering her password and lying on her side, her ribcage aching. 

 

It’s a text from Jake. 

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: Hey chris  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: you haven’t been talking in the gc, whats up? _

 

Despite Christine feeling absolutely  _ horrible, _ she smiled a tiny bit. Jake was like a child on an oily slide when it came to them trying to be cool. 

 

_ Ace and aro people are transphobic and homophobic  _

 

Her smile drops, and more tears fill her eyes. 

 

_ AroAce: im fine jakey  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: now i definitely know somethings wrong, you never call me that _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: im coming over. Ill be there in 5 min _

 

“Shit,” Christine hisses, and her phone falls out of her hand. She just stares forward, the light blue wall doing nothing to calm her.

 

_ Freak freak freak no one loves you _

 

She curls up, arms covering her ears as she tries to block everything out. It feels like she’s in Hell.

 

She just lays there, tears soaking her jean jacket arm, until she hears knocking downstairs. She jerkily gets up, sniffling and rubbing her eyes, and, when she gets there, opens the door. Jake has their crutches this time, and their eyebrows immediately furrow when they see Christine’s appearance. She vaguely thinks that she must look like a wife whose husband had disappeared by mysterious actions.     

 

Jake slowly walks in with wordless invitation by Christine, sits on the couch, and pats on the space next to them.

 

“Now tell grand-renny what’s wrong,” they say in a terrible old-person voice. Christine smiles smally, sitting next to Jake, pulling her legs up so she could sit partially on her feet. Jake drapes an arm over her shoulders. “What’s going on?”

 

Christine shrugs. “Everything kinda became too much at once, I guess,” she tells them, because who the hell wants to know about her sexuality crisis?

 

“What kind of everything?” Jake asks, and Christine feels irritated. Did she take her pills today?

 

“I dunno, just the world, or something,” she snaps, then feels guilty.  _ They’re just trying to help, you freak. _

 

“I understand,” Jake tells her, and she wants to start sobbing again. Why was Jake so understanding?

 

“Just- do you guys like me? Like, the squad?” Christine asks, and Jake looks confused.

 

“Of- of  _ course _ we like you, Christine. We love you!” Jake says, and Christine feels validated. “Why do you ask that?”

 

“Just- I’m on tumblr and I tell people that I’m aroace and some people send me links to anti-ace and anti-aro forums and websites, and I read one that said that aroace people don’t belong in the LGBT+ community, which is crazy, right?” Christine rambles, using her hands to elaborate. Jake nods.

 

“Right.” They say. Christine tells the whole story, even a few things she figured she should keep to herself, like her breakdown and Kevin and throwing her phone at the wall, but Jake doesn’t interrupt, they just listen, which Christine is so thankful for because  _ wow, I really do talk a lot, huh? _

 

“And I’m like, ‘Maybe I’m not aro, because I felt attraction to Jeremy and Jake, and-” 

 

Jake waves their hand in an effort for her to stop talking. She quickly shuts up. 

 

“Christine, do you know what a squish is?” Jake asks her, and she pokes their belly, them squeaking and batting her hands away.

 

“You’re squish-y,’’ She says, and they flush.

 

“Oh, shut up. Anyways, a squish is a platonic crush you have on someone, like when you really want to know the person and be their friend, but you don’t want to be in a relationship-relationship, you know?” Jake explains, and Christine is in shock.

 

There’s a  _ word  _ for that? Wow.

 

“Oh,” is all she’s able to say. 

 

“So I think that’s what you felt towards Jeremy and me, a squash.” A pause. “I mean squish.” There’s a beat of silence, then the two kids laugh loudly. 

 

“Yup, I definitely had one heck of a squash on you, Jake,” Christine giggles, snorting a little into her hand. Jake giggles.

 

“Ditto, Chris.” They both laugh some more, then a happy silence falls. 

 

“Squash,” Christine mutters, and they both snicker again, then Jake catches a glance of the TV remote. They reach for it, then flick on the TV, scrolling through Christine’s movie choices.

 

“Of course you watch  _ Moana  _ and  _ An American Tail, _ ” Jake snarks, and Christine smacks them lightly on the chest.

 

“Leave me alone, they’re good movies.” 

 

Jake ends up picking  _ Anastasia,  _ and as the opening credits begin to play, the two kids bask in the silence. Christine marvels at how amazing her friends all are, and Jake marvels how at how happy Christine looks when  _ Once Upon A December  _ starts to play.

  
They’re both happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GIVE ME PLATONIC JAKE AND CHRISTINE FRIENDSHIP BLEASE THEY HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL


	77. Chapter 77

Sometimes, Chloe really regretted being a bitch.

 

It always followed her, no matter how hard she tried to suppress it. She would snip at her friends, and even though they always laughed about it and told her it was fine, she still felt guilt boiling in her stomach. If people would just leave her alone, she would be fine. But her family loved talking to her. 

 

Don’t get her wrong, she loved her family. She just loved them a little more when they didn’t ask her where she was going to college (undetermined), about her friends (how do you explain the SQUIPcident without sounding crazy?) or, God forbid, the dreaded ‘boyfriend’ question. (“Where did Jake go? He was a nice boy.” “I broke up with them.” “Any other boy catching your eye?” ‘Well, I’m a lesbian, so no.’ But she never says the last statement aloud, only smiles and tries to not cringe at people misgendering Jake.)

 

Ah, the struggles of living within a rich, white, Christian, and suburban family. 

 

But one person always irritated her to the point of insanity. Her grandmother. She knows that sounds bitchy as fuck, and she needs to ‘respect her elders’ and all that, but God. That woman really rubbed her the wrong way. 

 

Always “Chloe, darling, are your friends nice to you?” Which isn’t that bad, she knows, but when her grandmother starts asking if Rich does drugs and if Brooke drank, her eye began to twitch. Why does she need to know that?

 

Or her constant “Chloe, I’m so glad you’re a girl. I just don’t know what I’ll do if you were a boy!” Like, really? What if Chloe was really Charlie or something? She knows she isn’t, but praises God that Jeremy (or Jenna and Jake, for that matter) didn’t have this woman as a family member.

 

But when she accidentally lets it slip that Michael is gay, her grandmother cringes. 

 

“Oh, is he sure? How does he know?” Oh boy.

 

“Well, he is dating a boy, so-“ Shut the fuck up Chloe, you’re digging a goddamn hole and you’re just going to end up mad. 

 

“What’s his boyfriends name?”

 

“Jeremy?”

 

“Didn’t you once have a friend named Michael? He was a little tan boy?” Tan? Really? He’s Filipino and Ecuadorian, not tan.

 

“Yeah, grandma, he’s the same kid.” 

 

“And he’s a homosexual?” Wow, big mouthful there. Just say gay, he’s fine with it. But the way her grandmother spits the word out, like it’s poison, grates against Chloe’s nerves.

 

“Uh, yeah.”

 

Has he…” Her grandmother trails off, and Chloe goes on defense.

 

“Has he what?”

 

“Has he tried to… touch another boy? Someone who isn’t Jeremy?”

 

Chloe could’ve laughed. Michael is a flirt, yes, she won’t deny it, but he wouldn’t cheat on Jeremy. Actually, she does laugh. She laughs shortly and harshly, the sound tumbling out of her throat.

 

“Oh, so just because he’s gay, he’s going to cheat on Jeremy?”

 

“No, that isn’t what I meant.” 

 

“Really? Because it sounds like it.” 

 

“Chloe Elise, you need to respect me!” I will, once you stop judging Michael based on his sexuality. She says that exact statement, and her grandmother tells her mother. Tattletale. Her mother goes off on her, telling her she needs to respect her grandmother because she’s getting old. What a load of crap. Her grandmother can make homophobic remarks, but she can’t call her out on them? Bullshit.

—

The day she finally snaps starts pretty nicely. She’s in the basement of her grandmother's house, ‘Eleanor Rigby’ by The Beatles playing in her earbuds, two little kids playing at her feet. One is two years old, and one is seven. The seven year old is trying to get the two year old to say his name, which is Max.

 

“Maxie, can you say Mmmmmmm-ax?” Chloe asks, pulling a earbud out of one ear. Max looks up at her, and shrugs. Both her and the seven-year-old laugh. 

 

“Max!” The kid chastises, shaking his finger in Max’s face. “Can you please try?” 

 

“Mmmmmmm-ax!” Chloe sing-songs. 

 

“Max,” he finally whispers. Both of the older kids cheer.

 

“Good job Max!” The other kid says, trying to give Max a high-five. Max only looks at it in confusion. Chloe laughs then turns back to her phone, restarting the song playing, which was some Lindsey Stirling song she could never remember the name of. A quick check to the name reveals it as  _ Brave Enough _ with Christina Perri singing. 

 

An hour passes, then her grandma heads downstairs.

 

“Chloe, it’s time for you to get off of your phone and give it to me.” Her grandma holds out an expectant hand, and Chloe feels her eye twitch. 

 

“I don’t need to give it to you, I can just turn it off and put it under a pillow.” 

 

“I would feel more comfortable if you would give it to me.”

 

“Why?” Xander, the seven year old, stops playing and listens.

 

“Because I don’t trust you. Give me your phone.” Her grandmother has a more stern tone. Chloe wants to laugh. Xander looks vaguely uncomfortable.

 

“Oh, you don’t  _ trust  _ me? I don’t trust you! You once looked at my phone, went through my text messages, without telling me!” 

 

“I have a right to, I am your  _ grandmother.”  _

 

Chloe laughs harshly and loudly, standing and facing her grandmother, towering over her by four inches.

 

“That is  _ not  _ a right you possess! That is an invasion of privacy!” When Chloe gets angry, her voice cracks and changes pitches. It’s funny when she looks back at it, but at the moment, she is  _ furious.  _

 

“Stop yelling at me.” Her grandma swipes for the phone, but Chloe holds it out of reach. 

 

“I’m not yelling.” Her voice is cold. Xander gets up and pulls Max into another room, shutting the door. Smart kid. 

 

“Yes, you are.” 

 

_ “This is yelling!”  _ Chloe raises her voice, and her grandmother looks shocked before grabbing Chloe’s wrist and pulling her close to her face.

 

“I am going to slap you!” Her grandma yells right back, and Chloe’s voice goes calm.

 

“That’s  _ child abuse.”  _ She hisses.

 

“I know, but the police would agree with me if they knew how much of a brat you are!  _ Give me your phone!”  _ Chloe slams the phone into her hand, rips the earbuds out of her ears, and storms to her room, shutting the door with more force than necessary. She flops on her bed, muttering angrily to herself and beating a pillow with her fists. She screams into another pillow, her feet joining the flurry. She feels like a five year old throwing a temper tantrum, but at the moment she doesn’t care.

 

At one point, she starts crying, thumping her feet and fists into her bed and crying out with anger-filled grunts and squeals. Tears make the bed wet, and she slowly stops kicking and screaming, only feeling exhausted. Her hands itch to make something, whether it be baking or refinishing a table or crocheting or knitting. But, when she tries to move, she grows more and more tired, so she just lays there, staring at her nail. Brooke had painted it green, and Jenna had added little blue dots.  She falls asleep.

\---

She wakes up two hours later to a small origami crane and a origami bunny on her bedside table, with a handwritten note.

 

_ Grandma says you were naughty, but she was looking at your phone, so I told her to stop. She got mad, but stopped. I made these for you, and I remembered all of your instructions!  _

 

_ Grandma says she’s sorry. She’s charging your phone.  _

 

_ Max drew something for you. I think you got his anger therapy session, though. He kept on hitting the crayons on the paper and breaking them. At least his chaos is pretty, like you always say. I hope you feel better. _

 

_ Love, _

 

_ Xander Valentine _

 

Chloe smiles weakly, and looks at the drawing. It’s a mess of red and purple and blue, but, as the note said, it’s pretty in a chaotic, messy way. Chloe makes a mental note to hang it up on her art wall at home. 

 

Her attention goes to the origami next. The crane is very well done, and Chloe smiles at it. Xander really was listening to her instructions, huh? The bunny is flat, so Chloe puts her mouth to the little opening and blows it up, the bunny puffing up like a balloon and the ears raising. There’s a few creases where they shouldn’t be, but all in all, it’s beautiful.

 

Chloe sits up and goes to her bathroom, splashing some water in her face and fully waking herself up. She runs her fingers through her hair, ruffling the short strands (she had cut it to a bob the day after graduation) and tries to puff up the lock of hair in front of her left eye. It doesn’t work. 

 

She stays downstairs and goes back to bed, but is pounced on by an eager Xander.

 

“Chloe! We made Everything Waffles! Even Max!” 

 

Chloe quirks an eyebrow.

 

“Really? Did you put in… cinnamon?”

 

“Yup!” Xander’s eyes are bright.

 

“Bananas?” 

 

Another happy nod.

 

“Blueberries?” 

 

“Uh-huh! Max stirred it and everything!” Xander flaps his hands happily, and Chloe ruffles his hair.

 

“Look at you, sticking to tradition!” She says, impressed. 

 

The Valentine’s are very traditional. To make the Valentine Everything Waffle, the oldest person there must mash the bananas, pick out the blueberries, and measure the cinnamon. The youngest stirs, and the middle child pours the batter into the waffle maker. Chloe’s mom likes to joke about the time she stirred the batter when she was the oldest, and the waffles came out burnt. 

 

Xander had been trying to succeed at making VEW (Chloe had made the abbreviation, and she was extremely proud of it) ever since he was five. The first time, he forgot the cinnamon, second time, Brooke had swiped a blueberry and messed up Xander’s count. Both times had still tasted good, but Xander was a perfectionist. 

 

“Wanna come try it?” Xander is tugging at her skirt anxiously, so Chloe stands and says,

 

“Sure. I’ll be able to pick out everything though, so pray you put everything in,” she jokes, and Xander giggles.

 

“You’re not gonna find  _ anything  _ wrong with these!” He bets, and Chloe laughs genuinely.

 

“I take that as a challenge.”

  
“Challenge accepted!”


	78. Chapter 78

Rich doesn’t really know when he starts recovering from his depression. He knows it came back a while after he started dating Jake, which was really shitty because Jake is a really nice person who likes to do things.

And, with Rich’s depression, he doesn’t really _do_ anything other than lay in bed and stare at a wall. Of course, he then has intrusive thoughts, but he doesn’t tell Jake those because they are his datemate, not his therapist.

But, maybe he starts recovering when Heidi and Evan get together enough money to give him a therapist and antidepressants. Maybe he starts recovering to get his ass together when Evan falls into his seasonal depression. Maybe he starts recovering when he comes home from Jake’s house one day, to see Jared leaning against the door to the kitchen, watching Evan bustle around.

Rich goes to stand by xem, starting to also watch Evan. He isn’t doing anything remarkable, just getting ingredients together to make cookies. But then, when Rich tries to say something, Jared holds up a hand, cutting him off. Xe then tilts xyr head back, letting it _thump_ gently against the doorway. Then Rich hears it. It’s soft, very soft, but it’s there.

He’s singing. Evan is singing. If it was under any other circumstances, Rich would fail to see what the big deal was about, but now, in this situation, he understands. He slowly starts to smile.

What Evan is singing isn’t all that impressive, it sounds like a Disney song, but what it implies is what counts. It means Evan feels _better._

Jared leaves the doorway, and Rich follows xem. It feels like he’s being clingy, and when Jared looks back and sees him he starts to apologize, but Jared just waves him off. Xey head into the laundry room, where Heidi looks up from folding one of Rich’s shirts.

“Hey, kiddos. What’s-” Heidi starts, but Jared just takes her by the hand, leads her away from her work, and brings her to the kitchen, after Rich silently warns her to be quiet. She looks a bit frazzled by these children dragging her ominously to a room, but then her face softens when she hears Evan singing. Her hands lift to cover a smile, but her eyes give it away.

They just watch Evan sing softly in the kitchen, sometimes letting out giggles when he screws up the lyrics, until Heidi whispers in a shaking voice,

“He’s _singing_ again.”

Rich looks at her, and she’s crying.

Of course, then Evan stops singing and panics a little, but then Heidi hugs him and Jared hugs him and Rich is awkwardly patting his back, until Heidi pulls him in too, and then they’re all hugging.

It’s at this moment, that Rich realizes he wants to sing again.

Maybe that’s when Rich starts recovering. He knows that he’s feeling better when he calls Heidi ‘mom’ for the first time.

He was sitting in his room, writing in his dream journal. Both Chloe and Jared had teased him for having one, but when Brooke reveals that Chloe also has a dream journal and Evan says that Jared draws whatever xe dreamt, they both stop.

He’s halfway through a sentence when Heidi calls through his door.

“Rich? Are you up?”

“Yup.” He yells back, finishing his sentence.

“Today, can you help Evan and I go on a grocery run? I usually would let you stay home, but…” Heidi walks by his room, brushing her hair.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Good, because we’re picking Evan up at his dorm in thirty minutes, and the college is thirty-five minutes away, so we gotta hustle!”

Rich finishes his entry, runs his fingers through his hair, brushes his teeth, and hops into his shoes. He already had his normal clothes on, don’t worry. He grabs his phone and a book, catching an apple that Heidi throws at him. He gets in the car, Heidi following short after.

Rich opens his book, taking a bite of the apple. There’s about ten miles of silence, then he rolls down the window, planning to chuck the core outside, towards the trees. Before he can, however, Heidi warns,

“Don’t even think about it, buster.”

Rich pouts.

“Why not? The trees need food.”

“Honey, that’s people food. Trees need tree food.You learned this in kindergarten.” Heidi tells him slowly. Heidi should’ve been a comedian, Rich thinks. She can change her voice to sound different, and she can say almost anything with a straight face.

“What about the Lorax?” Rich says in mock distress. Heidi smiles.

“The Lorax can fend for himself, Rich. He’s a big Lorax, he can handle it.”

Rich rolls his eyes.

“Okay, mom.” The car suddenly jolts, and Rich realizes how easily the word came out. Heidi looks shocked.

“What… did you just call me?” She asks, and Rich starts to panic.

“I-I’m sorry, it-it was- I-”

Heidi shakes her head quickly.

“No, no, Rich, you’re panicking, just breathe. Deep breaths, remember?”

Rich nods and breathes deeply, his hands relaxing from the curled position they were in. After a few minutes of that, Heidi whispers,

"Mom. You called me mom.” She laughs. “I’m your mom? Can I be your mom?”

Rich smiles and shrugs.

“I guess.”

A happy squeal from Heidi.

“I’m a _mom!_ To two children! Two!”

“Yep, that is how many kids you have,” Rich says, looking back at his book.

“Oh, hush, you.” Heidi starts chanting quietly. “I’m a mama, I’m a mama, to two kids! Two kids! Whoo-hoo!”

“‘Whoo-hoo?’” Rich snorts, trying to stifle it with his hand. Heidi scowls playfully at him.

“Once we get out of this car, I am cuddling you so tightly.”

“I will look forward to that.”

“You better.”

Yeah. That’s when he was positive that he was feeling a little (a lot) better.


	79. Chapter 79

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> American culture is crying your eyes out when you find out Lilo And Stitch is being taken off Netflix tbh
> 
> I wrote this entirely out of my depression when I found that out because Lilo And Stitch is pretty much my main reason for living
> 
> America is crazy right now please don’t judge we’re not in the best place right now thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some homophobic and transphobic comments, and Jeremy is called a 'tranny' (Michael fucking decks the person though, and Jeremy isn't there to witness it) but I just wanted to warn you! You don't have to read it if you don't want to!

Michael doesn’t swear a lot. Jeremy knows this. He even knows why.

 

When they were seven or so, Jeremy had invited Michael over to play the new Pokemon game. They went to Jeremy’s basement, sat on his bed, and booted the game up, after a small argument about what gender the sprite would be. 

 

_ “Well, I’m a girl, and I own the game.” Jeremy said, not knowing at the time that, in fact, he was not a girl. Michael scowled. _

 

_ “I know how to play the stupid game.” Michael grumbled. Jeremy gasped a little and put his hand over Michael’s mouth.  _

 

_ “You can’t say that word!” Jeremy told him. Michael licked Jeremy’s hand, Jeremy squealing and pulling his hand back, scrubbing it on his pillowcase. “Ew!” _

 

_ “Why not? Ryan says it.”  _

 

_ “Well, that’s Ryan, not us. And mama says I can’t say it.” Jeremy said, feeling very grown up. Michael rolled his eyes. _

 

_ “Fine. Make the person a boy.” _

 

_ “Girl!” _

 

_ “Boy!” _

 

_ “DAD!” Jeremy yelled. _

 

_ They ended up making the sprite a girl, but Michael was able to name all of the captured Pokemon.  _

 

They had played for a while, switching the DS back and forth, and Michael naming the Pokemon with old video game names, like Pit and Yuffie, the latter met with a disgusted face. 

 

_ “Yuffie? What the world is a Yuffie?” Jeremy asked, and Michael giggled. _

 

_ “It’s a secret,” Michael teased, handing the DS back to Jeremy, who was pouting. _

 

It wasn’t until they got to the first gym that Michael screwed up. 

 

_ They started the level again, Michael clearly getting irritated. He pressed each button forcefully, and he was muttering under his breath. _

 

_ Their character died, and Michael broke. _

 

_ “Why can’t we defeat this  _ goddamn  _ level?” He yelled, and then slapped a hand over his mouth, making panicked eye contact with Jeremy when they heard someone walking down the stairs.  _

 

_ Jeremy’s mom arrived, glaring at the two children. _

 

_ “Did I just hear the ‘G-D’ word?” She asked, Jeremy quickly coming to Michael’s defense.  _

 

_ “Mama, he was just angry, he didn’t-”  _

 

_ “Not now, Joanna. You two are seven. You should not know that word!” Jeremy’s mom said, mumbling, “And that’s why two lesbians shouldn’t raise a child, they’re always going to end up wrong.”  _

 

_ “Don’t talk about my mommies like that!” Michael snapped. He closed the DS, dropped it in Jeremy’s lap, and walked out, pushing none-too-gently Jeremy’s mom out of the way. “Bye, Joanie.” _

 

_ Jeremy only waved at the back of his head. His mom went to go lay down in her room.  _

 

Yeah. Michael didn’t swear again until Freshman year. Even then, it was only a quick ‘oh, fuck’ when he dropped his phone on the ground, and an apology to Jeremy. 

 

The only times he ever puts more than two swears together is when they get teased, or when Jeremy is called a girl.

 

_ “Hey, where’s your girlfriend?” _

 

_ “I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m gay, the thought of me having a girlfriend physically repulses me,” Michael replies smoothly, raising an eyebrow. The bully scoffs. _

 

_ “Oh really? Then why are you dating Joanna?” _

 

_ “Who?” Oh boy. Michael feels his fist start to clench. _

 

_ “Joanna Heere! The tra-” A fist collides with the guy’s jaw, cutting off his sentence.  _

 

_ “You better shut the fuck up, you piece of shit,” Michael hisses, pulling his fist back again. The kid laughs, rubbing his jaw with a hand. _

 

_ “Aw, are we hurting your feelings? Listen, Mike, you have a girlfr-” Another hit, this time to the guy’s stomach. Michael is growling under his breath, his knuckles starting to ache. _

 

_ “My boyfriend’s name is Jeremy, asshole. And if you ever talk to him,” Michael squats so that he and the kid are face to face, “I’ll kill you.” _

 

Luckily, Jeremy wasn’t there to witness that. That would’ve been hard to explain. 

 

Michael only swears when he texts. Rich had proposed making a drinking game out of it, to the excitement of Chloe. It’s kind of funny.


	80. Chapter 80

_ Pansexuality: holy shit im gonna actually cry _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: good tears or bad tears? _

 

_ Pansexuality: bad tears _

 

_ Pansexuality: very bad tears _

 

_ Gay: what happened? _

 

_ Pansexuality: im watching mulan with sydney and we got to the part before the huns raid the village, like with the little girls doll _

 

_ Lesbian: oh i hate that part _

 

_ Pansexuality: and so shan-yu is like ‘the little girl must be missing her doll, lets go return it to her’ and sydney turns to me and says _

 

_ Pansexuality: ‘thats a nice thing to say. Why is he the bad guy?’ _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: and now im crying _

 

_ Pansexuality: and i had to explain it to her _

 

_ Bisexuality: what?? _

 

_ Bisexuality: i havent watched that movie in years _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: come over hoe we’re watching mulan _

 

_ Gay: remember when they took it off netflix but then people got mad _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: STRIKE STRIKE STRIKE  _

 

_ Bisexuality: im scared to watch this movie _

 

_ Gay: dont be its my favorite movie _

 

_ Bisexuality: and now im even more scared _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mulan is a relatable movie _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: how? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i wish i came out with singing ‘relflection’ _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: OH FUCK  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: OH FUCK  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi to Fuck Your Gender Assumptions _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: JEREMY YOU GAVE ME A IDEA  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: ME TOO  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: what _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: I CAN COME OUT TO MY FAMILY FRIENDS BY SINGING RELFECTION  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: AND I CAN CHANGE THE LYRICS A LITTLE HOLY FUCK JAKE CAN DO IT TOO I  A M  E X C I T E _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: calm down _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: I W I L L  N O T _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: rich and i are watching mulan and the short hair theme came on and rich just starts to bounce im gonna cry hes so adorable i cant _

 

_ FtmTrans&Bi: i have weird friends _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: dont lie youre just as weird as us _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: how  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: once you texted me and sent me the ‘what the fuck, richard’ vine at 3;12 am and said ‘when rich burned down your house lmao’  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: once you quoted finding nemo when you poked michael’s stomach and said ‘i will name you squishy and you will be my squishy’ and when michael smacked you you just said ‘ow! Bad squishy!’ _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i was sleep deprived both times leave me alone _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: if i may add some more you once went up to my face and said ‘hah-hurr’ like maya from girl meets world _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: that was fun not gonna lie _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: anyways my girlfriends are both the fuckin best suck it losers _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: well youre the only one with a girlfriend in the gc at the moment so :/ _

 

_ J.Lau: hey there _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: hey jo _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: i regret many life decisions  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: as you should _


	81. Chapter 81

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another texting chapter sorry

_ FtMTrans&Bi: so broadway newsies is on netflix _

 

_ Pansexuality: FEHFHFFHDVHYREWUOH  _

 

_ Lesbian: really?? _

 

_ Lesbian has changed their name to 1-800-Les-Bian _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: CHLOE N O _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: CHLOE Y E S  _

 

_ Gay: catchy _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: michaels just grumpy bc i didnt let him replay santa fe on the tv  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: so now hes angrily listening to the broadway recording and not looking at me _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: aww michaels a grump _

 

_ Gay: say that again and i will slaughter you  _

 

_ Bisexuality: trust me had it not been for the laws of this land i wouldve slaughtered you long ago @michael _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: babe,,, you arent killing me,,, your datemate??? _

 

_ Bisexuality: oh trust me ill kill you first then michael _

 

_ Gay: i cant believe youre putting jake in front of me _

 

_ Bisexuality: yeah cuz we aint fucking mikeyboy  _

 

_ Gay: but we’ve known each other longer _

 

_ Bisexuality: remember second grade yeah you were a asshole _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: WOAH PLOT TWIST  _

 

_ Gay: yeah sorry about that _

 

_ Bisexuality: oh please its fine _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: can i be killed too? _

 

_ Bisexuality: youll be my partner in crime _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: :D who do we kill first  _

 

_ Bisexuality: brooke _

 

_ Pansexuality: YAAY _

 

_ Pansexuality: MY SWEET CRAVING FOR DEATH HAS BEEN ANSWERED _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: you do know that the government sees this shit right _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: the gov be like _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian:  _ **_[man-eating-popcorn.jpg]_ **

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: im wheezing help _

 

_ Bisexuality: no help you suffer alone  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: TOP TEN ANIME BETRAYALS  _

 

_ Gay: and by your own boyfriend :( poor jake  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: they lived as they died, alone and with no friends _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: rUDE!1!!1!1!11 _

 

_ Gay:  _ _ ¯ _ _ \ _ _ _ _ _ (ツ ) _ _ _ / ¯ _ _ thats just the truth my friend _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: the government yall _

 

_ Bisexuality: god bless america _

 

_ Bisexuality: do you think they're gone _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: yeah definitely _

 

_ Bisexuality: Cool bc we’re killin you next Chloe _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: >:0 betrayed _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: bye  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: >>:00 _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: rude!!11!!  _

 

_ Gay: rest in spaghetti  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: never forgetti  _

 

_ Bisexuality: Always regretti rip _

 

_ Pansexuality: i think you mean ris @rich _

 

_ Bisexuality: i neED TO LEAVE _

 

_ Bisexuality has gone offline  _

_ \--- _

 

_ Acorn has sent Non Bi Bi Bi a private message _

 

_ Acorn: hey Jake _

 

_ Acorn: I understand if youre sleeping or something but… _

 

_ Acorn: Rich was laughing and singing today. _

 

_ Acorn: and it was Real. I could tell it was Real. _

 

_ Acorn: bc usually he laughs or smiles, but once you look away his smile drops, and his eyes look blank... _

 

_ Acorn: but today, i dont know what you two were textin about, but he was giggling at it. _

 

_ Acorn: and then we all watched Newsies, and he was SINGING, Jake! Actually singing! He looked so happy!  _

 

_ Acorn: I know that his depression and anxiety maybe makes you nervous, I get that. But thank you for staying by his side. It means a lot to see him look so happy. _

 

_ Acorn: and I know I’ve only been his foster brother for, what, six weeks? But I love him as much as I would if he were my birth brother.  _

 

_ Acorn: Thank you. I approve of your relationship. _

 

_ Acorn has gone offline _


	82. Chapter 82

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @certifiednbtrash for talking about comfort objects with me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brooke is overstimulated in this chapter, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to!

Brooke doesn’t like people touching her.

If someone shakes her awake, she’s immediately in a bad mood all day, and whenever someone even comes  _ close  _ to touching her, she gives them an evil glare that then gets her in trouble. 

She hates the feeling of when she starts to get overstimulated, and her skin feels itchy and crawly, and then someone touches her and the feeling gets ten times worse. It’s even  _ more  _ terrible when she’s in a place that is  _ too loud  _ and  _ too many people  _ and she’s crowded and some stranger bumps into her and she wants to scream at the top of her lungs  _ go away go away _

But then Chloe or Jenna put an arm over her and lets her bury her face into their shoulder, or when sweet little Sydney whose only eight hugs her around the waist, and her heart stops racing, her skin feels more like skin, and she can breathe again.

Music helps calm her down, also. When she gets anxious because everyone is yelling and being  _ loud  _ she gets her earbuds, or Michael’s headphones if she’s lucky, plugs them into her phone, and starts up a playlist that she’s spent months working on. Coldplay starts, usually  _ Vida La Viva  _ or  _ Speed of Sound,  _ and she loses herself in the heavy bass and calming harmonies.

Of course, it’s all broken if someone scrabbles on the headphones or takes her earbud out to talk to her, but that only happened once with her dad, and once she nearly broke down in tears when he did, he left her alone.

She also has comfort objects. Her baby blanket is one; it’s pale yellow and made out of some type of really soft yarn and crocheted, and she cuddles with it whenever she feels even  _ slightly  _ anxious. That baby blanket, in fact, is the main reason she has a big, oversized sweater. They’re both pale yellow, they’re both crocheted, and they’re both soft. Another comfort object is her pillow.

But, one day, she doesn’t have any of that. They’re at Michael’s house, Chloe and Jenna were both at family events, and Brooke had stopped bringing her blankie everywhere when she was ten. 

The music was way too loud, even if it was barely playing. She had had a bad day, and she was shaky and nervous and-

Jake accidently touches her. They only barely do it, just a slight brush to her arm, but she jerks away like they set her on fire. She glares at them, breathing heavily. They look at her and they might’ve asked what was wrong, but everything was  _ too loud too loud  _ and her skin was _ crawling  _ and her brain felt so fuzzy and-  _ get OUT  _

Her hands go to her hair and tighten, a squeal ripping out of her chest and hunching over.

The music stops, and no one speaks.

Brooke’s eyes are tightly shut, tears building in them anyways. Her anxiety adds into the stress, because she can  _ feel  _ everyone staring at her and  _ go away go away  _

“Brooke?” Someone asks lowly, and she flinches, but cracks her eyes open, her fists still wrapped in hair. She must’ve fallen down at one point, because she sees Michael on his knees and they’re face-to-face. Michael’s eyes are a darker brown than she originally thought.

Her brain goes on a tangent about eye colors. Hers are a honey brown; Rich’s are a muddy brown, but they’re still pretty; Christine’s are a rich brown color; Jake’s eyes are hazel and blue because they have two-colored eyes; Jeremy’s are dark blue-ish; Jenna’s are a little darker than hers; and Chloe has green eyes. 

Christine, somehow, gets one of her comfort sweaters. It’s not her yellow one, surprisingly; it’s dark green with little butterfly patches that Brooke remembers seeing Christine wear in ninth grade. It’s huge, and warm, and a comfort object. 

Brooke then remembers that Michael keeps comfort sweaters for whenever someone had a bad day. They all have different ones.

Brooke snatches it from Christine and pulls it on, pulling the hoodie over her head and rocking back and forth, her head on her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs. Her skin starts to feel more like skin. Her whines and tears go away.

Ten minutes later, she looks up, out of her green fleece, slightly blushing when she sees people look away so she doesn’t feel anxious. Her friends are amazing. 

“S-sorry you had to see that,” she mumbles, sniffing and wiping away her tears. Jeremy smiles and looks at her, but doesn’t hold eye contact with her. She doesn’t like making eye contact. 

“It’s fine, Brooke.” Michael then assures her.

  
Brooke starts to feel sleepy, so she asks if she could go home. Christine takes her, but she falls asleep in the car. When she wakes up, she’s on her couch at home, still wearing the jacket. She cuddles deeper into it, then dozes off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you see where my writing quality dropped lmao


	83. Chapter 83

_ Gay: i have decided to change my name _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: is there something you need to tell me? _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: are you one of us _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: oNE OF US  _

 

_ Gay: my middle name is no longer andrew _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: oh _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: oh :/ _

 

_ Gay: i am now _

 

_ Gay: Michael Salazar Mell _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: im sorry w h a t _

 

_ Bisexuality: who is she _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: whered she come from _

 

_ Pansexuality: whered she go _

 

_ AroAce: whered she come from _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: cotton eye joe _

 

_ Gay: FYCK ALL OF YOU  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: babe why salazar _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: salazar slytherin?  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: EXPOSED MICHAEL IS A SLYTHERIN _

 

_ Gay: EXCUSE YOU I AM A  H U F F L E P U F F _

 

_ Bisexuality: SLYTHERIN MICHAEL SLYTHERIN MICHAEL  _

 

_ Gay: IM GONNA DO IT  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: do what _

 

_ Gay: you know _

 

_ Gay: it  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: specific _

 

_ Gay: leave me alone jake _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: :)) _

_ \--- _

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: whats poppin my dudes _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: say that again and i am chopping your dick off with a butcher knife _

 

_ Bisexuality: IM GAGGINH _

 

_ Gay: OH GOD I CAN FEEL THAT FBFWNQBFBTFWWRBBQFQBFQFB _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: lmao pussies _

 

_ AroAce: jeremy babe plz _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: >:) _

 

_ Gay: hey uh is it normal for a bruise to be purple bc i just got out of the shower and _

 

_ Gay:  _ **_leggy.jpg_ **

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: look at that leg _

 

_ Pansexuality: leg so hot you could fry an egg _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: my girlfriends are weird _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: love you _

 

_ Pansexuality: love you _

 

_ Bisexuality: i cant see the purple  _

 

_ Gay: exposed ladies and gentlemen _

 

_ Bisexuality: waIT WHAT _

 

_ Bisexuality: WHAT  _

 

_ Gay: :) _

 

_ Bisexuality: L O O K _

 

_ Bisexuality: I DID NOT A S K TO BE BORN THIS WAY  _

 

_ Bisexuality: WJWFJFWNFWNFNNFWNFW _

_ \--- _

_ Gay: white people are just- w o w _

 

_ Bisexuality: michael thats racist! _

 

_ Gay: BIOTCH _

 

_ Gay: DONT YOU START FLIPPING THE TABLES ON ME U PIECE OF WHITE PAPER STEPPED ON BY A SHOE . _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: im _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: i _

 

_ AroAce: wow _


	84. Chapter 84

Michael was swinging his legs idly on the office chair, looking around the room. His knuckles were aching, and his cheeks were itchy and tight from crying. His glasses were crooked, but he made no attempt to fix them.

 

He heard the door open behind him, and he turned in his seat, making eye contact with both of his mothers. He quickly turned away, his head dropping as he played with the hem of his sweater. His moms sit by him, and Michael flinches when his Mama put an arm around his shoulders.

 

His principal, Mister Roswell, sits behind his desk, and steepled his fingers together like a spider doing push ups on a mirror. Michael remembers reading that in a book once.  

 

“Missus Mell and Mell, you may be wondering what Michael did to warrant you being called to the office today.” The principal turns to Michael. “Would you like to explain, Michael?”

 

Michael feels his face blush red in embarrassment. His hands stop fidgeting in his lap, and form fists.

 

“I hit a kid in gym today.” Michael mumbles quietly.

 

“Hmm?” His Nanay asks, and Michael blushes harder.

 

“I hit a kid in gym today,” he says louder, and his mothers both hiss through their teeth. Michael looks up, panicked, at the principal. “I didn’t mean to! I- I was mad and I wasn’t breathin’ right and-”

 

“Hey, Mikey, slow down and breathe.” His Mama reminds him, and Michael stops talking to just take in a few deep breaths.

 

“Why did you hit them?” Mister Roswell asks, and Michael looks down at his sweater paws.

 

“He was makin’ fun of Jeremy,” Michael says.

 

“And Jeremy is-?” Mister Roswell made a go-on motion. Michael started to answer, but his Mama shushed him.

 

“Paul Heere’s child.”

 

“Ah. Thank you, Hà.” The principal turns back to Michael. “You also did something else, Michael.”

 

Michael felt his bottom lip wobble.

 

“I yelled at a teacher,” he whispered.

 

“You what?” Jasmine asked, her eyes wide.

 

“Michael, after punching Allen Brunswick, yelled at a teacher that he knew he had to come to my office.” Mister Roswell clarified. Há sighed and rubbed her eyes.

 

“I didn’t mean to!” Michael begged, his eyes watering and his glasses going foggy. “I was-” Jasmine put an hand overtop of his hand, efficiently making him be quiet.

 

“What do we have to do?” Hà asked. Mister Roswell sighed, and scratched his nose.

 

“Michael will be suspended from school for two days. He will be given his homework, and video lessons from his teacher.”

 

The ten-year-old sniffed softly, rubbing his right eye with a fist.

 

“Wait. Do you even know why he did it?” Jasmine asked suddenly. Mister Roswell looked lost for a moment.

 

“Well-” he sighed, turning back to Michael. “Why did you hit Allen and yell at your teacher, Michael?”

 

“‘Cause Allen was bein’ mean to Jeremy and calling him ‘Joanna,’ and Jeremy doesn’t like that, and the teacher told me I was bein’ rude and that _Elliot_ didn’t do anything wrong-” Michael scrunched his nose in anger, a trait he picked up from Jasmine, “And she told me to go to your office, and she kept on telling me to do it even when I was askin’ Jeremy if he was okay-”

 

“And so you yelled at her.” Mister Roswell finished. Michael nodded.

 

“Yeah.”

 

The principal laughed through his nose, shaking his head.

 

The three adults talked for a little, Michael fuzzing out until he heard-

 

“Now, I understand that Michael has learning disabilities, perhaps his situation at home-”

 

“What does my child’s dyslexia and having two mothers have anything to do with him being violent at school?” Hà asked sharply. Michael felt a sharp stab of guilt hit his stomach.

 

“That isn’t what I meant-”

 

“Then what did you mean?” Hà’s New Yorkian accent was getting stronger, which meant she was getting angrier.

 

They argued for a while, Jasmine picking Michael up despite him being ten years old and bringing him to the car. He leaned his head against her shoulder, ignoring the pain of his glasses where the arm of them pressed into his skin.

 

His Nanay put him in the car and sat in the driver's seat, silence blanketing the car until she started to talk.

 

“Michael, honey, what did Allen look like?”

 

Confused at the question, Michael replied,

 

“Allen has blonde hair and blue eyes.”

 

“And your teacher?”

 

“Mrs. Adams has brown hair and blue eyes. Why?”

 

“Just wanted to know.”

 

Later, Hà entered the car, breathing angrily. Michael decided to clear it up.

 

“I’m sorry.” He said. Hà took in a deep breath.

 

“Love, I’m not mad at you. I’m just mad at your principal.”

 

“But I hit Allen!”

 

“You were standing up for Jeremy, yes?”

 

Michael shrugged and nodded.

 

“And that is a very good thing to do. Just, next time, stand up for Jeremy without getting physical, alright, sweetie? Violence is never the answer.” Jasmine lectured gently. Michael pulled his hoodie up and hid his face.

 

“Okay. What’s dyslexia? Why do I have it?” Michael asked next. Dyslexia sounded scary. Jasmine pulled onto the highway.

 

“You know when you get headaches when you read for too long, or when the words don’t make sense the first time?”

 

Michael nodded.

 

“That’s dyslexia. A lot of kids have it, so don’t think you’re the Chosen One and all that,” Hà teased him. Michael scowled.

 

“But why me?”

 

Jasmine and Hà sighed in sync.

 

“We don’t know, hon. But, remember, everyone has something not perfect about them, right? Your Mama has depression, I have OCD, Jeremy’s mom, Wynonna, had-”

 

“Wynonna has asthma,” Hà added in, and Jasmine nodded.

 

“Right. And I think Jeremy has anxiety. See, Mikey?”

 

Michael nodded.

 

“Yeah.”


	85. Chapter 85

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T u m m y k i s s e s  
> Based off that one pic by sinisterspooks. You know the one, ‘bird boy smothered by lion boyfriend’ one
> 
> It’s cute

Jeremy giggled as Michael flopped down between his legs, folding his arms over Jeremy’s stomach and resting his head on them.

 

“Whatcha doing there?” Jeremy asked, and Michael groaned dramatically, hiding his face in his arms.

 

“I’m tired.”

 

“Playing video games all night _does_ do that to you,” Jeremy remarked, and Michael moved to headbutt him in the stomach.

 

“Leave me alone!”

 

Jeremy then noticed that Michael didn’t have his glasses on. His arm moved to support his head so he could look down at his boyfriend a bit easier.

 

“Where are your glasses?”

 

Michael made a hum that sounded like ‘I don’t know.’

 

“Why?” Jeremy asked next, and Michael headbutted him again.

 

“I’m blind as shit, Heere. If I can’t find my glasses, I may as well give up.” Michael said, lifting his head up and resting it on his arms, looking up at Jeremy. “I’m hot.”

 

“No need to tell me, I already know.” Jeremy teased, Michael snorting and rolling his eyes.

 

“Haha. Can I take my shirt off?”

 

Jeremy flushed red.

 

“The heat is getting to your head, you must have heatstroke.” Jeremy said, shoving Michael off of him, the other now dramatically panting. “For your health, do what you gotta do!”

 

Michael snickered and stripped off his shirt, throwing it somewhere in the depths of Jeremy’s closet before lying back down on Jeremy, looking up at him and smiling.

 

“Hi.”

 

“Hi.” Jeremy let his hand drift to Michael’s hair, softly entangling his fingers in it and scratching his scalp. Michael closed his eyes and purred. “You can purr?”

 

“What?” Michael opened his eyes and cocked an eyebrow.

 

“You. Purring.”

 

“I can’t purr.” Michael said quickly. Jeremy snorted.

 

“Yes you can.”

 

Michael squinted at him.

 

“No, I can’t.”

 

Jeremy just raised an eyebrow.

 

“Really? Because you just did.”

 

Michael just hid his face again. “Lies. Lies and slander.” Jeremy noticed that he was blushing.

 

“You’re blushing,” He said matter-a-factly. Michael growled under his breath.

 

“I’m divorcing you,” he muttered against Jeremy’s shirt, Jeremy gasping.

 

“Babe, what about the children?” Jeremy said in mock distress.

 

“Our children are as old as us, they can all handle it.” Michael mumbled, nosing at Jeremy’s shirt. “Is this my-?” Jeremy nodded.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“How did you get my sweater?”

 

“You gave me this one, remember? This has different patches.”

 

Michael lifted himself up and over Jeremy, looking closely at the patches on the arm of the sweater. Instead of the BLM Pride flag, there was the bisexual and trans flags.

 

“Oh. Nevermind.” Michael went back down to Jeremy’s stomach, accidently pressing his chin into Jeremy’s tummy. Jeremy winces.

 

“Ow-”

 

“Are you okay?” Michael immediately asks, and Jeremy shrugs.

 

“It’s fine, just-” he makes a vague gesture. “Satan’s waterfall is just making its rounds.”

 

Michael snorts.

 

“That is the dorkiest thing I think I’ve ever heard you say.”

 

Jeremy laughs.

 

“Oh, I’ve said dorkier things, believe me,” Jeremy says, then stops when Michael pulls up his shirt to reveal his belly. “Uh, Michael, what are you doing?”

 

“Can I kiss you?” Michael asks, and Jeremy coughs.

 

“Why?”

 

Michael just shrugs.

 

“Comfort, I guess-? This is stupid, sorry.” Michael started to pull Jeremy’s shirt back down, but Jeremy batted his hands away.

 

“No, no, it’s fine! I was just… confused, I guess, I dunno.” Jeremy stutters and clears his throat. “Go ahead, I guess?”

 

Michael is blushing, but he starts sprinkling kisses on Jeremy’s tummy, the younger letting out short giggles when Michael’s lips touch a sensitive spot over his ribs or hips.

 

Michael then blew a raspberry on Jeremy’s tummy, Jeremy letting out a squeal of laughter.

 

“That tickles- stop!” He giggled, squirming under Michael. Michael stopped and laughed with him, leaning up and leaving little kisses on Jeremy’s neck and jawline.

 

“Do you actually want me to stop?” Michael asked, and Jeremy shook his head no.

 

“It just tickled.” Jeremy pouted.

 

“I can’t believe I’m dating a five-year-old,” Michael sighed sarcastically, laying on top of Jeremy and putting his head in the crook between his neck and shoulder.

 

“I can’t believe I’m dating a two-year-old,” Jeremy replied. Michael groaned.

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Never!”


	86. Jake Protection Squad/EVERYONE FUCKED UP (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EVERYONE FUCKED UP 
> 
> Except Jake and Rich, surprisingly
> 
> Warnings: There is some talk of conversion camps, and when Jeremy got jumped all the way back in the beginning of this story. There's a lot of transphobia too, mostly towards Jake. You have been warned!

_ {Supernaturhoes at 1:36 PM} _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: i have to write a short essay for my journalism class and _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: ‘The immigration rates in this country are higher than any others. The reasons for this are simple; we have many jobs that do not require you to speak English, and they pay enough so you can build up your money until you can get a better house. Also, America has very cheap houses, and the real estate business is very strong. However, when people immigrate here illegally, it doesn’t raise a problem in the job industry, but many Americans do not like people ‘stealing their jobs,’ despite them using those jobs to their advantage. (Think Laundromats, restaurants, employees in hotels…)’ _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: ‘Therefore, the people who immigrated here to get a better life are thrown back to where they have to start all over, even if they immigrated here as children. What this article was about is DACA, where people try to figure out how to give immigrants a fair life if they immigrated here as children. What this article is asking is, should people who immigrated here as children be sent back to where they originally came from?’ _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: ‘I encourage you to put yourself in these people’s shoes. Imagine this; you are five years old. You are homeless, and your mother and father want a better life, out of, say, Italy. So, you escape your home country, and come to America, where you can lead a better life. You grow up to become twenty-five years old. You commit a crime where you harmed another human. Would you want to move back to your home country of Italy, where you can (perhaps) speak only a little bit of Italian, and (in worse case scenario) be back on the streets?’ _

 

_ Gay: oh the tea is lovely today _

 

_ Bisexuality: they sound all smart and high and mighty but the entire time they were writing this they were listening to green day and the script  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: rich weighs in his opinion _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: jokes on you rich green day is my fuckin jam _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: same _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: :) _

 

_ AroAce: let it be known on this day that green day is trans culture _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: FUCK YEAH _

 

_ Pansexuality: YO JAKE YOU CAN PLAY VIOLIN?? _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: NO WHO TOLD YOU _

 

_ Pansexuality: RICH SENT ME A VIDEO _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: brooke  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: love of my life _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: :( _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: and chloe _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: :) _

 

_ Gay: just give us the goddamn video brooke _

 

_ Pansexuality: no need to be rude about it michael _

 

_ Pansexuality:  _ **_[Sent a video: JakeyD.mp4]_ **

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: NOOOOO _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi has left the chat _

 

_ AroAce has added Non Bi Bi Bi to the chat _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: WHY  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: youre really good jake! _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: yeah!! _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: thanks BUT STILL _

 

_ Bisexuality: WTF I JUST WALKED PAST JEREMY AND MICHAEL AND JERE IS LIKE ‘hey man how do you spell constipated’ AND MICHAEL IS LIKE ‘hey man why the fuck are you asking me’ AND NOW IM CACKLING OBNOXIOUSLY HELP _

 

_ Gay: :) _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: IT WAS FOR MY ESSAY SHUT YOUR FUCK  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: ‘shut your fuck’ _

_ Gay: you shut your fuck chloe _

 

_ Pansexuality: oooOOOHHHHHHHHHHH  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: >:( _

 

_ AroAce: ok im really tired but the fact that male horsefish are the ones that have the babies is hilarious to me  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: what the hell is a horsefish _

 

_ AroAce: horsefish!! _

 

_ AroAce: the ones with the long snouts!! _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: ...seahorses? _

 

_ AroAce: OOOHHHHHH THNKS JAKE  _

 

_ Bisexuality has changed their name to Horsefish _

 

_ Horsefish: lov you christine _

 

_ Pansexuality: now i cant help but see rich as a seahorse i  j u s t _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: I BARKED OUT LIKE,,,, THE U G L I E S T LAUGH HOLY SHIT  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: searich _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: SEARICH I CANT BREAYTHE _

 

_ Horsefish: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH _

 

_ AroAce has changed their name to Searich _

 

_ Searich: now we can bask in each others humiliation rich :3c _

 

_ Horsefish: you get that pawpaw away from your face right now young lady _

 

_ Gay: pAWPAW IM  _

 

_ Horsefish: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO MY PHONE  _

 

_ Searich: PAWPAW IS ADORABLE _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: ‘pawpaw is the papaya plants other name, or the ‘hipster banana’ gotta love google _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: H I P S T E R  B A N A N A S  _

 

_ Gay: im a hipster banana _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: hon we know _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: pardon _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: this is new information to my cute lil brain _

 

_ Gay: get with the facts jake im a hipster banana _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: thanks for telling me michael _

 

_ Gay: //fingerguns//  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: jake wtf are both of your eyes blue _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: let me tell you about the wonderful world of contacts chlo _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: I KNOW WHAT CONTACTS ARE  _

 

_ Pansexuality: but why are you wearing contacts? _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: eh _

 

_ {3:59 PM} _

 

_ Horsefish: oh i am PISSED TO A HIGH DEGREE _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: why? bc jake is wearing contacts? _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: hey :( _

 

_ Horsefish: yeah that BUT ALSO THIS CHICK COMES UP TO ME AND IS LIKE ‘who’s that??’ pointing at jake and jake just smiles and goes ‘im his datemate’ like the ball of sunshine they are and the girl just gives them the most goddamn condescending smile ive ever seen and is like ‘mmhmm, sure’  _

 

_ Horsefish: and then she just takes out a slip of paper out of her pocket and gives it to me and another one to jake and says ‘you both can get help’ and walks away so we’re both like ‘oh cool free therapy for our mental health issues’ but nOPE  _

 

_ Horsefish: SHE GAVE US FUCKIN CARDS TO GO TO THOSE CONVERSION CAMPS IM SO FUCKING TICKED OFF I WANT TO PUNCH SOMETHING  _

 

_ Gay: is that why jake just ran back into their dorm with their face in their hands? _

 

_ Horsefish: they WHAT  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: WHO IS THIS GIRL _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE  _

 

_ Pansexuality: DOES SHE HAVE ANY DEFINING MARKINGS  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: NO ONE HURTS JAKE WITHOUT GETTING HURT RIGHT BACK  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: YEAH  _

 

_ Pansexuality: YEAH _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: rich, did she have reeeeaaaallllyyyy green eyes? And really light brown hair? _

 

_ Horsefish: i couldnt really see her eyes, but she had really light brown hair and a beauty mark on her cheek _

 

_ Horsefish: kinda like michaels mole but more under her eye other than on her lip  _

 

_ Gay: why am i being compared to the transphobic bitch here?? _

 

_ Horsefish: sorry _

 

_ Horsefish: im gonna go check and see if jake is ok _

 

_ Horsefish has gone offline _

 

_ Searich: why do you want to know, jeremy? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: just _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: michael, remember the week before i got top surgery i was attacked or something by these three people at our school _

 

_ Gay: ugh _

 

_ Gay: yeah _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: i think its the same girl _

 

_ Gay: no _

 

_ Gay: no _

 

_ Gay: FUCK no _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: you were jumped, jeremy?? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: dont worry, they only saw my binder, nothing else _

 

_ Searich: they shouldve seen nothing! Why did they do that? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: it was just really creepy ‘god makes everyone perfect’ bullshit _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: oh gross _

 

_ Pansexuality: and you think its the same girl? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: yeah, i saw her at grad night and prom _

 

_ Gay: why didnt you say anything? _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: im not scared of her, just wary _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: but her name is monika dunbroic  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: any social media? Twitter, instagram, stuff like that? _

 

_ Gay: she tried to follow me on instagram, ill show you in our next break _

 

_ Pansexuality: monika dunbroic, insta, got it. _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian has changed the chat name to Jake Protection Squad  _

 

_ Pansexuality has blocked Non Bi Bi Bi from the chat _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: no one hurts jake, or anyone of the squad for that matter, without getting hurt back _

 

_ Horsefish is now online _

 

_ Horsefish: jake is doing ok _

 

_ Horsefish: and holy FUCK YOU GUYS ARENT ACTUALLY MEANING TO DO THAT RIGHT???? _

 

_ Gay: why not? _

 

_ Horsefish: um?? you could ruin her life?? _

 

_ Searich: she JUMPED jeremy, rich. She destroyed jake’s self confidence, right? _

 

_ Horsefish: yeah? _

 

_ Searich: dont you want to get revenge? _

 

_ Horsefish: yall are making a big mistake _

 

_ Gay: she went under the radar with all of her transphobia and homophobia and im sick of it _

 

_ Gay: she could hurt more people if we dont stop her, rich! _

 

_ Horsefish: … _

 

_ Horsefish: but it isnt moral… _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: all's fair in war, rich. _

 

_ Horsefish: … _

 

_ Horsefish: fine. _

 

_ Horsefish: but i dont want to be involved.  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: you wont be if you dont want too. _

_ Horsefish: okay… _

 

_ Horsefish: but i have a bad feeling about this. _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: itll be okay, rich. We’re just gonna give this girl a taste of her own medicine. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVERYONE FUCKED UP
> 
> And before you laugh about Jenna, Chloe, and Brooke plotting against Monika, think back to The Smartphone Hour (Rich Set A Fire.) Those girls could RUIN someone's life, and they know it. And they are fully willing to do it. Just some food for thought.
> 
> On a lighter note this is 8 pages long, probably the longest chapter in this story :D
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	87. Jake Protection Squad/EVERYONE FUCKED UP (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: there is talk of transphobia, suicide, and self harm. Rich also has a panic attack. You don't have to read it if you don't want too!!

_ Horsefish to ‘If Rich Stands On Evan’s Shoulders They Can Create The Ultimate Tall Man’ _

 

_ Horsefish: ev _

 

_ Horsefish: evan _

 

_ Horsefish: evan joshua hansen _

 

_ Horsefish: EVAN  _

 

_ Acorn: what?? _

 

_ Horsefish: i need help _

 

_ Acorn: is it your anxiety? Your depression? Did you have a panic attack today? _

 

_ Horsefish: no but this is making me anxious and i think im about to panic _

 

_ Acorn: ?? _

 

_ Horsefish: so jake was hanging out with me and then this bitch comes up to us and gives jake a note basically telling them to kill themselves because they ‘arent normal’ and now  _

 

_ Acorn: jesus christ _

 

_ Horsefish: and now everyone else is planning to destroy this girls life and _

 

_ Horsefish: i know she deserves it _

 

_ Horsefish: I know that shes an awful person but _

 

_ Horsefish: ive been on that side, Evan! I was in her place! _

 

_ Acorn: but you’re not lgbt-phobic, rich. _

 

_ Horsefish: I know, thats not what I meant. I meant to say… _

 

_ Horsefish: do you remember that twitter hashtag that went around for a while? _

 

_ Horsefish: #smartphonehour? _

 

_ Acorn: I don’t have a twitter, Rich. _

 

_ Horsefish: oh _

 

_ Acorn: but jared does, hang on a sec. _

 

_ Acorn: sweet baby jesus _

 

_ Horsefish: yeah _

 

_ Acorn: these people are your FRIENDS????? _

 

_ Horsefish: they apologized, its all good _

 

_ Acorn: no, its not ‘all good’ rich! All of these tweets are horrible! _

 

_ Horsefish: THATS MY POINT _

 

_ Horsefish: its scary being on that side and no one deserves to be on that side no one no one no one no one _

 

_ Horsefish: and i know shes a terrible person but no one deserves to go through that no one deserves to be called those names its scary its scary it hurts _

 

_ Horsefish: it hurts so much to see people call you that and say youre their best friend even if youve only spoke to them once _

 

_ Acorn: Hey, Rich, calm down and take some deep breaths, okay? _

 

_ Horsefish: my burns hurt they hurt why do they hurt they hurt so much why why wh y _

 

_ Acorn: Rich, can you count to ten? Do it s l o w l y, don’t rush, just count. _

 

_ Acorn: and when you reach ten, just start again, okay? S l o w l y count. _

 

_ Acorn: where are you? _

 

_ Horsefish: my dorm in the bathroom _

 

_ Horsefish: my scars hurt so FUCKING MUCH  _

 

_ Acorn: ill be there soon, rich, just keep breathing _

_ \--- _

_ Acorn to Momma.Hansen _

 

_ Acorn: im leaving  _

 

_ Acorn: rich is having a panic attack _

 

_ Momma.Hansen: Oh no! _

 

_ Acorn: can i take the car _

 

_ Momma.Hansen: I have the car, Evan. _

 

_ Acorn: shoot  _

 

_ Acorn: wait jared says xey can drive me in xyr car _

 

_ Momma.Hansen: Give Rich a hug for me! I’ll be over when my shift is over, just bring him home, okay? _

 

_ Acorn: ok thanks mom _

_ \--- _

The air in the car was tense as Evan and Jared drove to the college. Evan was texting Rich, coaching him through his breathing and nervously tapping his fingertips on his knee. Jared was, admittedly, speeding, but xey were worried, damn it.

 

The car drove past a police car, Evan squeaking in horror when he realized what they did.

 

“J-Jared!” 

 

“What?” 

 

“You just s-sped past a police car!” Evan whined. Jared just rolled xyr eyes.

 

“We’re not getting chased, are we?” 

 

Evan turned in his seat, scanning the road behind them.

 

“No, but-”

 

“But nothin’. Now go comfort my future brother-in-law.” 

 

“What?” Evan turned his head towards Jared at a near inhuman speed. Jared just grinned, keeping xyr eyes on the road.

 

“What?” 

 

“Y-you just-”

 

“Don’t distract the driver!”

_ \--- _

Evan nearly ran into a bunch of freshmen before getting into the school. Jared jogged behind, scanning the campus around xem, trying to find Jake or another person who was close to Rich. 

 

Evan ignored the elevator, deducing that it would take too long and there where, you know, social interactions that go with elevators, and Evan didn’t have time to deal with any of that. Jared took the elevator.

 

Once Evan got to the door, he jiggled the knob, then dug into his pocket to take out a bobby pin, which he used to jimmy the door open.

 

“Rich?” He called, walking in and nearly shutting the door. Jared slid in behind him.

 

“There’s the bathroom,” xey said, pointing to the adjacent door. Evan nearly tripped in his attempt to run over there.

 

“Rich?” He said again, knocking on the door. “Can I come in?” 

 

There was a weak sound from the other side, Evan taking it as a ‘yes.’ He opened the door, Jared sitting on the bed and pulling out xyr phone. 

 

Their priorities were very different, you see.

 

Evan saw Rich sitting in the bathtub, his shirt off and his hands clenched tight on the burns on his biceps, hunched forward so that his forehead was touching his knees, and rocking back and forth, sobs escaping him every so often.

 

Evan closed the door and knelt by the tub, whispering,

 

“Hey, Rich, it’s okay. Can you please stop hurting yourself?” First priority: if the person is harming themselves, calmly try to make them stop. Key word: calm.

 

Rich whined, his hands only squeezing tighter on the burns.

 

“Everyone  _ hates  _ me, I’m s-so  _ fucking  _ useless, I-” his shoulders shook more, “I’m a goddamn  _ useless  _ little shit-” 

 

“Hey, hey, shh.” Evan said, still trying to get Rich to look at him. “No one hates you, Rich.”

 

“Name  _ one  _ person who doesn’t hate me,” Rich snapped bitterly. 

 

“I don’t hate you. Mom doesn’t hate you. Jared doesn’t hate you, and,” Evan saw Rich start to relax his grip, “Jake doesn’t hate you.” 

 

Rich made a strangled sound.

 

“Yes they do, Evan! I-I burned down their house, I broke both of their legs-”

 

“What? No, you didn’t,” Evan interjected, immediately regretting it when Rich pressed his forehead even more into his knees. 

 

“Yes I did! They risked their  _ goddamn  _ life for me, going back into the fire, finding me in their room with a box of matches by me-” Rich choked on a sob, then continued to Evan’s growing horror, “And they picked me up despite being burned all over the place and ran outside while breathing in toxic air and then, right when they got outside, the doorframe of the fro-front  _ collapsed on them  _ and- and broke both of their legs!” 

 

“It’s because they love you, Rich!” Evan almost laughed, “If they didn’t love you-”

 

“Then I would be  _ dead!”  _ Rich cried out, his hands tightening on his burns again. “I would be dead and they would be  _ safe,  _ and that’s what was supposed to happen! I didn’t want to live anymore, Evan! I wanted to fucking  _ die,  _ and I almost got what I wanted!” Rich was shaking, the force of his grip on his arms making the skin around them white. 

 

Evan felt faint. Even  _ he  _ didn’t know what to do with this. Rich’s hands were trembling, and then let go of his arms. Evan felt his jaw drop.

 

“They’re planning to ruin her life, Evan.” Rich says blankly. “And- and she deserves it, I know, but- something doesn’t feel  _ right.”  _

 

“Well-” Evan starts, but Rich waves him off.

 

“Jake doesn’t know. They don’t know what our friends are going to do, and  _ God,  _ that is a terrifying thing to keep as a secret.” 

 

“Why don’t you tell them?” Evan asks gently. Rich huffs out a shaky laugh, closing his eyes and leaning his head back until it landed against the wall.

 

“Jenna said not too. They ‘don’t need to know,’ apparently.” 

 

Evan sighs, biting his lip.

 

“Why don’t you tell the school? They could expel her.”

 

Rich huffs out another laugh, a sad smile curling his lips up.

 

“They won’t understand.” Rich says flatly.

 

“Maybe. Can you stand?”

 

“I might throw up if I do.” Rich whimpers, hugging his stomach. “I get queasy after panic attacks.” 

 

Evan nods, adjusting to get more comfortable on the tile.

 

Ten minutes pass, then Rich starts to stand shakily, using the showerhead as support. Evan also stands, and helps him out of the tub, guiding him to his bed, Jared jumping up and moving away so Rich could sit.

 

Once Rich sat, Evan wrapped his arms around him.

 

“For the record, I-I’m happy you’re alive.” Evan says in Rich’s ear, Rich laughs quietly, hugging Evan back.

 

“I’m happy you’re alive, Evan.” 

 

“What a bunch of saps.” Jared scoffs. Evan rolls his eyes, and opens his arms for Jared.

 

“You’re just as bad as us, get in here.” 

 

Jared complies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //plucking my violin in the distant background// RICHARD IN THE BATHROOM ALL BY HIMSELF


	88. Jake Protection Squad/EVERYONE FUCKED UP (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY JENNA I LOVE YOU

Jenna is impulsive. She knows it, everyone knows it. What seems like a good idea now is a terrible idea later, or a sentence spoken without thinking it through ends relationships.

 

So, when she looks back on the texts about Monika, she has mixed feelings. Monika deserves to burn in  _ Hell,  _ but when Chloe starts planning a ‘harmless’ prank, Jenna feels like it went too far. 

 

The quote ‘no one hurts Jake without getting hurt back’ haunts her. Brooke says it over and over, due to her echolalia, and Chloe writes it on her paper in huge letters and sticks it on her wall. Jenna feels sick looking at it.

 

She wants Monika to get what she deserves. Monika is a transphobic little bitch who deserves no mercy, but Rich’s texts always linger in the back of her mind.

 

_ This isn’t moral… _

 

When she sees Rich walk out of his dorm with his brother, Evan, and his datemate, Jared, she almost runs up to him. She doesn’t know why. Apologize, maybe? Make a better plan that is not fueled on rage? She doesn’t know.

 

But then she sees that his eyes are puffy and red, he is shuffling instead of his cocky walk, and she sees handprints on his burns. 

 

Oh God, his  _ burns.  _ They are irritated and puffy, and it’s visibly painful for Rich to move his arms. Jenna just stares until the small congregation vanishes. She watches the spot where they disappeared, her mind whirling.

 

Her phone buzzes, bringing her out of her haze.

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi to Fuck Your Gender Assumptions  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: whered rich go? _

 

Dear God.

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: i think he went home _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: and he didnt call me?  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: he looked pretty freaked out _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: oh _

 

Yeah, ‘oh’ is right. 

 

Jake doesn’t know, she remembers. She had tracked Rich down  _ (just this morning, in fact)  _ and told him not to tell Jake the plan. Looking uncomfortable, Rich had agreed.

 

Jenna feels sick. 

\---

Suddenly, as Jenna is uneasily planning the plan with her girlfriends, she realizes what this situation reminds her of.

 

In  _ Heathers,  _ JD believes he’s doing the right thing. Isn’t he, though? 

 

_ The only place Heathers and Marthas can get along is in heaven! _

 

“The only place people like Monika and people like us can get along is in heaven,” she mutters, Brooke tilting her head questioningly.

 

“What does that mean?” She asks, but then is distracted by her stim toy falling out of her hands. 

 

Jenna just looks at her hands, then picks up her phone. She goes onto Twitter.

 

_ #smartphonehour _

 

Is what she types in, slowly reading each tweet, recognizing each and every account.

 

_ @BlancMad: Rich set a fire because he knew he was gay! #smartphonehour  _

 

_     @Dustcrop: nah, he died, I heard! #smartphonehour _

 

_ @Brookielohst: Rich is flecked, everyone! #smartphonehour _

 

_      @MikeyMell: ...flecked? #smartphonehour  _

__

_        @Brookielohst: oh, I meant fucked. Be aware of autocorrect, am I right? #smartphonehour _

 

_           @Chlo <3: preach!  _

 

Jenna feels queasy, and puts down her phone.

 

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” She says quickly, her heart thudding. Chloe and Brooke both look at her, Chloe cocking an eyebrow and Brooke gnawing softly on her stim necklace. 

 

“Why not?” Chloe asks, and Jenna shrugs.

 

“Just- remember when Rich-”

 

“Monika isn’t Rich, Jenna.” Brooke adds quickly, then puts a hand over her mouth when Chloe looks at her. “Sorry.” 

 

“Just- we’re spreading rumours, and not all of them would be true. Like, Rich didn’t  _ die  _ in the fire, and he didn’t flee the country either! Just-” Jenna takes a deep breath. “The only time Heathers and Martha's can get along is in heaven… right?”

 

“But what does that have to do with us?” Chloe asks, her upper lip curling. “She’s an awful person, Jenna! What if she targeted you next?”

 

Jenna sighs through her nose.

 

“We’re just gonna give her more ammunition if we do this, Chlo!” 

 

Chloe grabs her wrist, pressing her thumb into Jenna’s pulse point.

 

“If you don’t want to do this, nothing is holding you back, Jen. I fully understand if you don’t want to do it, but-” Chloe smooths back the strands that fell into Jenna’s face, “but I don’t want anyone else getting hurt. If she attacked you…” Chloe laughs dryly, “I wouldn’t be able to restrain myself.” 

 

Jenna feels chills run up her back. Brooke crawls towards them, putting her head on Jenna’s knee.

 

“I wouldn’t, either.” 

 

More chills. 

 

Jenna stands after gently pushing Brooke’s head off of her knee, grabbing her phone and going to the door.

 

“I’m gonna go lay down.”

 

“Night!” Brooke chirps, popping her stim toy back in her mouth and Chloe going back to writing in her notebook. 

 

Jenna closes the door, and goes to her room, her knees feeling weak. She goes back to the Twitter feed, reading through all of the tweets, to the one that started it all.

 

_ @Chlo<3: Hey everybody, have you heard? Rich set a fire! #smartphonehour _

 

_   @Jennilander: He burned Jake’s house down TO THE GROUND! #smartphonehour _

 

_     @Brookielohst: go spread the word! #smartphonehour _

 

Jenna puts her phone under her pillow, shoving her face into the down fluff. 

 

She  _ regretted _ doing that to Rich. Can’t he tell?

 

_ Can’t you see how much I love your tragedy, Rich?  _

 

“Oh, fuck off,” she hisses at the voice. Rich was her friend now.

 

_ He told me because I’m his best friend! _

 

Fuck. Jenna hated it when her brain did that. She rolls over, her hand covering her eyes.

 

Did she ever truly apologize to Rich? The truth hits her hard.

 

No, she realizes, she didn’t. And now, thanks to her impulsive decision to spill the beans to Chloe, Rich had an entire hastag on Twitter mocking him, teasing him, and dehumanizing him.

 

Jenna whines, her eyes filling with tears. She sniffs, blinking the tears away. 

 

_ Rich set a fire… Now go spread the word!... Did you hear?... Rich burned down the house! _

 

_ No one hurts Jake without getting hurt back… Don’t tell Jake, okay? They don’t need to know… _

 

Jenna sobs, her lip quivering.

 

What did she start?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're not getting out of this easily
> 
> Also, I put a piece of my own self in every character! Ask in the comments what, and I'll tell you!


	89. Jake Protection Squad/EVERYONE FUCKED UP (Part 4)

 

Jake is stressed.

They had three homework assignments, which doesn’t sound so bad until you realize that they had forgotten to do the third one until they woke up at two in the goddamn morning with the feeling of guilt pooling in their stomach.

They got up, put in their earbuds, started _blaring_ Green Day and Fall Out Boy so loudly they got a pounding headache, and tried to wake up without the help of caffeine, which, to be honest, never helped them in the first place. It always made them feel depressed.

They tried to force themselves in a trance they could go into, but kept getting distracted at every little thing. It was enough to make them want to scream.

At one point, about ⅔ ‘s done with the assignment, they got up, took a pop bottle out of the fridge, and took a swig. Coughing a little, they could hear… _something_ in the back of their mind scoff. They rolled their eyes, putting the bottle back.

“Eat my ass, Spirits,” Jake said to no one, giggling a little afterwards.

\---

The day only got worse. Sure, the ‘eat my ass’ comment was funny, but it was the only time Jake really laughed. One, after their wake-up-at-ass-o’clock decision, their legs decided, _oh, hey, let’s ache so badly that Jake almost cries when they try to stand again._ Therefore, they had to haul themselves into their wheelchair, and get themselves some drugs to distract themselves from the pain. (Drugs, yippee.)

Also, their teacher had decided to go on a rant about genders in their _art class,_ something about how men and women- Jake doesn’t remember, they had fell asleep. When they wake up, everyone else is gone, and the teacher tells them that they were getting an F if they fall asleep again.

So, at the end of the day, they’re close to tears and tired. They go to their dorm to text their boyfriend, since, for some reason, they were blocked in the group chat.

_Non Bi Bi Bi: Riiiiiiiiiiiiich_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: hello?_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: all around me are familiar faces_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: worn out places_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: worn out faces_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: im wearing my glasses_

_Non Bi Bi Bi:_ **_[Has sent an image: Nerd.jpg]_ **

_Non Bi Bi Bi: oh come on you love it when i put my glasses on_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: nyello??_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: nya_

_Non Bi Bi Bi:_ **_[has sent a video: UwU.mp4]_ **

_Non Bi Bi Bi: okay you didnt reply to the kitty paws_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: sorry for irritating you rich_

_\---_

_Non Bi Bi Bi to Fuck Your Gender Assumptions_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: whered rich go?_

_MtFTrans &Bi: i think he went home _

_Non Bi Bi Bi: and he didnt call me?_

_MtFTrans &Bi: he looked pretty freaked out _

_Non Bi Bi Bi: oh_

Fuck. They were stressed nearly to the point of tears, Jenna was acting distant, they were blocked from the group chat-

Jake feels their eyes start to burn. They hiss, pressing their palms into their eyes. Their phone buzzes again.

_Horsefish: hey nerd_

_Horsefish: im at my house, if you want to hang out??_

Jake feels themselves start to smile. They shoot something back.

_Non Bi Bi Bi: ill be there soon_

_\---_

“What the _fuck_.” Jake yells suddenly. Rich snorts and throws a kernel of popcorn at them, it getting stuck in their hair.

“C’mon Jake, you _knew_ that Nina-”

“She fuckin’ killed Veronica!” Jake cuts in, flailing their arms at the movie. Rich fully laughs this time, his hand subconsciously raising to cover his mouth.

“J, that’s _Beth,_ not-”

“Whomever the fuck, it was my queen Winona Ryder and Natalie Portman stabbed an emery board in her _face!”_

Rich is loudly laughing, snorts escaping him every so often. Jake is also smiling, then looks back at the screen and gags a little.

“For my health and yours, can we watch-”

“ _No,_ Jake, we are not watching _The Outsiders_ again.”

Jake pouts.

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve memorized all of Soda’s lines, and I’m working on Ponyboy’s!” Rich says loudly, single-handedly fighting Jake off from the remote. “We can watch Mulan or something, Jesus.”

Jake smiles.

“Yay!” They cheer, watching Rich turn on the movie. A few minutes pass, then Rich’s phone buzzes, and he goes pale.

“Why are you telling-?” He mumbles, then goes quiet as he types a short response. Jake feels a bit concerned, but then is distracted by _Reflection_ playing.

A few more minutes of silence, then Rich’s phone buzzes again, Rich squinting at the screen and scoffing.

“Why the fuck-” he presumably leaves the text unread, and only shuts off his phone.

It’s quiet for another few minutes, then Rich says,

“I need to tell you something,” and pauses the movie. Jake, feeling a bit ticked that the announcement couldn’t be made _after_ the movie, but listens in anyways.

“Jake, you know that girl who gave us those slips of paper?”

“I was making it a repressed memory,” Jake admits, and Rich smiles.

“Yeah, same. Anyways, the others found out her name, and…” Rich takes in a deep breath, “They are going to… jump her like she did Jeremy,” he says, and Jake is in shock.

Holy _fuck._ Shut the front door.

“Why?” They sputter out, and Rich cringes.

“I- I guess it’s to give her a taste of her own medicine?”

“Shit.”

“No one wanted you to know.” Rich admits, rubbing the neck of his neck with his hand. Jake snorts under their breath, sighing afterwards.

“Why didn’t anyone report her?”

“Evan, Jared, and I all did. I told them the story, and even showed them the texts.” Rich laughs a little. “But they’re ‘thinking about it,’”

Jake scoffs.

“Course they are.” It’s quiet for another few minutes, and Rich gently hugs them.

“Sorry for not telling you.” He mumbles, and Jake hugs him back, leaving a small kiss on his forehead.

“It’s okay. It’s scary to keep secrets, right?”

A nod and a hum.

“We are fixing this. Violence isn’t the answer.” Jake mostly says the last statement to themselves, but Rich smiles deviously.

“Okay, Mister Rogers.”

“Mister Rogers was an icon, leave him and me alone!”

 **  
** Rich and Jake both laugh. Rich pulls away from the hug and restarts the movie, humming to the music in the background. Jake does the same thing.


	90. Jake Protection Squad/EVERYONE FUCKED UP (FINALE)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This sucks

_Horsefish to Jake Protection Squad_

 

_Horsefish: i told jake_

 

_Gay: wHY_

 

_Horsefish: WELL I JUST HAD A McFUCKIN PANIC ATTACK AND I WAS STRESSED OUT WITH THE FACT I WAS HIDING A SECRET FROM MY DATEMATE_

 

_1-800-Les-Bian: oh_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: rich says that he and evan told the school board _

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: and shes in my computer class, so she got called down to the office _

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: and she came back to class with a shocked expression and got her stuff and left _

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: i havent seen her since _

 

_Searich: N I C E_

 

_Pansexuality: shes gone??_

 

_Gay: yeah, our teacher told us_

 

_Horsefish: :)_

 

_Searich: im gonna add jake_

 

_Searich has added Non Bi Bi Bi to the chat_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: hi_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi is now offline_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: short and sweet _

 

_1-800-Les-Bian: underwhelming_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi is now online_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: i am a sad ghost_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: i hoot_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: and then_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: i scoot_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi has gone offline_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: jake wtf _

 

_Horsefish: wow i cant believe that nico di angelo in the rick riordan books is gay_

 

_Gay: WHAT_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: im sitting on the couch and a red blur just nyooms past me and the car started _

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: you achieved what ive been trying to do for years @rich _

 

_Horsefish: :)) pleasure_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi is now online_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: what ill be giving you tonight ;)_

 

_Pansexuality: spicy_

 

_Gay: aaaaAAAAAAA IM TOO YOUNG FOR THIS_

 

_Horsefish: IM YOUNGER THAN YOU MICHAEL_

 

_Gay: WHAT_

 

_Searich: oh yeah, i need to know everyones bdays! :)_

 

_1-800-Les-Bian: january 1 1999_

 

_Horsefish: showoff_

 

_Horsefish: october 19 1999_

 

_Gay: july 11 1999_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: omg 7/11 _

 

_Pansexuality: i canNOT BELIEV E_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: mine is september 5 1999 _

 

_Pansexuality: march 7 1999_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: august 19 1999 _

 

_Gay: jake? Christine?_

 

_Searich: february 15 1999!_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: what about jake? _

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: you know damn well when my birthday is, woman_

 

_MtFTrans &Bi: do i? _

 

_1-800-Les-Bian: i can tell them_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: NO_

 

_Gay: ??? is it 6/6/06_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: IM NOT 11 YEARS OLD y_

_YOU FUCRE_

 

_Horsefish: its december 31 1999_

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: IM DIVORCING_

 

_FtMTrans &Bi: i cant believe jake is the youngest in the group _

 

_Non Bi Bi Bi: HHHHHHHHH I HATE EVERYTHIN_

 

_Gay: retweet_

_{September 21 2017}_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: BABY CARROTS ARE MODELS OF ADULT CARROTS YOU FOOLS_

_Horsefish: thats not how it WORKS JAKE_

_1-800-Les-Bian: turn the bus AROUND JAKE_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: YOU BETTER STOP QUICK_

_Searich: wh_

_1-800-Les-Bian: inside joke_

_Pansexuality: hey jenna remember_

_Pansexuality: i leap i fall i cry_

_MtFTrans &Bi: OH GOD NOT AGAIN _

_Pansexuality: its funny if you could see a video bc theres movement in it_

_Non Bi Bi Bi: lets just put all of our inside jokes here_

_Gay: YOU DROPPED THE WEED_

_FtMTrans &Bi: NOT THE WEED _

_Gay: AAAAAAAA_

_Searich: uranus i think u mean UR ANUS_

_1-800-Les-Bian: CHRISTINE WHAT THE FUCK_

_FtMTrans &Bi: ‘who has thin hips and then LEG????’ ‘jake’ _

_Horsefish: can confirm_

_FtMTrans &Bi: //clapping rhythmically// michael mell fell in a well michael mell is dead in his bed _

_Gay: in my defense we were five_

_Horsefish: that does not make me feel any better_


	91. Chapter 91

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy is on his period in this chapter, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to!

Jeremy and Michael were smashing buttons frantically as they battled each other for first place in Mario Kart. Michael was sticking his tongue out as he focused, then, when Jeremy pulled ahead of him and won, stuck it all the way out and yelled.

 

“Aah! Unfair! Unfair! Rematch!” Michael whined, flailing backwards and hitting his back on the ground. “I demand a rematch!” 

 

Jeremy was laughing too hard to answer. The fourteen-year-old was sitting cross-legged on his beanbag, which was beginning to become a bit worn down from use. 

 

_ “Rematch!”  _ Michael screamed, banging his fists on the ground.

 

“Michael! Calm down!” Hà yelled, Michael immediately stopping.

 

“Sorry Mama!” Michael put his hands down in his lap, staring down at them. “Rematch.” Michael demanded, glaring at Jeremy.

 

“Okay, rematch. But on a different game, since I  _ beat  _ you.” Jeremy said, Michael whining at the reminder that he lost.

 

“Bomberman!” Michael suddenly cheered, Jeremy now being the one to yell.

 

“No! I changed my mind!” Jeremy tried to wrangle Michael away from changing the game.

 

“No takebacks!” Michael laughed, taking the disc out of the Wii and booting up the gamecube.

 

“I hate you.” Jeremy grumbled, crossing his arms and watching Michael pop in Bomberman.

 

“Love you too.” Michael teased, leaning back and clicking quickly on the A button to get to the game.

\---

“Stop winning!” Jeremy whined ten minutes later, pushing Michael’s shoulder with his foot in a weak attempt to stop him from getting good scores. Michael just grinned widely.

 

“Stop losing.” Michael replied, Jeremy shoving him with his foot again before putting it down. 

 

Michael won, both of them making very different sounds with their voices as the screen showed Michael’s high score.

 

“How’s it feel, Jeremy?” Michael asked, Jeremy pouting.

 

“Excuse me for being proud that I won against you  _ once.”  _

 

“What can I say? I’m an expert at Bomberman!” Michael laughed.

 

_ “And  _ Mario Kart,  _ and  _ Pikmin,  _ and  _ Kid Icarus,  _ and-”  _ Jeremy counted off on his fingers. “Just Dance, Mario Party, Mario in general-”

 

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Michael said, shutting off the Gamecube and setting his controller down, then standing up. “Wanna see something cool?” 

 

Jeremy looked up at him, shrugging. “Depends.” However, he still followed Michael to his bedroom, which meant going upstairs to the kitchen, then through the living room to another set of stairs, to his bedroom. 

 

“Cover your eyes!” Michael said, grabbing Jeremy’s wrists and bringing them to cover his eyes. Once satisfied that Jeremy wasn’t going to look, he went to his dresser and grabbed a small pot. “Okay, open them!” 

 

Jeremy uncovered his eyes to see a little bonsai tree in Michael’s hands.

 

“Cool! Can I hold it?” Jeremy asked, Michael handing him the tree. “Does it have a name?” 

 

“Joanna.” Michael answered.

 

Jeremy nearly dropped the pot.

 

“What?  _ Why?”  _

 

Michael took back the pot and set it down on his bed, then sat next to it. Jeremy sat next to him, picking at his shirt.

 

“I read somewhere that if you name things with the name you don’t use anymore, or a ‘deadname’ or something, anyways. If you name it your deadname, you won’t have a super bad reaction to the name. I don’t remember it exactly, but-”

 

“So if this tree is Joanna,” Jeremy cringed a little at the name, “And someone calls  _ me  _ that, then-” 

 

“Then you can be all ‘how the heck do you know my bonsai’s name?’” Michael added in, grinning. Jeremy felt himself start to smile, also.

 

“Thanks, Michael.” Jeremy leaned over the bonsai plant and hugged his friend, Michael hugging back. 

 

“You’re welcome!” 

\---

“Can I, uh, use the bathroom?” Jeremy asked, feeling something start to hurt in his lower region. Michael shrugged, not looking up from his DS.

 

“Sure man, go ahead.” 

 

Jeremy got up quickly, nearly running to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, and pulling down his pants.

 

“Oh,  _ God.”  _ Blood was starting to stain his thighs and boxers, and, worse of all, it had come a week early. Jeremy wasn’t prepared, damn it! 

 

He tried to bunch up the boxers enough so that he could wrap toliet paper around it, making it so that maybe he could steal a pad or two when Michael and him were home alone.

 

“Fuck,” he mutters as the paper rips in his grip. He tried to weigh his options. Jasmine and Hà were leaving in fifteen minutes…

 

“Jere? Dude, are you okay? You’ve been in there for five minutes.” Michael rapped on the door with his knuckles. 

 

“I’m fine!” Jeremy’s voice cracks, and he starts to panic a little more. His anxiety-ridden mind brings up the worst outcomes. Michael could see the blood and pass out; Jeremy could ruin Michael’s stuff if he bled through his jeans; he could get yelled at. 

 

“Yeesh, dude, you’re worrying me. Are ya doing a drug trip?” Michael laughed, and it sounded like he sat down in the hallway. “Why didn’t you invite me? Rude.” 

 

Jeremy throws all caution to the wind. He tries to convince himself that he won’t bleed that much on his first day, and he could just… not sleep so close to Michael tonight. 

 

They were freshman boys, anyways. It was weird to cuddle with your same-gender friend at 14, right? 

 

He pulls up his pants, washes his hands, and opens the door to see Michael balancing a skittle on the tip of his tongue. They make awkward eye contact before Michael pops the skittle in his mouth. 

 

“Don’t talk about that,” Michael warned, standing up.

 

“I’m talking about it,” Jeremy replied. Michael groaned.

 

“If you do, I’m ending our 9 year friendship.”

 

“Oh, the horror!” 

\---

Holy  _ shit,  _ Jeremy’s legs hurt. He was sitting on Michael’s couch in the living room, a pillow between his legs despite Michael’s teasing. It alleviated the ache, if only by a little. 

 

The two were watching  _ Aristocats,  _ Michael humming to all of the songs and trying to write the music notes on a piece of paper. It was ‘so if we ever play instruments one day, we can do this!’ 

 

“I play piano, you do remember that, right?” Jeremy asked, and Michael scowled. 

 

“Oh look at me, I’m talented!” 

 

“Shut up, you’re talented too!” Jeremy’s voice cracked again, Michael giggling. 

 

“Okay, Mister Voice Cra- _ ack!”  _ Michael’s tone went up a few octaves, his voice breaking awfully. He covered his mouth and blushed. Jeremy laughed.

 

“Who’s the fool now?” 

 

“Leave me alone, ya bully!” 

\---

“How come Jeremy gets the chocolate bar?” Michael whined, glaring at Jeremy, who was blissfully eating the chocolate. Jeremy smiled innocently.

 

“Cause I’m special. And I grabbed it first.” 

 

Michael scrunched his nose and grabbed a twizzler packet. “Thank you, Mama,” he said quickly, running into the next room and cackling. 

 

“Don’t eat them all!” She called after him.

 

“‘Kay!” 

 

Jasmine, Michael’s Nanay, turned to Jeremy.

 

“Honey, you can bring that to the other room, just don’t spill.” She told him, and Jeremy nodded. He was then reminded of why he had the chocolate in the first place. 

 

“U-uh, actually-” he stuttered, his voice wobbling. “Can I- do you have- um-” 

 

“Have what?” Jasmine asked, moving out of the way of Hà, who went to start cleaning up. Jeremy took in a deep breath.

 

“...pads?” He mumbled, not wanting Michael to hear. Jasmine processed that, then let out an ‘oh.’

 

“Well, I have some in my bathroom, I can go get them, okay?” She asked, and Jeremy nodded.

 

“Okay.”

 

She went into the living room.

 

“Michael Andrew Mell, your Mama told you to not eat those all!” 

 

Michael was laughing.

 

“There’s one left! You can’t yell at me!” 

 

_ “Ay Caramba!”  _ Jasmine cried, Michael laughing louder. Jeremy turned and followed her.

 

“Was that Tagalog?” He asked.

 

“Spanish.” The mother and son said at the same time. 

  
“Oh.”


	92. Chapter 92

Michael was idly playing on his DS, going through the motions of Zelda with skill acquired from repeated gaming. Jeremy was cuddled up next to him, wearing Michael’s sweater and letting out soft sighs in his sleep every once in awhile. Michael and Jeremy has their arms interlocked, so Jeremy’s head was more on his stomach. Michael noticed that the sweater rode up on Jeremy’s stomach, revealing a little bit of his tummy.

 

The room was illuminated by the DS screen and by Christmas lights strung up around the room, the red wall color giving the room a soft pink glow. It was 9:55, Michael noticed.

 

Quickly clicking through the character dialogue, Michael let his stylus-holding hand drift to Jeremy’s head, twisting the hair in his fingers. Of course, the moment was broken once the game started back into motion. It was nice when it lasted.

 

Jeremy started letting out half-legible mumbles in his sleep, his hands starting to fidget. Michael began to try and make sense of the mumbles, wanting to discern if Jeremy was having a nightmare. If he was, Michael would have to wake him up as soon as possible. The mumblings got clearer, if only by a little bit.

 

 _“Seeeiiize the day…”_ Jeremy sang, his voice scratchy. Michael snorted under his breath.

\---

The clock struck 10:30, Jeremy’s breathing changing a little as he woke up. With half-lidded eyes, he watched Michael play for a little, then turned to face him somewhat.

 

“What’re you doin’ up?” Jeremy asked, Michael jumping a little at the broken silence.

 

“What are you doing awake?” Michael asked, and Jeremy shrugged.

 

“It’s hot.”

 

Michael smiled crookedly.

 

“Well, you _do_ have my sweater on, and that thing is a radiator, so…” Michael teased, snapping his DS closed. Wait, shit, he didn’t save. Damn. Jeremy scowled at him.

 

“Be quiet.” Jeremy then tried to wiggle out of the red cloth without letting go of Michael, the taller boy soon helping him get it off. They both tossed it somewhere in the depths of Michael’s closet, Jeremy peeling his thinner t-shirt off and throwing it on the ground.

 

Now shirtless, Jeremy laid his head on Michael’s stomach again, putting them back into their previous position. Michael ran his hand over Jeremy’s slightly muscled bicep, then tucked his arm underneath Jeremy’s armpit, holding a council within his mind to start tickling his boyfriend.

 

He decided no, once he realized that Jeremy would probably kick him in the nuts if he tried. He was at the perfect spot to do so, anyways. He was like that angry midget in _Bedtime Stories_ when he was tired and provoked. And Michael didn’t want to be kicked in the nuts today, no sir.

 

“I heard that,” Jeremy grumbled, and Michael started to fear for the safety of his balls. “I’m not gonna kick you in the jewels, Micah,” Jeremy assured him, squishing his cheek into Michael’s stomach.

 

Michael was oddly relieved. He started to run his hand lazily in circles, then-

 

Oh, hello, top surgery scar. Fancy seeing you here, didn’t mean to bother you. Bye now.

 

He moved his hand to Jeremy’s stomach, Jeremy letting out short giggles as he touched sensitive skin.

 

After a while of that, Jeremy leaned up, pushed his glasses out of the way, and kissed Michael, the other boy caught by surprise before kissing him back. The two of them locked lips, Jeremy moving to straddle Michael’s thighs in order to get more comfortable. As he did, he put Michael’s glasses on the bedside stand. Michael pulled him closer, his hands resting on his boyfriend’s back, avoiding his… other scars. Jeremy cupped Michael’s face, pressing his lips harder to the others before pulling away. Michael’s eyes fluttered open, Jeremy smiling as he caught his breath.

 

“Holy _shit.”_ Michael muttered, making Jeremy laugh. “Just- wow, that was unexpected.”

 

“Was it good?” Jeremy asked, a dark mass of anxiety creeping into his bliss. Michael was quick to reassure him, saying,

 

“Oh, yeah, it was- it was great, I swear!” Michael spluttered, starting to blush more. Jeremy’s cheeks also grew redder, twirling a piece of Michael’s hair with his pointer finger. “Thanks.”

 

Jeremy snorted out a laugh.

 

“Did... did you just _thank_ me for kissing you?”

 

Michael smiled, his nose scrunching.

 

“What else am I supposed to do?” He asked, Jeremy giggling again and laying his head on Michael’s shoulder.

 

“A dork. I’m dating an absolute _dork.”_ Jeremy lamented, thumping his head lightly against the side of Michael’s head. Michael laughed.

 

“Whatever. Kiss me, you geek.”

 

Jeremy picked his head off of Michael’s shoulder and complied.


	93. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't think theres any warnings! If you feel like there should be warnings, however, feel free to tell me! Thank you!!

Rich doesn’t like fire. He knows how dumb that sounds, because who’s afraid of fire? 

 

But, every time he sees a match, every time he sees a tongue of flame, he feels hot and cold at the same time and his scars  _ hurt  _ and he can almost hear the voice of Kermit The Frog glitching in his head, trying to make him listen to its’ abuse.

 

He’s very familiar with the Japanese words for  _ weak, dumb,  _ and  _ useless.  _

 

He’s tried to face his fear. He tried to be like Evan, who went ziplining with him and Jared even after he saw how high the tree was, the fear on his face evident but he still went, going down the line like a professional despite his wobbly knees and white face. 

 

Rich had the wobbly knees and pale face part down, he just can’t get past the crippling fear and panic, no matter how hard he tried. 

 

The first time he panicked over fire was when Jake asked him to light a candle. They had asked him because they were deep in their Sunday Depression, which was a weird thing that neither of the two could understand. 

 

Basically, whenever Jake went to church like the good little Christian kid they were, they would come back to their dorm or Rich’s house, tiredly shuck off their clothes and put on pyjamas, and lay in bed all day, not being able to fall asleep or really do anything other than stare blankly at something until 9 o’clock, when they would drag their ass out of bed and eat something despite not feeling hungry. 

 

Rich had spent countless hours researching and reading forums over Sunday Depression, none of them fitting the bill. Jake wasn’t stressed about the week ahead; they weren’t anxious about anything; and they usually didn’t have bad leg and hip pain on Sunday. 

 

The two of them usually ended up watching Netflix, Jake’s head somehow finding its way into Rich’s lap and the two of them falling asleep like that. Heidi once snapped a picture of the two in that position; it was the absolute bane of Rich’s existence.

 

But, one evening, when the two were in Jake’s dorm, Jake turned their body over so that they could face Rich, who had his reading glasses on and was doing homework. 

 

“Rich?” They mumbled, their voice a low croak. Rich looked up, his eyes a little bigger from behind the glasses.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Can you light a candle?” They asked, and Rich rose an eyebrow. 

 

“Why? I mean, I’ll do it, but-” Rich trailed off. Jake shrugged, yawning into their pillow. 

 

“I dunno, maybe something to wake me up, or- yeah, this is dumb, sorry-”

 

Rich waved his hands in panic.

 

“No! It’s not stupid, I promise.” Rich stood, subconsciously tapping the bridge of his glasses so that the lenses wouldn’t slide off, and headed over to a little table that had a cardboard box on it, filled with homemade candles.

 

Chloe was batshit crazy sometimes (24/7), but she made good crafts. 

 

He popped the top off of the first one, a strong smell of cedar catching him off guard. He blinked dazedly for a second before putting it back in the box, taking out one that supposedly smelled like vanilla. He took a whiff, and, without meaning to, moaned softly. 

 

“Dude, what the fuck?” Jake asked behind him, and Rich jumped, nearly dropping the candle. He spun on his heel, his reading glasses bonking his nose.

 

“We’re not talking about that.” He said hurriedly. 

 

“Oh, I’m definitely talking about that,” Jake smirked, laughing when Rich flushed red.  

 

“I hate everything you love.” Rich grumbled, turning back around and searching for the box of matches. 

 

“Haha- wait.” Jake said, then threw a pillow at Rich. “Dude!”

 

“What?” Rich asked innocently, smiling to himself as he mindlessly took out a match then lit it, then stopped and stared, everything dimming a little. 

 

Oh God.

 

The orange flame was flickering around, the brown wood shriveling to black under its touch. Rich watched the tongue of flame go down the match, only snapping back to reality when his fingers started to hurt from the proximity of the flame. 

 

“Ow!” He hissed, throwing the matchstick into the candle jar, the wick flaring to life as Rich stuck his thumb and pointer finger in his mouth, the burned digits aching. 

 

“Shit, are you okay?” Jake asked, Rich whirling around to face them again. Jake had their arms crossed over their pillow, the arms holding up their head. 

 

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just forgot how fast matches burned, ha!” Rich laughed nervously, the words muffled due to his fingers in his mouth. The smell of vanilla filled his nose, so he reached behind himself, grabbed the candle jar, and set it closer to Jake. They smiled at him and took a deep breath in.

 

“Thanks, Richie.” They said, laying their head back down. Rich shakily smirked, sitting back down and doing his homework again.

 

“You’re welcome.” 

 

He tries to avoid fire at all costs now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh if someone drew Jake sleeping with their head in Rich's lap or Rich with glasses I will actually descend to the next universe because holy FUCK those are cute images


	94. Chapter 94

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy does use a needle to give himself T, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to!!

“Jesus Christ, the needle is _that_ big?!” Michael squawked as he made grabby-hands for it. Jeremy was reading over the box and his doctor's note, and therefore didn’t answer. “Dude, hel-lo.”

 

“Huh?” Jeremy looked up at Michael, his eyes slightly glassy. “Well, yeah, I guess.” Michael looked disgusted.

 

“And you haveta stick that motherfucker in you every day?”

 

“Language!” Jeremy chastised. Michael rolled his eyes. The two fifteen-year-olds were sitting on the ground in Jeremy’s bathroom, needle boxes and pages of health warnings spread out across the floor. "And it's not every day. I take it every two weeks or somethin'." 

 

Jeremy opened the box, and out fell a bottle of testosterone. Michael snatched it up.

 

“Ew, it looks like flat Sprite or something. Why does it look like that?”

 

Jeremy shrugged.

 

“I dunno. I think it’s chemically-engineered in a lab?” Jeremy looked back down at the doctor’s note, holding out a hand blindly so that Michael could deposit the bottle. Michael put it on his palm, and Jeremy closed his hand, also grabbed a film-covered needle and ripping it free.

 

“Shouldn’t we be doing this at my house? Don’t you need adult supervision, doing shit like this?”

 

Jeremy rapped on his knee with a knuckle.

 

 _“Language!”_ He scolded again, preparing the needle. “I thought you swore- heh- swore out swearing?” Michael leaned over his shoulder.

 

“I’m in a stressful situation. And no, see? It says ‘Mister Heere, do this with adult supervision, you absolute dummy.’” Michael pointed at the note, and Jeremy shoved him with his shoulder.

 

“It does _not_ say that!”

 

Michael smiled cheekily and shrugged.

 

“Sorry, blame my dyslexia.”

 

Jeremy squinted and glared at him.

 

“You- whatever.”

 

Despite his joking, Michael then turned serious.

 

“But seriously, my moms should probably watch over this, because-” he rubbed his nose with a fist, “You could like, overdose or something.”

 

Jeremy made a distressed sound.

 

“Way to stress me out, Michael!” He whined, dropping the unopened bottle in his lap and keeping the needle a safe distance from the both of them. “They’re at work, aren’t they?”

 

Michael hummed.

 

“Well, yeah, but-”

 

Jeremy shushed him.

 

“I need to learn how to do this myself, anyways. My doctor already showed me and dad how to do it, and he gave me my first shot two weeks ago.”

 

Michael sighed and then leaned back, lightly bonking his head on the wall. "You didn't tell me? Bully." 

 

"I  _did_ tell you." Jeremy grumbled, going back to the note, then carefully stuck the needle in the T's membrane-covered top, slowly filling the syringe with the right amount. 150 ml…

 

“Holy fu-rick!” Michael suddenly whispered, Jeremy startling, but, thankfully, no damage was done to the needle. “That’s, like, a _thousand_ milliliters! And it's thick as Hell!”

 

Jeremy snorted.

 

“It’s .25.” He corrected, Michael making a small noise in the back of his throat. Jeremy replaced the blunt needle with a smaller one, trying not to prick himself on his finger.

 

“Same thing, dude!” Michael whined, watching Jeremy closely as he finished screwing the needle on. “You’re gonna be buff as _fuck._ ”

 

“Meh, this is one of the lowest dosages,” Jeremy admitted, his cheeks flushing red. He then pulled his shorts so that his right thigh was revealed, positioning the needle over the space a few inches from where a little Sharpied dot was. Michael took the shorts' in his hand, letting Jeremy prep the spot where he planned to inject.

 

After a few moments of Jeremy building up his courage, he placed the needle on his skin.

 

“Jere, don’t stress about it. Just get it down with.” Michael muttered, Jeremy smiling at him.

 

“Yeah… okay.” He took a deep breath. “Three…”

 

“Two…” Michael added.

 

“One!” They said together, Jeremy sticking the needle into his thigh, pressing down on the plunger, watching the clear liquid disappear until it was completely gone. He then pulled the needle out, his hands shaking.

 

Blood welled up where the injection was, and Michael sucked in a sharp breath and shut his eyes, letting go of the leg of Jeremy's shorts.

 

When he next opened his eyes, Jeremy had put a band-aid on the spot and was putting the T back into its box, a dopey grin on his face. The two boys made eye contact, then Michael took Jeremy’s face in his hands and squished his cheeks.

 

“It’s working!”

 

“How?” Jeremy laughed. Michael looked closer.

 

“You just do, man!” Michael brought his palms closer together twice, squishing Jeremy’s cheeks even more. Jeremy smiled wider.

 

“You’re ridiculous.”

 

“Guilty as charged.” Michael teased, letting Jeremy’s face shift back into its original structure. “Wanna go play Mario?”

 

“Sure.” The two of them stood, cleaning the bathroom up a little and setting the T in a designated corner.

 

And, call Michael crazy, but Jeremy did look different. He looked more mature.

  
Or Michael was going delusional. Either option was not entirely out of range for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the amazing Alecjbi and Emilywolf, who told me how to make this chapter more realistic!


	95. Chapter 95

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rich exposes Jeremy and Michael and honestly same

Rich was walking through the hall of the dorms, shifting through his backpack. 

 

“Where’s my paper…?” He muttered, looking through his binder again. “Wait, shit, that’s right, left it at Michael’s.”

 

He headed towards Michael’s room, seeing that the door was cracked open he pushed it open all the way, then his heart did a little tap-dance of shock.

 

Michael had his mouth on Jeremy’s neck, and due to some purplish bruises that were starting to show up, it was evident that they had been doing this for a while. Rich made a little squeak, and the two other boys caught attention of him.

 

“Jesus Christ-” Michael choked, Jeremy scrambling away from him and falling off of the bed they were on. “Rich, don’t you-”

 

Rich smiled widely. 

 

“Dude, at least close the door before you start screwin’ Jeremy, alright?”

 

Michael blushed harder, and Jeremy curled up in a ball on the floor. 

 

“If you-” 

 

“The group chat is hearing about this!” Rich sang, running from the open doorway. He unlocked the door to his dorm, going in and locking the door behind him, then flopping on his bed and pulling out his phone..

 

_ Horsefish: GAY ALERT GAY ALERT MICHAEL AND JEREMY ARE MAKING OUT IN THEIR DORM ROOM  _

 

_ Horsefish: THE DOOR WAS OPEN AND EVERYTHING IT WAS SOME PRETTY KINKY STUFF UHUHUHUHUHUHUHU _

 

_ Gay: YOU PIECE OF WHITE PAPER STEPPED ON BY A SHOE ILL KILL YOU _

 

_ Horsefish: HAHAHAHAHHAHHAH HAVE FUN CATCHING ME  _

 

“Can I murder Rich?” Michael asked, clearly seething as he stared at his phone. Jeremy looked up from his hands, which were fiddling with his shirt, and shrugged.

 

“Sure. All the repercussions would be put on you anyways.” He got up, and headed to the bathroom. “Murder away, I say.”

 

Michael angrily typed a response to Rich. 

 

_ Gay: jeremys not holding me back _

 

_ Gay: ill do it _

 

_ Gay: ill shoot you _

 

“I’m shooting him.” Michael said definitely, getting up and sitting on the couch. Jeremy walked out of the bathroom, his neck distinctly hickey-free.

 

“Meh, poison him. Not as suspicious.” 

 

“Why are you supporting this?! You’re supposed to be the  _ good  _ boyfriend who whacks me on the head with a newspaper and tells me to sit my gay ass down and think this over,” Michael whined. Jeremy giggled and sat by him on the couch, placing his chin on his shoulder and giving him puppy-dog eyes. 

 

“Looks like you already know what to do,” He teased Michael. “Besides, your gay ass is already sitting.” 

 

Michael gave him a side eye. Then, slightly making Jeremy’s head slip off of his shoulder, Michael put an arm around his boyfriend, Jeremy cuddling up to his side. Michael’s phone buzzed, so he pulled it out of his pocket and opened the notification. 

 

_ Horsefish: you may shoot me with a gun but i can shoot you with words _

 

_ Horsefish: u probably last two (2) seconds skiddly-pooping with jeremy _

 

_ Gay: what the hell is a skiddly-pooping  _

 

_ Horsefish: SEX YOU VIRGIN _

 

_ Gay: yeah well you and jakes sex probably mostly consists of spongebob quotes _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: i have been summoned _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: i dont like the reason i was summoned _

 

_ Horsefish: what kind of spongebob quotes is the real question here _

 

_ Gay: FIRMLY GRASP IT  _

 

_ Searich: OH DEAR GOD  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: is mayonnaise an instrument _

 

_ Pansexuality: IM READY _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: IIIIIII NEEEEEEED IIIIIIIIIIIT _

 

_ Horsefish: I HATE YOU ALL _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi has gone offline _

 

“We killed Jake,” Michael remarked. Jeremy snorted.

 

“Nice.” 


	96. Chapter 96

Michael had an idea. He had been planning it for a while, actually, but he kept on getting side-tracked with other things.

 

Now, though, he was ready. He had gone through all of his yearbooks and pictures, looking for the picture that he knew existed but couldn’t find until he went through his scrapbook. 

 

It was a picture of little five-year-old Jeremy, his hair trailing down his back and a breeze blowing a few strands to the side, a fabric flower hairclip holding his bangs out of his face. He had a white sundress on, and he was gently smiling at the camera, his hands clasped behind his back. His nose was scrunched up, messing with the freckles, and his eyes were bright. 

 

It was professionally taken, and on the back, was a little note. 

 

_ My beautiful Joanna is growing up! - Wyonna Heere _

 

Yeah. Michael had scratched that note out, and covered it with Whiteout. He got a red pen and replaced it with,

 

_ Wow my boyfriend is so?? Cute?? No wonder I had a gay awakening at 7 - Michael Mell _

 

He then stuck the picture in his pocket, and headed to where the group was meeting up in the cafeteria, sans Jeremy, who was sleeping. God damn Niagara Falls of blood, not letting Michael cuddle with his boyfriend. Shame on you. 

 

He saw the group sitting at a table, and went to sit by them, Jake wriggling in their wheelchair and trying to move. 

 

“Hey Mell.”

 

“Hey.” Michael said, then sat by Christine and Brooke and set the picture in the middle of the table. Chloe picked it up and scanned over it.

 

“Cutie.” She decided, letting Jenna see. Jenna ‘aww’ed, then went back to her phone. The entire group saw the picture and added in their input, no one seemingly recognizing who was in the picture. Not even Rich, which Michael laughed about internally. 

 

Once the picture made its rounds around the table, Michael asked,

 

“Do you know who that is?” 

 

“No, I don’t think so,” Christine said, looking back at the picture. “Is this a part of your coding class? Like, now you’re gonna computer-generate it?” 

 

“What?” Michael asked, genuinely confused. Christine just scoffed. 

 

“I’m in theatre, not all your techy-wecky stuff.” Christine elaborated, and Rich choked on his bagel.

 

“ _ Techy-wecky?”  _ Rich wheezed, snorting into his palm. Christine glared at him. 

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Who’s in the picture, Michael?” Brooke asked, her hands holding a coffee cup close to her face. 

 

“It’s Jeremy, in kindergarten.” 

 

Shock washed over the table, Chloe snatching up the picture again. 

 

(You know that meme of the guy holding a paper, and then in the next panel, he’s holding it closer, squinting at the page? That was Chloe and Jenna. They even squinted at the same time. It was creepy.)

 

“Oh my God, it  _ is _ him!” Chloe gasped, the missing puzzle piece falling into place. “I remember being so jealous of that dress…” She hummed, getting lost in her memories of happy little Chloe at five. 

 

“Chlo.” Jenna said, snapping her back into reality.

 

“Right. So,” Chloe looked at Michael, “Why’d you bring it?”

 

“I have a idea. It’s gonna sound dumb, but…” He took in a deep breath, “Jeremy hates looking at himself pre-transition. I was thinkin,’ maybe we could all put a little thing from all of us on the back of the sheet? So, like, when he sees it, he can look at the back-”

 

“-and see that we all support him?” Jenna finished, and Michael nodded. “That’s cute, Michael, really.” She jokingly nudged Chloe. “I would like that too~” She teased her. 

 

“Get a picture of you at five, and I will  _ cover  _ it in love,” Brooke said, Chloe nodding.

 

“Ew, romance.” Christine fake-gagged. 

 

“Ssh!” Jenna whined, and everyone laughed. 

\---

Later, everyone had bought a pen of their favorite color and wrote their little notes, which were as follows:

 

_ I was gay for you for a reason, man - Rich (ur bi bro for life) _

 

_ “You are perfectly cast in your life, I wouldn’t be able to see anyone else but you in the part.” Love you, Jere! - Christine  _

 

_ You can talk to me anytime, remember that u useless paperclip (in the most affectionate way)- Jenna _

 

_ <3 - Brooke _

 

_ If anyone threatens you I’ll kill them dead - Chloe <3 _

 

_ You’re pretty swell, little buddy - Jake (Tease me all you want but sixties lingo is LIT) _

 

Michael then went back to his dorm, carefully opening the door and peeking in. Jeremy was still sleeping. Michael quietly taped the picture to the mirror and tip-toed out, going to get a snack from the cafe.

\---

Later, Michael went back to his dorm room. Jeremy was sitting in bed, doodling a little. Michael sat by him and kissed him on the cheek. 

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey.” Jeremy blushed, then turned towards Michael, their noses nearly touching. “Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //fingerguns// my names Rich I'm 14 and I'm fucking tired I wrote this in an hour


	97. Chapter 97

Jake used to have a sister. 

 

Her name was Lillian Amber Dillinger, while theirs was Jakob William Dillinger. They were Lily-and-Jake, Jake-and-Lily, always together, never separated. 

 

They were the younger twin, the healthier one. Lily was born with an lazy eye and asthma, neither very bad, but different. Jake was often fighting off bullies.

 

Lily’s lazy eye always came to rest pointed towards her nose, so it looked like she could cross her eyes and then move the other eye, making it seem like she could move her eyes like a chameleon. That was their dad’s nickname for her. Lillian the chameleon. Jake also had a nickname, something related to their heterochromia, but they forgot it. 

 

Even though Lily was expected to not grow as big, Jake was the tinier one. They were at least two inches shorter than Lily, and skinnier than her. Their mother was stocky, and their father was thin. It passed down to their children. 

 

When Jake and Lily were six, Jake got sick. They were in the hospital after they had a seizure due to their fever, and the only thing they remember is, after they passed out, they woke up in the car being cradled by their mother, and she had water coming out of her eyes.

  
  


_ (“There’s water in your eyes, what's wrong, mommy?” Jake had asked, clutching weakly at her shirt. She only smoothed their hair back, shushing them as more water fell onto their forehead.) _

 

Water…

 

Tears?

 

Their mother never cried.

 

Lily was still at school. She didn’t know about Jake. 

 

_ (“Where’s Lily?” Jake cried, squirming as their mother handed them off to a man in all white that was too white  _ **_too white_ **

 

_ “I want Lily!” They whined, but their parents didn’t do anything  _ **_they did nothing nothing nothing)_ **

 

When Jake got better, they were placed with their aunt, who died when they were 15, and they ran from the law until their uncle claimed that he was taking care of them.

 

_ (“Jake, are you sure you don’t want me there?” Uncle Austin had asked, and he really did look like he wanted to live with Jake, because he was a nice man, but-  _

 

_ “I’ll be fine,” Jake assured him, giving him the confidence-filled smile that they had perfected so long ago, and it must have worked, because Uncle Austin left Jake, but then  _ **_why couldn’t they breathe they were alone and no one was coming back why why WHY)_ **

 

Jake sat up with a strangled cry on their tongue, the sudden rush of memories giving them a headache. Rich slept peacefully on the bed beside them, and the clock showed  _ 4:19  _ AM. 

 

Still shaking, Jake rubbed the sleep out of their eyes and grabbed their phone, opening up Facebook. (Leave them alone. It was the only social media Uncle Austin agreed to get.)

 

_ Jake Dillinger has sent a message to Austin Boyd. _

 

_ Jake: Uncle Austin, do you know if Lily has any social media?  _

 

A reply comes in, 5 minutes later.

 

_ Austin: She has a Instagram, I think. @LiliJamesDillin. Why? _

 

_ Jake: Just wanted to know. Thanks. _

 

Next, they went onto Instagram. Her profile popped up, with a video as the most recent post added. They clicked on it, and the video showed a girl crossing her eyes, then moving one to look at the camera. 

 

_ “Just call me Lillian the chameleon!”  _ She chirped, then the video ended. 

 

Jake’s hands were shaking. It was so  _ easy.  _

 

Rich sat up by them, rubbing his eyes. 

 

“J, go back to bed,” he mumbled sleepily, and Jake just nodded, but couldn't stop staring at the page. “Who’s that?” Rich asked, also looking blearily at it.

 

“Rich, you do know about my family, right?” Jake asked, and Rich nodded, waking up a little.

 

“Yeah…?” 

 

Jake dug their fingers into Rich’s sides, the shorter one yelping as he was woken up fully by his datemates cold fingers. 

 

“Jesus  _ Christ!”  _ He shrieked, nearly punching Jake in the gut as he giggled. “ _ Stop it, tallass!”  _

 

Jake smirked, then went back to the page, their smile and voice both becoming slightly hysterical. “My sister- this is  _ her,  _ Rich, I haven’t seen her since- since like I was six, I dunno, and-” 

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.” Rich waved his hands, now fully awake. “Ssh, for one, people are sleeping right next to us. I’m usually the one to be an asshole, but college kids go out for  _ blood  _ when they’re angry, so yeah. Two,” Rich leaned over and grabbed his glasses along with Jake’s, giving the pair to them and Jake sliding the lenses on their own face, Rich doing the same. “- Why haven’t you seen her?” 

 

Jake cringed.

 

“When we were six, I got sick.  _ Hella  _ sick. And-”

 

“Please never say ‘hella’ ever again.” Rich begged, jokingly making his face look pained. Jake just snorted. 

 

“I was, though. Seizures due to my fever, I needed a breathing mask, and I was drugged to the brim with fever reducers. It was really bad, and contagious, I guess. So, my parents put me in the hospital after a really bad seizure-”

 

“You had more than one?” Rich asked, and Jake nodded. “Jake, that’s-” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyways, they put me in the hospital, and since people all thought I was a lost cause and that I was gonna bite the dust anyways, they decided to take Lily with them.” Jake felt their voice getting shaky. “And when I woke up, I was pretty thin and malnourished because of the fever, but my uncle said that I was  _ determined  _ to look for Lily. He said-” Jake cleared their throat, and Rich scooted a little closer. “He said that I tried to get out of the bed, and nearly hit my head, and when the doctors found me, I said I was gonna go look for my sister.” 

 

“That’s… really cool, Jake. Cool that you were gonna do that, even at six.” Rich told them, and Jake smiled. 

 

“Thanks.” They opened their phone again, and stared at the Instagram profile. “Should I text her?”

 

Rich nodded enthusiastically.

 

“Do it. As you do it, I’m going back to bed. Night.”

\---

_ Jakey.D.NB: Hey, Lily! I was wondering, and I’m really sorry if this sounds creepy, but… did you have a sibling when you were younger? Are you still connected with them? I’ll explain later, I promise.  _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: ???  _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: I had a twin when I was little… I was told he died. Why?? _

 

_ Jakey.D.NB: Was their name Jakob William Dillinger? _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: How the fuck… are you stalking me? _

 

_ Jakey.D.NB: No!! It’s just… when I was little, I had a older twin named Lily, and I found your Instagram, and I just wanted to know.  _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: ??? Trippy, dude.  _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: Were you separated from her when you were six? _

 

_ Jakey.D.NB: After being put in the hospital, yeah. _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: And what was her dad's nickname for her? _

 

_ Jakey.D.NB: Lillian the chameleon  _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: Oh my god  _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: ??? There is NO WAY this is real _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: Jakey???? _

 

_ Jakey.D.NB: Lily! _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: OHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDD BABY SIBLING _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: I saw that you use they/them?? _

 

_ Jakey.D.NB: Yep! _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: Cool cool!!  _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: I'm so happy aaaaaa <3 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your ideas for chapter 100??


	98. Chapter 98

Christine was first diagnosed with ADD.

 

She figures, yeah, sure, she could never pay attention with a boring class, but then whenever play rehearsal came along, she would go into what her friends dubbed The Christine Trance. TCT (What they usually called it) was when she would completely throw herself into studying, and no one could lift her from her focus.

 

She lost a few friends because of TCT.

 

She can never remember things, either. She goes onto YouTube to look up a video that Rich told her to watch, and once she clicks on the search bar, she gets a small headache from trying to remember what she was doing.

 

However, people told her that, when she was little, she had the mind of an elephant. Little baby Christine could recite a few lines from Shakespeare, and she has a dim memory of her third birthday party. (Her best friend at the time, Mandie, had blown a party horn in her face. Mandie didn't remember it, despite her being 5 and a half at the time.)

 

Yeah. Christine had an amazing memory. Then, without explanation, it just… disappeared. No more. Nada. Zip. Zero. Goose eggs.

 

She forgot to hand in assignments, or that she had homework at all. She forgot to eat, or sleep. She forgot instructions given to her, unless they were very specific or written down. She would also forget easy things, like turning off the lights or giving Brooke her hairclip back.

 

(Dang. She still hasn't done that.)

 

And, of course, she had endless amounts of energy. She would skip around school, being scolded at for ‘running,’ but it _isn't_ running, Mister Wimmer, I’m skipping! I’m watching where I’m going and everything!

 

She got detention a lot for ‘talking back.’

 

Boredom is her biggest enemy. She tries to get herself as exhausted as possible so that she could do that thing in books where the people fall asleep right when they got the pillow, because that had been a lifetime goal and-

 

Focus, Christine. Focus.

 

Play Rehearsal was the most _beautiful_ thing ever, but even that, after a while, got boring. Why can't we just do a scene once, then go to another one, and come back to this one? It didn't make any sense in her brain.

 

She was always scolded for doing _that_ thing, the thing where she didn’t want to stay in one place. It was always a fear of hers that, once she was in college, she would be marked the girl who never could stay in one place, like Rachel from _Gilmore Girls._ She was also terrified that she would become addicted to drugs and alcohol, due to her mother telling her _if you always want to do something every single second, you will become hooked on drugs, Christine! You'll die young if you keep doing this ‘I’m bored!’ thing!_

 

She never got high with Michael, and Jake always made sure that they had apple juice or water in their house during a party. She felt bad for being an annoyance, but the two always took it in stride.

 

Her brain worked in weird ways. Sure, she could remember High School Musical songs from nearly five years ago, but the quadratic formula always decided to pack up and leave through the back door after a weekend of not talking about it.

 

That's what unhealthy relationships are like, kiddos.

 

When Jeremy asked her out, Christine was scared. Not scared of Jeremy, of course (well, he _did_ almost zombify the school, but that was the SQUIP acting through him) but of growing bored. That's what she always did, right? She got bored of things. She left them behind for things that caught her interest. She didn't want to do that to Jeremy, or Jake, for that matter.

 

Also that, you know, she was aro. She didn't even know how to treat a dating relationship. With Jake, they once leaned in for a kiss at Sbarro’s, and she accidently moved away from them, before thinking _oh, Jake wants to kiss. Okay, sure, let's do that._

 

_Why don't I like kissing Jake?_

 

That's why she sat Jeremy down one day, after about three weeks of dating. She told him how, even though she loved him _but not in the way she thought she should_ that she didn't want to hurt him by leaving him, so can we maybe break up?

 

Wow. That made no sense whatsoever.

 

Jeremy looked a little shell-shocked, and, yeah, Christine gets that. Pining after a girl for two years? Bound to hurt to be _dumped_ by her. He quickly regained his control, though, saying _Okay, if you don't want to be in a relationship right now, yeah, I get that, of course,_ and Christine just nods and smiles, thinking _I don't want to be in a relationship, ever._

 

Wait. That sounds mean. Shoot.

 

She loves Jeremy and Jake, but… just not like that. She never saw them as wanting to have a _dating_ relationship with them, and she never saw them as hot. She just wanted to be their friend, and that they're both adorable in their own unique way. But she never felt attracted to them.

 

Question mark. 

 

What?

 

This is confusing.

 

Anyways. 

 

When she gets ADHD medicine, a little voice in her head (it's her conscience, she hopes) says _what if this is what is making you not feel attracted to anyone? Lust and romance are normal, and ADHD is not. What if this is all just my ADHD? Do I even have ADHD?_

 

Okay, brain, slow down. Let's see if these work, first, then we can tackle that. One step at a time. Good brain. Insert petting motion here.

 

When they find the dosage that keeps her from forgetting that she was eating chips (true story. The chip was soggy when she remembered that it was still in the salsa) she starts thinking about her sexuality.

 

Once she comes out as AroAce, she feels more figured out.

 

Good job, Christine. I’m proud of you. (She says this to herself. Leave her alone.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //whip dabs// all the ADHD things are true stories about me 
> 
> Chapter 100 will be the reunion! Thanks for putting in your wonderful input!


	99. Chapter 99

_ Gay: I'm bored _

 

_ Horsefish: same _

 

_ Searich: big mood _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: mmm _

 

_ Pansexuality: hehe _

 

_ Pansexuality: Chloe has a secret _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: IF YOU TELL THE GC I SWEAR TO GOD BROOKE _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: I WILL FIGHT YOU _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: nyehwhe _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: YOU TOO JENNA _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: is it that chloe likes country music? _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: JAKE YOU PIECE OF ABSOLUTE HORSE SHIT _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: feisty _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: UGH _

 

_ Gay: I cannot believe that Chloe is a country fan _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: I'M CHOPPING YOUR DICK OFF _

 

_ Horsefish: kinky _

 

_ Gay: harder mommy _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: I just entered the gc and I'm greeted with ‘harder mommy’ as spoken by my boyfriend, who is gay, to Chloe, who is lesbian _

 

_ Gay: u know it babe _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: I'M SHOOK AS HELL _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: chlo you're always shook as hell _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: I KNOW BUT THIS TIME IT'S FOR A REASON  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: CHLOE LIKES COUNTRY MUSIC IM WHEEZING  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: JEREMY IM CHOPPING YOUR DICK OFF WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE _

 

_ Searich: BDSM goals _

 

_ Horsefish: yeet  _

 

_ Gay: WAIT HOLD ON  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: CHRISTINE IS KINKY PASS IT ON _

 

_ Horsefish: the fact that she's not denying it is the scariest part  _

 

_ Searich: ;)  _

 

_ Gay: dear god _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: I'm gonna go _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: No no no  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: we’re not done with the ‘country music’ scandal  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: the fact that it's a scandal is hilarious to me _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: gdi  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: Its calming ok _

 

_ Gay: ,,,,music about sex and drugs and drinking is soothing to you?? _

 

_ Horsefish: fitting _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: it fits her _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: I am holding the butcher knife as we text _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: and says the 80s music fan _

 

_ Horsefish: OH SHIT CHLOES SPILLIN THE TEA  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: xD  _

 

_ Gay: YOU DARE MOCK MY TASTE IN MUSIC  _

 

_ Gay: I'M SHOOK  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: FIGHT ME BITCH  _

 

_ Gay: LET'S GO 7/11 AT 3 AM  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: YOU'RE ON HOE  _

 

_ FtMTrans&Bi: Wait when will the fight commence  _

 

_ Gay: didn't think about that  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: tomorrow good? _

 

_ Gay: yeah _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: FIGHT ME BEHIND 7/11 AT 3 AM TOMORROW  _

 

_ Gay: OK _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: I'll bring snacks  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: I'll record it  _

 

_ Gay: good people will see me kiCKING CHLOES ASS  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian:  _ **_hewwo.jpg_ **

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: you wouldn't punch a person with glasses, would you? _

 

_ Gay:  _ **_dontyoueven.jpg_ **

 

_ Horsefish: that glare is doing things to my heart  _

 

_ Gay: rich that's gay _

 

_ Horsefish: :P _

 

_ Pansexuality: you put that tongue back or so help me _

 

_ Horsefish: >:P fight me brooke  _

 

_ Pansexuality: ok _

 

_ Pansexuality: after Chloe and Michael fight then we’ll fight _

 

_ Horsefish: cool  _

_ \--- _

_ FtMTrans&Bi has changed their name to AFABulous _

_ \--- _

_ Meremy Hell _

 

_ AFABulous: I'm gay for you _

 

_ Gay: ‘um I'm bi what is this biphobia’ _

 

_ AFABulous: shut up you doof  _

 

_ Gay: the plot thiccens  _

 

_ AFABulous: dear God  _

 

_ Gay: did u see that _

 

_ AFABulous: yep I sure did _

 

_ Gay: yip yip _

 

_ AFABulous: yiff me harder daddy _

 

_ Gay: i  _

 

_ AFABulous: I really regret saying that _

 

_ Gay: you're so cute _

 

_ AFABulous: ur cuter _

 

_ Gay: jerk _

 

_ AFABulous: bitch _

 

_ Gay: you're the cutest _

 

_ AFABulous: real eyes realize real lies _

 

_ Gay: NO _

 

_ Gay: you're cute ok admit it _

 

_ AFABulous: never  _

 

_ AFABulous: you're the cute one in the relationship _

 

_ Gay: fine then you're the hot one _

 

_ AFABulous: nope _

 

_ Gay: JEREMIAH PLEASE  _

 

_ AFABulous: :’) sorry mikkael  _

 

_ Gay: ur my cute boyf and I love you a lot ok _

 

_ AFABulous: fake but ok _

 

_ Gay: GAH  _

_ \--- _

_ Horsefish: hello yes I am jamming to Lindsey Stirling, _

 

_ Pansexuality: whomst?? _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: OH fuck I looked her up _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: I'm such a lesbian  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: new info _

 

**_Horsefish has sent a video:_ ** [ **_BraveEnough.youtubelink_ ** ](https://youtu.be/tOmc9uG1Ndg)

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: violin goals™ _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: fUCK IM SO GAY  _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: that drop was EVERYTHING THO  _

 

_ Gay: holy shit _

 

_ AFABulous: ^^^^ _

 

_ Searich: I LOVE IT HOLY COW   _

  
_ Pansexuality: //clapping emoji// _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I had lost all confidence in my writing but!! Here I am, back at it again with the shitty memes and corny writing //whipdabs//
> 
> What's your opinion on my writing? I l i v e off of constructive criticism, lol
> 
> Thanks for reading!!! Chapter 100 (aaaaaaaa!!!!) Will be out soon!!


	100. Chapter 100

_ Hey Lillian,  _

 

_ Richard Goranski (Richie_G) has requested to follow you. Accept request? _

 

_ Thanks,  _

_                                                                                                  - The Facebook Team _

  
  


_ Request accepted. Richie_G is now following LiliJamesDillin. _

 

_ {October 4, 2017} _

 

_ {4:56 PM} _

 

_ Richie_G has sent a message to LilliJamesDillin. _

 

_ Richie_G: Hey, are you Jake’s sister? _

 

_ LilliJamesDillin: Yep! Are you their boyfriend? ,:0 _

 

_ Richie_G: Hey hey hey _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: Sweet sweet!! You seem really nice, with all the info that Jakey gave me :P _

 

_ Richie_G: Oh geez, haha _

 

_ Richie_G: So, sorry if this sounds creepy and stalkerish, but,,, are you close to New Jersey? _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: Unless Oregon moved across the country without me realizing it, sadly, no. :/ Why? _

 

_ Richie_G: Damn. Is there any way you can get here? I’m thinkin’ about surprising Jake with you, since you guys haven’t seen each other in about twelve years  _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: Hmm. Well, my friends are going down there soon, for a seminar about teaching… Maybe I can hitch a ride? :s _

 

_ Richie_G: When are they leaving? _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: Lemme check ;0 _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: Aha!! They’re leaving in a week, and I’m invited to come along! :D  _

 

_ Richie_G: Awesome! _

 

_ Richie_G: When the date gets closer, I’ll send you the location, k? _

 

_ LiliJamesDillin: K! I'm stoked! :P _

 

_ Richie_G: Same :D _

_ \--- _

Rich was acting… off. Jake didn’t know what was going on, but they didn’t ask. They don't know why.

 

However, about a week of Rich sneaking around, hiding his phone when Jake came into the room, and cutting off conversations when his phone vibrated, Jake had had enough.

 

When the two of them were in their dorm one night, watching  _ Supernatural  _ and Rich typing quietly, Jake paused the episode. When they did, Rich looked up, looking scandalized. 

 

“Hey!” 

 

“Who are you texting?” Jake asked, and Rich paled a little.

 

“Uh…” 

 

“Are you-” 

 

“No!” Rich said it too quickly, and Jake raised an eyebrow. “Jake, I- it's a surprise, okay?” 

 

“What kind of surprise?” 

 

“You’ll find out.” 

 

Jake felt mad, but turned the episode back on anyways. Something about a haunted hotel, and a little girl’s imaginary friend named Maggie.

 

Rich didn’t text for the rest of the night.

\---

A week later, Rich was jumpy and nervous. Well, more so than usual.

 

Jake had just gotten out of one of their classes when Rich grabbed their wrist and started dragging them towards his car.

 

“Am I getting kidnapped?” Jake asked, at a loss of what to say instead. Rich shrugged.

 

“Somewhat.” 

 

Silence. Rich drove away from the college, and turned the radio on.

 

“Where are we going?” 

 

“To a sacrificial fire pit.” Rich dead-paned.

 

“Cool!” Jake joked, making Rich smile. “But, seriously-”

 

“My house.” 

\---

Jake was humming the song on the radio when they pulled up to Heidi’s house. Rich got out, and waited until Jake got out. When they did, Rich opened and peeked through the door, then ushered Jake in.

 

“What are we doing here?” Jake asked suspiciously, side-eyeing Rich. Rich made a Cheshire-cat smile.

 

“Well…” 

 

“Jakey?” A new voice asked. Jake spun on their heel, and their breath left them in a gasp.

 

“Lily?” 

 

Lily smiled, then ran towards Jake, enfolding them in a hug. Jake hugged back, their eyes wide.

 

“How-? What-?” They looked towards Rich, who was smirking. “You-?” 

 

Rich laughed loudly. Lily pulled away, bouncing on her heels. 

 

“We had been texting for a few weeks, planning this!” She said, giggling. “Rich set it all up.” 

 

Jake felt their lip quiver, then went and swept Rich up in a hug. 

 

“Thank you…” They whispered, feeling Rich hug them back.

 

“You’re welcome!” 

 

Lily ‘aww’ed a little. 

 

“You guys are so sweet!” She coo’ed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!! Aaaaaaaaa!! Chapter 100!
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for this! I never expected this to go this far (hehe) and just, THANK YOU. I'm so happy that you all like this story so much, and I love writing it!
> 
> So, for this occasion, I've decided to record myself reading a chapter from this story and posting it on Tumblr! If you want, you can tell me what chapter I should read!
> 
> Thank you for this!!! I appreciate all of you so so so much!! <33333


	101. Chapter 101

Michael was fidgeting with a little wrapped box in his hands, running his finger over the bow and textured paper. The thirteen-year-old was sitting on the ground by Jeremy’s house, waiting for the other boy to come home.

 

When he saw Jeremy, he jumped up and jogged towards him, stuffing the present in his pocket.

 

“Hey, Jeremy!” Michael waved, and Jeremy waved back, excitedly quickening his pace.

 

“Michael! How were the Philippines?” Jeremy asked as he hugged Michael tightly. Michael hugged back, saying,

 

“It was _great_ there! My dad invited my cousins over one night, and we went to the shore pretty much everyday, and-” The two started to walk towards the park together, their hands tangled together out of habit. Michael swung their arms jokingly, Jeremy laughing at his antics.

 

Once they got to the park and sat on the swings, Michael pushed his heels back against the wood chips and swung back, his feet flying in the air and his head nearly touching the ground. He stared at the tree behind him for a while, then righted himself and twisted the chains of the swing until he was facing Jeremy, who was just letting himself swing lightly with his eyes closed.

 

“I got you something.” Michael said, his hand going to grab the package, the digit staying in his sweater. Jeremy smiled, his eyes bright.

 

“Really?!”

 

Michael nodded, and handed him the package.

 

“It’s not actually from the Philippines, but I thought you might- might like it.”

 

Why was Michael so nervous? He was just giving a gift to his best friend, who he hasn't seen in months. Who looked _really_ nice right now. Blue plaid looked good on him.

 

… Fuck. Not now gay thoughts.

 

Jeremy unwrapped the gift, then gasped, squashing the paper and ribbon underneath him so that he was sitting on it.

 

“You got me a Pusheen plush?!” Jeremy wheezed, clutching the tiny box to his chest. Michael grinned, letting the chains untwist and him spinning dizzily.

 

“Yeah! I saw a buncha boxes like that, there's a few more at my house…”

 

Jeremy gasped again, sounding even happier.

 

“Pusheen!” Jeremy cheered, then went to open the box, popping the top off and digging inside. “Oh my _God, look at him!”_

 

Jeremy held up a plush of a tiny fat cat, who was standing on a hamburger. Michael grinned, then went to stand on the swing, swinging gently.

 

“Thank you!” Jeremy chirped, bringing the plush close to his cheek and cuddling it. Michael smirked happily.

 

“You’re welcome.”

\---

Michael was lying on his bed and dozing off when his stomach suddenly was sat upon, Jeremy clambering onto his chest despite Michael’s indignant squawk.

 

“Dude, what the hell?” The now eighteen-year-old groaned, rubbing his eyes and taking his earbuds out of his ears.

 

“I got you something!” Jeremy said and bounced up and down slightly, making Michael cough. Since, y’know, that was his _stomach._

 

“Geez, are you high?” He asked, sitting up so that Jeremy was mostly sitting on his lap. However, a closer look into Jeremy’s eyes, which showed no sign of redness, threw that theory out the window. Jeremy giggled giddily.

 

“No, I’m just- just happy,” he said, taking a deep breath to calm his giggles. “So, remember that patch that you _reeeally_ wanted in senior year?”

 

“Uh…”

 

“Legend of Zelda…?” Jeremy supplied, waiting for it to click. “Really old…?”

 

It clicked.

 

What seemed like a keyboard smash made its way out of Michael’s nose and mouth, sounding garbled and nasally. “What..?!”

 

Jeremy pressed the package into his hands, smiling wildly.

 

Michael opened it to see a Legend Of Zelda ‘Power Patch,’ which was vintage _,_ thank you very much, and from 1988, so _score._

 

“Jeremy, I fuckin’ love you,” Michael wheezed, staring at the patch. Jeremy laughed, his tongue sticking out from between his teeth.

 

“I know~”

 

Michael hugged him, the patches cover crinkling a little as his arms went around Jeremy.

 

“I’m _serious,_ I fuckin’ love you!”

 

“I love you too!” Jeremy giggled. The two boys laughed and hugged, Michael, at one point, lying down and Jeremy cuddling with him, one of Michael’s arms around his waist. Michael was staring at the patch, taking in every last detail of it.

 

“Dude, how’d you get this?”

 

Jeremy hummed.

 

“Amazon.”

 

“You are a _God._ ”

 

Jeremy snickered, tucking his head underneath Michael’s chin.

 

“I know,” Jeremy was basking in the happiness radiating off of Michael.

 

“We should celebrate.”

 

“Mm? I'm interested.”

 

“...Getting stoned?”

 

Jeremy shrugged and nodded.

  
“I'm game.”


	102. Chapter 102

_ {October 23, 2017} _

 

_ {1:29 AM} _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi has changed the chat name to ‘hang in there Sayori’ _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: fuck you jake _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: :} _

 

_ Horsefish: th fuck  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: smiling in extreme pain like :} _

 

_ AFABulous: its like :3 but not _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi: sure you furry _

 

_ MtFTrans&Bi has changed their name to Jen-nay _

 

_ AFABulous: :0 >:( _

 

_ Jen-nay: :) _

 

_ Pansexuality: i may not be a smart man jen-nay _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: but i know what love is _

 

_ Gay: that movie is great _

 

_ Gay: im fukin tired i cant even get excited over forrest gump _

 

_ AFABulous: wheres christine i want to tell her something _

 

_ Jen-nay: shes sleeping like a responsible human being _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: goals _

 

_ Pansexuality: my off-brand ben & jerrys is telling me its premium like sure honey think what you want _

 

_ Gay: ‘off-brand ben & jerrys’ is the funniest thing ive ever read wtf _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: wait brooke why are you eating ice cream _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: i want some  _

 

_ Pansexuality: no this is ‘brookie dreams’ so its mine only _

 

_ Horsefish: if we just went by Brooke Logic the world would run so much smoother _

 

_ Pansexuality: Brooke Logic: trump sucks and should be impeached _

 

_ Gay: god bless _

 

_ Gay: im tired and gay g’night _

 

_ Horsefish: we know your gay michael its ur url _

 

_ Gay: yes but consider _

 

_ Gay:  _ **_2slempybois.jpg_ **

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: oh shit goals _

 

_ Pansexuality: i said ‘just lemme finish my ice cream’ and they both yelled ‘NICE FAM’ so _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: gay _

 

_ Gay: you called _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: hi _

 

_ Gay: hi _

 

_ Gay: ok but good night _

 

_ Gay has gone offline _

 

_ Horsefish: im going to sleep too g’night zzzzzzzz _

 

_ Horsefish has gone offline _

_ \--- _

_ {October 24, 2017} _

 

_ {2:56 AM} _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: do you ever just wake up and contemplate the meaning of life _

 

_ Gay: every tuesday _

 

_ Jen-nay: 42 _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: what _

 

_ Gay: henh _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: gay culture is that noise right there _

 

_ Gay: yeet _

 

_ Searich: the meaning of life is 42, 42 translates to death in japanese _

 

_ Gay: oh hi mark _

 

_ Searich: the meaning of life is death _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: oh wow _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: i  _

 

_ Gay: oh _

 

_ AFABulous: why is everyone awake _

 

_ Horsefish: i dunno _

 

_ Jen-nay: jesus christ _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: is who we need _

 

_ Gay: preach  _

 

_ AFABulous: im a slempy boyo gnight zzzzzz _

 

_ Jen-nay: wtf _

 

_ Pansexuality: furry culture _

 

_ Gay: jeremy is just pouting at his phone i think you broke him  _

 

_ Searich: Jeremy.exe has stopped responding. Please check in later _

 

_ Gay: you broke my boyfriend :( rude _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian:  _ _ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry its the way the game is played _

 

_ Jen-nay: that made no sense im sorry _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: :) i know _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: wtf have any of you seen the axe commercial where at the end the guy touches his armpit and hes shamed for it _

 

_ Gay: ye _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: let the man touch his armpit if he wants geez _

 

_ Jen-nay: thats a mood _

 

_ Jen-nay: im tired good night yall _

 

_ Jen-nay has gone offline _

 

_ Searich: yeah same i have a test today in 6 hours _

 

_ Gay: FOOL  _

 

_ Gay: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP  _

 

_ Searich: lmao night michael _

 

_ Gay: night christine  _

 

_ Searich has gone offline  _

 

_ Gay has gone offline _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this for 2 hours what the hell @ me
> 
> Edit: I fell asleep right after this chapter was written and I had a dream where someone blamed me for shipping Michael/Christine and I woke up saying 'what?' 
> 
> Yeah seeya


	103. Chapter 103

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy does has a panic attack in this chapter, and he is pretty detached from reality in the beginning, so you don't have to read that if you don't want to!!
> 
> Also!! I got a anon on Tumblr proposing the idea of them drawing an animatic for one of my chapters! If you're reading this, nonny, please know that I would absolutely LOVE to do that with you! You can message me anytime, and I can't wait to see your beautiful art!! Thanks!!

Jeremy woke up feeling bad. 

 

Not period-bad, where his legs hurt and he had a backache and a weird heat down there. Not anxious-bad, where he got nervous over every little thing that was going to be happening that day, and not even SQUIP-bad. Just… Bad.

 

He felt lazy and sleepy, and he kept on drifting off and falling asleep over and over to the point where it started to scare him a little. He tried to keep awake and get up, but it felt like something had trapped him in its claws, refusing to let him go. His thoughts floated by in pieces, nonsensical musings that were forgotten in a few seconds. 

 

He blearily opened his eyes after a sudden burst of fear hit him after he woke up, countless awakenings before that. He stared at the ceiling, his eyes flickering closed again before he heard the door creak open, then close with a key locking it. A few bumps and sliding noises followed, then creaking when the person sat on the couch besides the bed. 

 

“Mm-chael?” Jeremy forced the words to come out of his throat, despite the ball of ink that was seemingly congealed in the back of his tongue. The person hummed. 

 

“Nah, it’s Jake. Mike’s out with Rich, something about music class.” Oh. 

 

Jeremy hummed, but then his eyes started to burn and a knot formed in his throat, and his chest felt tighter and tighter until he was breathing heavily. He wanted  _ Michael _ , damn it, but he was being weak and pitiful and-

 

“Dude, Jeremy, calm down, ‘kay? I can call Michael if you want, I mean, I get it, it sucks not being able to be with the one person you-” Jake started to ramble in a slightly panicked tone, and Jeremy feels tears slipping down his face and wow, he’s a terrible person because he can’t freaking- “Jeremy, hey, look at me, man.”

 

Jeremy weakly tries to look at the other person, and he’s met with Jake, with their phone in their hand, looking at him with worried eyes. “Can I-?” Jeremy tries to direct Jake’s attention to the phone in their hand, and Jake startles, looks at the phone, and types for a second, then offers the phone to Jeremy, who uses all of his energy to grab it and put the device by his ear. There was static before a slightly muffled,

 

_ “Hey Jake, what’s goin’ on?”  _

 

Jeremy could cry. Actually, he does, a little. 

 

“Michael, it-it’s Jeremy, actually, uh-”

 

_ “Oh, hi, Jere-Bear.” _

 

“H-hi, I-I just wanted to-to talk to you, I, uh, woke up feeling kinda-a bad, and I-”

 

_ “What kind of bad?”  _ Michael sounds suddenly worried, and there’s a rustling of paper on the other end that makes Jeremy’s head hurt. 

 

“Just- bad? I don’t know, I’m sorry-”

 

_ “No, no, bebe, it’s okay, alright? I only have another hour of this class, but it takes me forty-five minutes to get home, so just hold on for a little longer, okay?”  _

 

Jeremy hums non-committedly. 

 

_ “Jeremy, please, I need a verbal answer, I’m sorry, but-” _

 

“I promise,” Jeremy forces out, his head getting fuzzy with sleep again. 

 

_ “Okay, bebe, since this isn’t your phone, I know because I didn’t put you as ‘This attractive bitch’ in my phone, sorry about that, but can you please put Jake on the line?” _

 

“Mmm,” Jeremy hums, then flops the phone into Jake’s lap, staring at the ceiling again. Jake picks the device up and answers with a ‘hey’ and listens for a while before getting up and trying to find a private place to stand and talk. They end up going to the hallway, leaving Jeremy alone.

 

… Fuck. 

 

His thoughts crash over him, and he knows that, oh, hey, maybe he should breathe but he can’t and it h  rts  a d  w y ca ‘t  h  h ink  r gh and wh t  t e  he l an panic panic  _ panic panic p ni   pani  nic   _

 

His vision is fuzzy and grey and he just feels so  _ wrong  _ and where was Michael he wanted Michael and what the  _ fuck  _ was wrong with him what was this feeling  _ why wh  w y  _

 

He can hear his name being called, but he’s too busy curling up on his side and hiding from the world and he just needed someone to comfort him please please-

 

Someone is desperately trying to get him to breathe, but he just sobs until his face is somewhat resembling dry. He sniffs, then turns and faces Jake, who is somewhat leaning over him, one knee on the bed.

 

“Sorry-” He whimpers out, and Jake just looks panicked again and shakes their head.

 

“No! Wait, just, don’t apologize, it’s okay, really, I-” Jake rambles, and Jeremy puts a hand on their cheek, trying to convince himself that their warmth was real, right here, right now, not any where else. “Uh-”

 

“You’re real, right?” He mumbles, and Jake stops, then smiles at him. 

 

“Yeah, I’m real. You’re in reality, okay, dude? Nowhere else but now.”

 

Jeremy lets his hand fall from Jake’s cheek, then tries to get up but ends up just flopping around a little. Jake helps him up, and Jeremy tries to get them to stop because their legs were shaking with the two of them and their combined weight, but Jake doesn’t listen to him, only seating him on the couch and taking away blankets, only saying,

 

“You gotta eat a little.” Before heading off, having to rest for a few seconds because their legs were trembling so much.

\---

After Jeremy had eaten, Michael and Rich had burst through the door, Rich making a weird Christine-esque pterodactyl noise, prompting Michael to look at him in disgust before heading over to Jeremy, sitting and enfolding him into a hug. 

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey.” Jeremy mumbled, his voice muffled by Michael’s sweater. 

\---

Rich also went to his datemate, promptly crawling onto their back, Jake squawking before desperately grabbing onto their boyfriend. Jake scowled at him, and their tongue poked out a little. Rich stuck it back, then said,

 

“Hi.”

 

“Mmph.”

 

“What a warm welcome!"


	104. Chapter 104

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Jake uses he/him and Jenna is called Ryan and uses he/him, but its only in a few sentences.
> 
> There's also a mention of Michael seeing Jeremy bare-chested, but its only for one sentence. 
> 
> And throwing up and child abuse (Rich's parents) are mentioned, but, once again, its quick. You don't have to read it if you don't want to! 
> 
> This is in honor of the newest Andi Mack 
> 
> DISNEY DID THAT

Seventh grade was weird.

In addition to Chloe Valentine being the first one to date,(she started going out with Dustin Kropp) a kid named Jake Dillinger was new and he introduced himself, but not before throwing up in front of everyone. Rich Goranski, Michael supposed, became more clumsy, since he started coming to school with more bruises and cuts on his face and arms. Brooke Lohst got sick with swine flu, which caused everyone to call her a pig before Madeleine Vallance had yelled at them, and Ryan Rolan had grown his hair out so it was longer. Christine Canigula also got the female lead in the school musical, _‘Fiddler On The Roof,’_ despite her being in seventh grade and Jeremy had started saving up for Testosterone.

Michael also got his first crush.

Michael didn’t like that he had a crush. He didn't necessarily mind the feelings of having a crush; the fluttery, happy feeling was one that he liked. The problem was the crush itself.

What kind of boy has a crush on another boy?

Even worse, who has a crush on a boy who already has a girlfriend?

Michael liked Dustin Kropp. Dustin had black hair and blue eyes, with freckles dotting his cheeks. He was _very_ cute. And he had a girlfriend. Which are what boys are supposed to have. Boys aren’t supposed to like boys.

Michael felt wrong. He tried to suppress his affection for Dustin, but it only grew stronger until Michael had a weird dream that made him wake up with an uncomfortable feeling down… yeah.

He didn’t do anything about it, he only clung to the belief that this was just a phase and that he would get a perfectly normal crush on a girl, maybe Stephanie or Katie or Kathryn or Thalia.

His crush only grows when they go into the locker rooms for gym the first time and Dustin takes off his shirt and _oh, he’s pretty._

_Shut up, Michael._

Jeremy gets a crush on Thalia, and Michael cheers him on, the two of them looking up how to ask a crush out. Jeremy buys a chocolate bar, but it melts in his pocket the day of when he planned to ask her out so he and Michael scribble out a quick letter and they (Michael) put it in her locker.

But then when Jeremy is turned down by Thalia because _she doesn’t like girls_ makes Jeremy break down in tears in the middle of lunch, and Michael goes off on her, spreading another rumor about him being a crazy person who yelled at people for no reason. Allen, the kid who Michael pushed when they were ten, decided to talk about the situation again, and it was not a good time in Michael’s life.

Jeremy felt bad, so he brought Michael over to his house and put in _Little Einsteins_ because that always helped the two of them feel better, being able to make fun of the show.  

Michael had been laughing at it, arguing with Jeremy that _no, Annie is a terrible singer! Heck, June is better than her!_ When he thinks _wow, I wish Dustin was here._ He goes quiet, and the feeling of _wrongness_ washes over him.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy asks, and Michael feels tears build. Should he tell him? Would Jeremy be mad?

“U-uh, I’m fine, just a stomachache.” Michael lies, feeling like he should wait. Just for a little.

\---

Michael wanted to tell Jeremy. The two of them were doing homework, and Dustin had said ‘hi’ to Michael and complimented his shirt. Jeremy had clearly seen the blush and dopey smile.

“Jeremy?” Michael put down his pencil, and his heart started racing and he felt gross and sweaty but he _had_ to tell Jeremy. He couldn’t keep feeling this weird, keeping this secret. Besides, Jeremy probably wouldn’t be mad, right? He wasn’t a girl, but he was born in a girls body. That was kinda like a boy liking another boy, right?

Michael was stupid. This was stupid.

“Mm?” Jeremy put down his pencil, looking at Michael. Michael felt sick.

“U-uh, you know- know Chloe and Dustin, right?”

“Dude, stop stuttering. Th-that’s _my_ thing.” Jeremy teased him, and Michael weakly smiled. “What’s wrong?"

“Uh, we saw Dustin kiss Chloe on the cheek, and- I, uh-”

“Oh! You like Chloe?” Jeremy squeaked, and Michael felt his shoulders fall. He looked down, and slowly shook his head. “... oh. You like…?”

“Dustin.” Michael felt his chest start to do something weird, like a yawn in the middle of his chest. His heart was racing.

“You like Dustin.” Jeremy repeated.

“Please don’t be mad,” Michael begged, sniffing despite his eyes being dry. Jeremy was quiet, but Michael heard the clacking of keys on the computer. He wanted to say something more, but he didn’t know what to say after admitting that you liked boys despite you being a boy.

Maybe Michael’s a girl. He started to ponder what girly names would fit him. He liked Elizabeth a lot. Or Jessie. Or Emma. Those were all nice. Jeremy could help him choose, and return the favor, maybe. That would be nice.

It was painfully quiet. Michael felt shaky and gross and _shit, he’s starting to cry._

“No, please don’t cry!” Jeremy suddenly gasped, tapping Michael’s wrist to show him the computer screen, which was showing results for- “Boys having crushes on boys.” Jeremy read. _“_ From the Wiki article: Homosexual, or gay, is when a man or woman likes a person of the same sex as them.”

“Holy shit,” Michael whispers, staring at the screen. “There’s… there’s people _like_ me?” Jeremy nodded.

“Yeah!”

Michael smiled, but then his smile dropped.

“But… I still feel weird.”

“What kind of weird?” Jeremy’s hands were poised over the keyboard again.

“Like… it’s not _normal!”_ Michael whined, thumping his head down on the desk.

“You’re just as normal as me,” Jeremy said, in a way of soothing the other boy, placing a hand on his back. “If it makes you feel better, I’ve had crushes on boys before.” Michael turned his head to look at Jeremy.

“But you’re a _boy._ You’re supposed to have crushes on girls. Girls can have crushes on both boys _and_ girls, but boys-”

“That makes no sense.” Jeremy interrupted, drumming his fingers on the keyboard. “ _Only_ girls can have crushes on girls and boys?”

“That’s what my moms did,” Michael admitted, playing with the arm of his glasses. Jeremy looked like the physical copy of the sideways mouth emoji that you make with a colon and the slash thingy.

“Well, go ask them.”

“No!”

“Why not?” Jeremy sounded irritated.

“They might get mad!”

“Why the _hell-”_ Jeremy was cut off by Há opening the door and leaning against it.

“Why is there so much yelling?” She asked, and both boys looked down at their homework.

“... Debate class?” Michael tried. Há laughed, then snorted a little through her nose.

“Nice try, honey. Just try to be a little quieter, okay?”

They both nodded, and Michael picked up his pencil.

“Há?” Jeremy asked, and Michael kicked him underneath the table. “I- I was wondering, uh, is it okay if a boy only likes boys? Like, he doesn’t like girls at all, but just dudes? Is that okay?”

Hà looked confused.

“Oh, Jeremiah, of _course_ its okay! Why do you ask?”

“One of our, uh, friends. He has a crush on a boy, but he thinks its wrong.”

Michael hadn’t felt this embarrassed since when they were five and Jeremy had walked into the bathroom and saw Michael’s… yeah. The awkward eye contact didn’t make it any better.

Or in sixth grade, when Michael had accidentally opened the door where Jeremy was changing and he had seen Jeremy bare-chested for at least three seconds before Jeremy shrieked and frantically closed the door with a cherry-red face, though maybe Jeremy was more embarrassed than he was there, so. Yeah.

_Listen to your mother, Michael._

“Well…” Há tapped her fingers against the grain of the wood of the doorway. “Just tell him that he doesn’t have _anything_ wrong with him, and that it’s okay if he likes boys. It’s his preference of attraction, and people should understand and respect that. Okay?”

Jeremy nodded.

“Thank you, Há!”

“You’re welcome, sweetie. Now, you guys gotta sleep soon, okay? It’s almost ten.”

“Okay,” the two boys said in unison, and Há closed the door, prompting Michael to turn in his seat and glare at Jeremy. Jeremy only smiled.

“It’s your pref-”

“Shut up,” Michael whined, making Jeremy giggle. He kicked Michael under the table, and the two got engaged in a game of footsie, soon having to brace themselves on their chairs with their hands to keep going. Jeremy lost.

\---

Michael came out to his moms about a month afterwards, Jasmine cheering and yelling ‘we did it! We made a not-straight child! Hallelujah, praise the lord!’ while jumping up and down. Michael laughed, and he got squished in a three-way hug between his mother's.

Telling Dustin was a bit (a lot, holy shit, a lot) harder, though. Thankfully, Chloe was out sick one day, so Michael decided it was time to tell the other boy.

Jeremy and he decided that notes were cursed, so Michael would tell him in real life, real time, face to face. Uh-oh.

“Dustin?” Michael tapped his shoulder, and Dustin turned, tilting his head to the side.

“Yeah?”

“I- uh, well, er, I think, well, uh, you’re really- uh, really-” _speak, Michael. Use your words, they’re there for a reason._ “Ithinkyou’rekindahotwhichisweirdIknowrighthahaha-” _Huh? What was that? Blockhead._ Dustin looked like he was hit over the head and dazed. He smiled, and his nose wrinkled curiously.

“Huh? You should be a rapper or somethin,’ dude, because, wow, you can talk _fast._ ”

Michael laughed nervously, his mouth going dry.

“Uh, I j-just think you’re really cute, and I know that’s weird coming from a guy, but, yeah, I think you’re pretty and-”

“I’m honored, Mike, but-”

“Yeah, I know-”

“I have a girlfriend, y’know? It was really sweet of you to say that to me, seriously, thanks so much, I’m flattered, but Chloe-”

“Yeah, I get it.” Michael's heart felt hurt, despite the perfectly logical reasoning behind Dustin’s rebuttal, and he’s honestly _ecstatic_ because, holy fuck, Dustin isn’t acting totally disgusted and laughing in his face, so that’s good, right?

“Hey, I still think you’re cool, yeah? This doesn’t change anything, and honestly, it's really cool that you came up to me and said that, so- yeah. Thanks, Mike.”

“Uh, you’re welcome.” Michael said awkwardly, and Dustin pulled him into a bro-hug (not a real hug, there's a difference, thank you) and Michael froze before melting and returning the bro-hug.

The embrace lasted a second longer, then Dustin released him and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, smiled, then said ‘see ya in math,’ and walked away. Michael waved, then turned and squealed into his hand before going to get a drink of water from the drinking fountain.

Jeremy was leaning awkwardly against the wall by the drinking fountain, but perked up when he saw Michael.

“So…?”

“Well, he’s not my boyfriend-”

“Understandable.”

“But, he also didn’t yell ‘hey, Michael here is gay,’ so that's good, right?”

Jeremy smiled.

“Yeah, thats great!”

Michael smiled back, then the two hugged, but it wasn’t a bro-hug. If you asked Michael, he didn’t really like the bro-hug. He liked normal hugs, with no weird hand-holdy thing going on in between your chests and someone hitting your back with their hand. It was just _uncomfortable._

“Understandable,” Jeremy agreed, and Michael realized he said that aloud. ‘But the bro-hug is quick, and with normal hugs, you have to untangle limbs and crap, and no one likes that.”

  
“I’ll argue with you,” Michael warns, despite the two untangling their limbs as they talked. Jeremy laughed, and the two made weird whining noises and slapped each other's hands before laughing together and heading to class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D 
> 
> I have no ideas! If you want to see anything, please tell me!! Thank you!


	105. Chapter 105

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm,,,,, fucking tired but here you go bbys

_ Jen-Nay: so christine introduced me to rags _

 

_ Gay: good _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: its a good musical _

 

_ Searich: ye it is!! _

 

_ AFABulous: oh yeah doesnt that have three sunny rooms in it?? _

 

_ Searich: best song tbh _

 

_ Jen-Nay: ye and now christine and i are singing three sunny rooms w/ me as rachel and her as avram its great _

 

_ Gay: penny a tune is better _

 

_ Searich: what _

 

_ Gay: oh ok nvm just listened to three sunny rooms _

 

_ Pansexuality has changed their name to PUFFBALL _

 

_ PUFFBALL: I GOT NEW PUFFY EARRINGS AAAAA THEY FEEL SO NICE AAAAAAAA  _

 

_ AFABulous: !! nice! _

 

_ PUFFBALL: I CAN STIM ON THEM AAAAAAA IM SO HAPPY _

_ \--- _

_ Gay: im gay _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: shocker _

 

_ Horsefish: whoa i had NO idea _

 

_ Gay: y’all are mean to me _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: y’all im  _

 

_ Gay: shshshsh y’all is gay culture _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: are you a country gay (michael) or a refined gay (me) _

 

_ Gay: are you a thumbs up bisexual or a awkward finger guns bisexual _

 

_ Horsefish: both _

 

_ AFABulous: both _

 

_ Jen-Nay: both _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: both _

 

_ Gay: i regret many things _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: wow i cant believe you told a bunch of bisexuals to make a choice fake fan _

 

_ Gay: hhhHHHHH _

_ \--- _

_ PUFFBALL to ‘POWERPUFF GIRLS IS FEMINISM CONFIRMED’ _

_ PUFFBALL: hey i uhhhhh love my girlfriends?? _

 

_ Jen-Nay: mood  _

 

_ PUFFBALL: oof ouch theyre cute nd sweet and aaaaa _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: i drank too much Loving Women juice and now im gay _

 

_ Jen-Nay: private chats between us are too powerful  _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: SPREAD THE RESPECTING WOMEN JUICE DAMMIT  _

_ \--- _

_ Searich: shakespeare belongs to the gays now _

 

_ Gay: fuck dude it sure does _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: what about sapphos   _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: chloe she was a lesbian and willy shakes was,,,, _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: DID WILLY SHAKES HAVE A SPOUSE  _

 

_ Searich: ‘WILLY SHAKES’ I CAN;B FUCIGHN BR EATH E _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: DID I FUCKING KILL CHRISTINE _

 

_ Horsefish: yes _

 

_ Gay: sorry jake that counts as jail time _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: OH NO  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: I CANT BELIEVE THIS  _

_ \--- _

_ Horsefish to ‘if rich sits on evan’s shoulders they can create the Ultimate Tall Person’  _

 

_ Horsefish: I CANT BELIEVE YOU’VE DONE THIS _

 

_ Acorn: AAAAAAA _

 

_ Horsefish: STOP LAUGHING DURING MY THERAPY SESSION _

 

_ Acorn: I’M SORRY ITS JUST THAT YOUR FACE WAS PRICELESS  _

 

_ Horsefish: asdfGHJKL MOM IS GETTING SUSPICIOUS  _

 

_ Acorn: OH NO IM SORRY _

 

_ Horsefish: its ok BUT NOW SHE THINKS I HAVE A TUMBLR ACCOUNT _

 

_ Acorn: richie you do have a tumblr account _

 

_ Horsefish: beside the point,,,, evi _

 

_ Acorn: What _

 

_ Horsefish: are there nicknames for people named evan _

 

_ Acorn: >:) _

 

_ Horsefish: OH NO _

_ \--- _

_ Horsefish: evangelos  _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: who is she _

 

_ Horsefish: oops _

_ \--- _

_ Horsefish to ‘if rich sits on evan’s shoulders they can create the Ultimate Tall Person’ _

 

_ Horsefish: evangelos _

 

_ Acorn: acceptable _

_ \--- _

_ Searich: do you ever just cry over broadway _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: every tuesday _

 

_ AFABulous: christine called me crying and just said ‘its over’ before hanging up im scared _

 

_ Gay: its either a horror movie or a 80’s romcom with no defined plot _

 

_ Jen-Nay: is there a difference _

 

_ Gay: truedat _

 

_ Searich: MY FAVORITE ACTOR JUST DID THEIR LAST BOWS IM EMOTIONAL _

 

_ PUFFBALL: i have ice cream _

 

_ Searich: thank god for brooke _

 

_ PUFFBALL: :D _

_ \--- _

_ Gay: did you know that jeremy speaks + writes in hebrew when he’s tired and/or stressed _

 

_ Gay: bc i do but i wanna see if you guys know _

 

_ PUFFBALL: omg thats so cute!! _

 

_ Gay: kinda terrifying as well _

 

_ Gay: its mostly adorable but _

 

_ Gay: he just turned to me and tried to hold a conversation in hebrew with me and i kept saying ‘jeremy idk what youre talking about’ but he just kept talking in hebrew it was great _

 

_ Gay: AND HE WROTE A NOTE TO ME IN HEBREW  _

 

_ Gay: **letter.jpg** _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: ‘im tired as hell but i love you and i want you to come to bed with me mikkael please’ _

 

_ Gay: IS THAT WHAT IT SAYS _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: more or less _

 

_ Jen-Nay: how??? _

 

_ Non Bi Bi Bi: i took hebrew throughout 3-8th grade _

 

_ 1-800-Les-Bian: damn _


	106. Chapter 106

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking sorry for not updating aghhhhh
> 
> I've just been so tired and stressed about school, I've had barely any time by myself.
> 
> I'll try to update more, because I love you guys and I love this story.
> 
> Once again, I'm so sorry I'm an ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theres Homophobia in this chapter, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to!

Why couldn’t Chloe be alone for one second?

 

She had walked into her grandmother's kitchen, wanting to make some hot chocolate for later, when Brooke and Jenna were coming over. She had glided into the kitchen, wanting to whip up some hot chocolate then leave, like a ghost or some shit.

 

But, of course, she had to completely fuck up as she was getting the marshmallows, dropping a spice container on the ground and alerting her grandmother. 

 

“Chloe, what are you doing?” 

 

Chloe cringed. 

 

“Making hot chocolate for my… friends.” Don’t out yourself now, idiot. Her grandmother is just getting her head wrapped around the possibility that, gasp, the same sex can love each other romantically! Wow! 

 

(Just wait until she heard about poly relationships. Of the same sex. It was going to blow her socks off.) 

 

She had been making progress, until a Pride commercial came on and her grandma was flung back into the good old days of the 1950’s, where her first boyfriend in college was actually gay. Michael had found the story hysterical. 

 

Back to the present. Chloe was now joined in the kitchen with another human being, who had suddenly realized she had a craving for hot chocolate and  _ make me some too, Chloe?  _

 

“Of course,” Chloe said through gritted teeth as she smiled fakely. 

 

“Get a better attitude,” her grandma scolded, then turned and got four mugs out of the cabinet. Thank God that Chloe had told her that Jenna and Brooke were coming over. 

 

Chloe got the perfect amount of water, and she went to turn the knob. Her grandma's hand then appeared out of nowhere, like some hellish shriveled hand of death (Chloe, you have  _ got to be nicer)  _ and Chloe whined ‘I can do it’ like some seven year old.

 

Wait, no. Three year old.

 

“Oh, alright,” her grandmother backed off, and started to spoon the mix into the cups as Chloe started boiling the water. 

 

There was a suspiciously-green object that was shaped like little bit of broccoli, so Chloe tried to pick it out. 

 

“The water’s not hot enough, Chloe.” 

 

“I know, grandma.” 

\---

Finally, the water was hot enough. Chloe poured it swiftly into cups, threw a few tiny marshmallows into the chocolate, and tried to escape the kitchen without having a mental breakdown and/or a headache. 

 

Nope. Again. 

 

“Who are your friends coming over, Chloe?” 

 

“Brooke and Jenna.” 

 

“Oh! Are they- dating?” 

 

Oh grandma, you have no idea. 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Ohhh.” Ohhh is right. Her grandma had that look on her face, like she was cringing but trying to hide it and failing miserably. “Why are you friends with them?”

 

“Because they’re nice, grandma.” Chloe tried to calm down, but her stupid hot-headedness got in the way. She started to head downstairs.

 

“Don’t walk away from me! I want to talk.” 

 

Chloe spun around, trying to keep her face as neutral as possible. It was getting very, very hard. 

 

“What?” Don’t snap, Chloe. Bad Chloe.

 

“I get that you like those girls, but… I don’t want them…  _ corrupting _ you, alright? If they’re homosexual, good for them, but-” 

 

“They haven’t corrupted me, grandmother.” Chloe hissed, her grip tightening on the hot chocolate mugs. “They’re very nice, and-”

 

“I know! I just want to see you on the aisle one day, marrying the guy that God-” 

 

Fuck. It.

 

“That’s it!” Chloe exploded. She set the mugs on the table, turned sharply to glare at her grandmother. “They are not corrupting me or anything like that, wanna know why?!” She was seething, and her voice was going higher up in pitch. “Because I’m  _ gay!”  _

 

Right when she said it, a wave of conflicting emotions crashed over her, but she was too mad to stop.

 

“I’m- I’m gay, and the best part? I’m dating both of them!” Her grandmother looked shocked. “Yes, grandmother, I have two girlfriends, because I’m lesbian, and I could care less about the guy that God or whatever planned for me!” Her voice cracked. 

 

“Chloe-”

 

“No! I don’t want to hear it! I’ve had enough  _ shit  _ about this, and-” she let out a shrill scream of anger, suddenly feeling drained. “Now I’m going to love my two beautiful girlfriends, downstairs, like the-” she growled, her voice feeling worn. 

 

Her grandmother had said nothing.

 

Chloe grabbed the mugs and stormed downstairs, placing the mugs down and flopping on the couch.

 

She had came out. Oh God.

 

The first person in her family. She had come out. 

 

Oh no. Her  _ mom- _

 

“Oh no,” she whined, her mind churning out the worst possibilities. At least she was now in college. 

 

Still, she felt… lighter. Now she didn’t have to hide as much, she could bring Jenna and Brooke to her house maybe, and- 

 

The doorbell rung. Chloe went to go get it.

 

She’ll deal later.


	107. Chapter 107

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at midnight so I apologize if this is boring and/or loopy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning for underage drinking

\----

“Peanut peanut.” 

 

“Jesus Christ Jere, you’re drunk.” Michael pushed the other boy away, Jeremy looking mad.

 

“Peanut peanut!” He whined, pressing the nut to Michael’s lips again. Michael rolled his eyes, then ate the peanut, Jeremy smiling and patting his head. “Good boy.” 

 

“Chloe, you ruined my boyfriend.” Michael whined, looking at the not-sober-but-not-drunk girl. Chloe snorted, then shrugged her shoulders in a half-assed apology.

 

“Sorry.” She then turned away from him, saying over her shoulder, “You blame me, but who was the one who placed him in my care?” 

 

“I was only gone for two hours!” 

 

“Three,” Jeremy mumbled, now trying to climb on Michael. “You’re  _ late.”  _

 

“Yeah Michael, you’re late.” Jake added, wheeling over in their wheelchair, trying to help Michael get Jeremy down from him. As Jake wrangled the giggly Jeremy, Michael rubbed his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry for being late, Jeremy-” Michael started, Jeremy wrinkling his nose and looking up at him with puppy eyes.

 

“I  _ waited,”  _ Jeremy pouted, his eyes teary from the alcohol in his system. Michael felt bad.

 

“I know,  _ bebe.  _ Now, lets go back to our dorm, ‘kay?” 

 

Jeremy nodded, and Jake let go of him so that he could skip up to Michael, stumbling and grabbing Michael’s bicep, Michael wrapping a arm around his waist. Jeremy hummed and laid his head on Michael’s shoulder, clinging to him as they headed down the hallway to their dorm.

 

Once they got there, Jeremy started poking Michael’s cheek, giggling childishly as Michael batted his wrist down as he started to remove his own coat, Jeremy wandering over to the couch and flopping on it. He kicked his shoes off and laid on the couch, nearly dozing off before Michael was gently brushing the hair out of his face, making the other boy squint in a displeased manner. 

 

“Mmmrgh-?” Jeremy grumbled, and Michael smiled, a snort leaving his nose before he could stop it. Years of seeing Jeremy be under the influence of something, whether it be weed or alcohol, always gave Michael humorous sounds coming from Jeremy. 

 

“Don’t you wanna sleep on the bed, Jere-bear?” Michael teased, tossing his head in the direction of the bed they shared. Jeremy thought about it, then nodded, hoisting himself out of bed and stumbling to the bed, Michael crawling in after him, taking his glasses off and setting them on the table, and started to put his arms around Jeremy to spoon him. 

 

Jeremy fidgeted, whining ‘no!’ and flipping so that he was the big spoon, Michael giggling a little under his breath and going with Jeremy’s drunk antics. 

 

Jeremy put his face in Michael’s hair, whispering ‘soft’ before nuzzling it, Michael smiling sleepily before dozing off, Jeremy following after.

**Author's Note:**

> It's now 2:16 when I posted this lol


End file.
